The Catalyser is the A.C. Ping Blog: The aim here is to share ideas and developments that will act as a catalyst to changing the world by changing people's beliefs. Change your beliefs change your world.
[7] “My mind is always full of getting it right”
Nadia Comaneci, Olympic Gold Medallist
The art of visualisation and mental rehearsal is well accepted by elite athletes. It is well accepted that by the time you get to the top in any sport success is 90% mental and only 10% physical. But what is the mental part doing? And how could we take these lessons and apply them to everyday life?
Sports people talk a lot about ‘being in the zone’ where everything seems to flow, you’re totally focussed, in sync and displaying dominance in whatever you’re doing. But is that thinking?
No – it’s the way of ‘no thinking’ – when the body knows exactly what to do and is just getting on with it – perfectly.
I like the analogy of juggling. To learn how to juggle you need to consciously know the mechanics of it – a left brain function. But to be able to actually juggle you need to let go of thinking about it and flow with it – a right brain function.
To learn how to live life in the way you want to – to be successful in whatever you want to pursue you need to think about it. You need to understand the mechanics of it. But to actually be able to do it, to live it, to BE it, you need to let go of thinking about it and go with the flow.
To be happy the key is to be in flow.
So what are you expecting? And what have you been rehearsing?
We know from the research in Neuroscience that neurons that fire together wire together. And that the stronger the emotional trigger attached to the experience, the stronger the neural bond. So the more often you THINK something and the stronger you FEEL about it the stronger will be the neural pathway and hence the behavioural pathway.
So, how do you know what you’re thinking?
Check out your internal stories. Deconstruct the dialogue.
Start with – what are the main themes of my thinking? There’s probably only three or four. Maybe: - relationships, money, self esteem, health.
Then bring it down a level and tease out the individual stories.
Are they good or bad? Do they play out a good outcome or are you protecting yourself from failure? Preparing yourself for the worst? Just in case?
Flip back to the elite athlete. You’re getting into the blocks ready for the start of the 100m sprint at the Olympics. You’ve trained long and hard for many years. You’re stretching your muscles and bouncing up and down on the spot getting ready to burst out of the blocks. You look up and down the line taking in your competitors.
Usain Bolt, the World Record holder, catches your eye. He’s the same height as you, same weight. Has done the same amount of training. He holds your stare. You feel his intent like a razor sharp knife burning its way into you. Your spirits drop, you start THINKING about it. You start remembering all of the times he’s won on the past. You start expecting to lose.
As a coach what would you say to yourself?
Now bring it back to your everyday life. What are you expecting?
“The time of the lonely wolf is over.
Gather yourselves!
Banish the word struggle from your attitude
and your vocabulary.
All we do now must done sacredly
and in celebration.
We are the ones we have been
waiting for."
A Message from the Hopi Elders
2012 seems like it has been coming forever - and now it is here...
The year of the Water Dragon in Chinese astrology, the year 5772 in the Hebrew Calender, 1433 in the Islamic Calender, and Dec 21 2012 - the end date of a 5,125 year cycle in the Mayan Calender.
Is it any different from other years? Who knows really - all will be revealed in hindsight - but NASA has predicted a 'solar storm' for 2012, economists the World over are predicting 'Global Financial Crisis Mark 2', the 'Arab Spring' is faltering whilst the 'Occupy Wall Street' movement continues to gain pace and preaches 'World Revolution as the only solution'.
What better time to follow the advice of the Hopi Elders and Walk a Sacred Path?
So, this is my commitment and intention for 2012. I've been on a journey of discovery my whole life intrigued by - as early as I can remember - the questions of 'The Meaning of Life', 'How to Lead a Good Life' and 'What is MY Life Purpose'.
On my journey I've been privileged - no BLESSED - to have been welcomed by so many people to share their answers to these questions.
I've listened to preachers talk of God, I've done silent Buddhist meditation retreats, I've worked with the homeless and drug addicted, traded millions in shares and futures on the world financial markets, sat with starving Zulus in Africa and listen to them tell me why it's ok to steal to feed their kids, watched their friends die of AIDS, listened to their stories of woe all the while being transfixed by their wide smiles, open heart and melodious voices.
I've written a lot about what I've learnt. If you've read my books you'll know a lot of my journey.
Just when I thought I'd answered my questions a few years ago I had a bike accident in Africa, I broke my neck and had a near death experience. Then I was plunged into the middle of a land claim battle. People threatened my life, a Sangoma (traditional healer) practiced tagathi (black magic) against me. I lost everything, I plunged to a depth I'd never known before. I returned to Australia, sick, destitute and in spiritual crisis.
"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger"
I retraced my steps and questioned everything I thought I knew. Out of that I eventually had to own my role in creating the crises I'd experienced.
My fear called it in.
I realised that words mean nothing unless the meaning is lived, owned and become.
The battle of the Spiritual Warrior is the battle between the Self and the Self - Fear versus Courage, Love versus Hate, Freedom versus Control.
"The journey to enlightenment begins within"
Self Mastery is the key - fail to master yourself and you will fail to master anything else.
And then of course back again to Purpose - What is my purpose in this life?
In Greek mythology there are five rivers that flow through the realm of Hades, the God of the dead. Before reincarnation souls are made to drink from Lethe, the river of forgetfulness, thus preventing them from remembering their past lives and their current life purpose.
Throughout history many spiritual teachers and philosophers have proposed that the key to finding meaning in life is to 'remember who we really are'. That there is in fact a part of ourselves that is somehow hidden from our conscious mind.
And then?
In Taoism we are the bridge between Heaven and Earth - the Tao flows through us and it is our purpose to bring Heaven onto Earth.
We create the Earth that we can dream. We can sit back and wait for others to do it but in doing so we will buy into our fears and hand over our powers to others.
Now is the time to step up, become who we really are and can be and create a better World because We Are The Ones We Have Been Waiting For.
So HOW? I hear you cry...
Embrace your power to create.
Walk a Sacred Path by Honouring - Yourself, Others, The Earth and Spirit.
Release the Past and the Future, choose to become fully Present to the moment and nurture it with love, peace and joy in every moment no matter how small or seemingly insignificant.
I am going to Walk this Path this year and I invite you to join me in doing so.
I will share The Sacred Path Teachings through this blog and I have also set up a Facebook page called 'Walk a Sacred Path' to allow for sharing our experiences in the Journey.
May this be a memorable year for all of us.
In peace and love always.
“Since there is no escape from the now,
Why not welcome it, become friendly with it?”
Eckhart Tolle
Western consumer driven economic rationalist world urges us to live for the outcome, to never be happy with what we have right now and to always be seeking to have more. But what if we – as Eckhart Tolle says – make peace with the now, become friendly with it?
I don’t believe there is a silver bullet magical solution to long term happiness. Sure we can all have, from time to time, ‘Road to Damascus’ type revelations which shift our consciousness – but mostly long term happiness is something that we all need to work at. Just as Aristotle sees excellence as a habit so too I believe is the achievement of long term happiness.
“Excellence is not an act, but a habit”
Aristotle
There are 6 choices I believe we need to make on a daily basis – 6 choices that need to become a habit in order to achieve long term happiness.
#1 CHOOSE YOUR INTENTION
You are in control, you can take responsibility therefore every morning choose your intention. Ask “How do I want to BE today?”
#2 CHOOSE WHERE TO PUT YOUR ENERGY
We all live in three worlds – the past, the present and the future. The past is a talk fest and so is the future. The only place where you have an opportunity to influence the world is right here right now in the present. So CHOOSE to be present.
#3 CHOOSE YOUR FOCUS
Neuroscience says that whatever you focus on strengthens the neural networks in the brain so focus on the bad and yep you strengthen the networks around the bad story. So, at the end of every day ask “What did I do RIGHT today?” – it might be hard at first but trust me you’ll get the hang of it.
#4 CHOOSE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE
You know how as you were growing up you were probably told by a parent or relative “You have to be your own best friend” and probably at the time you thought it was so corny and cheesy that you just dismissed it well… Yep – CHOOSE to love yourself unconditionally no matter what you do or how badly you failed, lost, embarrassed yourself or whatever – CHOOSE to love yourself without condition. You can do this in the morning right after you’ve set your intention for the day – something like “No matter what happens today I CHOOSE to love myself unconditionally”.
#5 CHOOSE TO HAVE FAITH
Yep – no one’s going to prove it to you and you’re not going to know for sure until after you die so why bother? Well – lack of faith that there is some deeper sense of meaning in the world means you’re stuck with worrying that you’re not going to get what you want. Which means that you’re stuck trying really hard to work everything out so you do get what you want. Which traps you in a tautological spiral of stress. So – let it go – CHOOSE to have faith. CHOOSE to surrender to outcome to spirit, creator, the Universe, God – whatever works for you – just CHOOSE – then you can be truly present to what’s going on right now. This is going to come straight after the unconditional love choice in the morning – “I CHOOSE to surrender the outcome of today’s events to insert here – spirit/God/creator etc. I CHOOSE to release all worry.”
#6 CHOOSE GRATITUDE
Yep another cheesy one but hey what’s the point in moaning? Who are you moaning to anyway? And what sort of neural networks do you think you’re strengthening by doing that? So – CHOOSE to be grateful. This is an end of the day one and the final finish before sleep time. After you’ve done the focus on what you did right then ask “What am I grateful for and why?”
That’s it – 6 simple daily choices that will accumulate over time and deliver long lasting happiness to you.
It’s never too late to begin today :)
"When all you can feel are the shadows, turn your face towards the sun"
Helen Keller
I’m a great subscriber to the belief that we are ‘already healed’ – it comes up again and again in spiritual teachings throughout the ages and I’m happy to see that modern science is now catching up on the benefit of ‘turning your face towards the sun’.
I believe many of us spend too much of our time focusing on what’s wrong with ourselves, others or the World and not enough time focusing on what we want and what we are doing right.
I spent a lot of time a few years ago trying to ‘fix’ myself and everyone else around me. Eventually I realised that if I spent a whole heap of time looking for what was wrong with me then, guess what, I was sure to find an ever increasing list of issues, ailments and problems.
All of the work that I do with people now is focussed on strength training and how you can achieve self mastery by using daily practices and simple techniques to slowly but surely change your old habits.
Neuroscience research now tells us that whatever you focus on strengthens the neural networks around that type of behaviour. So the carrot and stick approach both work to strengthen the behaviour they make you focus on. That is, using the stick brings the attention to the negative behaviour and hence strengthens the neural networks around the NEGATIVE behaviour.
YES you got it! That’s why beating yourself up about whatever you have done wrong actually strengthens the negative story about yourself or others...
Also – I think we should all recognise the interconnected nature of ourselves and the World. In Visioning I recognise the five parts of being – physical, mental, emotional, material and spiritual. All affect each other. Ignoring one is to the detriment of all. Working on each one affects the others.
So – here we go:-
So – there you go – 8 ways to be stronger. May your life be blessed!
“Whatever we build in the imagination
will accomplish itself in the circumstance of our lives.”
W.B. Yeats
“There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so."
William Shakespeare, Hamlet, Act II, Scene ii
If you knew that you created your reality through the beliefs that you hold about the World and how it works would you actively work at mastering them?
"I believe therefore I am"
But how do you work with belief?
"We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts we make our World."
Buddha
In the material World in which we live there is cause and effect both in a physical sense and also with regard to working with the energy that surrounds us and envelopes us all the time - the Quantum Field.
Intention + Belief = Creation
We choose to believe - often without much conscious thought and usually because we are swayed to go with the majority. If everyone else believes then it is hard to go against the trend - hence a reality based on consensus rather than choice. The strongest, noisiest, squeakiest wheel wins! Ha!
But what if you decided to choose?
What if you decided to ignore everything and everyone else and instead chose what to believe in?
Intention + Belief = Creation
Choose your intention and then choose to believe.
Going dancing can be going dancing or it can be the opportunity to cathartically release old emotional wounds.
Lighting a fire can be burning wood or choosing to create sacred space.
Having a meeting can be doing business or connecting with another human being for mutual benefit.
Working out at the gym can be lifting weights or practicing to be a spiritual warrior.
If you wait for evidence before you believe then you will limit yourself to what is already seen - to a limited rational view of the World.
We have the ability to imagine for a reason.
“Imagination is more important than knowledge.
For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand,
while imagination embraces the entire world,
and all there ever will be to know and understand.”
Albert Einstein
So, let go of the ties that bind you to the rational World and exercise your imagination.
Choose your intentions and act with intent. Create your World, create our World.
In peace and love always.
“Always keep your balance. Your dreams come true
only when your feet are on the ground. Keep going,
you never can tell when a miracle will occur.”
Bill Clinton
Are you in balance and what does that mean anyway? Yin-Yang, Male-Female, Left brain-Right brain, Work-Play…
We are told the ideal is to lead a balanced life. The principle concept of Navajo metaphysics says that we must walk in harmony with the earth and ourselves lest we do damage to both. Hozho is the word that describes this balance and it is a key element to being happy.
Sounds great hey? But what does it look like circa 2011?
First thing to recognise is that it’s different for all of us – we are all unique so what works for you may not work for me and vice versa. Anyone who tells you that they have THE cure all solution that works for EVERYONE is simply delusional.
So – recognise your uniqueness and honour yourself. Trust that yes you really do know best!
Next – define it – balance that is.
Emotional, Physical, Mental, Material, Spiritual.
Emotional – some people need lots of friends, others enjoy a limit of 3…, some people want to go out all the time, others like to stay at home and read a book, some people need to vent, others need to mull things over. So what about you? What would ideal emotional balance look like?
Physical – same deal – some people need to run 10kms every morning, others need to pump weights, while still more enjoy a quiet walk with the dog. On the food side we are different too – some can eat mung beans others need a steak.
Mental – they reckon the human brain weighs about 4% of body mass but uses about 17% of energy. Neuroscientists now say that we can reshape our brains throughout our entire lives. The old adage of ‘Use it or lose it’ really does apply. So how do you exercise your brain? And what’s the balance between thinking, playing and relaxing that works for you? Remember that fun things like games are good.
Material – so here’s the pressing question of our times. What’s a good balance between material wealth and happiness? The research certainly shows that below a certain threshold (in the US it is about $60,000 per annum) every extra dollar of income does have an effect on happiness but after that the effect diminishes. So what’s your ideal balance of material abundance and free time? How much money and ‘things’ is enough?
Spiritual – I believe this one feeds all the others – if you are materially rich but spiritually poor you’re most likely a bit of an arsehole (sorry) – but seriously – how do you feed and nurture the inner you? This can be as simple as quiet time to take the dog for a walk and go all the way to meditating for hours a day, praying, chanting or whatever works for you. The key is – Are you at peace?
Now you have a picture – what’s going to get you there?
In a nutshell - Daily practice and weekly rituals.
Little things accumulate – so 15 minutes every morning setting your intention for the day really does slowly add up. Just like taking time on a weekly basis to exercise, spend time with family and friends, read, write, ruminate and have fun.
If you have a good idea of what balance looks like for you then you can take the time to work out what sort of daily practice and weekly rituals you need to keep you on track, in balance and at peace with yourself and the world.
And the final piece in the jigsaw puzzle – outcome versus journey.
Don’t get so focussed on the outcome that you forget to stop and smell the roses.
“Between the idea
And the reality
Between the motion
And the act
Falls the shadow.”
T.S. Eliot
“One cannot resist an idea whose time has come.”
Victor Hugo
Sitting here in Australia near the beautiful beach of Byron Bay I’ve been amazed to see how quickly the revolutionary sentiment of Egypt, Libya and other countries has spread to Spain and other European countries.
At a recent protest rally a young man held a sign that said “Nobody Expects the Spanish Revolution”. But could we have seen this coming? How far could it spread? and What should/can we do about it?
I think the answer to the first question is YES!
If we look to nature we can see that systems like to stay in balance. This doesn’t mean that everything is lovely and benign but that one force often opposes an equal and opposite force. If a system swings out of balance it may go quite some way before reaching what is called the Tipping Point – the point at which a system is displaced from a state of equilibrium into a different state.
Systems often cope with some pretty severe shocks before righting themselves and resuming along the original path as if nothing has happened. But if the tipping point is reached it may only take a very small incident to provoke major change.
When I wrote ‘The Self Mastery Toolbox’ a couple of years ago I proposed that there were 5 lies that would trigger the revolution. These were/are:-
1. That rampant materialism provides for lasting happiness.
2. That the Earth is an infinite resource.
3. That we as human beings hold a privileged position above all the other creatures on Earth.
4. That we, as human beings, are separate from each other.
5. That there is only one God/answer/pathway to heaven and enlightenment.
One could write a book about these lies - as many have - but just a couple of points to note.
We’ve learnt nothing from the Global Financial Crisis of 2008 – in many cases the Government (read ‘we’) have bailed out mega rich corporations and the individuals who run them based on the idea that “They are too big to fail”.
Spanish revolution is triggered in part by 21% unemployment. Rising food prices squeezed more pain into Egypt. Greeks are upset by austerity measures demanded after European Union financial bailouts...
“The rich get richer, the poor get the picture”
Midnight Oil
Unequal distribution of wealth is causing inter-generational and intra-generational tensions. That means between people of different ages and people of the same ages in different countries – see lies #1 and #4 above.
Lie #2 – can I just say BP Oil Spill, the failure of Copenhagen, the focus on growth as a way out of debt for major economies...
The point is – the lies are still in the system and they will continue to provoke instability.
So – back to opposing forces – here’s my hypothesis. Terrorism as a force was/is opposed by military might – primarily US but also supported by allies such as the UK, Australia, and NATO. Because of terrorism and the threats made – we have accepted/relinquished some of our civil liberties and because of the FEAR have bought into the notion that we NEED a strong government/leaders/military to protect us.
The collapse of dictatorships in Egypt, Libya and other Muslim countries shifts the balance away from equilibrium. The result is that as Muslims have rallied against autocratic dictators who have pillaged the resources of their countries and concentrated the wealth in the hands of a few sycophantic cronies – the focus has shifted in countries such as Spain.
Suddenly Spanish people want to know why Governments let bankers and financiers go wild with cheap money. The French protestors want ‘Real democracy now!’
The revolution that is occurring in ‘western’ countries is against the overwhelming and unfair gap between the ‘haves’ and the ‘have nots’. In most cases this is an inter-generational conflict between baby boomers and the generations that followed. For instance in the UK In 2004, the UK baby boomers held 80% of the UK's wealth and bought 80% of all top of the range cars, 80% of cruises and 50% of skincare products. (Walker, Duncan (Sept 16, 2004) "Live Fast, Die Old", BBC News site. Retrieved 2007-01-26.)
My belief is that this revolution will spread to all developed countries.
So, what can we do about it?
1. Become a Neo-capitalist!
(read the article ‘How to change the world by being a Neocapitalist’ [8] )
- Recognise that every interaction that you have with the system either supports of violates the lies – make sure you’re not supporting them.
2. Gain mastery over the self so you don’t buy into fear and greed!
- the big challenge facing us as a species can be boiled down to fear and greed versus love and compassion. Big corporations and the mega marketing arms they employ try at all times to make you afraid that you will miss out or be passed over – and that what you haven’t isn’t enough.
- mastery over the self is about determining what you want, how you want to live in terms of what is most important in your life (read ‘Values’) and how you are going to get it. See the Self Mastery online program [9] and/or pay someone to help you/coach you.
- the challenge of the Spiritual Warrior is the ultimate battle between the self and the self (read fear and greed versus love and compassion) – this is the battle of our times.
Above all, remember now is not the time to wait, to sit back and watch because
“We are the ones we have been waiting for”
Hopi Indian Elders
"Aho Mitakuye Oyasin" (We are all related)
The saying of the prayer signalled the end of the second round of the Sweat Lodge and before the water pourer had finished asking "Does anyone wish to go outside" I had begun crawling towards the door.
My head was spinning, my only thought, the cool night air that lay outside. Crawling just far enough to get out of the way of the door I collapsed forwards to rest my head on the cool Earth.
"Bless you Mother Earth" I whispered as I breathed in and felt the heat begin to leave my body.
Gradually my heart slowed and the pounding in my temples resided.
I was there as support for the men who had chosen to do a Vision Quest. We had arrived at the plateau late in the afternoon and had spent the time before dark carefully laying the blankets over the Sweat Lodge and stoking the fire so the rocks within would be red hot.
As the sun had gone down we had stripped off, been smudged with white sage, and had entered the lodge.
The Sweat Lodge is a purification ceremony, used in this instance to prepare the people for their Vision Quest which would begin at dawn the next morning. The four rounds follow the four directions of the Medicine Wheel and at the start of each round more hot rocks (representing our Grandfathers) are brought into the Lodge.
"Time to come back in guys", the water pourer called.
Taking a few last deep breaths and a gulp of water I crawled back to the door, bowed down to honour the Earth again and said the prayer,
"Aho Mitakuye Oyasin"
"Welcome brother" was the response.
I'd been ok in the first round, content to sit in the North. But when that round had ended the person sitting in the West, the hottest part of the lodge because it is opposite the door, had asked to move and I had been asked to take his place.
Now as the third round began I steeled myself for the heat once again.
I've sat in many Lodges over the years but no two are the same. Whatever is going on for you at the time dictates how easy or hard the Lodge will be.
I see it as exploring the edge.
For only so long can you sit there in a hot dark Lodge and maintain control with your rational mind. Eventually you must submit to the process and along the journey you feel the edge of your power. As the temperature builds one part screams "Get me out of here NOW!"
It is then that you feel the panic and fear rising. It is then that you see your weakness and have an opportunity to tap into your strength.
I relate it to Vipassana meditation and the strong determination sessions that one must do in the course of a 10 day retreat. In those sessions the pain arises in the body and the aim is not to react to it but rather to feel it and have equanimity towards it thus allowing the samsaric loops to unwind.
Sweat Lodge is the same. How strong is your will at the edge?
Leaving is not an option if only for the fact that a friend has brought his 7 year old son along and after two rounds he has declared that Sweat Lodge is "Fun".
I hold my resolve and find my voice channelling the energy up and out of me. After the fourth round we finish the Lodge, cool off and share a meal. It has been intense but is only the beginning of the journey.
At 5am after barely 3 hours sleep we arise in the darkness so those doing Vision can go out to their spot at sunrise where they will remain without food or water for 24 hours.
The day passes slowly. There is no mobile reception, TV or books. The sacred fire must be tended to as it will burn for the entire three day ceremony.
I'm tempted to play games on my iPhone but spend almost two hours instead communing with a friendly Kookaburra that lets me get to within almost an arm's reach. There is only myself and the leader left at camp and when we eat, we eat for those who are sitting Vision. Our role is to hold space for them.
That night we take turns to get up and feed the fire. Sleep is deep and my dreams are profound although memory of them eludes me. At 4.30am we arise to get the fire and the stones ready for the 'dust off' Sweat Lodge those doing Vision will come back to at sunrise.
The sheer beauty of the rising sun absorbs my consciousness. How could anyone treat our World with disrespect? Have we forgotten where we came from and what holds us?
Just after 6am the drum is played to call the Vision Questers back.
They stride back into camp, disrobe, have a few mouthfuls of water and are smudged with sage once again so they can enter Lodge.
It is hot but this time I am at least by the door as my role is to place the Grandfathers (stones) in the central pit.
Soon I feel myself again at the edge as the Vision Questers relate their experiences.
The simple act of sitting on the Earth for 24 hours has been profound. A sense of awe surrounds them.
How have so many of us lost this connection?
A sharing circle and sacred pipe ceremony follows Lodge and then the prayers ties are burnt and the circle is closed.
Three days has seemed like many more. I need time to process what I have experienced. I honour those who had the courage to sit for their Vision Quest. I am grateful for the opportunity to serve. I am grateful to the leader who held the ceremony and to the owner of the land.
Above all, I bless you Mother Earth.
In peace and love always.
“Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.”
Leonardo da Vinci
I have to confess to being a thinking junkie!
“Why?”, “What does that mean?”, “How does that fit in?” are all questions that I have continually and repeatedly raised and attempted to answer throughout my life. And being someone who was well and truly trained to buy into, what I would call – ‘The Scientific Paradigm’ – I have of course attempted answer all of those questions by THINKING about them.
Ho hum… Yes I know, I know – get out of your head and embrace the totality of being!
Of late much of my work has included exercises and visualisations to achieve just that. Reinforced of course by the latest SCIENTIFIC findings in neuroscience and neurobiology that show just how much stuff is going on in our brains that we are NOT consciously aware of! (See again the great work of Candace Pert and in particular ‘Your body is your subconscious mind’)
Ancient people have of course understood all this for a VERY long time hence the often bizarre practices of shamans who do weird and wonderful things like bury themselves in a hole overnight to experience a ritual death or sit in a circle for anywhere up to four days to seek life vision.
Despite understanding all of this from a THINKING perspective and indeed having experienced many weird and wonderful things that have taken me well and truly beyond the realms of my conscious mind – not the least having a near death experience and recognising without doubt AFTER the event that some part of me knew it was going to happen BEFORE the event and tried desperately to warn me – I never cease to be amazed by how the most seemingly simplest of exercises can indeed tap into a wisdom held deeply within our bodies.
Which brings me back to ‘Feeling the Future’.
You may have read the previous post ‘Creating a Circle of Honour’ and you may even have taken yourself off to the beach or quiet place to do this exercise. You may have also read the post ‘Walking Between the Worlds’ which is all about future visioning.
So, just recently I did some visioning work with a group of people and sent them off to the beach to do a ‘Present Circle’. In other words to draw, in the sand, a circle that represented where they are right now. Then to sit in the circle and reflect on the reality of the present – what they have, who they are etc.
Once they had sat in the ‘Present’ for a while I asked them to turn to the north (the south if you are in the northern hemisphere) and walk as far as they felt they needed to and then draw a circle to represent the future. Then to sit in that circle and FEEL the future – noting what was in the circle and what was not.
What amazed me was that some of the people drew circles that were the same size as their current circles, some drew circles that were bigger – and in some cases MUCH bigger, whilst a few drew circles that were smaller than the present.
Debriefing all of this with them revealed that they KNEW what they needed. AND the realisation of this allowed them to then shift back into their heads and PLAN for it to happen.
So – from thinking to doing to being also works the other way around – that is – from BEING, to DOING to THINKING.
Great eh?
The key to all of this is ALIGNMENT.
At some point you have to own up to your ambition. Whether that be to have a ‘smaller’ simpler life or a bigger more challenging one. Pretending that you can create what you THINK without FEELING it deeply just won’t work. Subconsciously you will trip yourself up at every turn.
And so the last challenge – should you CHOOSE to accept it – once you have grounded yourself in your FUTURE circle – go and rub out the present one.
Because the FUTURE is NOW if you CHOOSE it to BE.
"We worry about what a child will become tomorrow,
yet we forget that he is someone today."
Stacia Tauscher
Wow the last post really hit a nerve!
Thanks for your feedback and comments and yes as a Dad I know children and child raising is a work in progress and that there is no 'right' way. Having said that I'd like to share some of my experiences in the context of wanting to share some ideas and stimulate some discussion around raising children.
You see in my work what I've found is that the key aspect to how a person ends up living their life is their inner dialogue around who they really are. In other words, what's the story that they tell about who they are and therefore what they believe they deserve from life?
All of us, I believe, are here for a specific purpose and all of us have a 'path' that we can follow that will lead us on an expansive journey - A Sacred Path.
Our best guide on, or towards that path is our self - or more specifically our - higher self, enlightened self, inner guide - or whatever name works for you.
The problem is that as a small child other people - with all the best intentions in the World - try to teach us what is wrong and right and how to get ahead in the World. BUT they teach us from their often flawed perspective and if we disagree with them in any way they tell us that we are WRONG and that we should adjust our thinking to fit theirs.
All of which causes us to abandon our own sense of guidance and adopt theirs.
But is this the best way?
“Children are human beings to whom respect is due, superior to us by reason of their innocence and of the greater possibilities of their future.”
Maria Montessori
What if we decided instead that the MOST important thing was to teach a child to trust themselves and follow their own guidance??
What if we decided to encourage a child to be fully emotionally expressive and to follow their passions?
Is this really possible?
I believe that it is and that the critical times for doing this are 2 - 6 years of age when the child is laying down their subconscious beliefs.
Think about it - looking back on your life - did your parents really know who you were and what your life path was? Or did you have a better idea yourself but were convinced by others who supposedly knew better (just because they were older) that you should drop your idea/passion and follow a 'sensible' path instead?
How did you feel as a child when you were forced to adhere to your parent's way of doing things? How did you feel when you were coerced by threat of punishment or withdrawal of love and/or attention into doing whatever it was your parents wanted you to do?
Did you feel like your parents gave you permission to be who you really were or did you learn to seek your parent's approval instead? Did this work for you in later life?
So, could you do it for your kids???
The keys I think are time, really listening and living by example.
"Children learn what they live
If a child lives with criticism
He learns to condemn
If a child lives with hostility
He learns to fight
If a child lives with ridicule
He learns to be shy
If a child lives with shame
He learns to feel guilty
If a child lives with tolerance
He learns to be patient
If a child lives with encouragement
He learns confidence
If a child lives with praise
He learns to appreciate
If a child lives with fairness
He learns justice
If a child lives with security
He learns faith
If a child lives with approval
He learns to like himself
If a child lives with acceptance
And friendship
He learns to find love in the World."
Anon.
So, give yourself permission to be all you can be, live by example and give your children permission to be themselves too.
In peace and love always.
“Real democracy now!”
French protest sign May 2011
Don’t kid yourself democracy is NOT representative. The bottom line is money talks so if you want to be heard either a) spend lots of cash lobbying politicians and making discrete (ha ha) political donations, or b) be part of an industry that provides lots of tax cash to the government eg mining in Australia, or c) learn how to gather together all your best mates and associates via social media and put pressure on governments via monetary means.
Hence – Capitalism for Revolutionaries #101
So Step 1
“If you’re not part of the solution you’re part of the problem”
Charles Rosner
We’ve moved onto the ‘free’ stage of free market capitalism – hence free information (see the wonderful thing called the Internet) + we can buy things from other countries and lots of innovative people have even managed to subvert restrictive practices by some companies (those ones who charge different prices in different regions and refuse to ship) by providing us with foreign shipping addresses and then forwarding things onwards (thanks!).
Free also means ‘free information’ about the corporations we’ve been working for and the ones we’ve been buying things from (thanks Corpwatch [10] and others).
Free information also extends to Governments (thanks Wikileaks [11] )
So responsibility now shifts to you and me – yes the revolutionaries – to take responsibility and use this information wisely.
Use it how?
Well remember that in a Neo-capitalist environment (see ‘How to Change the World by Being a Neo-capitalist’ [8] ) the key way that you express your values is through the economic system. So:-
Remembering that – “If you’re not part of the solution you’re part of the problem”
You vote through your interactions with the financial system.
So, Step 2 – Identify your values.
What do you stand for? Looking after the earth, equality, justice, freedom etc etc
Step 3 – Live It!
“A value is not a value unless you are willing to pay a price to uphold it”
In the last post “Are You Ready for Revolution?” [12] I wrote that the challenge of our times is Fear and Greed versus Love and Compassion. How does this work in practice?
#1 Imagine you work for a corporation that pays you very well but you have seen firsthand that some senior managers treat the young female staff very badly. At a function the MD comes onto you. You subsequently report it to HR but they tell you to keep quiet or you will lose your job (FEAR) but you persist so they then tell you that if you proceed you won’t be getting a job anywhere in the industry (more FEAR). You still persist so they flip to GREED and wave a big financial settlement in front of your face to keep you quiet. What will you do?
#2 Imagine you have a big fat mortgage and a new foreign bank has come into town offering a lower mortgage rate that will save you lots (GREED). You can close your eyes, switch banks and take the money or pay more to support your local credit union that puts money back into your community. What do you do?
#3 You work for a corporation which is suffering from the economic downturn. Sales are down so you are instructed to sack 20% of the staff and cut the wages of the other sales people – knowing that the base amount they will then be paid won’t be enough for those with families to survive. You know if you speak up your head will be on the chopping block (FEAR). What do you do?
The list goes on.
The tools are in our hands. Capitalism for Revolutionaries is Neo-capitalism. So, be clear about what you stand for and make sure you live it because:-
“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.”
Martin Luther King Jnr.
“Lessen your fear, because if you let it grow,
It is you who will become small.”
Amazonian Oral Tradition
Since Abba was top of the pop charts in the late 70s and we all bought music on vinyl there has been amazing change the in World. Social democracy and free market theory is based on the twin pillars of freedom and equality and that has given us unprecedented freedom of choice in the way we live our lives.
You can choose the type of relationship you want to be in and the way you want to work – be it contract, casual, part time, full time, from home, in the office, fly in – fly out. You can choose products from around the world and the way in which you buy them – face to face shopping, on the internet, mail order, phone order, local and international.
Temptation stirs your deepest desires at every turn.
But with every choice you make, you sacrifice one value and endorse another.
After you have taken your fill from the trough of excess the ultimate freedom that arises is freedom from your fears, anxieties, doubts and worries.
This is the freedom attained through mastery of the self. For the ultimate battle is the battle between the self and the self.
“At the end of all our journeying,
we shall return to the place from which we started out
and know it for the first time.”
T.S. Elliot (on the paradox of enlightenment)
Can you master your inner demons and ascend to a higher state of being free of anxiety?
Can you release your fear of scarcity and embrace abundance?
Can you let go of your judgements and embrace unity, diversity and oneness?
Can you let go of your greed and embrace love?
Can you find the courage to confront your fear?
On the journey to Self Mastery your harshest judge is YOU. The one who tells you that whatever you do is ‘Not good enough’ and that whoever you are being is ‘Not deserving’.
So where does your journey to Self Mastery begin?
Within.
By embracing your freedom to choose to love yourself unconditionally.
Every day for a week just choose every morning to love yourself unconditionally no matter what you do that is ‘Not good enough’ no matter how much you might feel you are ‘Not deserving’.
You are FREE so just take a deep breath and CHOOSE.
And see how much difference loving yourself makes to how you treat others. For how we treat others is simply a reflection of how we treat ourselves.
"Only when it is dark enough can you see the stars."
Martin Luther King Jnr
It never ceases to amaze me how with all the best intentions in the World we can pass on such toxic belief patterns to our children. See in an ideal World where we've all expanded out to become and be all that we are - we would honour our own inner guidance system with the utmost integrity.
But in the course of trying to raise children and help them to be all that they can be we all so often slip into something that goes like this "Hey kid I'm trying to teach you to be everything you can be and I think I know what I'm doing so do what I say or else I'm going to disapprove of what you are doing/withhold my love from you or whatever else works until you do - all in your best interests and because I love you of course..." And hence teach our children to follow us and seek our approval and permission to be who they are - which is actually OUR version of who we think they are...
Ho hum...
Problem is how all this stuff gets buried like lost treasure to come up later in life once we start digging in to ourselves. Neuroscience research shows that from 0 - 2 years old the brain is predominantly in Delta brain wave patterns (deep sleep - unconscious) then from 2 - 6 predominantly Theta (transcendent states - subconscious) then once they hit 6 the brain pretty much normalises into an adult type of mix.
Between 2 and 6 then we are laying down some pretty deep seated subconscious belief patterns just as Mummy and Daddy are deciding that - now that we can walk, talk and answer back to them - they should be teaching us how we should be...
How does this manifest later in life?
At some stage many of us get to the point where we really want to connect with who we really are so we go digging and bingo up comes the buried treasure.
Working with a client the other day he explained to me how he had a story running that he always quit things and never stuck at things. He'd got a try out for a famous football club as a teenager but when it didn't go well and the coach gave him a bullocking he spat the dummy and never played competitive football again.
Somewhere along the line it became a life pattern and before long he had a story to support it. All of which became self fulfilling until he decided to do some digging.
Up comes the buried treasure - "I have a right to be encouraged and supported" he said
"Otherwise you're taking your ball and going home?" I asked
"Oh" he replied
"How about just giving yourself permission to be who you are and do what you want and give up on waiting for someone else to give you support and encouragement?" I asked
The penny dropped, blinkers were removed, life changed.
So, if you're waiting - DON'T - give yourself permission to be who you really are. TRUST that you really are the best judge of what you should be doing with your life and what is most important to YOU.
“The way you treat others is simply a reflection of how you treat yourself”
It’s Valentine’s day so love is the theme of the day. Love, love, love where does it all start?
Surely from within?
Love yourself first and then you can radiate love out into the world?
Don Miguel Ruiz says in his book ‘The Four Agreements’ that we will accept from others the same level of abuse that we give ourselves minus a degree or so…
Ho hum, how’s your love life looking now? Ouch!
Back to the Self then – learn to love and accept yourself for exactly who you are then you will have the compassion to love and accept others for exactly who they are. If you find yourself being overly critical of judgemental of others – WAKE UP! – it’s a sure sign that deep down within the bowels of self talk is a little frustrated meanie just waiting to get out.
Solution? Yes, I thought you’d ask – since of course I wouldn’t want to be critical or judgemental of you because then I’d be a HYPOCRITE…
Allow yourself to be drawn to the things that naturally interest you. Allow your passions to surface. Allow yourself ME time to indulge in the things that you love, not for an outcome but simply for the pleasure of doing it and BEING in that space of flow.
Happiness is love in action. We all know people that we are drawn to because they obviously LOVE what they are doing. Their love is infectious because of the happiness it breeds.
Too often we find ourselves, particularly in the Western world, becoming simply cogs in an economic production machine. Producing, producing, producing. What’s the outcome?
We’re sliding down a slippery slope to the bottom of the economic production pile.
I read an article recently about the growth of the mega rich. One guy was quoted as saying “If the people in the west think they deserve 10 times the salary then maybe they should be producing 10 times as much”
Is that a happy life?
Time to go the other way surely?
Find what you LOVE, do what you LOVE, be LOVE.
LOVE yourself and allow the LOVE to flow through you into the World.
Create LOVING relationships, create LOVING communities, create a more LOVING World.
And it all begins within and by CHOOSING to LOVE yourself UNCONDITIONALLY.
Happy Valentine's Day :)
chron-ic
lingering, lasting, constant, bad, intense
(from the Latin chronicus and Greek khronos – time)
A while ago I wrote a piece called ‘Do You Suffer From Drama Syndrome?’ see the link http://www.acping.net/catalyser/do-you-suffer-drama-syndrome [13] and it seemed to resonate with quite a few of you as the feedback has been ongoing and constant. But just recently I realised that the syndrome can become chronic – see the definition above especially the part about time – yes chronic as in ingrained over time – ingrained in your being – ouch!
If you didn’t read the original and/or can’t be bothered to now - Drama Syndrome related to the notion that we are beings who constantly seek expansion and if we are too afraid to step into the unknown territory of the future and create something challenging and new we will subconsciously create a level of drama in our lives to feed our energetic needs – kind of a pseudo expansion or in the worst case energetic vampirism...
So in what warped way could this possibly become chronic and why in the world would we do that to ourselves anyway?
I think we can look at this from several different perspectives. If we take a scientific approach and consider how the brain works – specifically neuroplasticity – then it’s fair to say that because the neurons that fire together wire together – the simple act of repeatedly buying into drama in our lives encourages our brains to literally rewire and reshape to reflect this (you can cuss now if you’re the cussing type).
Consider Dr Edward De Bono’s analogy of rain falling on a flat plain. First the water forms puddles then the puddles join and slowly the water begins to flow to the lowest point. As it does it takes some of the soil with it and before too long little streams begin to form and eventually rivers. Next time it rains the water flows directly into these rivers.
Same with the brain. Neural networks form and strengthen on a use it or lose it basis. Continually buy into drama and guess what? Your first and most natural reaction when faced with some sort of challenge or difficulty in life will be to go ‘Oh poor me!’ and default into victimhood. By telling an ‘Oh poor me’ story you will naturally attract to you people who are willing to listen to an ‘Oh poor me story’ and maybe even indulge in ‘Oh poor me’ type behaviour – eg bitching type behaviour that go something like “Jeez you know what happened to me today...” to which the appropriate reply is “Oh you poor thing... but let me tell you what happened to me!” which soon becomes an enduring habit generally reinforced by escapist pursuits – because reality is of course painful - maybe even aided by drink and drugs...
The hard part about this is the more you go around the loop the more you reinforce the neural networks and behavioural patterns and – yep you got it – the more you go around the loop. Such that your expectations about what you deserve change and you retreat into trying to work out what might go wrong and how you are going to deal with it when it does which – yep you guessed it – means you’re now focussed on what might go wrong and hence put energy into creating what you don’t want. (cuss now)
From a shamanic perspective we could consider the concept of intergenerational wounds. If you’re Mum or Dad had drama syndrome and plodded through life telling an ‘Oh poor me’ story then the behavioural patterns they pass on to you – and the energetic wound – is along the lines of “Life sucks and when it does that’s just more evidence to prove that it does and hence more reason to find good ways of escaping”. Don’t bother trying to cope just find a way to escape...
The other bit that accompanies this is judgement. Yes, judgement of others who have more, do more and hence must have some of what should be yours... Which leads to separation from oneness and hence of course fear of judgement of others.
Bugger!
And all this just from a habit?
Yep
A habitual way of being.
You can tell if you’ve got it by asking:-
When good things happen to you do you find it hard to accept and instead start waiting for something to go wrong?
When bad things happen do you find yourself saying ‘That’d be right!’ and getting angry and frustrated? But deep down secretly accepting that as your lot in life.
So enough already – how do you get out of it and break the habit?
It’s kind of like giving up cigarettes and going to the gym instead.
The key is focus and what you do next.
Choose what you want to focus on – by that I mean thoughts – then act accordingly. Then do it repeatedly in spite of whatever happens.
I had a lesson in this just recently. I grow medicinal plants and some of them are in my front yard. The other day I went up to the shop to get a paper and some milk and when I came back I saw that some plants had been stolen.
My initial reaction was anger followed by thoughts of GBH to the perpetrator, followed by an ‘Oh poor me story’ and a ‘That’d be right’. Slowly though I realised how disempowering that story was and how it painted me into a corner as a victim afraid of the world thinking about how I was going to get a bigger fence and maybe some security and a BIG dog!
Eventually I realised that I didn’t want to live like that and that I didn’t need to feed the energy of the person who had done such a low act. I’m not God, I don’t need to be the judge, I don’t need to buy into someone else’s shit and I don’t even need to know why it happened. Fear of it happening again simply draws my focus onto the fear and the negative which is what I don’t want. I choose then to hold my space and focus on abundance. To have compassion for the person that did that knowing that :-
“We are punished by our sins,
not for them.”
Elbert Hubbard
So, if your Drama Syndrome has become chronic my advice to you is get off the drip feed of negative energy, manage your focus and CHOOSE what space you hold – NO MATTER WHAT!
“If you think you are beaten, you are.
If you think you dare not, you don't.
If you like to win, but think you can't,
It is almost certain you won't.If you think you'll lose, you're lost.
For out of the World we find,
Success begins with a fellows' will -
It's all in the state of mind.If you think you are outclassed, you are.
You've got to think high to rise,
You've got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win a prize.Life's battles don't always go
To the stronger man or the faster man,
But soon or late the man who wins
Is the man who thinks he can!"
Walter B. Wintle
This post follows on from the last two 'Act With Intention' [14] and 'Strengthen Your Will' [15]and it deals with the key skill of being able to 'Hold Space'.
So, let me first explain what I mean by 'Holding Space'. In the Quantum world we are all linked together by the Quantum Field that flows all around us and through us all the time. At all times we have an opportunity to both influence the field and to be influenced by the field. That is, we can be both proactive and reactive. We can be influenced by others and we can influence others.
How do we do this? How can we work with the field?
Reflect back to the notion of 'being' and the 3 worlds in which we exist - the Past, the Present and the Future.
As I discussed in the last post most of us are living a reactive life, perpetually going around the Past/Present loop. As we play out past behavioural patterns we effectively relinquish our opportunity to consciously create what we want.
To create something completely new we need to be in the Future/Present loop and it is our WILL that holds us in this loop. That is - regardless of the evidence available we choose to hold ourselves in this loop.
Holding Space is about using our WILL to hold space around a particular future possibility.
A client shared a fantastic example with me recently.
He was at a concert and about half way through the concert a couple of people behind him started making a racket and being disruptive. He turned around and confronted them and simply asked them to stop. They turned out to be two rather big fellows and his initial reaction was 'Oh shit what have I done I'm about to get the crap beaten out of me'.
But despite their initial aggressive reaction he resisted the temptation to buy into his fear and instead held space around the possibility that they were all there to enjoy the concert and have a good time.
As they threatened he simply smiled and said 'Come on guys we're all here to have a good time, let's enjoy the concert'. They relaxed, smiled back, apologised and they all enjoyed the rest of the show.
Set Intention, Strengthen Your Will, Hold Your Space.
Because the Quantum Field is not affected by time or space you can hold space for other people and for remote possibilities.
Holding Space for other people means holding energy for them around a high possibility or good way of being. A friend recently separated from his partner. Their 7 year old son was having trouble adjusting to the split and didn't want to go with his Mother.
A typical reaction in this situation would be to REACT to events and to worry about the well being of the child - to fear the worst.
That's would be holding space around a poor outcome. The alternative is to be PROACTIVE and to ask 'What's the highest possibility?' - maybe that the Mother and son get to have a heart to heart and sort things out and the child's character is strengthened by the experience.
The Father then could hold space around that outcome - focussing instead on the Mother's good qualities and the strength of character of his son. His energy then would be directed at helping rather than hindering the situation.
Do you see the difference?
To hold space around a remote possibility would mean to be clear about EXACTLY what it is you want and how it would FEEL to have it come to reality.
Holding Space then means to use your WILL to envisage the situation and then give THANKS even though it has not happened yet. In other words don't WAIT for EVIDENCE!!
Decide what you want and resonate with that possibility.
You can train yourself in this by sitting in a circle of honour http://www.acping.net/catalyser/creating-circle-honour [16]
The next step is to let go of control which I will cover next week.
In peace and love always.
"We will not know truth until we lose the fear of knowing ourselves"
Alex Polari de Alverga
In talking with a friend the other night over dinner we got onto the subject of meditative and shamanic practices and the ability to access intuitive guidance. Although he had studied shamanic teachings and had been a regular meditator for many years, of late he’d found himself out of the habit and struggling to connect with his deeper guidance.
Shamanic teachings, advise that there are other realms that we can access through journey work, dreams, drumming and other practices. A Shaman is someone who is able to access these alternate realities at will. The key to being able to do this is to have enough power to make the shift.
Logically those on a shamanic path are tasked with practices that enable one to gather power but what does that mean in a day to day sense? I guess the easy way to explain it is by referring to energy. On a daily basis we each have a certain amount of energy – some naturally more than others. We can waste lots of energy on worrying – the brain is about 4% of our body weight but uses about 17% of energy. We can waste lots of energy on getting angry. We can waste lots of energy on engaging in trivial activities. When we finally come to the end of our day we are exhausted – too exhausted to exercise or eat properly, and hence in subsequent days our available energy diminishes.
Managing our energy allows us to have more energy which allows us access to more engaging activities in our lives.
Power is much the same. The Toltec teachings are known to many through the books of Carlos Castaneda and in them the Toltec Shaman Don Juan provides a few techniques for gathering power.
First and foremost in I think all shamanic and religious teachings is being able to rid oneself of ego. Self Importance is the activity that consumes the greatest amount of energy. The key practice in being able to rechannel this energy is stopping the internal dialogue. You know the voice in your head that keeps telling you the same old story?
Buddhism teaches single point meditation focussing on the breath or a mantra to allow the mind to slowly settle and the dialogue to stop.
Don Juan proposes this technique – slightly cross the eyes and keep a peripheral view of everything. Keep one’s unfocussed eyes at a point just above the horizon – it is possible to notice everything in a 180 degree radius. This will shut off internal dialogue.
Not Doing is the next technique to gathering power. Students of neuroscience will know that the more often neurons fire together they will wire together. Hence the more often you do something the more habitual it becomes – and the more it traps you in a fixed way of being that won’t allow you access to deeper intuitive guidance.
Not Doing is the technique to practice – and it is literally as it sounds. Anything you do habitually – break it up. So, if you drive one particular way to work – change it. If you always have coffee in the morning – have tea. If you always go to sleep and wake up at the same time – change it.
The next level is to break it down a bit further – so for instance walk half as fast and open your senses to everything around you.
The third technique for gathering power is Recapitulation. In our lives we go through experiences that cause us to have attachments to various people and places. Some parts of us get either intentionally or accidentally left behind. Some people still maintain an energy link to us – not always good.
Recapitulation is the process of going back through the events of your life and reliving the significant moments. As you do so consciously reclaim your own energy and give back any energy that you may have accidently or deliberately taken from someone else. Also – if you find an energy cord still open – sever it.
By using these techniques you can slowly gather power just as you can slowly gather energy by exercising, sleeping and eating well. The key - of course - is to develop a daily pratice that incorporates these techniques.
“I feel there are two people inside me - me and my intuition. If I go against her,
she'll screw me every time, and if I follow her, we get along quite nicely.”
Kim Basinger
I’ve got laryngitis (did you know how to spell that? I didn’t – where would we be without spell checkers? Soon they’ll be totally automatic and the days of spelling tests completely obsolete..) but I digress...
The thing about not being able to speak is you get to listen – really listen – and watch. It’s made me reflect on a workshop on leadership I ran recently where we were talking about managing conflict and I was asked what’s the key skill in managing conflict in a group or relationship.
Bet you can guess the answer?
If you said listening you’d be half right because although you can do all the communication courses in the world and get really good at asking specific questions that supposedly tell you EXACTLY what someone is thinking it won’t tell you what your intuition might be screaming at you.
A guy in the workshop called it his ‘shit-ometer’ – now maybe that’s not a very sophisticated name but I’m sure you get the point. Within seconds of walking into a room you have scanned every person in the room for where they are ‘at’ and determined what your ‘shit-ometer’ reading is.
The real skill – and the one that separates the really good leaders and movers and shakers from everyone else is – and then what do you DO about it?
Personal relationships are even more tricky – you come home – walk in the front door take one look at your partner and ding ding – in some deep dark recess of your brain a little alarm bell goes off. Mostly we are trained to ignore these alarms but how much more in flow would life be if we LISTENED and then – yes had the COURAGE – to ACT!
But we doubt ourselves.
“You ok honey?”
“Yep”
“Ok”
And off we go to read a book, play with the kids, water the garden, walk the dog.
Later we pretend to be surprised when we are ‘blindsided’ by an emotional partner who maybe drops the bombshell that we ‘never listen’. To which the appropriate response is
“Huh?”
At work we are ‘blindsided’ by an emotional staff member who’s complained to HR that we “Never listen and don’t seem to care”...
But can you really pretend in retrospect that you didn’t know?
Trust yourself – believe in yourself – LISTEN to yourself.
Because YOU KNOW and if you don’t trust yourself why should anyone else?
Self Mastery is about BELIEVEing in yourself so you don't constantly second guess the intuitive messages you are getting. Being Open in your HEART so you are in tune with what you are feeling. Being PRESENT and then ACTING courageously having released the outcome with FAITH and embraced LOVE.
If you want to check in with where you are at with your own Self Mastery do a quick self assessment against the 8 Principles
Self Belief
Open Heart
Being Present
Following Passion
Acting Courageously
Being Grateful
Having Faith
Embracing Love
Simply consider the principle and then rate yourself out of 10.
You will quickly see which areas you are weak in and then you can go to the Online Program [9] find the Principle that needs some work and then do the Core Practice until your self assessment comes up above 8.
Self Assessment works because 'You are what you Beleive' - if you tell a crappy story about yourself then guess what? You definitely won't believe you DESERVE love and abundance in your life. Imagine how life changes if you consistently rate yourself over 8 in each of the Self Mastery Principles? This is my wish for you.
In peace and love always.
“Stop thinking and talking about it
and there is nothing you will not be able to know”
Zen paradigm
Sitting with a Self Mastery participant the other day I asked him if he had any issues or blocks that were troubling him. He replied that yes there was one thing that was really on his mind and was even keeping him up at night - paperwork!
I confess that I laughed as it is something that I hate to do too.
The problem was that not only was he not doing his paperwork - his follow up story was that there was something wrong with him because he wasn't doing it and he really needed to fix that.
Now I've known this guy for quite a while so I pointed out to him that his history is of being crap at doing paperwork. No matter what strategies he's had for trying to 'fix' things he has always managed to sabotage his own efforts and as a result he has consistently failed in the paperwork task.
Now my take on this is that - REALITY DOES NOT LIE
BUT - it only tells the truth about the past - AND - there's a disconnect between our conscious mind and our subconscious mind - such that the conscious mind is unaware of what the subconscious mind is doing or creating.
For instance we may THINK that we can solve the paperwork puzzle BUT reality may show that our subconscious mind consistently sabotages that effort.
This is a fight that the conscious mind will never win.
So - what to do?
Accept who you REALLY are and do more of what you love!
Drop the secondary story that goes something like 'Oh poor me I am so crap at doing paperwork - therefore I am a failure'
And instead try 'I am crap at doing paperwork - AND THAT'S OK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! '
Get it?
None of us are perfect - all of us are crap at something AND THAT'S OK!
But during our lives we've often been taught (by example) to beat ourselves up about something that we are not so good at.
Let it go!
Just do more of what you love!
If you are crap at paperwork ACCEPT IT and find someone who is good at it to do your paperwork for you.
You can't escape who you really are so embrace your true self instead. Find the path of least resistance through life, allow yourself to flow with the energy and give yourself permission to do more of what you love!
“Authenticity is about being true to who you are,
even when everyone else wants you to be someone else."
Michael Jordan
Sitting with some friends recently talking late into the night the conversation turned to relationships and the tricky balance between Kindness and Truth. Before I go on though, how about taking a moment and answering the question yourself - what would you prefer Kindness or Truth?
My initial thought was that I would like Kindness but then further discussion revealed the motivation for the Kindness and the manifested form of it.
"I like to be kind to people" someone said
"Why?"
"Because I don't like to hurt or upset people"
"So you would withhold some of the truth so they won't be upset?"
"Yes"
"Why? Is their happiness more important than yours?"
Is other people's happiness more important than yours?
When minor things annoy you about someone would you rather not tell them and hence avoid their reaction and just get on with things instead?
Why?
Do you believe that you are more able to deal with any emotional upset than they are and hence you'd rather 'suck it up' than create a scene?
"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved."
Helen Keller
The conversation progressed further until we got to,
"I hate a lack of authenticity in others and I'm especially wary of it in myself"
"But aren't you being in-authentic by holding back the truth and being kind?"
"There's a fine line..."
Indeed there is.
But I would say a balance - between truth and kindness. Moral absolutes are hard - real life requires a balance between What's Right, What's Good and What's Fitting.
Is it Right to tell the truth? Yes - but consider the scenario of living in Berlin at the height of the Second World War - your neighbours come to you and ask if they can hide out in your attic as they are Jewish. Compassion and caring are good so you say yes. But soon the SS come to the door and ask "Are there any Jews hiding in your attic?"
Are you willing to lie now?
A girlfriend tries on a new pair of jeans and asks - "Does my bum look big in this?"
The truth is YES but to speak it bluntly is to be mean.
Kindness might require a frown and a not so indiscreet "Mmmm..."
Truth doesn't need to be spoken just felt.
"There is no need to talk, because the truth of what one says lies in what one does."
Bernard Schlink 'The Reader'
So, the moral of the story?
"Everything's got a moral, if only you can find it."
Lewis Carroll
There is no perfect right way. There is intention to be kind and speak the truth then there is the dance. The dance of life.
"Walk in the rain,
smell flowers,
stop along the way,
build sandcastles,
go on field trips,
find out how things work,
tell stories,
say the magic words,
trust the universe."
Bruce Williamson
In peace and love always.
“Reality is merely an illusion,
albeit a very persistent one.”
Albert Einstein
Isn’t it neat that with all the effort that goes into teaching us as young children how to ‘fit in’ to society we actually manage to overlay our deepest inner knowing with a whole lots of ‘must do’ things?
Consider once again the Ontological model of ‘Being’ below:-
From a ‘being’ perspective our current patterns and habits have momentum. That is, if you are in the habit of doing something what that means is you have a learned and habitual response to certain stimuli. Take one of the worst examples – cigarettes – if you have ever been a smoker or know a smoker then you will see that the completion of a meal usually stimulates the desperate need for a cigarette. Likewise the partaking of alcohol.
The absence of a cigarette after such an event causes distress because of the way our brains are structured. Put simply – neurons that fire together wire together. And the more often you fire the neurons together the more strongly they are wired together. So the more often you have cigarettes with alcohol the more strongly you will desire it.
You might say ‘Yes but there are chemicals involved here’ – to which I would say – ‘Good point, go read ‘Molecules of Emotion’ by Candace Pert and you will see that ALL emotions have a corresponding chemical signature.
So, back to habits and momentum – if you are used to doing something and/or feeling a certain way bottom line is you are hooked on the associated chemicals.
Refer to the model and you will see that your way of ‘being’ has a momentum. You cycle round and round the Past/Present loop not only because of the chemicals but also because it is safe and known – no risk.
Your Past captures you in a fixed view of the world.
To remember who you really are you need to find a way of taking the blinkers off and opening up to different perspectives.
Break out of the Past/Present loop.
Thankfully over the ages people have realised the need to do this and hence there are some really good tools you can use:-
All of these tools need to be used and practiced with to get some really good benefit.
If you remember that what you are trying to do is to free your mind from a fixed view of the world and fixed ways of doing things then slowly but surely with perseverance you begin to open your mind up to a new reality.
Incorporating any one of these practices into your daily or weekly routines is of great benefit to connecting with who you really are. Letting go of the need to be right is the next step on the journey.
“Judgement locks the gate to
true possibility.”
The quickest way to change the world is to accept the world exactly how it is now and the quickest way to change yourself is to accept yourself for exactly who you are right now. Sounds easy eh? But how difficult it is in reality!
I wrote in Part 2 that to find our true selves what we need to do is forget a lot of what we have been told about ourselves, who we are and how we should be so we can ‘fit in’ to mainstream society.
Releasing judgement is the crucial next step.
Consider once again the Ontological model of ‘Being’ below:-
Berceuse of the way we are hardwired we are constantly trying to make sense of the world and ‘work it all out’. That’s because we inherently disclike uncertainty – it stresses us out and sends us into obsessive worrying about what’s going to happen next.
The thing is though this process is a tautological trap that limits our possible futures. You will see if you look at the model above that if you are going around and around in the Past/Present loop then you are operating in a safe mode where you believe you know everything and have a good idea of what is right and wrong. The decisions you make – when faced with a problem in the present – are based on your past experiences and your understanding of how the world works. Because of this you are simply re-acting to events as they occur based on what has happened to you in the past.
Don’t worry you’ll recall if you’ve been reading this blog for a while that most of us are going around and around in this loop about 90 – 95 % of the time and in fact most of the 50-60,000 thoughts you will have today will be EXACTLY the same as the ones you had yesterday!
Yes we work very hard at maintaining our tenuous grip on reality by telling ourselves the same stories over and over again.
Judgement – by definition - is based on right/wrong thinking and the longer you have been going around and around in the same past/present loop the deeper ingrained will be the habits and the more blinkered will be your thinking.
Hence – on the journey to remember who you really are, once you’ve managed to forget some of the stories that have been put in your head about who you are then the next step is to release judgement in all its forms.
Easier said than done. However, awareness is the first step so if you recognise that having a fixed and narrow view of the world will limit your ability to see TRUE possibility then maybe you can rationally see the benefit of letting go of judgement.
Of what? Is the next obvious question.
YOU for starters.
Accept yourself for EXACTLY who you are. CHOOSE to love yourself unconditionally.
Next – OTHERS – pay attention to your level of judgement of others and work at eliminating any and all judgements.
Thirdly – THE WORLD – accept the world for exactly how it is now. Stop complaining and moaning about anything in the world.
So – where does this leave you?
Able to focus on the future that you want to create and with a big space for ALLOWING true possibility and unconditional love into the world. AND with a big space for ACCEPTING yourself for EXACTLY who you are.
“It is a poor kind of memory that only works backwards.”
The White Queen, in ‘Through the Looking Glass’
This is the last part of this four part series on ‘Learning is the Art of Remembering’ and by now, if you’ve been following the first three parts you should have released a whole heap of baggage that’s been dumped on you from others.
Feeling lighter and freer the next step is to trust yourself unconditionally and feel your natural path. This may sound a little esoteric but deep inside of you some part of you really does know what you are doing here and who you really are. The problem is that we get taught NOT to trust ourselves and hence we stray away from the natural path of our energy because we don’t THINK it is the right way to go.
Feeling is the language of creation – just go and ask an artist if he or she thinks their way through a painting and they will laugh at you. Feeling is the way to find the path of least resistance.
So stop trying to work it out and try this exercise instead.
Sit in a quiet space and allow your energy to settle by doing some four fold breathing – that is breathe in through the nose to a count of four, hold for four, then exhale through the mouth to the count of four, then hold for four and repeat. As you are breathing in visualise healing white light entering your body. As you hold for four visualise the white light coursing through your body and the oxygenated air going to where it is needed most. As you exhale visualise the black toxic energy and associated waste leaving your body. As you hold for four visualise your energy settling.
When you are ready visualise a beam of white light going up from the top of your head and into the clouds. Feel your energy body becoming lighter and lighter until you are able to ascend up the beam of white light and into the clouds.
Feel yourself sitting up in the clouds and then set your intention and ask for assistance to travel forward in time – you can set a certain time if you want to – for instance next year, five years etc
Now with that intent in mind come back down the beam of white light and into your body. Look in front of you and you will see a door – this is the door to your house. Don’t try and judge whether or not this is right or wrong just allow whatever comes up. Enter the house and take a look around. See your future self living there.
Who else lives there? What sort of work are you doing? What do you look like? How do you feel?
When you are ready release the image of the future and allow yourself to ascend back up the beam of light to the clouds. Set your intent to come back to the present and come back down the beam and into your body. Feel the parts of your body again. Allow yourself to be present in this moment and slowly open your eyes. Now write down what you have experienced especially what you have FELT.
So is this just a kooky exercise?
Quantum physics recognises that all possible futures exist at once and that it is possible to move forwards and backwards in time. Doing exercises like this free your mind up to be able to explore the future.
Free of all the baggage from the past and trusting in yourself you can then start to FEEL what different futures are like and whether or not they are on your natural path of energy. This is why I created the Self Mastery Program – so you can use the tools to become who you really are and create what you really want.
“The soul has the ability to conform to her character the destiny that is allotted to her.”
Plotinus
If you would like to explore further you can work through the program online at the website www.acping.net [17]
“We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.”
T.S. Eliot
Recently I have been reading the book ‘The Healing Wisdom of Africa’ by Malidoma Patrice Some who belongs to the Dagara people of Burkina Faso in West Africa. In the book Malidoma puts forward the view that we all come into this life with a specific purpose and gift that we subsequently forget as we incarnate into this physical realm. In his belief system it is the responsibility of the tribe to help young people to remember what their gift is so that they can best contribute to the tribe. The failure of a person to find their gift is a failure of the tribe.
It is a concept that I have explored at length with people doing Vision Quests and I believe it is useful to ask the question ‘If that is the case then HOW do I remember?’
The first step I believe, paradoxically, is to forget!
If we come into this World with some remnant memory of our true purpose then what is certain is that in most cases we are encouraged to quickly forget all about it as we are taught how to fit into the exiting World.
Generally in the Western World we assume that a child has no knowledge – that they are pretty much a blank sheet of paper. As we grow we learn what is right and wrong from the perspective of those already here – usually our parents and those closest to us. With all good intention they seek to help us to understand the World as they BELIEVE it is.
But in seeking to educate us they LIMIT us to THEIR fixed view of the World. What is more they overlay THEIR interpretation of who we are on top of our deep seated KNOWLEDGE of who we are. In essence they – with all good intent remember – often invalidate our inner knowing.
As children go through school these days they are usually encouraged to address the question of WHAT they will DO when they finish school and how they will CONTRIBUTE to society (read ‘the economic production machine’).
The concept of connecting with PASSION and finding a sense of deeper meaning in life is often overlooked in the race to find a CAREER. Recently a discussion has raged on the professional networking forum LinkedIn on how one can ovoid the often 20 year time frame that it takes many to find their true passion. The comments posted have been instructive.
So back to forgetting - Kunihiro Yamate explores this concept in his book ‘The Way of No Thinking’ – a great and very confronting read for those wishing to delve into the philosophical aspect of reconnecting to one’s deeper knowing.
For those of us with more focussed on the HOW the starting point is to try and stir the pot.
If you imagine that your existential being is a pot of stew which has been cooking for a while then maybe you can see that the heavy bits have sunk to the bottom of the pot and may well be clogging up your Vision. Asking the following may help to stir it up:-
1. In your life what have you REALLY enjoyed doing?
2. In your life what have you been GOOD at?
3. What is the common element between these two?
“Where your talents and the needs of the world collide,
there lies your vocation”
Aristotle
Identifying the answer to these questions may stir up two things:-
1. What you deeply believe you DESERVE from the World
2. Your sub conscious limiting stories about who you are
So, if you are game and you truly believe that you have as much right as anyone else to have a life filled with deep passion and purpose then start stirring!
“We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.”
Marianne Williamson
Part II coming in two weeks time.
“Time is a storm in which we are all lost"
William Carlos Williams
Act With Intention, Strengthen Your Will, Hold Space - Let Go Of Control...
Yes this is 'Take a deep breath time'...
Fixed thinking holds us in the repetitive recreation of past patterns. We are hardwired to look for patterns and our left brain desperately tries to make sense of the World so we can feel safe and comfortable.
Reflect back to the notion of 'being' and the 3 worlds in which we exist - the Past, the Present and the Future. Left brain seeks certainty and safety - Left brain is always trying to 'work it all out' - Left brain is rational, logical and reasonable - Left brain sticks you firmly in the Past/Present step by step reactive continuous improvement way of life.
Reason is the last refuge of the rational backward looking mind.
To create the unknown future is to step into the mystery. Let go of fear, embrace courage and choose to believe in something for which there is no evidence.
Buying into fear leads us to control and the task of trying to rationally create a future where we get what we want. But by definition it is limited to what already is - maybe just in a different form - yes maybe like reshuffling the deck chairs on the Titanic - it might look better but it's still going to sink!
Imagine if we tried to create the perfect sunset?
Control will all ultimately lead to frustration because our deepest inner nature is that we are growth seeking beings - we want to expand. Expansion means stepping into the mystery, letting go of control and allowing things to grow. The mystery of life excites us.
Act With Intention, Strengthen Your Will, Hold Space, Let Go of Control, Release and Surrender the outcome to spirit...
Become Comfortable in Uncertainty.
So, where do you start with this?
Vision - what do I want?
Action - with clear intention - pure of heart based on inner truth having totally released the outcome.
That means - no "If you don't .... then I will" threats to get what you want.
No - withholding of emotions and/or affections (yes you could read SEX!) to get what you want.
No - dare I say it? - GUILT TRIPS - to get what you want.
No - whining and complaining - to get what you want.
YES to truth - "When you ... I FEEL ..."
YES to acceptance of what you get as PERFECTION based on TRUTH.
YES to FREEDOM not control.
Are you brave enough to do this?
In peace and love always.
“If every day you take even the tiniest action aligned to your dream;
One day you will awake and as if by magic, see your Vision become reality.”
Happy 2011 to you and best wishes for a fantastic fulfilling and joyous year!
Someone asked me recently what was the best bit of advice I could give them for helping them to create the life they wanted. I thought about it for a while and realised that the thing that makes the biggest difference in the long term is realising how the little things accumulate.
In the world we live in today we are often time pressured, rushing here and there in a mad flap to get things done, meet deadlines, stay on schedule and get to the end point when we can finally take a deep breath and relax for a bit before it all starts again.
When it comes to the issue of leading a good and happy life or solving any of the others problems that may confront us many of us want a silver bullet – the one magical answer that will resolve all issues and concerns instantaneously.
But what about the journey of discovery?
“Stuff the journey!” I hear you say “Just give me the answer and put me out of my misery!”
Don’t you hate that – the way that so many ‘gurus’ ‘healers’ ‘teachers’ sugar coat their message so you are forced to sit through 3 hours of monologue before they finally tell you that the answer is – yes – love ! Love baby! Love and a four day retreat where you will confront your…
Ooops sorry I digress…
OK so the answer – little things accumulate – Self Mastery is about training (or retraining) the self so that you can live the life you want.
This means that like going to the gym or Zumba or whatever other type of exercise you’re into – you must do it more than once and definitely more than the three times you did the last time you had a year long mega expensive gym membership!
In Self Mastery Training little things means daily practice. Manage your intention. Manage your Focus. Act and – oh yeah – love baby! Self love – love yourself unconditionally.
So, daily practice at a minimum looks like this:-
Morning – before getting out of bed set intention by asking “How do I want to BE today?”
And then “I CHOOSE to love myself unconditionally”
Night – with some quiet ‘ME time’
1. What did I do right today?
2. What am I grateful for?
You can do all that in not very much time at all and slowly but surely over a period of time, just like you get better at following those crazy Zumba moves after you’ve been to a few classes, you will find that they will simply become second nature and the little things will accumulate into something much greater!
“To know and yet to do is yet to know”
Yukio Mishima
What strange creatures we humans are. Blessed with a brain that allows us to project into the future or reflect on the past we all too often find ourselves living there instead of here. To translate theory and thought into actions and ways of being is a task that anyone on an evolutionary path strives to achieve.
The aim of the Self Mastery principles I developed is to be a tool to facilitate this outcome. Just as a good mechanic knows which tool to reach for when fixing a broken car, a warrior on the path to freedom must also have a bag of tricks to reach into.
The Self Mastery Principles are a diagnostic tool. Keeping a list of them nearby allows you to do a quick self assessment when things aren’t quite on track. On a scale of one to ten you should aim to be 8 or above on all of the 8 principles.
Begin with 1. Self Belief – where do you rate yourself out of 10? Are you free of doubt and anxiety, loving yourself unconditionally and believing in your ability to create what you want in the world?
2. Open Your Heart – are you connected to your deepest feelings? Freely and willingly expressing these to those around you? Honouring yourself and how you truly feel? Embracing a full range of emotional expression?
3. Be Present – are you here now? Knowing that right here right now is your point of leverage and power in the world? The only place where you can influence the material world through action?
4. Follow Your Passions – are you doing what you love? Enjoying what you are doing and allowing yourself to be lost in the flow?
5. Act Courageously – acknowledging your feelings and deepest intuitive guidance are you trusting yourself and ACTING? Not waiting for evidence and rational thought to catch up with where you are?
6. Have Faith – have you released the outcome and embraced the journey? Trusting that what you get is exactly perfect regardless of whether you think so or not?
7. Be Grateful – are you focussed on the good bits? The blessings in your life? The serendipitous events that bring an unpredictable spark to the world?
8. Embrace Love – can you step into the light? Love yourself exactly who you are? Love others for exactly who they are? Love the World exactly as it is right now? Release the judgement that locks the gate to a higher possibility?
When you’ve done your quick self assessment then step back and take a look at any of the elements that rated less than 6. Now you have your focus – where you need to take some action.
Your diagnosis complete you can go back to your toolbox and select the appropriate tool for tuning up your being and embracing life as a spiritual warrior.
"There are things for the understanding
of which a different being is necessary."
Gurdjief
I know that serendipitous moments occur at the most unexpected of times so I guess I shouldn't have been surprised when I awoke out of a deep sleep to hear the voice of Esther Hicks as Abraham telling me "When you give your attention to something you want only give appreciation for it, not attention to lack of it".
My flight from Melbourne Australia had been delayed by almost two hours so by the time we boarded the plane I'd done my fair share of watching planes take off, navel gazing and people watching, as well as enjoying an orange sunset and the slow transition from day to night.
What makes us all do what we do? And why are some people more successful at things than others?
I'd travelled from my home in Northern NSW where as my mother recently said 'It seems like everyone is on holidays' to bustling, busy Melbourne where I lost count of how many $300,000 Bentley Continental GTs I saw and no one batted an eyelid at the similarly pricey Audi parked casually in the no standing zone collecting parking tickets at regular intervals .
Years ago I left this life. What if I had stayed on my path as a finance broker? Would it be me parking the Audi carelessly disregarding the street signs? What if? What if?
Once we did board the plane we were delayed another half an hour on the runway and I confess I struggled to remain awake and was happy to finally be in the air and see the seat belt sign switched off.
I slipped in the headphones and clicked on 'The Vortex' by Abraham Hicks with the questions rolling through my mind.
And so - 'Don't pay any attention to lack of what you want'
Never Complain - don't waste your breath. Things happen for a reason you don't need to know why. You just need to have FAITH that they are happening for a reason and then do your very best to get yourself the hell out of the way of what's coming next. Complaining about the circumstances of the right now - whatever they are - just keeps you focussed on the lack.
In the days after I lusted after the Bentleys and Audis I spent time with people who were in that realm and realised that mostly they were focussed on their lack of time and kept telling me what they were going to do NEXT - once they had cash to retire, step back and relax. They told me about empty holiday homes and the plans to enjoy fresh country air. We could swap I thought.
Never Explain - I tried to explain that there was balance to be had. They explained that would happen when their bank balance reached X. I wondered if it was them or me that was focussed on lack.
If you believe that you have a unique life path to follow and you have the courage to believe in yourself then back yourself. No one else needs to understand why you are doing things and no one else's answers will truly work for you.
According to Rudolph Steiner there is another self, a hidden spiritual being which is the individuals guide or guardian which
"Does not make itself known through thoughts or inner words. It acts through deeds, processes and events. It is this other self that leads the soul through the details of its life destiny and evokes its capacities, tendencies and talents."
After lots of nitty gritty blood sweat and tears internet work the Online Vision Quest Program is now up and running.
If you would like to do the Program on your own I will set up a user account so you can access the member site for one month at a cost of A$30.
Users have full access to the 12 exercises, supporting readings and the Personal Development Plan.
For more information email me at acping@acping.net [18]
Many thanks also to all the people who volunteered to be testers on the beta version!
“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”
Steve Jobs’ Stanford Commencement Address
To change the World we need to lead by example. Pointing to the problems and highlighting other's inadequacies and fears only feeds them.
If there was a blank canvas and you were God what would you create?
One thing that I have struggled with in my life and I know others have as well is what I call 'transactional living'. The underlying story behind transactional living is that 'I only have worth according to what I can give or exchange with others'.
Transactional living leads you down the rescuers path because you are always looking for someone to help so that you can reinforce your own self worth. Problem is that in identifying people you need to help you often make them a victim "Oh you poor thing" goes the script "Let me help you".
You're a rescuer if
a) you are helping people who haven't asked for your help
b) you are doing something that you really don't want to do, or
c) you are doing more than 50% of the work in a relationship.
Rescuing behaviour masks a deep lack of self worth - the key being that you don't believe you are worthy of love/friendship/affection/money (yes MONEY) - hence you need to do an exchange to get it - hence transactional living.
How do I know about this? Well like I said I'm a past master at it but years of work and diligently stopping myself from stepping in has pretty much got me out of it.
The rescuing behaviour is part of the Karpman Drama triangle (Google it) - the three key roles are rescuer, victim, persecutor. The best bit about it (sic) is that even though we start playing the game by being the rescuer - the longer you play the game the more likely you are to end up playing all three roles. YES - the victim one too...
Boring!
So - the alternative?
THE CIRCLE :)
We are all one.
Ubuntu is the African term
"I am because we are"
Lovely hey?
Which leads me to the 'Occupy Wall Street' protests and a conversation I had with someone where they asked "OK so what's the alternative? Occupy Wall Street then what?"
So, here's my answer - if we all did what we loved and we loved ourselves then we would have no need to live a transactional life and instead would completely and lovingly and unconditionally value ourselves. Which means not only would we have no need to buy into the fear and greed that drives the financial system and the ridiculous excesses that we have seen over the last few years in particular BUT we would also be really good at saying NO to the ridiculous way that some organisations want to treat their human resources (read 'people' if you have but a sliver of heart fibre left) AND we would trust in the essential good nature of our brothers and sisters (since we are of course all ONE - remember the CIRCLE) AND therefore we would of course bask in LOVE and the essential ABUNDANT nature of our World.
So - sorry about the rave this was supposed to be a short blog...
My point is this - I charge people quite a bit of money to Visioning and Self Mastery work. I do that so people take it seriously and don't just ask me to work with them because they are curious. BUT I know there are people who take the work seriously and don't have the money to pay.
So - let's cut to the chase - if you would like to do some work with me, for the month of November - PAY ME WHAT YOU CAN - first in best dressed (there's about 25 one hour slots left in my schedule) - email me at acping@acping.net [18] and book a Skype or face to face session (I'm near Byron Bay).
In peace and love always.
“Change nothing – just tell the truth and things will change by themselves”
Thomas J. Leonard
I saw ‘Practice Truth Fear Nothing’ on a t shirt recently and it really resonated with me because I’d been thinking about the relationship between truth and control. I often like to drop things like this into the ontological template below and see where they fit.
You see truth has to live in the Present ONLY – in the Past truth is open to interpretation – we all know people who are very good at re-writing the past…
In the Future too – truth is really speculation.
So, why wouldn’t we always tell the truth?
FEAR!
Fear’s got to live in the future hasn’t it? Fear of the consequences of some action. “If I tell the truth then maybe X will happen and I am afraid of that so maybe I won’t tell the truth”.
So, not telling the truth because of fear of the consequences is our attempt to try and CONTROL the outcome. And our attempts at CONTROL arise from trying to ‘work things out’ which limits us to logical, rational thinking based on – yep you guessed it – THE PAST…
Ho hum… This is getting tricky!
Which means that if we don’t tell the truth because we are afraid of what the consequences might be and we try to ‘work it out’ instead based on what our experience of the world has been thus far (and how the world works) then we will be limiting ourselves to a fixed range of outcomes and denying TRUE possibility and hence simply re-creating and perpetuating the past PHEW…
Take a deep breath!
So FEAR and our inability to tell the truth about how we REALLY feel traps us in old ways of being and simply perpetuates the PAST hmmm….
Ever think “Why do I keep attracting the same partners, friends, life situations? This is just like ground hog day”
Have you been telling the truth? Or afraid that if you do you will lose your partner, friend, job etc etc ???
Would it be fair to say then that telling our heart felt truth with love and compassion is the fastest route to our own life path and opening our lives up to unimagined possibility?
Try it and see.
“When the mind runs too much of the show…
the spirit suffocates.”
Tony Robbins
The mind works in amazing ways but the key underlying operating system that it uses defines it as ‘a self organising patterning system’. In simple terms that means the mind is always looking for patterns in things and it organises those patterns itself – that is, without your executive assistance…
Meaning – the patterns that you get used to recognising become your habits and your habits then define your being - as Aristotle said
“Excellence is not an act, but a habit”
From a neuroscience perspective - neurons that fire together wire together - so if you repeatedly do the same things then you reinforce the neural networks around those behaviours. This includes patterns of thought and the behaviours associated with them.
Habits can be good, bad and a whole range in between. The kicker is – what are you actually creating in your life and are your habits serving you? If you’re happy with what you’ve got – great keep going! If not, maybe you need to practice some new habits?
This exercise is a variation on the one described in ‘Creating a Circle of Honour’. It’s an exercise in practicing outrageous abundance. Just like you might go to the gym to practice new exercises that strengthen various ‘real life’ activities – for instance you might go to the gym and do chin ups which translates into a real life activity of ‘pulling yourself up’ – you can use your imagination to practice what it is like to allow outrageous abundance into your life.
Also note the Tony Robbins quote above – thinking too much about how to do these things doesn’t necessarily make the result better. Note also Candace Pert’s work ‘Your Body is Your Subconscious Mind’ – training your body is a good way of training your subconscious mind. And finally note that the ‘self organising’ in your brain is not occurring as a result of your executive instruction but rather as a result of subconscious processes.
So back to the exercise.
Go down to the beach, off into the scrub – or at a pinch find a decent bit of floor space. Set your intention to draw/create a circle of abundance – make it as big or small as you feel.
When you are ready – step into the circle and sit in the middle. Focus on your breathing and calm your mind slowly bringing yourself completely into the moment and into the circle.
Now recognise that this is a circle of abundance. Feel the flow of abundance into the circle. Imagine that everything you want/desire is flowing easily and consistently into the circle.
How does it FEEL?
Do you have any RESISTANCE to it? This may be in the form of “Yes but…” if that is the case use the three Rs of creating what you want – Recognise, Release and Redirect. It’s all about focus remember? This is an imagination game – so play with it until you are comfortable.
Be GRATEFUL for the abundance you are receiving.
Set your INTENTION to be aligned with the flow of outrageous abundance when you step out of the circle.
Re-presence yourself and ACT as much as possible in alignment with the energy of outrageous abundance.
Practicing outrageous abundance is the same as going to the gym. Go once and you might just be a bit sore the next day. Go every week for a month and you may feel a little better but it’s not a habit yet. Go three times a week for three months and you’ll see notable results
Above all – don’t take it TOO seriously and enjoy the imagination game.
"Focus on the best in one another
by focusing on the best in you first."
I've been working at the local University tutoring students in Ethics and Sustainability and one of the by products of that has been that I've been going to my favourite coffee shop dressed in nice work clothes rather than my more usual relaxed gardening attire.
It's never ceased to amaze me how differently people treat me according to how I am dressed but I wonder how much of it has to do with the vibe I put out. Listening some more to the Abraham-Hicks recording of 'The Vortex' I'm impressed with the notion that 'feelings always come first' - FEEL first and then trust that the World fits around your vibration not the other way round.
So, who are you when you're naked?
Strip away the flash clothes, designer accessories, makeup and jewellery and what's left?
Peel another layer back as you remove the nice car and the big house and then yes - sitting in your little teepee in a small shawl who are you?
Which brings me to 'Pumping the I AM story'.
In the Vortex, Abraham encourages us to appreciate who we are right now so we can then allow the flow of love and abundance to flow to us.
Problem is I started the 'I am' story and quickly realised that my measure of self worth was related to my 'doings' rather than my 'being'.
Take away all of the kudos from doing and I was left with looking closely at my being and not necessarily appreciating my level of self judgement.
Without a level of self appreciation it becomes pretty hard to allow the flow of love and abundance to come to you because let's face it - you just don't believe you DESERVE IT!
So - yes - time to pump the 'I AM' story. Start with 'I appreciate all that I am right now and I choose to love and accept all of myself and allow love and abundance to flow easily into my life'.
Don't bother with criticism. Be gentle with yourself. Focus on what is right with naked and fully exposed YOU :)
And a reminder that if you are in the Southern Hemisphere, now is the time to prepare for Visioning.
The ideal time every year to do Vision Quest work is around the Spring Equinox - which is 23rd September. So in this month leading up to the Equinox it is time to reflect on the inner journey that you've been on through Winter and start to open yourself up to the new things coming into your life. Much in the same way as the plants are now awakening from their Winter slumber.
"Here's to the Crazy Ones. The misfits. The rebels. The trouble-makers.
The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently.
They're not fond of rules, and they have no respect for the status-quo.You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify, or vilify them.
About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things.
They push the human race forward. And while some may see them
as the crazy ones, we see genius.Because the people who are crazy enough to think
they can change the world - are the ones who DO!"
Apple Computers
I love this quote.
It has echos of George Bernard Shaw when he wrote,
"The reasonable man adapts himself to the World;
the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the World to himself.
Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man."
The problem is the when you setp off the train that is driving mainstream society and strike out passionately on your own - you may be left feeling isolated and alone. You may even turn to your old freinds and colleagues for support but since they are well and truly entrenched in the 9 to 5 or more like 8 to 6 merrygoround - you may be a little delusional in expecting them to provide you with support.
You must turn instead to the misfits and non-conformists as your new support network and embrace the wonder of technology to do this - that is - sign up for blogs, newsletters, join in discussions and other inspirational activities. So here's a few starters:-
The Art of Non Conformity [20]
Zen Habits [21]
The Four Hour Work Week - Tim Ferriss [23]
Escaping Mediocrity - Sarah Robinson [24]
Oh and don't forget to go out for coffee you never know who you might bump into :)
In peace and love always.
“Life is mainly froth and bubble
But two things stand like stone
Kindness in another’s trouble
And courage in your own.”
Anon
Last time I wrote this Blog I discussed working with cycles which turned out to be quite prophetic as it began for me a period of busyness that hasn’t allowed me to get back to this until now.
Hermetic Philosophy has seven principles, number five of which is ‘The Principle of Rhythm’
"Everything flows, out and in; everything has its tides;
all things rise and fall; the pendulum-swing manifests in
everything; the measure of the swing to the right is the
measure of the swing to the left; rhythm compensates."
The Kybalion
Within Western society though, our emphasis on science and it’s rational, often linear, take on the how the world works leads us to believe that we can project the past forwards into the future in a simplistic cause and effect way. Something that our basic hard wired brain structure supports as we subconsciously look for patterns in everything so we can make sense of the world and link what we are experiencing in the present moment to an anchor point from the past.
But is this real? And does reality truly manifest in a logical linear way?
I think not and I believe that it is often the inherent belief in a linear, rational world that brings us emotionally undone.
You see although we are growth seeking beings we inherently seek certainty and reason, rationality and logic provide that for us. If one plus one equals two then we figure that one plus one will always equal two. A change away from this unsettles us and throws us off balance.
Accepting that the workings of the world do not reflect our desire for safe comfortable linearly projected creation is a good starting point for embracing uncertainty and beginning to work with cycles.
If you can see the rhythm in things and accept that the world ‘flows’ – more like a tide rather than ‘rolls’ – like a ball down a hill – then you can begin to let go of trying to control the flow and instead begin the climb up the pendulum to the pivot point.
It’s not emotions and strong feelings that derail us – we should all seek to be fully emotionally expressive. Rather it is the reaction to our emotions and feelings that derails us. Recognising the beauty in uncertainty and the gift of being able to feel strongly is something that can be gained from a view point that takes in the whole of the pendulum rather than simply what is immediately in front of us.
“Life is either a daring adventure,
Or nothing.”
Helen Keller
I’ve been down in Melbourne for the last few days doing some work with clients there and it gave me the opportunity to catch up with an old friend and have some deeply philosophical discussions.
We got onto the topic of manifestation and how much control you really do have over what you can create in your life. Of interest is a book I am reading called “The Healing Wisdom of Africa – finding life purpose through nature, ritual and community” by Malidoma Patrice Some.
Malidoma is from the West African country of Burkina Faso and he belongs to the group of people called the Dagara. In his book Malidoma explains that the Dagara believe that each soul chooses the purpose of their life before they incarnate in this physical world. To find or connect to one’s life purpose therefore, the first and most logical step is to go and see a Shaman and communicate with the spirit guides and ask what path one should follow.
This point of view took us to the discussion of whether or not we actually have any choice or if our lives are preset by destiny. Interestingly we agreed that there is a pathway that our lives can follow and that this pathway leads one to ascension or enlightenment (note the word ‘can’).
The question is – and this is where self direction and self mastery comes in – how far we choose to go along that path in this lifetime. For some the answer may be zero. They may never feel any desire to shift from their current way of being and walk a path of expansion or ascension. Others, however, will strive to walk that path as quickly and as vigorously as possible – and here’s where the paradox lies…
Pushing against the World provides no short cuts – trying to ‘work it out’ and get there faster simply blinds us to the shortest and easiest path. (Not necessarily the least painful one!)
The trick is to stop resisting and surrender to the flow.
Imagine you’ve fallen into a raging river and you can hear a waterfall coming up. Terrified by visions of being plunged hundreds of feet to your death you clutch desperately to whatever bits of roots or twigs line the banks.
But imagine now if part of you chose to fall into the river before you were born, knowing that the fall over the waterfall wouldn’t kill you but would instead deliver you to a swimming pool of infinite beauty and abundance?
Imagine too that upon coming into this physical realm that memory was erased and the only way you could communicate with that part of yourself was through dreams, inspiration and intuitive hunches?
If you knew all that, could you trust yourself, let go of the bank and allow yourself to go with the flow, fully embracing whatever might come up?
So – fast path to ascension and enlightenment – set your intention to fully surrender and then ALLOW yourself to go with the FLOW. Swim fast with the current when it flows with you and hold tight when it flows against you. Recognise the changes in the tide and remember that some part of you knows what you need to do at every moment.
Believe in yourself and your ability to LIVE the life that you desired BEFORE you came into the physical realm.
What speeds you up is TRUTH, LOVE and GRACE. What slows you down is emotional attachment to a particular outcome and FEAR.
So, what’s next?
Part of you already knows so stop thinking, start feeling and embrace the adventure!
“Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit”
Aristotle
Last week I wrote about the notion of being aware of the stories that you tell about yourself and how that influences your expectations which in turn impacts on what you actually create. This week I want to look at how you actually do it – how do you CHANGE the story?
So, STEP 1 – yeah I got it – you’re not stupid!
Changing the story begins with CHOOSING to love yourself no matter what. No benefit can come out of beating yourself up, berating yourself or belittling yourself in any way. Failure is a necessary step on the way to success. The only bad mistakes you make are the ones you don’t learn from.
We are already healed and we are powerful beyond measure – we’ve just forgotten how to access that part of ourselves and there is a part in all of us that wants to hang onto the notion of victimhood. The way it does this is by holding onto the stories that support that particular view of the World.
Look at it from an energy management perspective.
Researchers say we think about 50-60,000 thoughts per day but most of us are having 90 – 95% of the same thoughts today as we had yesterday!!!
Neurons that wire together fire together.
We are what we believe.
We create our world through the stories that we tell and the expectations that breeds.
So, every day we have a bank of let’s say 50,000 thoughts. How would you like to spend that? Would you consciously allocate 10,000 thoughts to telling yourself what’s wrong with you?
AND importantly you should know that every thought sucks up some energy and every thought pattern has staked out some territory in YOUR brain.
Ha, ha yes imagine it as a battle between the thoughts for brain territory! Right now who’s winning in your brain? The thoughts that are aligned to what you want and how you want to BE or the thoughts that are aligned to what you’ve got and why you’re a victim and will never get what you want?
If it’s the latter then it’s war strategy time!
STEP 2 – break the pattern – neurons that have been firing together for a while have laid down a nice set of shiny train tracks that guide you along the pathway you’ve travelled many times over.
Can we put on the brakes?
The Buddha taught about samsaric loops – a cyclic existence of endless addiction to going round and round the same patterns. The solution? Break the pattern by stopping the flow. Samadhi meditation - single point meditation designed to still the mind. One focuses on the breath, a mantra or an image and simply allows other thoughts to flow through without grasping onto them and creating further thoughts.
By stopping the samsaric loops one allows the old patterns to arise and unwind creating the opportunity to BE in the present.
“We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts we make our world.”
Buddha
Carlos Castaneda wrote about his teacher Don Juan showing him how to stop his internal dialogue by walking along with his eyes out of focus whilst fixed on a point just above the horizon. The aim of this was to emphasize the peripheral view and in doing so overwhelm the tonal so that it was incapable of thinking other thoughts.
In Yoga one focuses on the breathing whilst holding poses that open energy centres. Whilst dancing or drumming one can also reach a state ‘beyond thinking’.
The point is that anything that takes all of your focus creates a doorway to a state of flow – the zone – where old stories can be starved of energy.
So, STEP 3 – create a daily practice – a habit – of getting beyond thinking.
Get used to stepping through the door and breaking the momentum of mindlessness.
“We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.”
Albert Einstein
“Where there is no vision, the people perish.”
Proverbs 29:18
A gentle prod to remind you that the next two weeks provide an ideal time to do strategic visioning for 2011 before the festive season begins.
What do you want for 2011?
Physically, Mentally, Emotionally, Spiritually and Materially – where do you wish to be this time next year?
How would it feel to achieve it?
What would it look like?
What are the key milestones along the journey?
For each project:-
1. Ideas – what ideas do you have for making it happen?
2. People – who needs to be involved? What support do you need?
3. Resources – what resources – money, information, equipment etc do you need?
4. Action – what specific actions will deliver the outcomes desired?
5. Breakdowns – what will you do if things go off track? how will you know?
If you want or need some help to guide you through the process/hold you to account/call you on your crap – book a Skype session by emailing me at skype@acping.net [25]
I’m off on holidays from December the 18th but until then I’ll give you the first hour FREE as my contribution to your success in 2011!
“If you fail to control your mind, you may be sure you will control nothing else. If you must be careless with your possessions, let it be in connection with material things. Your mind is your spiritual estate! Protect and use it with the care to which divine royalty is entitled. You were given a will power for this purpose.”
Napoleon Hill
If you have been following my work for a while you will know that one of the keys to Self Mastery is the ability to act with intention and without waiting for evidence to appear before you do so.
Consider the notion of 'being' and the 3 worlds in which we exist - the Past, the Present and the Future.
Most of us are living a reactive life, perpetually going around the Past/Present loop. When faced with a situation in the Present we look backwards to see how the new situation relates to our past experiences. We then choose from a range of options based on what has worked in the past - possibly we make small incremental improvements - then we bring that past pattern back into the Present.
Because of the way our brains are hard wired most of us are doing this about 90 -95% of the time. That means only 5 - 10% of the time are we truly creating something new. In my teachings I encourage people to shift this so that you are actively creating what you want about 1/3 of the time and the other 2/3 of the time incorporating the new into self serving habits and behaviours.
When we are going around in the Past/Present loop our actions are based on evidence and rational logical thinking. To step over into the Future/Present loop we need to act with no evidence.
What then holds us in this loop? And how might we bump up our meagre 10% to something more like 30%?
The answer is surprisingly simple - WILL
To create something completely new requires courageous action based on a clear and inspiring Vision for what you want and supported by WILLPOWER. Not others but yours.
So, how can you strengthen your will so that even when things aren't going your way or you are confronted by circumstantial challenges or unsupportive people - you can still find the courage to act?
The key is to exercise your will just as you would exercise your muscles.
You see Self Mastery is the battle of the Self versus the Self - the battle of the Spiritual Warrior.
If you want to create something new and challenging one part of you will be terrified by the prospect of stepping out of your comfort zone (the Past/Present loop and all of your old patterns and habits). Another part of you will be inspired by the prospect of creating your inspiring Vision.
Passion and desire will be challenged by rational, logical evidence based thinking that will seek at all times to draw you back into the old and comfortable ways of doing things.
Will is all about having the courage to hold yourself in the Future/Present loop and acting in alignment with this even whilst that little voice inside your head is telling you why you cannot do it.
Exercising the Will occurs at The Edge.
You can find the Edge when you push yourself out of your comfort zone. In Vipassana meditation retreats you do strong determination sessions where the aim is to remain still for an hour or so. When you do this inevitably you end up with pain arising in your back and legs and it is at this point that your rational mind will tell you and plead with you to MOVE!
Willpower holds you in it and stops you from moving. By exploring the Edge and holding yourself there for as long as possible you strengthen your Will so that when it comes to sticking your neck on the line and doing something that you really want to do you are able to hold yourself there - hold yourself IN ACTION despite the lack of evidence.
"It is because I say it is"
You don't need to go off and do a meditation retreat to exercise your Will. In the last post I wrote about acting with intention and this can be applied here.
Exercise of any form provides an opportunity to work at the Edge. When you go running and find yourself getting tired and want to stop - there is an opportunity to exercise Will. When you do Yoga and find pain whilst holding a pose - there is the opportunity to exercise Will. Breathe and hold - don't REACT - CHOOSE to ACT!
Check out this Will Smith interview http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OWAw7gxfB7Q&feature=related [26]
Whatever you do ACT courageously based on your dreams!
Let us collectively create a more loving and expansive World by rejecting the status quo and actively creating the new.
In peace and love always.
"Life without love becomes
Just a series of cold heartless transactions."
Thanks for all the feedback on 'The Not Good Enough Story' and no it's not factually a true story but yes it has been told many times to many children.
Following on from that post I got asked how exactly DO you retrain yourself to tell an 'I AM good enough story'.
So here goes - keep it simple -
STEP 1 - AWARENESS IS THE FIRST STEP TO HEALING
Listen to your inner voice and become aware of what story you are telling yourself. When you catch your critical inner voice telling you off write the story down on a piece of paper.
Look at the story on the paper - make a DECISION to let it go! Then ideally burn the piece of paper or if that means you are going to set something on fire or set off an alarm of some sort then simply throw it in a bin as far away from where you live as possible (that is consciously and practically rid the story from your life).
STEP 2 - FORGIVE YOURSELF
This is key. No matter how many times you catch yourself telling you the same old same old story adding to the hurt and anguish by beating yourself up is NOT going to help. No you are NOT a Loser you are simply HUMAN. So, just like Vipassana meditation - BE GENTLE!!! - laugh if you can...
It's ALL you - so try saying something like 'Even though part of me keeps telling myself a negative story about myself I'm going to FORGIVE and EMBRACE that part anyway'.
See the little kid in the school playground being mean but what he/she REALLY wants is a hug.
By forgiving yourself you create a space to enable you to move forwards.
STEP 3 - CHOOSE
Yeah CHOOSE - it's your life remember and you really are allowed to CHOOSE so CHOOSE to love yourself unconditionally and ALLOW abundance into your life. That means 'YES I am OK and YES I DO DESERVE abundance in LOVE, MONEY, HAPPINESS...'
STEP 4 - SET INTENTION
Now set your intention for how you want to BE.
Know that if Self Love goes down your inner critical voice says 'NOT GOOD ENOUGH and therefore you DON'T DESERVE whatever it is you want'. If this happens go back and repeat the process as many times as it takes.
Until you get to STEP 5 which is - RELAX - stop trying to find reasons why whatever you want is not happening and instead ACCEPT that it IS!
In Greek mythology there are five rivers that flow through the realm of Hades, the God of the dead. Before reincarnation souls are made to drink from Lethe, the river of forgetfulness, thus preventing them from remembering their past lives and their current life purpose.
Throughout history many spiritual teachers and philosophers have proposed that the key to finding meaning in life is to 'remember who we really are'. That there is in fact a part of ourselves that is somehow hidden from our conscious mind.
Martin Heidegger, the German ontological philosopher, used Lethe to symbolise the 'concealment of being' that he saw as the major problem in Philosophy. Heidegger believed that everything had essence but that essence was concealed from humans. Our task is to bring forth out of concealment and into truth.
Rudolph Steiner went further when he wrote,
"It is often asked why we do not know anything of our experiences before birth or after death. This is the wrong question. Rather, we should ask how we can attain such knowledge."
Many of us feel like we have 'been here before' and it is quite common for travellers to experience a de ja vu when visiting a place for the first time. Even more of us have felt the need to experiment with plants and other psychoactive substances. Is this yearning rooted in the deep seated knowledge that there is more to life than this physical reality that we can see, touch, smell, taste and hear? Does some part of us desire to reconnect with who we really are and to experience dimensions far richer than the current reality?
If this is truly the case - that we are here with a specific purpose - and that the key task to beginning the journey is to remember - then how would one do it?
STEP 1 - YOU CAN'T 'WORK IT OUT'
The first step in the process is to acknowledge that it isn't something we can 'work out'. In fact our rational mind may well be the thing that keeps us trapped within the limitations of our current reality. This is because of what Heidegger termed the 'concealment of being'.
Modern neuroscience reveals to us that the conscious mind is only able to process about 2000 bits of information per second whereas the total mind - subconscious and unconscious is processing something more like 4 billion.
What this means is that what you perceive reality to be creates your reality. So, the existential philosopher Descartes I think actually had it wrong when he wrote "Cognito Ergo Sum" - "I think, therefore I am". In fact it should be,
"I believe, therefore I am".
By believing reality to be a certain way your subconscious mind actively filters out anything that doesn't fit so the 2000 bits of information that your conscious mind gets will neatly reflect your fixed view of the World.
This is something that Shamans of various traditions have alluded to - the most well known of which is probably Don Juan, the Mexican Shaman Carlos Castaneda wrote about. In those books Don Juan repeatedly tells Castaneda that,
"Everything in sorcery rests on the manipulation of the assemblage point"
STEP 2 - YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHERE YOU ARE GOING
So, now you have released the belief that you can 'work it out' the next step is to become 'Comfortable in Uncertainty'.
The spiritual teacher Gurdjieff wrote,
"There are things for the understanding of which a different being is necessary."
Meaning - understanding is linked to being so you won't even be able to understand certain phenomena until your being has shifted.
The paradox here is that your being won't shift until you let go of your grip on the rational world and give yourself permission to become comfortable in uncertainty. In other words - the World is a mystery and we cannot hope to possibly comprehend it but we must not stop trying.
There is more to the World than you know so let go.
STEP 3 - ACT COURAGEOUSLY
Intuition is stupid and irrational, it makes us do silly things - BUT - and here's the key - it's tapping into a deeper knowledge than the rational mind and allowing yourself to listen and most importantly to ACT - can connect you with a deeper life path.
Life unfolds as we go along and it is only with the benefit of hindsight that events reveal their true meaning.
If you reflect now on the key events in your life that have led you to where you are now you may be able to identify three or four major turning points in your life.
Now ask yourself - did you plan for these events to occur?
Considering where you are now could you draw a line through time back to these events opening up the possibility that where you are now created those events in the past not vice versa?
If so could you now find the courage to let go of how you think things might turn out and instead embrace the moment and act courageously on your intuition?
If you can do these three things - Let go of the need to 'work it out'; Embrace uncertainty; and, Act courageously - then you are well on the way to remembering who you really are and open to walking a Sacred Path though life.
THE ROLE OF PLANTS
Throughout the ages many different plants have been used around the World to facilitate the process I have outlined above. These have included Marijuana, Peyote, San Pedro, Ayahuasca, and Fly-Agaric mushrooms - to name a few.
In my own journey I have spent quite a bit of time in Africa working with Sangomas, the traditional tribal healers or Shamans. Sangomas work quite a lot with medicinal plants which they call Mutis and it is the spirit of the plant that they focus on rather than the chemical substances.
To a Sangoma, the veil between this World and other realities is very thin. Plants open doors to other realities, they can drive away evil spirits, provide psychic and physical protection and also be the carriers of good or bad intentions.
The context of this article is The Art of Remembering Who You Really Are - so let's focus on that.
Sangomas believe that our ancestors come to us in our dreams to guide us in this life and our primary guide is usually our Grandfather. If you are lost in life, or are seeking guidance in some form, the first step is to work to open up the dreaming function so you can 'hear' clearly.
A mixture called 'Ubulawu' or White Light is used to do this. The primary ingredient is Silene Capensis and the effect is a dreamy state where the veil between the dream states and reality does indeed become thin.
I have experienced Ubulawu and other plant substances many times in different contexts and have a few points that I would like to share.
1. HONOUR THE PLANT
Plants have been here for much longer than we have. Their spirits are collective in that when you work with a plant you work with the spirit of all of the plants of that type.
When you choose to work with plants you are not just working with a chemical substance you are working with spirit. Any work done should therefore be done in ceremony where sacred space has been created and the plant has been honoured.
Honour in this sense begins with how the plant is grown and cared for and extends right through to how it is harvested and prepared. Honour the plant and it will honour you.
Above all - ask.
Plants like to help but they need to be asked.
2. INTENTION
Referring back to the process above for remembering who you really are, you will note that 'you can't work it out'. What you can do though is to set clear intention and this will act as a guide on the path that you go down.
If your intention is to 'experiment' then guess what? That's what you'll get.
If your intention is to work with the spirit of the plant to help you connect with who you really are then you will have a very different experience. You can't understand a different reality with your present state of being so letting go is key and this is where the process of honour and the creation of sacred space will allow this.
To powerfully work with intention also means to let go of your expectations of what you will get. I have worked with many people who were surprised by what resulted but elated by how their intentions were delivered to them.
3. INTEGRATION
If you have the nerve to ask then have the courage to act!
Working with plants can reveal many things to us and many alternate dimensions. The key though is that we have chosen to incarnate into this reality because here we have the opportunity to influence the physical World through the actions that we take.
If you choose to seek a Sacred Path in life then you must integrate the knowledge into this realm through taking courageous action.
In Africa the Sangomas believe that if you do not follow the advice of your ancestors then they will slowly withdraw their support from you until this life becomes so painful and desperate that you will again seek their guidance. Alternatively they may give you a 'knock on the head' to get your attention.
Either way it is a warning to be wary because to walk a Warrior's path requires spiritual courage.
On that note I will leave you with a quote from Gurdjieff,
"Knowledge by itself does not give understanding...
Understanding depends on the relation to being."
In peace and love always.
(this article appears in the Journal for the 2011 Entheogenesis Australis Conference)
“Neurons that fire together wire together”
It occurred to me as I wrote the title for this blog that it could just as easily mean a diet based on fear – that is – buy into and repeat your fears to yourself as often as possible and hey presto watch the weight fall off as you worry yourself to thinness…
Which brings to our attention a couple of salient points 1. That mental exercise does burn up an amazing amount of energy – estimates are that the human brain is about 4% of body mass but consumes about 17% of energy 2. That once you get on that fear treadmill it’s hard to get off it – hence the quote above about neurons that fire together wire together.
From a neuroscience perspective there is always a battle for brain ‘real estate’ so for example if you break your arm and have it in a cast for 6 weeks then when you have the cast removed your arm feels pretty weird. This is because whilst your arm has been immobilised it hasn’t needed all that brain space so some other function takes over the brain territory. In other words – use it or lose it.
In his book ‘The Brain that Changes Itself’, Norman Doidge cites examples of new treatments for stroke victims where they actually restrict the use of the good side and force the patient to use the immobilised side. By stimulating the nerve endings it encourages the brain to allocate some ‘territory’ to that function.
So, what’s that got to do with fear?
Well, my theory is that just as physical functions take up brain territory so do behaviours. So if you have a learnt behavioural pattern that you continually repat then you are reinforcing the neural networks every time you run through the pattern.
Fear versus Courage really is a battle. A battle for brain territory.
Oh, and one more point to slip in there – focussed emotionally charged attention is the energy that feeds and reinforces these neural networks – doesn’t matter if it’s positive attention or negative attention.
So – focus on the fears and doubts and you reinforce the neural networks around them. Call yourself an idiot for doing that and you feed more emotional charge and reinforcement into the neural networks. Keep saying “No don’t do that!” and yep – more emotional charge and stronger neural networks.
More fear – more brain territory – less space for courageous self affirming behaviours.
Solution?
Starve your fears! Put them on a diet!
Make a conscious choice – “I choose to put my fears on a diet”
Develop interruptive behaviours and thought patterns and as you find yourself slipping into fear based thinking or behaving then automatically press play on the interruptive behaviour.
For example, if you know that you often come home from work, flop down on the couch and then slowly feel yourself sinking into a depressive spiral then recognise the behavioural pattern. Coming home from work – opening apartment door and realising that you are alone (trigger 1) – flopping down on the couch etc
Interruptive behaviour could be – phoning a friend, going for a walk or a run, doing yoga, contemplating a jigsaw puzzle, reading a book… even better – keep some juggling balls handy and start learning how to juggle – engage your brain in another activity!
Anything that will interrupt the behavioural pattern and stop you from feeding your fears.
So, recognise the behavioural steps that lead you to where you don’t want to be and decide right now that when the first trigger point occurs – without thinking about it – start the prearranged behavioural pattern.
Another example – you are terrified of public speaking as I used to be…
The thought of getting up to speak gets you sweating. Then you can’t breathe. Then you start visualising everything going wrong and making a fool of yourself…
Starve your fear. Don’t allow any energy to go to it. A great interruptive behaviour and good warm up for public speaking is blowing up a balloon 10 times in a row – yeah try it…
Focusing on the balloon stops you focussing on the fear part of speaking.
Persistently focusing on starving your fears of energy and attention means that they will slowly lose their power over you and slowly lose their grip on precious brain territory.
Try it! Put your fears on a diet!
“The great epochs of our lives are the occasions
when we gain the courage to rebaptise our
evil qualities as our best qualities.”
Nietzsche
The pain and disharmony that we feel in life arises from our inability to accept and love ourselves for EXACTLY who we are. Before we gain the ability to hide away in our heads and process everything, suppressing what we really feel, we were once, as children, a free flowing emotional being.
Somewhere along the way though we were told that something we felt was not right – not valid. We were told by those who pretended to know better – the adults. We were told to suppress our feelings.
What is your invalidated emotion that causes the internal conflict between wanting to feel it and denying your right to do so that results in the erroneous belief that “There’s something wrong with me”?
Did it originate with a painful emotional experience between the ages of 2 and 6 thereby lodging it deep in the subconscious to play out as a self destructive adult behaviour?
Could you go back and validate the emotion felt by the inner child and allow it to release the belief that “I’m not OK”?
"Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding."
Khalil Gibran
William grew up in the 70's in America and although he never wanted for much his parents weren't what you'd call well off. In fact William's father worked hard as a factory foreman taking every opportunity to work any extra hours so that he could tuck away some cash for his children's education.
He saw that the managers above him had all been to college and as he got older they just seemed to get younger and younger. It grated with him and as the anger grew within him he set his mind to make sure that his children would rise above his status in life.
He pushed William and his younger sister Kate as hard as he could never wanting them to be satisfied with the life that he led. With the best of good intentions he wished them to be better than him. When they did well at sport he urged them to go that extra step. When they came in the top few students at school he berated them for not being the best student. He did his best to make sure that William was tough. He reasoned that to succeed in life a man had to be able to ride the knocks and bumps and be able to bounce back up never taking time to wallow in self pity or deep emotions.
As time passed William did go off to College and although his Dad was so very proud of him he resisted the urge to tell him, fearing that William would be satisfied with where he had got to rather than continue along the path to success.
Graduating top in his year William's life seemed to be on the fast track but then he met Susan and fell deeply in love. Suddenly William was happy just to be where he was. The desire to please his Father that had driven him onwards faded into the background and although William and Susan were happy and had three children of their own, financial success eluded them.
Soon, the new generation reached high school and within the first few weeks of term William's oldest son Joshua was suspended from school for bad behaviour.
William was furious and that night he let Joshua know it. Joshua's failure pressed a button within him that unleashed his repressed anger and as if in a dream he heard himself telling Joshua that he had let him down and that what he had done was not good enough.
As he spoke the words memories flooded back to him of his Father saying exactly the same thing to him. Realisation floated into his consciousness that he had spent most of his life trying to please his Father and gain recognition and acceptance. Suddenly all was put into perspective - the message that had been tattooed into his brain was 'Nothing you do is good enough'.
He searched back through the past and saw how that message had acted as a virus in his life. How it had blocked the flow of abundance to him. No matter what he did he felt that his efforts had been not good enough and so he felt he did not deserve to receive the rewards of abundance.
The very thing that his Father had sought to achieve had been pushed away by the deeply ingrained message of 'You're not good enough'.
As if struck by lightning William was silenced.
He looked upon his young son anew. He saw how his son was devastated by what he had done. How disappointed he was with himself.
He reached forwards and drew his son to him.
"Joshua, my beautiful son, I love you and believe in you with all of my heart. No matter what you do I will always love you unconditionally. Please forgive me for my anger and lets you and I work out what it is that you want and how we can work on creating that future together."
Be careful what message you pass on to your kids and know that everything is perfect right now.
“Only those courageous enough to stand up for their ideals will shape the future.”
If you haven’t already guessed I’ll confess and tell you that I’m an idealist
I believe that we can create a World where there is NO war.
I believe that we can live in harmony with the other creatures on the planet.
I believe that we can live in harmony with the Earth in a sustainable way.
I don’t understand why we even build things that kill people especially bombs that kill lots of people.
I don’t get why some people are so keen to destroy the Earth and its environment especially when doh – unless someone isn’t telling us – we don’t have cities on other planets to run off to.
I don’t get what would possess anyone to kill something as amazingly beautiful as a whale. Surely they should go swimming with some so they can get up close and personal eyeball to eyeball?
I know I could slip very easily into judgement about all this – to damn those people who do this as un-enlightened, un-educated, stupid even. But this of course would trap me in that story and have me play the opposing role for them so they can continue to do what they are doing.
Instead I’d like to believe that all of this is a battle between FEAR and GREED on the one hand and LOVE and COURAGE on the other.
Fear and greed will make us afraid of others and ourselves. Petty in the way that we choose to interact with the World – ‘Why should I put down my gun – someone else might pick it up’, ‘Why should I stop polluting the environment when others aren’t – I will miss out’.
Fear and greed will have us buying into the story that humans at their core are bad. That the human race must be controlled because without control they will descend and the worst elements of humanity will come out.
Love and courage allows us to step into a bigger space. To forgive ourselves and others for our failings. To see the brighter side of human nature. To focus on the positive and believe that we can be courageous enough to stand up for our ideals.
On the train to the future the idealists are at the very front of the train forging a way forwards. Without them we would still have slavery, women would still be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen, forests would be cut down, whales would be extinct…
At the back of the train are the – so called – realists – probably sitting in the club car smoking stogies doing deals – like why climate change shouldn’t be addressed because it will destroy the economy – just like they once argued that abolishing slavery would have the same effect.
I believe that as the Universe expands human consciousness expands.
I believe that love is a higher vibration than fear and that therefore to expand and ascend the pathway to the future is clear.
To change the World we must begin within – change ourselves. Find our own loving sacred pathway through life. Bring love into every aspect of our lives and trust – as quantum physicists tells us – that we are all interconnected and each one of us influences the whole.
The Sacred Path School is dedicated to this task. To sharing information, techniques and practices that will empower us to walk a Sacred Path through life.
I have started an open Facebook page for The Sacred Path School and invite you to join.
Soon we will also have a website with online courses in life visioning, self mastery and walking a scared path.
Join me at the front of the train because I believe the time for a quiet but paradigm shifting social revolution is now. And yes – you have probably worked this out but don’t tell them – the club car may be a long way behind the front of the train but eventually it DOES get pulled in the same direction.
“Everyone thinks of changing the world,
but no one thinks of changing himself.”
Leo Tolstoy
Oh yes it’s the dreaded ‘THEY’ again, those people out there that rule the World and control all manner of things that keeps all of ‘US’ in a permanent state of oppression and powerlessness.
So, gather around and quickly read this before ‘They’ shut down this page, take down this site or heaven forbid pull the plug on the Internet ala Egypt…
The secret – Part 1 - YOU create what you believe you deserve, Part 2 - YOU decide what you believe you deserve (that means THEY don’t!!), Part 3 – Collectively WE decide what WE deserve (that is, WE create OUR world).
So, to change the World – start WITHIN - change what you believe you deserve.
How? I hear you scream…
Recognise that everything is energy – check with the Quantum Physicists – the modern day guru’s of shamanic science. They will tell you that the wave form breaks down through observation – that simply paying attention creates the particle form.
So – pay attention to what you are paying attention to!
‘THEY’ would like us to pay attention to FEAR and SEPARATION. Leading you to thoughts of inadequacy and promoting you to desperately want to FIT IN and toe the line so you can feel SAFE knowing that THEY are protecting you from all the bad people and bad things out there…
Pay attention to FEAR and SEPARATION and you will see it in terrorism, violence, greed, oppression, scarcity and so on.
Pay attention to LOVE and UNITY and you will see it in acts of kindness, the beauty in nature, the gifts in your life, the people in the World working and acting for peace and FREEDOM.
Which brings us back to the how again…
“And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the sameAs we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.”
Marianne Williamson
Some of us can get up and go off to foreign countries to fight for freedom. Some of us can sign up to go anti whaling with Greenpeace. Some of us can volunteer to save the orang-utans in Borneo.
But all of us can CHOOSE to love ourselves UNCONDITIONALLY. To let go of the bullshit LIE that we are born sinners and UNWORTHY.
ALL of US can CHOOSE to embrace our LIGHT and CHOOSE to change the story of what we deserve from life by shifting our beliefs about who we are.
ALL of US can CHOOSE to release our fears and be BRAVE enough to be who we really are.
ALL of US can CHOOSE to pay attention to the great blessings in our own lives and the amazing planet on which we live.
ALL of US can CHOOSE to release the fear that we are powerless and instead to step into our POWER and take responsibility for changing the World for the better.
"We only understand the world through language,
and the writer is at the centre of our understanding of the world,
and our ability to change the world."
Fatima Bhutto
Over the years I’ve found it interesting to ask authors why they write and more often than not the response is “I just had to get it out of me, put it down on paper, give it life.”
I’ve heard it said that we all have at least one book inside of us and I don’t disagree. For me, I’ve found over the years that the more I write the more I need to write. It’s kind of a portal that’s been opened up in the top of my head and now that it is open it has no intention of closing.
About 10 years ago I wrote the book ‘BE’ because I’d spent months sitting in the Drakensberg mountains watching sunsets and talking about life with a great friend Dorle. When Dorle left to go back to Germany she asked me to ‘write it all down’ and so several months later, finding myself in far north Queensland, I did just that.
The journey since has been interesting to say the least. BE was originally published in a small run with a friend of mine and when we sold all the copies I approached Penguin who published BE and the follow up book DO together. Penguin then went on to sell the international rights and when the third book in the series FAITH was published in 2006, Marlowe & Co. in New York took over the publishing duties.
Since 2006 I’ve written a book about my experiences in South Africa pursuing my dream of creating a retreat space and what it was like to live amongst the Zulu people. The book explores African Shamanism and is called ‘A Place Where You May Find Peace’.
From that experience I had a dose of how to deal with FEAR and hence as art follows life I wrote a book called ‘FEAR’ which explores the darker side of life.
In the last three years I have had the opportunity to revisit all of my experiences over the last 20 years or so and to reflect on the philosophy in the books. In working with people one on one I recognised that there was a need to put together a program and a resource book that would support people to actually live what they had learnt. Yes – Walk the Talk!
The book that came out of that is called ‘The Self Mastery Toolbox’.
For the last few months I’ve been wondering what to do with these three books as I recognised that the whole platform for publishing was shifting and to my mind will inevitably move to an electronic format.
Then, as is often the way, a friend of mine brought Smashwords to my attention. It’s a site that allows you to upload E books and have them distributed in a multitude of formats.
And about the same time another person pointed out that the 3 books also formed a Trilogy – an Experiential Trilogy - that very logically followed on from the Foundation Trilogy of BE, DO and FAITH.
So, I invite you to visit my Smashwords page http://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/acping [27]
And to download the new books as they become available. At the time of writing the first two have been converted and ‘The Self Mastery Toolbox’ will be available soon.
And to all the people who have supported my work over the years I thank you from the bottom of my heart as I feel incredibly blessed to be able to follow my passions and write and share the gifts that come to me.
"Look into the World and you will see yourself staring back at you."
I guess you might have figured by now that the last few posts have had a common theme running through them?
Years ago when I learnt to do metta meditation (loving kindness meditation), the mantra that stuck in my head was 'There is no I, there is no me, there is no my'.
To do metta the aim is to release all attachment to separation and simply to project love out into the World. When I teach people how to do metta I get them to connect with their bodies, focus on their chakras one by one, then see themselves in a cocoon of unconditional loving blue light. You can try it yourself, and if you prefer a quantum physics perspective then acknowledge that a quantum field links us all together so somewhere in there you can dictate what your 'space' is.
My 'space' is an egg shaped cocoon of energy that encompasses my body and extends about an arm's length in every direction.
Once you have connected with your 'space' fill it up with blue light - unconditionally loving energy. Feel and visualise the blue light purging all other dark energies and blocks out of your space.
When you have your space under control then you can move outwards. Always good to do this as I really believe we should sort our own shit out first before we start projecting our issues onto everyone else. A torch or car headlight that has a bit of poo on it projects a shadow onto what it is pointed at...
Anyway, radiate the blue light out and fill up the room you are in. Sweep down and into the corners especially pushing the dark energy out like an energetic broom. When you can feel and visualise the whole room full of radiant blue loving light then move out to the rest of the house. Go room to room just like you would if you were cleaning. Push all the dark crap out an open window or door. Then move outside to your garden and the borders of your property. When you have done that sit for a bit holding loving space for all of the plants and giving thanks for all that you have.
And so now you are ready to let go of your attachment to you. Imagine floating up now and then when you are above your house radiate your blue light energy out in every direction - repeating in your mind 'There is no I, there is no me, there is no my. May all beings experience true love and compassion'.
See your radiant blue light enveloping the globe. Flowing down and across mountains, into the most impoverished areas of the World, into the hearts of those experiencing conflict, into the lives of those who are at War. 'There is no I, there is no me, there is no my. There is only us. May all beings experience true love and compassion.'
Become aware now that as you are doing this there are a whole lot of other people out there all around the World doing metta meditation at EXACTLY the same time as you!
Link your loving energy to theirs. See the unconditional love criss crossing the globe raising the loving vibration of the planet.
Everything is you and you are everything so CHOOSE. HOW do you want it to be?
I want love to be all powerful! I choose to hold that space and align with that vibration.
Sit in that space for as long as you can then choose to leave your loving blue light energy enveloping the planet and slowly bring your own personal energy back towards you. Back over the oceans, over the mountains and back to your own space. Settle back into your energetic sphere and see it filled with pure white light.
Choose now to remember that you are not separate, you are not alone.
Give yourself permission to be exactly who you are. To love yourself for exactly who you are. Choose to love others for exactly who they are. Set your intention to focus on everything that is right with the World.
In peace and love always.
“He who controls the present controls the past
and he who controls the past controls the future.”
George Orwell
A couple of nights ago I woke from a deep sleep in the middle of the night to the sound of a car horn blaring. I lay there for a while waiting for the owner to turn it off and when that didn’t happen I decided I’d better get up and do something about it.
Opening the front door I was confronted by deep orange flames reaching high into the still night sky. My brain, still vague from sleep, struggled to understand what was going on so I cautiously edged down the driveway to take a closer look.
The image that confronted me was so far outside my frame of reference that I wondered if I was still dreaming because there before me was a car with flames coming out of its windows. As if on cue one of the windows exploded with a load bang, shattering glass at my feet, and to signal the car’s demise the horn slowly lost its tone and descended into silence.
Without a breath of wind, and now with no blaring horn, the only sound left was the roaring of the flames and the now, more frequent, explosions as various bits of the car decided to depart with a bang.
It took me a while to relate what I was seeing before me with something vaguely connected and sadly (fortunately?) the closest I could get was a movie scene.
“What happens next?” I wondered, scrolling back through my memories and then hitting play in my mind until I could see the scene where, yes, next frame the car explodes! Ooops time to head inside and call the fire brigade!
In due course they did arrive and put the car out but it left me deeply disturbed and wondering what had happened to my peaceful seaside village.
We humans have an amazing ability to adapt. I remember living in South Africa, a country which unfortunately has a recent history of violence. After being there for a while it was nothing to hear of car jackings and even home invasions – they were just common place. Even when one of the local farmers was hacked to death with a panga (bush knife) by his garden boy it was met with nods of acknowledgement and reluctant acceptance that this was the environment we were living in.
So, what have you adapted to that you might not accept if you looked upon it with fresh eyes? In the World for some bizarre reason we have accepted that we are destroying the environment. We have adapted to a way of living that is killing our planet and despite all of the evidence our leaders still find it all too hard to change.
Why?
“Never doubt the power of a simple revolutionary idea to create a better world”
We’ve just adapted that’s all.
If I lived in a war torn country I might wake up in the night, see a car on fire and simply dismiss it as ‘normal’. But would it be ok?
Here in my community we saw it as being totally unacceptable and immediately there was action to do something about it. This was not going to become the ‘norm’ for the future. Steps would be taken to rectify this abnormality.
Why is this not happening on a global scale?
What is our collective Vision for the future?
What is your Vision for the future?
What has become ‘normal’ in your World that is totally out of alignment with what you really want?
What are you going to do about it?
“Never let fear win in any part of your life or it will take hold and permeate through your whole life”
Recently I have had the great privilege of running some workshops on Ethics and Sustainability for University students and I have been struck by a sense of powerlessness in the face of some of the great problems facing the world today.
I guess in the age of distraction in which we live it is often easier to lose oneself in the daily barrage of text, email, twitter, Facebook and You tube, only coming up for air to sleep a little before beginning it all over again. All the while being and living in the comfort of a story that goes something like “Yeah the world is fu*#@ed [28] but what can we do about it anyway…”
Understandable given the deflation that comes from watching World leaders gather in Copenhagen to discuss climate change only to come away from it with a few extra frequent flier miles and a pocket full of business cards. Oh, and a carbon footprint the size of Alaska…
So, here we are in this age of distraction.
What must we do?
Ethics is all about asking the question of ‘What is a good life and how ought we to live?’
We all have a good idea of how to answer this question but few of us are able to deconstruct our thinking enough to get to the root of the issues and actually argue a point. All too easy to just let others run the World but then again that leaves us with Copenhagen…
So… feeding into this core question are three other questions: What’s right? – in terms of a black and white idealistic view of the world; What’s good? – in terms of what would be a good outcome; and, What’s fitting? – in terms of what is culturally fitting.
Idealists stand in the ‘What’s right’ box.
“I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal."
Martin Luther King Jr.
“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams”
Eleanor Roosevelt
“My freedom cannot be separated from your freedom.”
Nelson Mandela
Consequentialists stand in the ‘What’s good’ box. They are focussed on the outcomes and are always trying to calculate the plusses and the minuses and then make a decision on how to act. They are not so keen on ideals but more on self interest. As the underlying philosophy for free markets, money and the accompanying cost benefit equation is always present. Reason and justification are key.
“We're sorry for the massive disruption it's caused to their lives… There's no one who wants this thing over more than I do, I'd like my life back”
BP CEO Tony Hayward on the Oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico
"The ocean will take care of this on its own if it was left alone and left out there.
It's natural. It's as natural as the ocean water is."
Rush Limbaugh, May 3, 2010, on the BP Oil Spill
"Without countries like the US, China or India, making decisive commitments, UK competitiveness will undoubtedly suffer if we act alone. This would be bad for business, bad for the economy and ultimately bad for our climate."
Miles Templeman, Director-General of the UK Institute of Directors
The ‘What is fitting?’ question is the cultural context. Fifty years ago no one had heard of climate change, we smoked inside, women bathing topless were arrested, we smacked our kids and we could burn off our own rubbish.
In trying to decide how we ought to live we juggle these three questions. However, if there was a train heading off into the future then at the head of the train would be the idealists. They push the boundaries of society outwards by standing up and fighting for ideals.
“A value isn’t a value unless you are willing to pay a price to uphold it”
The consequences of their actions are long term and the price they sometimes pay is high.
But the results change the world.
“Conformity is the jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth.”
John F. Kennedy
“I don’t have to be what you want me to be. I am free to be what I want.”
Muhammad Ali, Feb 25th 1964, speaking to reporters after defeating Sonny Liston to become the heavyweight boxing champion of the world. In reference to dropping his slave name Cassius Clay and becoming Cassius X
At the foundation of ideals are values like – freedom, equality, justice, love, respect, compassion.
Talk is cheap so Values must move from head to the hand. From thinking to doing.
“Character is action.”
F. Scott Fitzgerald
Through taking actions aligned to our values we become that person. From doing to being. From the hand to the heart.
Power is given to the idealist through the use of will.
“Courage is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities
because it is the quality which guarantees all others.”
Winston Churchill
At the back of the train though are the consequentialists. The cynical part of me would say that they are sitting in the club car smoking cigars making deals.
They argue from the basis of reason. Reason that allows for the compromise of ideals and the values that underpin them. It’s wrong to kill people but it’s ok in Iraq and Afghanistan. It’s wrong to destroy the environment and take away the well being of future generations but it costs too much to do something now. We’d like to do something about climate change but others won’t so why should we.
“An eye for an eye ends up making the whole world blind.”
Gandhi
If you did a survey of everyone in the World and asked them: “In an idealist black and white world of right and wrong is it right to kill people?” I’d bet that apart from a few crazies you’d get an overwhelming response in the negative.
So, what stops us from going there?
Are we afraid to dream of the possibility of a world where there is no war?
“Imagine all the people
Living life in peace”
John Lennon
In our discussions at the University it came down to FEAR of the consequences. FEAR that if we don’t have the guns and the bombs and the boats and the submarines and the jets and the helicopters then someone else might come and take what we have.
So, somewhere in the middle of the train is the ‘fitting’ carriage. Full of all the people that are living in the context created by the battle between the idealists and those who would claim to be the ‘realists’. Trapped in this carriage are many people tied to the story of powerlessness unsure whether to move forwards or back.
Will versus Reason.
Love and Courage versus Fear and Greed.
Would you aspire to live in a better world and do something about it by acting on your heart felt values?
Could we eliminate fear by spreading love?
What if everyone was doing what they loved to do? What if everyone had the courage to align their actions with their values? To align their head and hands with their heart.
What a wonderful world it would be.
“Almost everything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. Be the change you wish to see in the world.”
Gandhi
“Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”
Martin Luther King Jnr
OK so once you’ve given up on the notion of being a powerless victim and have decided that you’d like to have a say in the World and the creation of our collective future next step is to decide the most important issues.
In talking with the Uni students I mentioned in the last post, at the top of the list was War followed by Climate Change in a close second.
Let’s start with War then.
So pull on your idealist hat and imagine the World as you would wish it to be…
Surely NO WAR would be an ideal to aim for. NO WAR in Israel/Palestine. NO WAR in Iraq. NO WAR in Afghanistan. NO WAR in Africa. NO WAR in the World!
“Imagine all the people.
Living life in peace.”
John Lennon
So – can you? I mean can you imagine all the people living life in peace?
My Uni students couldn’t…
They said they’d like to – “But what about terrorists?” they asked “What about bad people?”
Ah yes – good old FEAR ! – FEAR of the consequences…
Put that idealist hat back on!
From a Values based idealist perspective, War ties into violence, oppression, control. By seeking to oppress and control people through violence it violates their right to freedom and self determination.
“But some people SHOULD be controlled!” I hear you scream.
And here lies the rub… You see if we had complete faith in human nature then we could stand in the space of “Everyone wants to live in peace and harmony – given the right opportunity”
From a FEAR based perspective I’ve got to admit that I kind of like the whole idea of some global elite running the show and keeping all of the BAD people under CONTROL.
But then again, that totally blows apart the whole notion of equality and the ability of ALL of us to ascend spiritually.
“We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Marianne Williamson
“You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.”
Mahatma Gandhi
In one of Carlos Castaneda’s books the old sorcerer Don Juan suggests that a Warrior should never defend one’s self only protect one’s self. It’s a fine line – stand up for your ideals but don’t just blindly REACT to someone else’s taunts.
From an energy – Quantum Physics/Shamanic Manifestation – perspective it’s interesting because if we can’t hold the dream – the belief – then we can’t create it.
As long as we buy into the notion that a World free of War isn’t possible then we can’t and won’t create it. But wouldn’t you like to live in it? And, wouldn’t you like your kids and grandkids to live in it?
“We must not, in trying to think about how we can make a big difference, ignore the small daily differences we can make which, over time, add up to big differences that we often cannot foresee.”
Marion Wright Edelman
So – back to Change the World Step 1
Remember Values are about Head – Hand – Heart
Thinking to Doing to BEING.
Hold a Vision of a World where there is NO WAR only peace.
You are not powerless. You are not a victim.
Drop the crappy story that starts with “If only… then I could…”
Be courageous enough to embrace the POSSIBILITY. You, me, WE - DON’T need to know HOW - WE just need to begin to BELIEVE.
Next – DO PEACE – go back to the post ‘Creating a Circle of Honour’. Eliminate oppression, violence, aggression, control through FEAR of the consequences – from your circle and from your life. Make sure you don’t support violence, oppression and War in any way whatsoever. Don’t work for companies that make guns or bombs, don’t inadvertently invest in them through your bank or retirement funds
Then – BE PEACE.
You, me, WE – BE PEACE.
What a wonderful world it would be!
"Revenge is a dish best served cold"Anon.
“An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind”
Mahatma Ghandi
In announcing the death of Osama Bin Laden, US President Barack Obama was very clear about why it had happened:-
“...as a country, we will never tolerate our security being threatened, nor stand idly by when our people have been killed. We will be relentless in defence of our citizens and our friends and allies. We will be true to the values that make us who we are.
And on nights like this one, we can say to those families who have lost loved ones to al Qaeda's terror, justice has been done.”
“It’s all about the code brother” Vin Diesel’s character says in Fast and Furious 4.
So, what’s your code and how do you justify your actions?
Ghandi proposed peaceful resistance. Something that Martin Luther King Jnr. also advocated.
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
Martin Luther King Jnr.
How much of this is fantasy and how much reality?
Could the USA have simply sat back and peacefully resisted Al Qaeda or did they need to go after them?
Nelson Mandela is lauded as a man of peace but as a young man, frustrated by the lack of progress in changing the apartheid system in South Africa, he established Umkhonto we Sizwe (MK), translated as "Spear of the Nation". It was the armed wing of the African National Congress and Mandela was trained in guerrilla warfare tactics. In 1961 MK was declared a terrorist organisation by South Africa and the United States and banned.
It’s interesting to speculate about what would have happened if they had gone and killed Mandela after they found him as this is the same justification for killing Bin Laden.
We can never know the future but one thing is for certain and that is our actions speak louder than words and the consequences reverberate through the ages.
Western leaders are now warning about reprise attacks by Al Qaeda operatives which, of course, they would justify by claiming revenge for the killing of Bin Laden.
I’m sure US Leaders would now claim that we are even and hence all hostilities should stop – and there’s the rub.
You see with regard to game theory, the strategy ‘tit for tat’ has almost always been the winner in competitions. But Tit for Tat depends on four conditions:-
The problem is – who decides when the ‘tit’ equals the last ‘tat’?
And what sort of World does this leave us with?
If you have kids you might have found yourself in the same situation with each party claiming that the other started it and that whatever has happened since has left them somehow the loser. The get out of jail answer is “I don’t care who started it just get over it and move on”.
Hmmm...
I guess the key in the tit for tat conditions is that the competition doesn’t end. Just like life eh? At the end of the day we all have to continue to live together don’t we – despite various predications of Armageddon it hasn’t happened yet has it?
So, what’s your code?
At some stage someone has to take the lead and instead of RE-ACTING to others simply decide what VALUES and PRINCIPLES they wish to live by in an IDEAL world and start living them ala Nelson Mandela. 27 years later he got some justice didn’t he?
“All the lessons of history in four sentences: Whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad with power. The mills of God grind slowly, but they grind exceedingly small. The bee fertilizes the flower it robs. When it is dark enough, you can see the stars. “
Charles A. Beard
“A Warrior makes their own mood”
My daughter started school this year but after the initial excitement wore off she didn’t want to go. Thinking this was just a normal adjustment after the holidays I went along with her to encourage her to see the good side of school. But after sitting with her cutting up some fruit for morning tea my attention was drawn to a rather large boy roaring like a lion and running about the play area terrorising the other kids. Needless to say my daughter clung tightly to me and begged me to take her home.
I’ve written before about the ability to ‘hold space’ and how true power comes from being able to proactively determine your own mood rather than react to what someone else is doing.
It’s easy to intellectualise all this stuff but how do you do it and more particularly how do you teach a young child to do it?
All learning is simply remembering so if that’s the case how about we just ask some really good questions that will prompt the remembering?
So – here’s a game we play.
If she gets upset in the morning thinking about going to school I ask her
“Who decides what mood you’re in?”
“Do I decide? Does Mum decide? Does your teacher decide? Do the other kids decide? If they tell you to be in a bad mood will you do that?”
Eventually, of course she snaps out of her crying and starts thinking about what mood she actually wants to be in and then she starts to step into her power and to actively begin to hold space.
So, who decides what mood you’re in?
Before you get out of bed in the morning take a few moments to DECIDE what mood you want to be in and to set INTENT for the day.
Mostly I’ve found people’s intentions don’t vary too far away from being calm, peaceful, focused and relaxed.
Once you’ve done that then work at it during the day to make sure you hold that space. Be aware of the person who cuts you off in traffic and others who may tempt you to lose your cool but don’t let them spoil your day simply ACKNOWLEDGE and REFOCUS.
“Oh geez that person really upset me however my intention for today is to be calm and peaceful and so I CHOOSE to make my own mood”
Note here that I’m not suggesting you REPRESS your emotions. Don’t become like a pressure cooker about to blow your lid.
ACKNOWLEDGE – I feel ….
And REFOCUS – however this is what I want and this is what I CHOOSE
A simple question with a powerful result.
Who decides what mood you’re in?
"Always be. Never try to become.
You can be anything you want, just don't work at becoming.
Remember to be it."
Sitting in Melbourne with a great friend he explained to me that he was working on a deal that would net him many millions of dollars. "Wow, then you'll be a multi millionaire" I exclaimed, "I am already" was his dead beat reply.
And there's the rub. Doesn't matter what you want to achieve or what you want to have the trick to getting it is to change your BEing first. If you sit around waiting for something to happen BEFORE you will alter your way of being then by definition you confine yourself to what you have already.
The key here is resonance. We live in a multi dimensional quantum world. All around us, all the time is a quantum field that links us to everything else and everyone else. What you resonate with in the field comes to you. How you resonate is by what you think and feel. Your 'vibe'.
I've never met a successful person in any field who had a shitty 'vibe' and I've met lots of people who were yet to be successful - artists, sports people, business people - who had a great 'vibe' something that ear marked them for success. Often these people were living in challenging circumstances - the trick was that they never let the circumstances dictate their BEing. They decided and they made things change - they shaped the World to suit them not the other way around.
"Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination."
Oscar Wilde
So, when you've done your Visioning work and decided on what dreams you wish to pursue the next step is to ask "Who do I need to BE to HAVE that?"
Bearing in mind that success rests easily on people so RELAX.
"Wherever you are, be there."
Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart.
Try to love the questions themselves…
At present you need to live the question.
Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it,
find yourself experiencing the answer.”
Rainer Maria Rilke, Poet
In Australia and the rest of the southern hemisphere the season of Spring has just begun. The plants have an added vitality to them, seeds are sprouting, the beach is looking more inviting and children are bouncing out of bed at first light to play in the sunshine.
From a cyclical perspective, Spring heralds the return of life after the introspection and hibernation of winter. A friend told me recently that for the last few weeks he has been carrying around some seeds in his pocket to remind himself of the creative energy of Spring. I thought that was a brilliant reminder to intent.
Too often in our World I think we miss the cyclical nature of life and I believe that much can be gained from recognising the cycles in our lives and actively working with them.
Women of course have a head start on men because of the way a woman’s body follows a monthly cycle. But how many of us actually honour that cycle? American Indians used to have a ‘moon time’ when a woman would effectively retreat from the rest of the tribe and remain in isolation only with other women. The sorcerer Don Juan in Carlos Castaneda’s books says that during the time of menstruation a woman is in a time of heightened awareness and is actually able to see the ‘crack’ between the Worlds – something that we poor men can only work towards.
Too often I think we barrel forwards completely intoxicated by the lure of linear thinking. Triviality traps us into perpetual motion around daily tasks and we come to believe that the past creates the future and that we can project forwards with complete certainty.
Reality, however, tells us otherwise.
Life has its own flow and rhythm that we can tune into and align with.
Becoming aware of the seasons is a good start. Followed soon after by awareness of the moon cycle. A new moon – like we are going to have this Wednesday – and the week that follows is a good time to begin new things, to be aware of new ideas and projects coming into your life. The second week – or quarter – of the moon cycle is a great time for getting into solid action. Full moon and the days on either side of it is the most intense energy period of the moon cycle. Research shows crime rates and suicides go up on a full moon. So that should tell you to either go and party or at least be social and interact with friends and family.
Following the full moon, the moon begins to wane. So yes the energy is decreasing – third quarter – begin to slow down, put the new projects you have begun to bed. Follow up on things you have begun. Just in time for the fourth quarter – the dark moon period – when introspection is good. In the days leading up to the new moon – now – review the month that has been, ask yourself what you have done right, let go of any baggage that has come up, release any dramas, draw a BIG FAT line in the sand so the past can indeed become the past. Set your intention for the next cycle ready to begin again, renewed, refreshed, energised and inspired!
And just remember next time you are walking outside at night to look up and see the moon and know that wherever anyone is in the World they look up and see exactly the same moon you do!
“Well, if you want to sing out, sing out
And if you want to be free, be free
'cause there's a million things to be
You know that there are"
Cat Stevens
In the last post 'Just Do More of What You Love' I wrote about the benefits of accepting yourself for exactly who you are and embracing the path that opens up before you. Doing that can be quite a challenge in itself but there is another thing that happens that adds complications to the task.
You see most people have been indoctrinated into believing that they CAN'T do and be who they want. Most people have been brought up to believe that they HAVE to do certain things and that they HAVE to fit in. That the dominant paradigm is RIGHT and if they don't fit in then they are WRONG.
The best thing about this (sorry for the sarcasm) is that they way people are indoctrinated, as children naturally, is through GUILT!
Don't you love it? Fit in or people will make you feel BAD - like there is something WRONG with you!
Doesn't even have to be words spoken - can be a roll of the eyes, a sigh or a shake of the head. But the message is unmistakable "Oh my God what is WRONG with you?"
So, here's my message to you - YOU'RE ALLOWED TO SPEAK YOUR TRUTH!
Making people WRONG gets us nowhere and simply traps us all in an endless tautological merry-go-round from which there is no escape. Making people WRONG presses people's buttons, traps them and us inside the box and limits us all to a narrow view of the World that blinds us to enlightened possibilities.
TRUTH spoken from the heart is the gateway to a higher reality and the fastest path to a more enlightened future.
Thinking that you KNOW everything simply makes you a self righteous fool!
The World really is a mystery.
"The more you know the more you realise how much you don't know - the less you know the more you think you know."
David T. Freeman
In this time of change be brave enough to speak your truth about how you feel. Don't let others make you feel bad, wrong or guilty because you go against the majority. Understand that most people are simply trying to get you to agree with their version of what is right so they can feel more confident that it is so.
You're allowed to speak your truth and so are they.
"Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from weak minds."
Albert Einstein
"In conditions of uncertainty
choice comes before logic."
There is immense power in imagination and this power is enhanced through the freedom of play. The moment we humans begin to take things too seriously and become fearful and worried about what might happen in the future we lose our way and relinquish our freedom.
In 2014 I invite you to join me in playing an existential game – Life as a Project.
Just for fun I invite you to release your thinking from the chains of the past and imagine instead what could be possible.
The Life as a Project game will begin in February and go through until the end of November. I will write a new post every month – each one numbered 1 to 10 – and put links to the post on my Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/a.c.pingpage [29] and also on my LinkedIn page http://www.linkedin.com/in/acping [30]
In these posts I will detail exactly what needs to be done for the month and I will also put quotes and links on Facebook as the need arises. If you get stuck and want some help I will also make myself available via Skype for one on one coaching – just email me info@acping.net [31]
As this is the first post I want to provide some background information and also a framework for understanding that will allow other information to fit together in a sensible and logical way.
The concept of ‘Life as a Project’ comes from the work of Jean-Paul Sartre and it is rooted in the field of existentialism. Existentialism is the field of philosophy that considers the nature of existence.
Existentialism, and particularly the work of Jean-Paul Sartre and Martin Heidegger, explores the nature of existence from the perspective of Being and how we create our world through the choices that we make and the actions that we take.
From an existential perspective there is no essential nature there is only nothingness until we make choices. Hence there is no such thing as destiny or fate and our task in this life is to find ways to take responsibility and fully embrace our freedom. Freedom in this context relates to freedom of choice.
Over the course of this year I would like to explore these concepts and more including:-
The power of Intention
Being comfortable in uncertainty
Perceptual priming
Working with cycles
The power of indirect action
Momentum inertia
Powerful Habits
Alignment of Being and Doing
If you have followed my work then you will recognise some of these concepts. You might also have seen this diagram:-
From an existentialist perspective time flows from the right to the left. In other words the future becomes the present which in turn becomes the past. To be fully free is to be able to be free of what we believe are the bounds of the past and to be able to face every new moment completely unencumbered. When faced with choice the key questions are:-
What am I trying to create?
How am I aspiring to BE?
What action is most aligned to these two things?
From an essentialist perspective time flows from the left to the right and hence we are the product of our past. Our family history, upbringing, past experiences etc all combine to make us who we are and because of this our hands are tied (limited) to certain possibilities. Fate and destiny influence our lives.
In the Life as a Project game we are going to adopt an existentialist view of the world and play around with it and act accordingly – just for FUN :)
So – Step 1 – What’s the aim of the Project??
This is where people get lost – because of the way we’ve been educated (particularly in the West) – we tend to see the World as operating from an Essentialist perspective. That is, we tend to inherently think that time flows from the past to the present to the future and hence we build the future from the past and the present. But – and this is a big but – this limits what we see as possible.
So, now remember we’re playing a game here.
Try doing the visioning around the other way. Take yourself off somewhere quiet, do some deep breathing, meditate, relax, get yourself into an open minded what if type of space.
So – what if it’s December 2014 and things have gone really well – how do you FEEL?
Yes – FEEL? – relaxed, contented, excited, exhilarated, happy, free etc etc
Play around with this until you can nail it in a short phrase – eg I’m Free
When you get it and it gels then you’ve taken the first step and answered the question about the aim of the Project. The aim is to align yourself – your Being and Doing – with that feeling.
Step 2 – What’s the scope of the Project?
Yeah sure now you’ve got a central feeling that you’re aligning with what’s needed next is some more specifics – bring it into the reality plane.
What I’ve found with working with people over the years is that there are 5 key areas of life and existence that you need to align.
Physical
Mental
Material
Emotional
Spiritual
For each of these areas you need to work out a Being statement – something that captures the essence (again FEELING) of what you’re after – what you’re trying to create.
For example – Physical – “I’m fit, flexible and energetic”
Mental – “I’m on the ball and up to date and have an open mind”
When you have a Being statement then you can work out a Doing list.
For example, if I’m fit flexible and energetic then I need to DO the following things:-
- eat well and sleep well
- walk or bike ride twice a week
- stretching and yoga daily
When you have done this process for all 5 areas you will have a pretty good idea of what you need to DO on a weekly basis to BE the way you want to BE.
Step 3 – What’s my Ideal Weekly Routine?
From the first two steps you should now have enough information to map out an ideal weekly routine.
KEY TASK
Your last task for this month is to start working with Intention, Focus and Perceptual Priming.
We are bombarded every day with a myriad of information. So much so that it’s impossible for our conscious minds to take it all in, so to help us out our subconscious mind filters stuff out for us – basically to make life easier. The problem with this is that our filters can filter out stuff that could have been really useful for us. Our intentions hence have an effect on our perceived reality which in turn creates perceptual biases. In other words we simply see what we are wanting to see and filter out the rest – try the London Transport Awareness Test http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f_9INBPUX9U [32]
What we focus on then affects our happiness. Studies have shown that we have two selves – the experiencing self and the remembering self. The experiencing self can experience happy things in the moment but if the remembering self doesn’t draw our attention to them we can be miserable. For instance, imagine you go to a show and spend the first 55 minutes of the show in raptures, but in the last 5 minutes someone starts kicking your seat. When someone asks how was the show, what will you say?
Freedom comes from taking responsibility so your key task for this month is to work at a simple daily routine.
1. Start your day by asking ‘What’s my intention for today?’ noting that Intention should be something that is completely within your control – eg it is my intention to be calm, excited, focussed, present etc etc
2. End your day by asking ‘What went well today? What did I do right today? What am I grateful for?’
Remember that once you have determined what it is that your are trying to create and how you would like to BE your sole task is to manage your alignment – that is between Being and Doing – so play – see if you can match up your Intention with your Actions – and remember to be gentle as it is a game :)
In peace and love always.
Read Part 2 [33]
“Anger is a wind which blows out the lamp of the mind.”
Robert Green Ingersoll
We should banish the world of anger – expel it to the farthest reaches of the Universe – prohibit all and every person from being or becoming angry – especially men. It is a toxic emotion that serves no purpose except to incite war and death. Way back in Rome at the time of Christ, Lucius Annaeus Seneca (otherwise known as Seneca the younger) knew this when he wrote,
“Anger: an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored
than to anything into which it is poured.”
But is this really true?
Aristotle, 350 odd years earlier in Greece wrote,
“Anyone can become angry, that is easy.
But to be angry at the right person, to the right degree,
at the right time, for the right purpose,
and in the right way – that is not easy.”
So, here lies our issue, it is ridiculous to say that any and all forms of anger are bad. We needed it way back in the day when could be set upon by a tiger walking through the jungle. Faced with the choice of death and the fight, flight or freeze response I’m sure most would agree we’d at least like one brave soul to become as outrageously angry as possible – so outrageously angry in fact that they might be foolish enough to actually stand up to the tiger whilst the rest of us bugger off as quickly as our shaking little legs could carry us. So in survival mode sure, bring on the anger and make it as fast and as irrational as possible.
The mechanism here is seated deep in the brain – rational mind gets ‘blown out’ by a little almond shaped part of the brain’s limbic system called the amygdala. Thought processes get hijacked by massive emotional responses. Hence ‘brave’ man doesn’t even think of fear or even consequences, adrenalin and emotions take over – irrationality rules.
Problem is, of course that ‘brave’ becomes ‘dumb’ when ‘tiger’ gets confused with ‘person in car who cuts us off in traffic’. New research, thanks to advances in neuro-cognitive science, also shows us with the benefit of fMRI machines that our ‘self regulatory’ function – yes, that’s the bit that says ‘No dummy that’s not a tiger!’ – is diminished by things such as stress, lack of sleep, lack of caffeine and – bet you might have guessed this one – how fairly we think we are being treated…
Hence, if you are working long hours (see latest research on work trends), are sleeping badly (see the effects on sleep patterns of using more mobile gadgets – and if you sleep with your phone on your bedside table here’s a free tip – STOP IT NOW!), and/or feel like you have been slighted in some way – then guess what? The person in the car who cuts us off looks a lot like a tiger!
Hmmm… But wait there’s more – neuro-cognitive research informs us that we all have what’s called mimic neurons in our brains which means that if we see or experience an angry person, for example, we actually mimic their anger. Neat huh? Anger actually attracts anger – the person in the car who cuts us off in traffic may see us in their rear view mirror giving them the proverbial finger and cussing at them, and guess what – mimic neurons kick in and bingo – tiger sees tiger after all!
Ok – so let’s back up a bit before this all gets out of hand. Lots of beautiful teachings tell us that all anger arises from within. We fear we are going to be eaten by a tiger so we get angry to spur us into action or at some point in our lives some miserable bugger (otherwise known as venerable teacher) hurt us in such a way as to cause us to store such level of emotion to allow us to tap into extreme anger to ensure it never happens to us again. And some of us have been repeatedly hurt in such a way that we have masses of emotional pain stored inside us that we can only access and hopefully release through anger, conflict and a good fight.
The problem is, as you may have gathered from above, that once the genie is out of the bottle – look out! Hijacking begins, we are not in control, we are wild and emotional. So, where lies opportunity? BEFORE the hijacking that’s where. Because as Aristotle says, we would like to be angry in the right way not just be the vehicle holding the poisonous chalice.
Own your anger. Don’t ever blame anyone else for your own anger. Self-awareness is the start – What makes you angry? What happens when you get angry? What happens to your breathing, your thought processes, and your physical body? Recognise what presses your buttons? What is the trigger? – is it self worth, pride, old patterns, past experiences? Recognise the signs and the stages and know that the opportunity to prevent a hijacking occurs only in the beginning stages.
Make a choice to love yourself unconditionally. Make a choice to choose what it is that you actually want in your life. Be clear on what the boundaries are. Become aware of when those boundaries are being crossed. Don’t kid yourself that you can reason with the dummy who thinks they are seeing a tiger and recognise that your very own mimic neurons will undermine your calm response. WALK AWAY.
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”
Martin Luther King Jr.
In peace and love always.
A little while ago I extolled the virtues of being a joyously and unapologetic delusional optimist. Now I'd like to share a little piece of research that recently came across my desk.
In 2010 three Princeton University Neuroscientists conducted a series of experiments1 to explore the relationship between the brain activity of a person telling a story and those listening. Using fMRI machines they found that "Speaker and listener brain activity exhibits widespread coupling during communication." In other words - the brains of speaker and listener sync up...
Even more interesting is the fact that the speaker and listener weren't even in the same room - so you can rule out body language and non-verbal cues. Instead the speaker told her story and had her brain activity mapped. The listener then jumped into the fMRI machine and had their brain activity mapped whilst listening to the recording.
But wait - there's more - the experiments assumed that there would be a short lag between the brain activity of the speaker and the listener. That is, it would take the listener a moment to comprehend what was being said before they would react to the story. However, to their surprise they found the opposite - that listener's brain activity at times actually preceded what was being said - that is - they were predicting what was going to happen.
So, what does this all mean?
Well, cast your mind back to the whole Delusional Optimism versus Depressed Realism and you'll remember that I proposed that the stories that you tell about the events of your life actually create the reality you live by drawing your attention to either good or bad things.
And now you can see that whatever you are listening to you are responding to in a neurological way. That means if you are listening to sad, depressing stories that paint the World as a bleak place - guess what your brain is syncing up with?
Consider now that according to Dr Bruce Lipton, author of 'The Biology of Belief', your conscious mind is able to process about 40 bits of information per second where as your subconscious mind is able to process about 20,000,000 per second. How do you choose which 40 bits out of the 20,000,000 get passed through to the supposedly executive function of the conscious mind?
Add - that the field of Neuroplasticity tells us that the brain is actually extremely malleable through our entire lives, such that neurons that fire together wire together.
Translation - whatever you pay attention to and give emotion to on a regular basis shapes your brain...
Ergo - listen to crappy stories about the World - feel crappy about the World.
And more to the point - tell crappy stories about yourself - feel crappy about yourself...
Which is a neat link to the stuff I've written about Drama Syndrome recently...
So - why are we watching negative stories on the news?
Why would we even listen to someone else telling us a negative story?
Why would we tell a negative story about ourselves?
Why would we draw any attention to the negative at all?
Why would we try to 'fix' anything?
We create the World in our own image.
"Embrace the freedom that comes from having absolute faith
that what you are getting right now is perfect."
It pays to remember that we all have power. The power to choose. The power to act rather than react. The power to influence the World.
We are living in an amazing time of transformation. What we listen to and the stories that we tell affect us in many ways. What we listen to can make us feel afraid.
After the terrorist attacks in 2001, George W. Bush, the then President of the USA said,
"On September 11th, enemies of freedom committed an act of war against our country… and night fell on a different world, a world where freedom itself is under attack."
Acting from a place of fear ties us into a feeling of lack and sends us scurrying to protect the things we have and the ones we hold most dear - but will it help us to create a better World? Does it empower us or dis-empower us?
Hope springs eternal but it must be nourished, encouraged and listened to.
"You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean;
if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty."
Mahatma Ghandi
In this time of change I believe we are being challenged to step up and embrace our powers of creation. Fundamental to this is our ability to direct our attention to what we want rather than reacting to what others may foist upon us.
So, what stories are you listening to? What stories are you telling about yourself and the World?
Are these really aligned to what you truly want? Are you acting out of fear or from a place of courage and love?
Take time in your life to draw your attention to the wonder of the World and the beautiful creatures and people that share this World.
"I expect to pass through this World but once;
any good thing that I can do, any kindness that I can show
to any fellow creature,let me do it now; let me not defer to neglect it,
for I shall not pass this way again."
Etienne De Grellet
We are all interlinked. We are all responsible. We are one.
Take the time to be perfectly clear about what you believe in, what Values and Principles are most important to you then use your will wisely to tell, and live, an amazing story.
In peace and love always.
Reference: 1. Stephens, G.J., Silbert, L.J. & Hasson, U. 2010, 'Speaker-listener neural coupling underlies successful communication', Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the United States of America, vol. 107, no. 32, pp. 14425-30.
“At the end of all our journeying we shall return to the place from which we started and know it for the first time.”
(T.S. Elliot – on the paradox of enlightenment)
Having survived the turmoil of the last three years which began with the 2012 challenge, you may now be reading this with a new sense of enlightenment. However, just like a martial arts student doesn’t really know how to walk until they achieve a black belt level, you may also now be asking what should you do with this new sense of awareness.
As your focus shifts from “Me and mine” to “Us and ours” a quick look around the horizon reveals four significant challenges to our shared journey of ascension. One – the risk that we destroy the very environment that supports us through man made climate change. Two – the rapidly widening gap between the rich and the poor. Three – the increased levels of violence and global terrorism. Four – the security responses to this that are taking away our freedoms and civil rights leaving us watched by ‘big brother’ at every turn.
At the root of these four issues is fear in its many different forms and at the heart of the solution to all of these challenges is love. Cliché, I know, but hear me out – fear drives the justifications that rationalise away our guilt and allow us to do little about these issues without having to reassess ourselves as ‘bad’. So it is here at this junction point of creation that we must pause and use our new found powers of mindfulness to deconstruct our thinking and view the problems afresh.
Fundamentally, we are faced with systems problems. Our economic system is carbon based hence we keep digging up coal and oil, burning it and pumping it into the atmosphere. Similarly, our financial system is utilitarian based hence we keep rewarding outcomes based on money not principles. Fear then feeds separation, judgement, scarcity, us and them type thinking and the ultimate manifestation is violence and the violation of the sanctity of life itself.
Awareness of the temporal nature of existence and the critical relationship between being and time reveals disconnects between what we aspire to create, what we actually create and how we justify why we did what we did – or didn’t do. A lot to take in I know so let’s break it down and delve into the weird and wonderful world of social constructivism. Social constructivism says that there is no objective reality but rather reality is created by the actors themselves through the stories they tell.
So, we might aspire to create a world of peace and harmony but when confronted with the current challenges it is all too easy to see them as all too hard and beyond the influence of someone as insignificant as us. A cold hard objective look would be far too depressing and the self-analysis and judgement too severe and harsh. Enter some justifications to get ourselves off the hook:- It’s not my responsibility – I’m insignificant and have no power so there’s nothing I can do about it; It’s not hurting anyone – out of sight, out of mind; They deserved it; If you think I’m bad you should see them; I did it for you, for family, for God; Everyone else is doing it so I had no choice but to follow suit; and finally, I deserve it – I’ve worked hard and paid my price.
It’s these types of justifications that you need to be mindful of as you learn to walk with your new black belt. If you’re aware it’s a systems problem then there are things you can actually do. The carbon based economy is on the way out – there’s a reason major mining companies are divesting their coal assets. Your power lies in how you interact with the financial system – how you earn, spend and invest your money. The key here is existential alignment – that is to be able to align what you aspire to create with your actions in the present moment and the story that you tell to be able to justify what you actually did. Easy eh?
Problem is there’s theory and then there’s reality – for example, you aspire to be environmentally friendly and contribute to creating a world where your children get to enjoy what you have enjoyed. You want them to have a good life so you’ve built a house and have a healthy sized mortgage, but then the company you work for makes you redundant and the best option is working in the mines on a fly in, fly out basis. It’s easy to justify this despite the conflict because you’re doing it for your kids and if you don’t do it someone else will. But you’re not aligned, there’s an internal conflict so here’s where love comes in and a healthy dose of faith.
There are two distinct paths one can go down here – buy into the fear, keep doing what you’re doing and justify away your guilt; or be mindful of the conflict, refuse the job on the basis of principle, step into the realm of faith and make a conscious choice to love yourself regardless of the consequences…
Nobody said it was easy…
Faith is a belief in something for which there is no evidence. Awareness, awakens you to possibility but not certainty. Now you’re awake take the time to consider what you will and will not put energy into, become aware of the flawed justifications that will inhibit your ability to actually do this. Work on aligning yourself existentially, but most of all make a conscious choice to love yourself unconditionally and have faith in the shared ascension of us all.
In peace and love always :)
“Treat a man as he is and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he can and should be and he will become as he can and should be.”
Goethe
The transition to the new school had been tough for the young boy, not just because of the change from a school where disputes were settled with fists to one where words were preferred, but because of the sudden and overwhelming focus on academic results.
Results spoke even louder than words. Results were revealed for all to see. Students were graded in the minutiae, a list produced in order of performance and then posted on the noticeboard.
In such an environment the boy felt overwhelmed and was quickly placed into a box by the teachers called ‘average’. As an average student he gave average effort and reports during the year more often than not read ‘could try harder’. But why? He was average, his results were average, and so his expectation of self was average.
His main focus was survival. His worst nightmare was Maths, not just because of the maths itself, but because of the maths teacher, a gruff ex military type who chain smoked between classes in the staff common room and who delighted in taunting the boy with a rhyming criticism of his work.
At the completion of his first year at the school the boy was relieved – his results average, his effort average, his expectations of himself average. The long summer holidays gave him ample time to form stronger bonds with his new class mates and to reassess his view of himself. A new year, he told himself, a new teacher, a chance to begin again. But his enthusiasm deflated when on the first day of the new school year he found out that he was to have the same gruff maths teacher – the only difference to the previous year was that now he was not alone, now he had friends who encouraged him to ignore the taunts of the teacher and just get on with things instead.
“I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be, and you can never be what you ought to be until I am what I ought to be. This is the inter-related structure of reality.”
Martin Luther King Jnr.
Arriving at class for Maths the boy’s stomach was full of butterflies, he walked in with his head down trying to avoid the gaze of the teacher and it was only when he had found his desk and sat down that he looked up. The gruff, heavily built teacher had shrunk, his face was drawn and gaunt and he now sported a moustache. When he began to teach, his demeanour had changed, the taunting had gone replaced by a more present and caring manner. But still the boy was wary, survival remained his primary goal.
After class and for days afterwards the students gossiped – What had happened to the Maths teacher? What was the story behind the moustache? Why was the teacher fervently chewing gum at every opportunity? Slowly a consensus emerged – cancer caused from smoking it said.
At the mid-term test the boy arrived for the Maths test with his usual trepidation but once the paper was turned over he was surprised to find that if he was calm he could carefully think his way through the problems and solve them.
In the following days he forgot about the test and it was only when walking back from Chapel that the unexpected appearance of the Maths teacher caused his stomach to begin somersaults. The boy tried to avoid the teacher’s gaze but to no avail, he was pulled out of line and taken to one side.
Staring at the ground he shifted nervously from foot to foot.
“How do you think you went in that test?” the teacher asked.
“I don’t know,” the boy mumbled.
“Did you try?” the teacher asked.
“I suppose”
“Look,” the teacher demanded.
The boy slowly looked up, not knowing what to expect. The teacher was holding up a test paper, his test paper. Written on the front in red was ‘97/100 Excellent work!’ The boy was speechless.
“Yours was the highest mark for the whole year,” the teacher said pausing, “This is what I believe you should be getting every test. This is the standard I believe you are capable of.” he paused again, “If, you try.”
The teacher handed the boy the test and walked away. In the next lot of tests the boy was in the top three students in his year. His story about himself shifted and for the rest of his school life he remained right at the top of his year – all because one man believed in him.
It’s easy to be critical, to justify your position by saying “I’m just trying to set a high standard” or something like that but does that really help in the long run. There is amazing research that has been done showing what happens when grade school teachers are told at the start of the year whether or not their students are high achievers or not. Teachers who have been told their students are high achievers (even if they are not) have a different level of expectation of the students and, I’m sure I don’t have to tell you, the results reflect this.
Ask most successful people who contributed to their success and you will find more stories of people who believed in them – often more than they believed in themselves. The lesson is this – put simply the past is the past but it has a momentum hangover that flows into the present in the form of a life narrative or story. If you believe the past story then your expectations of a person will reflect this and your perceptual biases will filter out information that doesn’t fit the story. But – if you look for the highest potential of a person and hold that space for them – believing in what they are capable of – and then – look for information to support this story – not only do you provide the other person with an opportunity to be all that they can be, you also free yourself from the heavy burden of the past and allow yourself to dream.
In peace and love always.
A few points courtesy of 'The Optimistic Child' by Martin Seligman PhD
“- Depressed people are accurate judges of how much skill they have, whereas non-depressed people think they are more skilful than others think them to be (80% of American men think they are in the top half of social skills)
- Non-depressed people remember more good events than actually happened and forget more of the bad events.
- Depressed people are accurate about both.
- Non-depressed people are lopsided about their beliefs about success and failure: if rewards occur - they claim the credit, the rewards will last and they're good at everything; but if it was a failure, you did it to them, it's going away quickly, and it was just this one little thing.
- Depressed people are even handed about success and failure."
Which brings me to my point - would you rather be a depressed realist or a delusional optimist?
And if so bet you want to know how to do it? Be delusional that is?
Consider it out from a 'Being' perspective
We are creating our reality through the stories that we tell ourselves about how the World works and our place in it.
If you base your story on the Past and all the evidence you've accumulated then you are effectively closed to true possibility.
"But that's reality!" I hear you cry and yes maybe...
"Reality never lies but it only tells the truth about the Past not the Future"
Living in the Past/Present loop traps you into being who you always have been, locks you into a limited view of reality, blocks true possibility BUT it is safe because it is based on EVIDENCE.
Oh but wait isn't that incredibly REAL? and aren't we trying to be gloriously and freely DELUSIONAL?
Yes please...
Delusional means believing in something where there is no evidence - in other words living in the Future/Present loop and allowing yourself to dream!
"I couldn't have imagined everything that has happened.
But dreams are like that. That's what makes
the journey so interesting."
Michael Jordan
"'One can't believe in impossible things.'
'I daresay you haven't had much practice,' said the Queen.
'When I was your age, I always did it for half an hour a day.
Why sometimes I've believed in as many as six impossible
things before breakfast.'"
Lewis Carroll, 'Through the Looking Glass'
EXERCISE your imagination! Ask - What do I really want? How would it FEEL? Practice holding your mind in the realm of Future possibility - treat it as a game - PLAY!
If shit happens - as it does in life - then consider the positive psychology approach advocated by Martin Seligman - and take a look at how you are describing events to yourself. In other words - take a good look at what Story you are telling yourself about life and hence what you are creating?
The three descriptors are - Personal vs Impersonal, Temporary vs Permanent, Specific vs Pervasive.
So, something bad happens and the pessimist says to themselves "I got made redundant, obviously it was my fault, things are never going to get better, why is this sort of thing always happening to me."
The optimist says "I got made redundant because those idiots at the top are cutting staff, it's a temporary setback and it's just this one little thing."
Something good happens and the pessimist says "I got a pay rise. I guess the Unions have negotiated and everyone's getting one, bet it won't last, wish the rest of my life would improve."
The optimist says "I got a pay rise. Finally, they've recognised my talent, things like this are always happening to me and I'm on the way to the top."
Note the Personal versus Impersonal distinction?
If you face a setback and hear yourself saying to someone "Why is this happening to me?" you should hear alarm bells ringing and know you are on the WRONG track.
Be delusional remember!
"If you don't ever plan to come back
then wherever you are is reality."
Daniel Johns - Silverchair
Note also that the pessimist is an accurate judge of reality so you'd better skew the EVIDENCE to make sure you're being as wickedly delusional as possible!
Before going to sleep at night ask - "What did I do right today?" or "What was good about today?"
The aim here is to compile as much EVIDENCE as possible to support the story that YOU are having an AMAZINGLY blessed and happy life.
You see there's a distinction between our 'Experiencing selves' and our 'Remembering selves' - check out the Research of Daniel Kahneman, Nobel Prize winning psychologist, and specifically his great TED talk 'The Riddle of Experience versus Memory' http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/en/daniel_kahneman_the_riddle_of_experience_vs_memory.html [34]
In a nutshell what Daniel Kahneman says is that we can have a life full of happy experiences but unless we remember these and tell ourselves a good story about them then we won't be happy.
So
- You're creating your reality through the stories you're telling yourself
- If you're being factually accurate there's a good chance you're leaning towards pessimism
- Make a decision to be gloriously and unapologetically delusional
- Train yourself to focus on the good stuff by asking every day 'What did I do right?'
- Let go of the bad stuff - that means DON'T write it down in your dear diary... if you are compelled to write it out do so on a piece of paper and then BURN IT!!
In peace and love always.
"The great epochs of our lives come when we gain the courage to rebaptise our worst qualities as our best."
Nietzsche
The 'war' had been going on for months and was characterised by insidious intimidation - windows being broken ,fences cut, cows mysteriously finding their way through fences into carefully prepared vegetable gardens, staff threatened until they would no longer risk working. An age old standoff that could have occurred in any colonised country.
Time brought with it an escalation of events. Threats were made and soon investors became nervous and wanted quick solutions - people were called. When things become difficult there are always people that can be called - ones who will provide solutions on a fee paid and no questions asked basis.
And so I sat opposite a man who resembled a rhino, short of stature but built like the proverbial. When we'd met my hand had been shaken in a vice like grip as beady eyes that had seen too much bored into me.
Conversation eschewed as the watchers, in their terms, 'held a perimeter'. The deal was simple - "Tell us your problem" he said "we will tell you how much, then you pay us and we fix it". And fix in this instance did most definitely not mean sitting down for a cup of afternoon tea at the negotiation table.
A simple nod, a shake of the hand or any other subtle and ever so brief form of agreement would have ended one person's life. Deniability lay in the details. Shock came at the recognition of how long that course of action was actually contemplated - even if it could only be measured in milliseconds.
Anger had driven me right out to the edge.
"Only when the land is darkest can you see the stars"
Martin Luther King Jnr
Fear draws its own test towards us. Deep within us lies the darkest aspect of our nature. The parts of us that have been wounded and hurt beyond our ability to consciously process. Hidden under layer upon layer of padding lie the bits of us that never see the light. But there upon lies the conundrum, for those parts of us that we would wish to hide, even from ourselves, still resonate in the quantum field. Like the pinging of a sonar radar they seek something to bounce off and so they draw towards them ever so slowly but ever so consistently, circumstances that will allow them to test the truth.
Is it true?
It is not until you have the courage to face your fears that you have the opportunity to release them. Often we don't like what we see but more often we don't even recognise what we see. Confronting circumstances drawn to us are met with indescribably shock - "Why is this happening to me?"
Projection onto others soon follows as a far more acceptable course of action than, heaven forbid, taking responsibility.
But if we embrace the notion that everything is perfect then deniability is not an option. Owning anger and fear is a start. Early life pain burrows deep into the psyche and manifests as a limiting story - I am not good enough, I am unworthy, I am unlovable.
Fear that this may be true radiates out into the universe and draws to us events that will allow us to test the truth of these testaments. Always we get the chance to grow.
"Where there is great light there is great darkness"
Circumstances allow us to ask "Is it true?"
But no-one can answer this for us in any meaningful, long lasting and healing way. No matter how many people tell you that you are loveable, there will be no healing of the wound until you decide the answer for yourself. No one can release you from your fear except you.
Embrace your dark side and hold it close to your heart for it is the most wounded part of yourself and the greatest place of growth and ascension. Denial and revulsion will not serve you. You need to own your fears and the anger that springs from them. Repressing the feelings that go with them will not resolve them. Toeing the line, fitting in, putting on the fake smile, saying all the 'right' things is just lying to yourself.
You have to walk in absolute truth otherwise you're only lying to yourself and limiting your ability to ascend. Self love cannot happen without self truth.
Is personal comfort more important than truth? Would you rather be liked by others than by yourself?
To honour yourself, embrace your dark side. Feel the anger that arises from fear. Allow it to show you your wounds. Give thanks for the opportunity to grow and then rebaptise your worst qualities as your best and shine your light in truth and love.
In peace and love always.
New book 'The Art of Remembering Who You Really Are' now available on Amazon [35]
[35]
“Few will have the greatness to bend history itself, but each of us can work to change a small portion of events. It is from numberless diverse acts of courage and belief that human history is shaped. Each time a man stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope, and crossing each other from a million different centres of energy and daring those ripples build a current which can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance.”
Robert F. Kennedy
'How ought we to live?' - the central question in Ethics.
And the three feeder questions that one can ask when addressing ethical issues -
1. What is right?
2. What is good?
3. What is fitting?
At the heart of the disagreement between these three questions is time and following logically along behind - the nature of life itself.
You see if we begin from the position of life being only short term (<100 years) and that what we should be doing is maximising our utility then logic dictates that we should be orientated to Utilitarianism - or the question of 'What is good?' - in terms of a good outcome.
Take for instance Coal Seam Gas mining. CSG is all about drilling down into the coal seam which has taken many millions of years to form, and then fracturing it with a mix of chemicals under high pressure, which in turn releases the gas which has been trapped in the coal.
Sounds great eh? A good source of fuel that is more environmentally friendly than oil and will provide a power source to drive electricity generators hence allowing us all to live the way we are used to.
What's a good outcome?
That all people would be allowed to have access to cheap power and hence be able to work, study, and live in a way that promotes maximum utility.
The only negative being - shhh!!! - that in fracturing the coal seam which has, as I mentioned, taken many millions of years to form - we may just accidently pollute the water table and hence pollute and poison the land resulting in - some say permanent damage.
What's right?
Here we're talking about principles and values remember. So - an appropriate value would be to protect and maintain the natural environment. That we have a responsibility to pass onto future generations an Earth in at least as good a state as we found it. Inter-generational equity is what we are talking about - that future generations have equal rights with us.
So, CSG? Yes, well err... The right thing to do would be not to risk damaging the environment at all.
Remembering that,
"A Value is not a Value
unless you are willing to pay a price
to uphold it"
In this case - the price would be cheap gas, jobs, tax income for the country.
What's fitting?
So, what's culturally fitting? Is it generally accepted that we rape, pillage and plunder the Earth of her resources so we can live better? Well, yes actually...
So, short term we'd have to go with YES CSG creates a good outcome, NO CSG is not the right thing to do, and YES CSG is culturally fitting.
BUT
Let's see what happens if we shift the time frame?
At some point the two lines of the graph depicting - short term $ benefits and long term environmental costs will intersect and suddenly the GOOD outcome changes.
And here we logically find ourselves faced with the question of the nature of existence.
You see if you believe that you are only here for a short stay of < 100 years - then - bugger it - exploit the environment for all it's worth, hunt and eat whales, support an oil based economy etc etc - just as long as you don't have to suffer.
If you believe though that you might be re-incarnated, or even that you 'live on' through your children and their children then - oh? - you might even consider investing in solar roof panels, supporting socially responsible companies - even if it costs you more, and - heaven help us - standing up for ideals!
Problem is you've got to convince yourself that it is worthwhile doing even if you see that the majority of the population AREN'T!
"If you shape your life according to nature,
you will never be poor; if according to people's opinions,
you will never be rich."
Epicurus
So - Ethics - and escaping the boundaries of time.
1. Take the time to work out what it is that you actually do believe in - what you Value most - noting that this will be intimately linked to your view on the nature of life itself
2. Ask what you would do if you knew you were going to live forever
3. Decide if you're going to be a talker or a do-er
4. ACT!
"To accomplish great things,
we must not only act,
but also dream;
not only plan,
but also believe."
Anatole France
In peace and love always.
“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right doing,
there is a field. I will meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass,
the world is too full to talk about
language, ideas, even the phrase each other
doesn't make any sense.”
Rumi
There is a Parliamentary Inquiry going on here in Australia to determine whether Ethics classes should be abolished in NSW School. Ethics classes were introduced in 2010 as an alternative to Scripture classes from which 25% of students had opted out. Until the introduction of ethics classes schools were forbidden from holding alternative classes for these children.
The Inquiry has heard many submissions including one from Dr Bernadette Tobin, the director of the Plunkett centre for ethics and associate professor at the Australian Catholic University who warned of teaching ethics to children before they learn what is right and what is wrong.
"If you encourage children to think in those ways before they've got that background, you run the risk of teaching them to be sceptical about right and wrong." she said.
And here I find myself compelled to respond because I don't necessarily see that as a bad thing.
In seeking to answer the central question of ethics of "How ought we to live?" or "What constitutes a good life?" there are three feeder questions - What is good? What is right? and What is fitting?
In my post "Escaping the Boundaries of Time" [36] I argued that one should consider acting as if one was going to live forever therefore opening yourself up to the long term consequences of your actions and therefore the benefits of acting according to a set of higher principles.
I've also argued in my post "Why Ideals Should Never Be At The Mercy Of History" [37] that we should also not sacrifice these ideals simply because it has been culturally fitting historically to undertake actions such as Whale hunting.
Now I would like to address the limitations inherent in being tied to a fixed view of how the World works and what is right and wrong.
The task of trying to work out what is right and wrong is the task of seeking to establish a set of uniform rules that can be applied in any situation. It is usually referred to as Universalism because it seeks universal rules.
Examples are embodied in every religion and usually in every spiritual group or sect as well as communes and tight knit communities. The Ten Commandments is probably the best known example in the Western World but similar sets of rules exist in Judaism, Islam and Buddhism. The result of a group of people sharing a set of clear cut rules is that it engenders trust and allows community.
In mainstream society, the way that we answer the question of 'What is Right?' gets translated into law which is in turn enforced by Police and the Judiciary. Again, the aim is to create a community where we all understand what is right and wrong and therefore what constitutes acceptable behaviour. In other words - act in accordance with the Law and you will be living a good life.
The problem is that such rigid thinking has significant limitations AND it is not specifically supported by the system that we have for dividing up our collective resources. So, how about we look at this from an Ontological Philosophical perspective - or to put it simply - from the perspective of Being.
So - we live in the three Worlds of the Past, Present and Future.
In Ethics we are trying to determine - how ought we to live in order to lead a good life. Note that this means we are trying to work out how to live now in the Present so that when the Present becomes the Past and we look back and judge we can give our seal of approval on how we have lived.
Universalism is about trying to determine a universal set of rules that we can follow that will enable us to lead a good life. Universal rules arise from Ideals and Values that by definition are aspirational and hence live in the Future.
Let me give you an example. We aspire to live by the value of Honesty which in turn gives rise to the rule "Thou shalt not lie".
I think it would be fair to say that most people would aspire to live in truth however how many of us can say with all honesty that we have never told a lie??
Likewise we aspire to live by the value of Respect for Life which translates into the rule "Thou shalt not kill" but how many people have been killed in an act of War by Christian countries?
Or - if someone broke into your house in the middle of the night and held your young daughter at gunpoint threatening to kill her - how many of you would hesitate to kill them to prevent that happening?
So, you see Right/Wrong thinking has its limitations.
Rigidity leads to fanaticism, judgement, war.
If we become so convinced that our view of the World is Right then we make those who disagree with us Wrong. Which means instead of living in the aspirational Future we are living in the judgemental Past.
So, a note of warning - The people who will fight nobly for a cause include heroes as well as fanatical villains.
The other problem with Right/Wrong thinking is that it isn't supported by the economic system that we currently use to divide up our resources.
Free market economics is based on Ethical Egoism - or put bluntly Self Interest.
The father of free market economics is Adam Smith who proposed that if all the forces in the market were working efficiently then a mystical 'Invisible Hand' would reach in and set a fair price.
Problem is, the simple translation of free market economics into ethical terms is "What's in it for me?"
People struggling with an ethical dilemma don't then consider what Values they are aspiring to and what is right and wrong - instead they try and calculate what the consequences of various actions will be in the hope of finding one that causes the least pain and the most benefit. Hence this form of ethical reasoning is termed Utilitarianism or Consequentialism.
Values pretty much go out the window.
Consider a hostage drama. Three gunmen and holding twelve people in a bank threatening to kill one every hour until they are given free passage.
The SWAT team leader says "No problem we can get in there and take out the hostages with minimal casualties - say one or two hostages"
The Universalist says "What's paramount is Respect for Life - therefore we cannot risk one innocent person being killed. We need to find another way."
The Consequentialist says "Ten benefit, two may lose - ok go ahead and do it"
The Universalist is constrained by rigidity. The Consequentialist is constrained by the need to try and predict the future.
Reality is lived in the Present.
So, back to the point of this article.
In an age where wars are being fought over who is right and who is wrong, the willingness of young people to question the stated norm of what is Right and Wrong is, I believe, a healthy thing.
The key to leading a good life is the ability to see dilemmas from a range of different viewpoints, to be able to engage with one another to find a solution that allows us to aspire to live according to higher principles but also to be beyond judgement of others and firmly rooted in the present.
In peace and love always.
A recent newspaper article here in Australia suggested that the actions of anti whaling campaigners was unfair and that because the Japanese people have been hunting whales for generations it should be ok.
This is an interesting dilemma and goes to the heart of many ethical issues and the answer to the question 'How ought we to live?' - which is central to Ethics.
So - first let's start with the three key questions that one can ask when addressing ethical issues -
1. What is right?
- here we are talking about morals and rules for living a good life such as the Ten Commandments.
2. What is good?
- this question considers the outcome and the utility of various options. The simple rule is - the greatest good for the greatest number with the least amount of harm to the fewest number.
3. What is fitting?
- this addresses the cultural question. So - what fits culturally? For instance, in most western countries it is seen as a sign of honesty to look someone in the eye but in many Asian countries it can be seen as a sign of disrespect.
You can read more about these key questions and my model for ethical decision making in my book 'Sensitive Chaos - A Guide to Ethics and the Creation of Trust' available at the Webshop http://www.acping.net/web_shop [38]
The thing with these three questions is that they don't often agree - and if they do then it's not really a tricky ethical dilemma anyway.
Try something like - was it right for the USA to hunt down and kill Osama Bin Laden?
Is it right to kill someone? NO
Was it a good outcome? If you argue that he was going to plan more terrorist attacks and kill more innocent people then you could say YES
Was it fitting? In other words - live by the sword die by the sword? YES
On balance then you can argue logically and rationally that although it's morally wrong to kill someone in this instance the outcome or end justifies the means.
So, back to Whales, Ideals and History...
If you think about the World and how we answer that question of 'How ought we to live?' what becomes apparent is that over time our answer shifts. For instance we used to - have African slaves in the US, deny Aborigines the vote in Australia, pay men more than women for the same work and so on.
So, what changes?
Ideals don't change. Outcomes are based on a rational judgement. What changes is culture and what we see as fitting.
How to visualise it?
Imagine there is a train heading along a straight rail track into the future. The people at the front of the train are the idealists. They are pushing the boundaries and are willing to stand up for what they think is right or fight against what they think is wrong.
At the back of the train - usually in the club car smoking stogies - are the people trying to work out a good outcome. Or, in western free market society, these are the people trying to work out what is best for them - self interest gone mad! Here you will find the bankers and sadly often the politicians huddled in a corner doing deals over a few drinks...
In the middle of the train - being lobbied by the idealists and the outcome orientated people are the people trying to answer the culturally fitting question.
The idealist - as you imagine - argue based on ideals - that Whales for instance have the same right to life as human beings.
The utilitarians argue on the basis of outcome and unfortunately in our world the key measurement for utility is MONEY. 'Don't upset the Japanese they are a key trading partner and it will cost us MONEY!'
Ideals should NEVER be at the mercy of history. If our best argument for not standing up for an ideal is 'Because it's always been done that way' - then we have lost our connection to the highest aspects of what it means to be a human being.
Stand up for what you believe in. Fight for your ideals because by doing so we slowly forge a greater future together.
In peace and love always.
"The less effort, the faster and more powerful you will be.
Bruce Lee
A friend emailed me recently explaining that she had been having a difficult time but that she was working hard to get through her current struggle to get to where she wants to be. She extolled the virtues of struggle and suggested that there was good in it.
Something about that irked me. Is that true? Is there benefit in struggle?
Imagine you are paddling down the rapids in your kayak when you hit a boulder at the wrong angle and get tipped out into the white water. Do you struggle? Hell yes! Does it help? Maybe only to a point – you see once you’ve pulled your head above the water and taken a breath then your next challenge is actually to stop struggling, stop panicking and freaking out and start thinking and calming down. You need to get your bearings and feel the flow. Struggling against the flow will simply wear you out and as you get worn out you will start to drop below the surface every now and again. You will start to take in mouthfuls of water and that will freak you out and make you panic and struggle even more. Then the more you struggle and panic the less will be your ability to actually save yourself. Instead of thinking about what you want you will be thinking about what you don’t want – fear will reach out and grab you…
Your ability to self-regulate your emotions and still act will be critical to your survival.
So back to struggle.
You won’t get to peace through struggle just like you won’t get to peace through war – think about it - “We are seeking peace but to get there we are going to bomb you, kill your friends and family so as to encourage you to be peaceful” – hmmm….
“The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. Instead of diminishing evil, it multiplies it. Through violence you murder the hater; but you do not murder hate. In fact violence merely increases hate… Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”
Martin Luther King Jnr.
Struggle means you are struggling against something – fighting something. But in fighting something you are paying it attention, giving it energy, lending it your energy. Instead of focusing on what you want, you are fighting against what you don’t want. Instead of being peaceful and proactive, you are being stressed and reactive. As your experience flows from the present to the past you tell a story about it to reinforce your current view of reality. If you tell a story about your struggle, guess what, you are reinforcing your experience of struggle – so I repeat – focusing on struggle will not lead you to not struggle.
“But wait”, I hear you cry, “If I don’t struggle, if I don’t fight, I will lose”
And so you are back to fear is my reply…
“Fear, even the smallest fear, is a hacking at the cords of faith…”
Anon.
In amongst your experience is what you desire. This is what you need to first look for – what is it that you truly and deeply want?
When you find it you need to translate it into essence – feeling – a state of being.
Deep, heartfelt clarity on what that looks like, feels like and sounds like in hard core reality.
Connect to that feeling and ground it in reality in the best way that you can – remember times when you were peaceful, free, loving and in flow – reconnect to that time. Retrace your footsteps back to where you once were. Recognise the fork in the road that took you down the struggle street. Recognise the good in the experience and say thanks. Release the fear and embrace gratitude instead – regain your faith.
Breathe….
In your state of calm and grace you can now feel the flow. Getting out of the rapids is now easy and maybe even fun. Allow the current to take you. Make slight little adjustments to your trajectory and look out for opportunity – all the time staying as calm and relaxed as you can – and there, grab that overhanging branch – and you’re out!
In life, find your space of calm and serenity – release your fear, grow your faith – “I don’t know why this is happening to me now but I trust and have faith that it is perfect and that with the passing of time I will come to understand the meaning of these events”.
Faith means believing in something where there is no evidence.
Don’t fritter away your will by pitting it against someone or something else.
Direct your will to your faith – use your will to hold your nerve – hold your peace, hold your faith.
Feel the flow, don’t fight against it, allow yourself to go with it, focus on what you want and patiently wait for it to appear – then act, and act decisively, calmly, confidently and with love.
“When you find the way, others will find you. Passing by on the road they will be drawn to your door. The way that cannot be heard will be echoed in your voice. The way that cannot be seen will be reflected in your eyes.”
Lao-tsu in Toao-te Ching
In peace and love always.
Arriving a little early to pick up my daughter from school I see the kids form a circle to finish their day and as they stand the teacher leads them in the following rhyme.
"Our work is done, our day is past, we'll go our separate ways
and I will hold so tight and fast, what I have learnt today
I've given with my heart and mind the effort that it needs
and I will strive in me to find
good thoughts, good words, good deeds."
Such a simple affirmation, days later I sit in a group coaching session with senior business executives who have just completed a leadership program. We discuss the notion of honouring others and the benefit of building high trust environments. The concept of intention comes to the fore.
How often do you just roll through the day never really stopping to think how you actually want to be but rather reacting to circumstances as they occur?
A colleague at University gives me a book "The How of Happiness - A scientific approach to getting the life you want" by Sonja Lyubomirsky. In it the author extols the virtues of Intentional Activity - "50 percent of individual differences in happiness are governed by genes, 10 percent by life circumstances, and the remaining 40 percent by what we do and how we think - that is, our intentional activities and strategies. ... If we observe genuinely happy people, we shall find that they do not just sit around being contented. They make things happen." (p.64)
I work with this concept in coaching people - "Bookend the day" I suggest "In the morning set intention and at the end of the day manage your focus by asking 'What did I do right today?'"
I've found though that most people when asked to set intention will focus on activities rather than states of being. For instance, "My intention toady is to complete my report, hold two meetings and go for a run after work".
But intentions that focus on doing stuff can become rope to hang ourselves - you didn't go for the run so therefore you failed in some way and hence you don't deserve whatever it is you want....
Intention focussed on BEing is better - "Today no matter what happens I intend to be focussed, present and peaceful" - then regardless of whether or not you go for the run you can still be happy with yourself and hence tell a positive story about who you are and how you are living your life - create a sustainable way of being that is internally self supportive.
So - back to the Good thoughts, Good words, Good deeds.
I pick my daughter up and as we are driving out of the car park a woman in a red Audi speeds past "Slow down you silly ..." I hear myself think - oops strike one!
Forgiveness of self and a resetting of intention gets me back on track.
"Good thoughts, Good words, Good deeds"
In peace and love always.
If you're like me and many other people I've spoken to recently you may have found 2012 thus far a rather challenging year. The thing about challenges or crises or whatever you like to call them is that they knock you off your game, divert your attention away from what you want and send you into a reactive spin - something which can take you a while to recover from.
Whilst pondering this I watched a great TED talk about sustainability and change, in which the speaker extolled the virtues of resilience and the ability of systems to be internally self sustaining. Now, much has been written about resilience but what always comes to mind for me is the poem 'If' written by Rudyard Kipling and inspired by Dr Leander Starr Jameson, who led a failed raid by British forces against the South African Boers in 1895.
"If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise."
How then would you create an internally self sustaining system for yourself - and your personal mastery - that will allow you to absorb external shocks without blowing you out of the water? (read - 'Lose focus and get reactive to other people's agendas').
For me this is all about creating systems and processes that support your way of 'BEing' in an existential sense. So, let's come back to the model for being that I've used before.
I've written a lot before about how we all exist in these three domains of time - Past, Present and Future. In each domain we need to do specific things that will allow us to BE how we want to BE.
Most of us live about 90% in the Past/Present loop so that the majority of the time we are simply reacting to events as they occur. All of this is fine, as long as there is not any major change in the environment, we can simply settle into our routines and make continuous improvements to make our lives easier.
However, living this way is not systemically sustainable or resilient to major outside influence because by definition it is reactive so an outside shock can knock us way out of alignment. Consider how a major shock such as loss of employment, relationship breakdown, illness or financial difficulties affects a person living mostly in this realm.
In 2012 I believe that we have faced and will continue to face ongoing major external shocks to our systemic way of being.
So, how to become resilient?
First step is to clearly determine how you want to BE. This is a question of character.
"A person's character is their destiny."
Heraclitus
Character is about what's under the surface - about what you see as being most important in life - about the principles and values that you live by. Values provide us with a foundation for our BEing. Now lots of people would say they believe in common values such as freedom, justice, truth, peace, love and acceptance but we live in a cause and effect world so belief is not enough.
"Action is character."
F. Scott Fitzgerald
Action though in our modern world comes with attaching consequences and the thing is, I'd suggest, that most of us have become consequentialists when it comes to determining our response to ethical or moral dilemmas. Although we may believe in higher values what we consider is what the outcomes of our actions might be and what the consequences may be for us - yes - "What's in it for me?"
So, what's this got to do with resilience?
Well, a value is not a value unless you're willing to pay a price to uphold it - and in most cases the price you pay will be a loss of a beneficial outcome to yourself. A banal example would be working for a bank where you are privy to market sensitive information about a corporate client. You could rush out and buy shares in the company hence exploiting your inside knowledge - or you could be honest and do nothing. A consequentialist might consider the risk of trading, might even consider getting a friend to buy the shares so the risk of being caught would be almost non-existent. The payoff might outweigh the risk. The justification may be that 'others do it all the time' or 'they pay me badly and I deserve more'.
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."
Martin Luther King Jnr.
But what happens when we do things that compromise our values?
Even if nobody else ever finds out there is always one who knows - ourselves. And the self that knows tells a story about who we are based on what we've done.
This story about ourselves lives in the past and helps us to construct our story about who we are, our place in the world and how the world works. We carry these stories with us where ever we go. These stories can either strengthen and nurture us or they can become unwanted baggage that weighs us down.
Resilience is about building a strong foundation and then acting with integrity in alignment with that way of BEing. So aligning BEing and DOing.
An internally self sustaining system is one which is internally supportive. In an existential sense this means recognising the benefits of DOing in a way that supports your intended state of BEing. Knowing that you can never escape yourself - you can never escape your conscience.
How do you line it all up then?
In that model for BEing time is going from right to left - the Future becomes the Present which then becomes the Past.
Vision and Values live in the Future - we aspire to BE them. First step then is clarity - where are we headed? What's going to guide us? Clarify your Vision and Values.
In the Present we need to translate the Vision and Values into action. What systems and processes would support this? Daily practice - setting intention in the morning for how we want to BE during the day. Taking the time to undertake activities that allow us to broaden the gap that is the Present - so as to allow us to be less reactive and more proactive - read - meditation, yoga, walking the dog, exercising, staring at sunsets etc. Ending the day with focus management - ask 'What did I do right today?'
It's never too late to change.
"History is constantly being rewritten by the present"
Your actions in the Present flow into the Past - today becomes yesterday.
The Past either nurtures you with supportive stories or it becomes your baggage that you must carry everywhere.
Good actions in the present need to be integrated into a habitual way of being.
"Excellence is not an act but a habit"
Aristotle
What systems and processes will support your way of BEing? Daily practices become weekly routines. A good workout can become a weekly ritual of supportive practice. A weekly ritual soon becomes a supportive internal story - remember you can't escape yourself so even better if your internal story is self supportive and hence promotes resilience.
Then you need to take out the garbage. Look at any sustainable and resilient system and it will have a method of dealing with garbage - what's yours?
Garbage in this sense is any limiting beliefs and fears associated with past performance failures and/or any painful or disturbing emotional issues from past events or relationships that negatively affect self confidence and self esteem.
Effective garbage control systems vary from person to person but can include insight meditation, exercising with intent, talk therapy, acupressure taping, breath work, yoga, bilateral therapy (walking). There is NO one answer - anyone who tells you otherwise is delusional - we are all different and different things work for different people - the key is to work out what works for you. The important thing to note is that, in terms of creating a self sustaining resilient system for self management - you need a garbage control system.
So - resilience, existentialism and self mastery - recognise that we all exist in three domains and that in each domain there is work required to establish and then maintain a sustainable system for BEing. Know that there is no one cure all answer - that you have to find your own answers but the blueprint for a sustainable system is readily available - you just need to fill in the blanks.
In peace and love always.
(Image credit Jimmy Deguara)
There are tribes in the Amazon that believe the world is as you dream it – to change the World therefore you must first change the dream. The Australian aboriginals believe that all was created in a mystical time called The Dreamtime when spirits roamed the Earth creating all before them. As one walks through the Australian desert Aboriginal elders can explain how aspects of the country were created by telling the Dreamtime stories.
From a Quantum Physics perspective the World is infinite potential. Wave forms turn into particles through observation but the interdeterminancy principle says that the more we try to define their exact location and momentum the less exact becomes the result. Heisenberg said that we cannot know as a matter of principle, the present in all its details.
The more you know then about where you are the less awareness you have of the flow. The more aware you are of being in the flow the less aware you are of where you are.
Welcome to the World of uncertainty.
I dream I am the dreamer and the dreamer is dreaming me.
The more I try and remember the dream the more it slips away from me and the more I try to dream the less I actually do.
If you accept that we are constantly creating our reality then could we be dreaming ourselves into being? Neuroscientists say that we are processing many millions of bits of information per second but the conscious mind is only able to process about 2000 bits. What happens to the rest of it then? And what happens when we sleep? Is it possible that everything just switches off and shuts down? Or could it be that as we sleep we are still constantly creating our World?
I dream I am the dreamer and the dreamer is dreaming me.
Jung suggested that our earliest childhood dreams play a part in shaping our entire lives.
Could we assume then that our dreaming body is creating or at least helping to create whatever we have in our lives right now?
And what if we are not happy with what we’ve got? Could it be possible to change it?
Once we’ve done all the conscious things we can do to change our lives – like exercising more, eating better, working harder, thinking and planning more – does there come a time to simply step beyond this?
The Sangomas of Africa are the traditional tribal healers and shamans. They believe that we are guided in this life by our ancestors and one of the primary training techniques for Sangomas is to become more open to their dreams. They use Muthis (medicinal plants) to help them to connect to their dreams and to be able to ‘hear’ the guidance from their ancestors.
For the Sangoma, living in harmony in this World is very much about living in alignment with their dreaming body and the guidance from their ancestors. They believe that one who fails to listen to the guidance of their ancestors will receive a ‘knock on the head’ to get them to pay attention and then if this doesn’t work then the ancestors will slowly take away their support. What this means is that they would slowly lose everything – material possessions and relationships included.
If I am the dreamer and the dreamer is dreaming me and I am not happy with what I am getting then who should change - me or the dreamer?
Of the 2000 bits of information per second we consciously process, Joe Dispenza D.C. author of ‘Evolve Your Brain’, proposes that this is focussed on only three things – ourselves, our environment and time. Am I hot or cold, happy or sad, hungry or satisfied, where am I now, is it cold outside, what’s going to happen next?
In my dreaming state do I think of more than this?
Surely I do. Beyond the bounds of rationality out there in the realm of anything is possible where I can fly like an Eagle and change shape into other beings at will, I can create whole other Worlds.
Then what place has this material World?
String Theory is an attempt to reconcile quantum mechanics and general relativity. It suggests that there are at least 11 dimensions of space time all interwoven that describe our reality.
Shamans suggest that in altered states we can cross over into other states of being. How different is this from the notion of String Theory and how could we actually apply it to our World?
What if I suggested that the dreaming body is far more aware than our conscious mind? Would it make sense then that we could benefit by getting in touch with it?
Could we shift the process of visioning from being a thinking rational thing into the task of simply aligning the dreaming body and the physical body?
I am the dreamer and I am the dream.
So here is where I am now and with conscious process I can work out where I want to be over there. I can THINK about what I want to have. I can THINK about how I want to be emotionally. I can THINK about how I want to be physically. I can THINK about how I want to be spiritually.
I can draw pictures of my Vision. I can cut things out of magazines and pin them up on my wall. I can work out a plan with neat little steps. I can close my eyes and visualise myself walking around in my Vision.
But what if my dreamer is not aligned? What if my dreamer is not dreaming my Vision? Who will win? Me as my conscious self capable of exquisitely processing the 2000 odd bits of information per second I have available or my dreaming body capable of doing who knows what whilst it is flying across the Andes on the wings of a Dragon?
There are moments in destiny that cannot be avoided. Steps on the path when all things line up in a perfect order. To THINK that we can plan for these events to happen as we determine seems a bit absurd.
But surely we can place a request? Plant a seed? Imagine a possibility? Align with an essence?
And then what?
Shhh…
Listen.
Listen to the whisper of your soul. Listen to the birds that sing you a song of joy. Be attentive as the wind blows against your cheek. Feel the tiniest little urge to go this way or that.
Trust that your dreamer is always on your side.
Have faith that there is a path before you that stretches beyond thinking. Let go of the ‘how’ of getting from here to there and embrace the flow instead.
The form of what we try to create in this life is not the key. It is the essence. Often we can get hung up on the what and the how and neglect the pure feeling of our vision.
Simply recognising that there is far more to existence than the narrow band that conscious thinking presents to us opens up a much wider range of possibilities. Actively engaging our dreaming body in the dance of life allows a crack in the Universe to open up.
Think back through your life of the significant dreams you have had. Is it possible that your dreams were trying to guide you in some way? Is it possible that you could become open to listening to your dreams in future?
Simply allowing the possibility is the first step.
Be comfortable in uncertainty and believe in your self.
Because I am the dreamer and so are you.
"I must not fear.
Fear is the mind killer.
Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration."
‘Litany against fear’ from Frank Herbert’s Dune
It happened in a millisecond like some giant hand had slapped the bike from under him. But some part of his mind had already slowed the whole scene down. Stretching time like a rubber band, making a mockery of the ridiculous notion of linear metaphysics. And there, buried deep in his psyche, long forgotten, was a memory.
A memory riddled with fear that instantly leapt into his stomach and began stabbing him from the inside out.
Could it be true? He asked as his body plunged towards imminent contact with the wooden boardwalk. Could it really be true? Had he lived the last ten years in fear?
“I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.”
Before he had a chance to contemplate the answer he crashed hips first onto the boardwalk with a sickening thud.
His breath was smashed out of him and it was all he could do to protect his unhelmeted head. The memory vanished, replaced by pain and an accompanying breathlessness.
“Are you alright down there?”
The voice was strangely familiar, the young man shielded his eyes from the sunlight to see who had spoken to him.
Impossible! It was the old man from the café.
“Sometimes it takes a knock to the head before we start listening” he said.
“How the…” the young man began but before he could complete his sentence the old man was pulling him to his feet.
“The mystery” he said “Embrace the mystery, let go of your need to know”
The young man staggered to his feet, the pain shooting down his leg.
“Fear will send you running from the mystery to hide back in your box where it is safe. Where you know where the boundaries are, where you can sit in judgement of others. But then where does that leave you?”
The young man was still trying to grasp the fact that the mysterious old man had appeared out of nowhere and was now once again nailing him on his issues as if he had read his mind.
The old man laughed, “In a box of course!” and he laughed again, a deep belly laugh that rose up from within him. He slapped the young man on the back, “and who wants to live in a box?” he asked.
The young man felt the stabbing pain in his stomach again and the anger welled up within him. The silly old man was crazy and his words were nothing but clichés!
“You don’t understand” he said “my fears are real and I do need to protect myself”
The old man laughed again as if that was the funniest thing he had heard in a long time but it simply made the young man even angrier.
“It’s not funny!” he said “you wander the streets like a homeless person without a care in the world but I have responsibilities. I have to deal with possibilities. I have to deal with reality!”
“And has it actually happened yet?” The old man was suddenly calm and his stillness quietened the young man as his anger subsided.
“No” he admitted.
“In the future” began the old man “the fearful being – the demon, competes with the aspirational being – the dragon – for life. Which one will you feed?” he asked
“You are right that you have responsibilities. But what’s real is not what hasn’t happened yet. What’s real is that only you can save yourself. Only you can choose. Only you can claim your freedom by choosing to exercise your will.
Your intentions are within your control. The future is not. But the future is not written yet so will you feed your dragon or your demon?
Remember that fear cannot live in the same place as love. Choose to be in a space of love and there will be no fear. Choose to focus on your fears and they will grow. The choice is yours.”
“Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.”
In peace and love always.
Read other posts that feature the Wise Old Man
"Excellence then, is not an act it’s a habit”
Aristotle
A month can go very fast but hopefully you’ve had some time to water the seeds of intent that were planted in Part 1 [41] of Life as a Project.
It’s easy to get caught up in the ‘old’ routines – before you know it a week has passed by then a month, then a year, then…
Little things accumulate and some things have a much bigger impact and flow on effect that you would imagine. One of the keys then to the success of your project is to find these little things – find the leverage points.
Your two tasks from last month were firstly to establish a daily routine that will help you work with intention, focus and perpetual priming. Your second key task was to get clear about what it is that you actually want.
Now you need to make it clear and simple then identify the leverage points.
TASK #1 – GET CLEAR
Ideally you should now have an overall statement of Intent for the year, a ‘BEing statement’ and a ‘DOing list’ for the 5 areas of Vision. My suggestion now is to get it on to 1 page – this can either be typed up like the sample below – or get out the kids coloured pencils and draw it up with as much colour and life as you can.
Now take this piece of paper and stick it up somewhere you will see it on a regular basis – for example your wardrobe door, bathroom mirror, fridge – whatever works for you.
This piece of paper is to remind you what your intent is for the year and to bring your focus back to what is most important.
TASK #2 – FIND THE LEVERAGE POINTS
Not all effort is rewarded in the same way.
If you’ve ever played the block building game Jenga you will know that when faced with the task of pulling a block from the bottom of the tower and placing it gently on the top, some blocks hold no weight whilst others will cause the tower to tumble – the trick is to work out which is which.
Same with your Vision and the impact on your Project.
The five areas of Vision and interconnected and interdependent but they are not equal. You need to look carefully through your BEing statements and DOing lists and try to find the bits that cross over and impact on other parts.
For instance, I was working with someone the other day and their overall intent was to be calm and clear. They recognised that they were most powerful at work when they could coach and support their team in a calm considerate manner. They knew that they were most productive with clients when they were not time pressured or stressed. They knew that their intimate relationships were much better when they were able to be fully present and not caught up in work issues.
But they were financially pressured so logically they reasoned that the best way to move forward was to work a little harder so as to get to a place where they would not be so stressed and THEN they would be able to be more present, calm and clear.
The only problem with this rational solution was that the more the person worked, the more stressed and time pressured they were so the less calm and clear they were and hence the less able they were to support their team and the less present they were to their family.
I’m sure you can see the cycle here.
The key then is to find the leverage points.
In this example – the ideal state of BEing is to be calm and clear. Calm and clear leads to more productive work, better leadership and better relationships.
Priorities then need to shift in order – Calm and Clear needs to be near the top.
The key question then is – What do you need to DO to be calm and clear?
The simple answer in this case was – sleep better, get up early, go for a walk and meditate then have breakfast with the family.
The leverage point for the success of the Project occurs at 5.30 am every morning when the alarm goes off and there is a choice to be made between getting up and going for a walk or pressing the snooze button and going back to sleep.
So – identify your leverage points.
TASK #3 – CREATE HABITS THAT SUPPORT YOU
Now you know what you want and have identified some key leverage points the final task for the month is to begin creating habits that support you.
Lots of research work has been done on habits in recent times because of the recognition of how little things accumulate over time to have massive and long lasting impacts on our way of being.
A great book to read is ‘The Power of Habit – Why we do what we do and how to change’ by Charles Duhigg – see the website http://charlesduhigg.com/ [42]
There are also many many examples of extremely successful people who have lifelong habits including Nelson Mandela whose morning exercise routine was a key element in enabling him to endure what he went through.
My suggestion to you is:-
1. Identify the 1 key habit that would have the greatest leverage in your life
2. Set a goal for the month – e.g. morning walk 12 times out of 20 week days for the month
3. Establish a trigger (e.g. alarm goes off), a routine (e.g. roll out of bed, put on clothes that are already laid out, drink a glass of water, walk out the door) and a reward (e.g. cooked breakfast, fresh juice, even take the kids out for brekkie)
THE LAST BIT
3 tasks for the month
1. Get clear
2. Find the leverage points
3. Create habits that support you
Remember too that this builds on the previous month so you also need to be working with Intent and strengthening your daily practice.
1. In the morning ask ‘What’s my intent?’
2. In the evening ask ‘What did I do right today?’
And don’t forget to PLAY !
In peace and love always.
Read Part 1 [41] or Part 3 [43]
"Nothing exists that does not change”
If you have been following the first two ‘Life as a Project’ (Part #1 [41], Part #2 [33]) posts you should now have:-
- an overall statement of Intent for the year
- a Being statement and a Doing list for the 5 areas of Vision
- identified some key leverage points and are working on healthy habits
- a daily practice dedicated to YOU and ideally incorporating setting Intention in the morning
and directing your Focus in the evening.
Your key task now is to manage your 3 selves.
I know this sounds kind of weird as we all like to think that we are in fact an integrated being, however as the quote above points out – Nothing exists that does not change – we are not static beings we are ever changing and evolving.
The temporal nature of existence means that we are actually existing in three states – the Past, Present and Future.
In the Future is our Aspirational Being – this is who we aspire to be, it is where our Vision, Values and dreams live. In the Past is our Constructed Being – who we have decided we are based on the stories we, and others, tell about ourselves, our experiences and our understanding of how the world works and our place in it. In the Present is our Free Being – the part of us that, ideally, is free to choose what we want to DO in response to the life events that confront us in every moment.
In these three states there is work to do – see other posts on this including ‘Walking Between the Worlds’ [44].
If things are going ‘bad’ the three circles will interact like this diagram below.
So, you will feel negative about things and maybe ask the questions, ‘Why bother?’ ‘What’s the use?’ etc
Note that in the first two parts of ‘Life as a Project’ you should have already done some work in the Future circle and should now be clearer about your Vision and Values. You should have also started to do some work in the Present with your Daily Practice and healthy habits.
If things are going ‘Good’ the circles will look more like this diagram below.
Note that the critical thing in all of this in my experience is ‘Relaxed, self-assured and confident’ – in other words BELIEF.
You have clarity about what you aspire to create, you’re doing the work to let go of past blocks and you are nurturing yourself in the present with good healthy habits and a solid daily practice.
So, back to managing your 3 selves…
Once you know what you want to create and have clarity about who you aspire to BE then your task is to be PRESENT to every moment and manage the ALIGNMENT of your 3 selves. Put simply the success of your Project is dependent on how good you are at getting your 3 selves to work together in HARMONY :)
The first step in this is doing the ‘work’ in the Past and the Future so you have clarity. Once you have done this you can graduate to the Present and the challenge of embracing windows of opportunity.
“All of us, whether or not we are warriors, have a cubic centimetre of chance that pops out in front of our eyes from time to time. The difference between an average man and a warrior is that the warrior is aware of this, and one of his tasks is to be alert, deliberately waiting, so that when his cubic centimetre pops out he has the necessary speed, the prowess, to pick it up.”
Carlos Castaneda in ‘Journey to Ixtlan’
Note the significance of this quote is that if you don’t know what you are looking for or don’t even know that you should be looking then even if something jumps out and smacks you in the face you are not going to know what to do about it…
So, the task for this month is to lay these templates over your ‘Life Project’ and see where you have gaps that need some attention. Consider the whole notion of alignment and ask yourself where in your life you are unconsciously creating and perpetuating an old past non-supportive pattern. Ask yourself instead what it is that you really want and what you need to DO right now to be aligned to that.
And don’t forget to PLAY !
In peace and love always.
“We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.”
Carlos Castaneda
Here’s a confronting question – Maybe you just don’t know how to be happy? – Ouch!
There’s such an amazing amount of research into happiness that you’d think all of us should be mind blowingly happy all of the time – but alas that is just not so. Depression and suicide lurk in the background of many situations. Even celebrities and star sports people seem to be afflicted by unhappiness and existential angst that can lead to bad outcomes. What’s sad is that often we don’t learn the truth until it’s too late – which of course feeds the cynicism that says that all the smiles and laughs are just a put on.
I’d bet most of us too would say that if we suddenly found ourselves in the lap of luxury or the face of fame we would be gloriously happy but the truth can be far from this. You see happiness appears to be more about habit than many other things.
Let me ask you this – Who do you know who is really happy? And what does happiness actually look like to you? See most of us tend to focus on the getting of things – unfortunately this is a consequence of the utilitarian paradigm under which we live. We can focus on getting a nice big house, buying a new car, even obsessing about all the little toys and trinkets that some say we need to live successfully in our modern world. But does the receipt of the latest iPhone make you happy? Does buying a new outfit make you happy? Does buying a new car make you happy? Maybe but only for a little while – just until the aura has worn off then it’s onto the next fix.
The problem with obsessing about things is that whilst you are striving for the achievement of those things you are not really living in the present moment and so what drives you on is the focus on the outcome. As soon as you get to the outcome you lose what you have been striving for and so instead of feeling deep satisfaction often what you feel inside is emptiness – until of course you find something else to strive for and then it’s back onto the treadmill again.
So – happiness as a habit. What have you habitually learned to be? Were your parents happy and did they bring you up to focus on the good things in life and be grateful, never wasting moment to complain or whine about anything? Or did they struggle and did they tell you that life was a struggle? Did you learn to struggle? Did you learn to focus on the struggle? As you have grown older does your conversation with others focus on struggle? Do you complain habitually about your day, your boss, the bad drivers on the road, the silly politicians, your lack of money, the lack of love in your life, the annoying people you had to serve at work? Does your struggle then become your justification for behaving badly, treating others badly, using drugs or alcohol to escape from your life?
I bet you think that – if only x would happen then I could be happy but since x hasn’t happened I can’t be happy so I won’t even try… where x could be winning the lotto, finding love, getting a new job etc
But is this true? Research into lotto winners finds that if you are poor when you win the lotto your chances of becoming poor again are very high. Waiting for something to happen before you can step up to the plate so to speak just doesn’t work.
So – back to the question – Maybe you just don’t know how to be happy?
Maybe you have been enduring a long drawn out conflict of some sort which has given you ample justification for bitching and moaning about life – and paradoxically – ample justification for washing your sorrows away with whatever form of sorrow solvent you can find. And – of course – it will attract to you people who will delight in hearing about your woes as it makes their woes feel better – all of which becomes a habit.
Happy people do some very specific things to habitually make themselves happy. First, they take responsivity for their own happiness – waiting for someone else to do something is entirely disempowering. They understand that happiness is holistic – it needs management of the physical, emotional, spiritual, material and mental self. Next they manage their focus – choosing to remember the good stuff and doing their best to let go of the bad stuff – this is the challenge of the remembering self versus the experiencing self. Then they manage the story they tell themselves about life’s events – this is positive psychology a la Martin Seligman – and the difference between being an optimist and a pessimist. Finally they do their best to get into flow – this is a state where you are able to lose yourself in what you are doing – doesn’t matter what you just need to be so into something that it allows for you to escape yourself. And all of this needs to be done habitually and repeatedly to feed into a happiness habit that will survive the harshest of existential storms.
So – again – Do you know how to be happy? Do you know what it looks like and feels like? Do you know what you need to do repeatedly and habitually to make that happen? If so, are you doing it? If not, why not?
In peace and love always.
"Myth weaves the World into being."
Daniel Pinchbeck
The old lady stood staring at the photograph lost in thought. So many years ago she had stood at this same spot wondering where her life would lead. Now six decades later she had outlived two husbands, her children and step children had grown to middle age and so many young ones called her 'Nana' that at times she had trouble remembering their names.
But what should have been a time of peace and serenity had been tainted by loneliness and worry. At night she went to bed early but slept fitfully awoken by memories of the past. The images that haunted her dreams were filled with regret and taunted her with the question of 'Why?'
"It takes great courage to walk that path"
The woman was startled by the man's voice and it took her a moment to regain her senses and bring her mind back to the present. She looked back at the photograph and then glanced cautiously at the man who now stood next to her.
He didn't meet her gaze but remained staring at the photograph.
"Who would have thought at the beginning of the journey that we would pick up so much baggage along the way?" he asked rhetorically "and now here we are near the end of our lives with opportunities in front of us that we could never have dreamed of and yet we hesitate out of fear."
The old woman didn't know what to say. Who was this silver haired man and why was he speaking as if he had read her mind?
The man glanced now at the woman knowing he had piqued her interest. He smiled ever so slightly.
"The courage we had in our youth is not lost only forgotten. You see as we get older and learn more we think we know more but this is not true. As children we know the ultimate truth - that the World is a mystery. A mystery that we will never understand. And although we know we will never understand it we never stop trying to because we are driven by our innate curiosity for the very essence of life itself.
As we get older though a funny thing happens to us. We forget that the World is a mystery and instead we start to believe that we really can work it out. And there lies the paradox. Knowledge is not wisdom. The very thing that we seek traps us into a never ending spiral of thought. Our desire to release ourselves from the fear of the unknown compels us to think about the possibilities more and more. But we forget the most essential truth - the mystery of the World and the truth that we will never truly understand."
The man's words had touched the old woman's heart. A glimmer of light now shone into her soul.
"How do I remember?" she asked.
The old man chuckled quietly and turned back to look at the photograph.
"Just let go" he said "There is nothing to be done with the past except to make peace with it. You don't need to know 'why' things happened you just need to accept it and surrender. Only by letting go of the past and making yourself as light as possible will you find the courage that you fear you have lost. Underneath all of the baggage from the past lies your will. Peace lies in letting go of the need to know. Courage to move boldly forwards on your journey will come from letting go of the worry and having faith that no matter what happens it will be perfect."
As the man spoke the heavy weight that had plagued the woman began to lift and as it did so she realised that it had crept up on her over the years so slowly that she had not even realised that she was carrying it. Her rounded shoulders straightened ever so slightly, her chin lifted and her chest opened up to allow the breath to enter freely.
A smile crossed her lips as she thought of the journey ahead. Turning to thank the old man for his words of wisdom she saw that he was gone and slowly she laughed. A laugh so free that it made her feel light on her feet and suddenly she knew what it was to feel alive again.
In peace and love always.
Read other posts that feature the Wise Old Man
I Must Not Fear [45]
"Nobody grows old by living a number of years
we grow old by deserting our ideals. Years may
wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm
wrinkles the soul.”
Samuel Ullman, poet.
A little while ago I wrote an article called ‘Ode to the Petty Tyrant’ [46]which discussed the process of dealing with a Petty Tyrant – someone who usually has some unbreakable connection to you which they use against you – e.g. the other parent of your child, your boss, or even a relative.
Well it seems that Petty Tyrants are alive and active in the world because since that article was written many people have contacted me and shared their petty tyrant stories and many of them have asked what to do about it.
It’s easy to write, as I did, “Do you have enough trust and faith to let go of the fear that the truth will not prevail? If you can rise to that challenge then you can give thanks for the gift that the petty tyrant has brought to you.”
But words are cheap – many have relayed stories about being on the edge and not knowing what to do – so in practical terms here are some ideas.
Step 1 – and this is often the hardest one – Take Responsibility…
“I have an existential map, it has ‘You are here’ written all over it.”
Steven Wright
Oh yes I know it’s much more tempting to fall into victim mode and say “Oh poor me” but where does that leave you? Completely disempowered and unable to move forwards that’s where.
Taking responsibility simply means accepting that you played a role in creating this situation. As abhorrent as that may be – given the distress you may be feeling now – failure to accept your part will only trap you in an endless loop of “Why me?”.
Step 2 – Stop Beating Yourself Up
“Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.”
Carl Bard
Now, taking responsibility also doesn’t mean beating yourself up for what you have done. Questions like “Why did I do this?” and self-deprecating statements like “I’m such an idiot” aren’t going to be useful.
Likewise, self-harming type behaviours like trying to drink yourself to oblivion, picking fights with others much bigger than you, and other peculiarities of the human condition, won’t help either. But note that if you do have a bender please resist the temptation to get up in the morning and beat yourself up about it.
Stopping beating yourself up goes hand in hand with unconditional love of self. Whatever has happened in the past can’t be changed – saying to yourself “Even though xxx has happened and I’m really disappointed in myself I choose to love and forgive myself anyway” may help.
Step 3 – Move
Martin Luther King made a great statement about the “paralysis of analysis” and it’s relevant here. Saying ‘take responsibility’ and ‘stop beating yourself up’ is easy but doing it can be much more difficult so MOVE.
If you’re in a Petty Tyrant type situation there’s probably a lot of emotional energy flowing around – you need to shift it and no amount of thinking about this will help – so MOVE.
Whenever you feel overwhelmed by what’s happening – MOVE.
Bilateral therapy is what happens when you talk about stuff as you are walking. Because you are going left foot, right foot, left foot etc. – your brain is switching back and forth between the left and right hemispheres so if you are talking about something at the same time it is shifting back and forth and giving you some different perspectives – so MOVE.
Step 4 – Strengthen Your Daily Practice
“Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together.”
Vincent Van Gogh
Petty Tyrants play power games and power games revolve around getting someone to RE-ACT.
Your task – if you choose to accept it – is to strengthen your will so that you do not react. Your task is to find ways to access your power though the freedom to choose.
“All of us, whether or not we are warriors, have a cubic centimetre of chance that pops out in front of our eyes from time to time. The difference between an average man and a warrior is that the warrior is aware of this, and one of his tasks is to be alert, deliberately waiting, so that when his cubic centimetre pops out he has the necessary speed, the prowess, to pick it up.”
Carlos Castaneda
Your daily practice is your opportunity to look after yourself and strengthen your will. At a minimum your daily practice should include three things:-
1. Setting Intention in the morning
- How do I want to be today? – this gives you the chance to be proactive
2. Monitoring Internal Dialogue
- observing the story that you are telling yourself during the course of the day – checking whether this is aligned to your intention and making sure you aren’t beating yourself up
3. Managing Focus and Being Grateful
- at the end of the day ask ‘What did I do right today?’, ‘What went well today?’, and ‘What am I grateful for?’
Petty Tyrants give us the opportunity to test our will and strengthen ourselves – saying thanks to them or for them is an amazingly empowering thing to do.
Step 5 – Be Impeccable
“It’s easy for the impotent man to take a vow of chastity and for the poor to renounce wealth.”
Buddha
If you’ve ever read any of the Toltec teachings or Castaneda’s work you will recognise the need to be impeccable.
Impeccability means walking your talk – and specifically it means living and acting on your values. This raises the question of what your values are in the first place and again here you have an opportunity to say thanks to the petty tyrant for forcing you to clarify your values and ask what it is you cherish most dearly in life. Key universal values include freedom, truth, empathy, equality, impartiality and love. Upon identifying what’s most important in your life the critical question is ‘What does this look like in practice?’.
Petty Tyrants want you to RE-ACT remember, so they will taunt and provoke you to try and get you to do things that will violate your values and make you the villain. They of course will claim that any questionable actions they take are entirely justifiable. The key justification they will use is called ‘Condemning the condemner’ – which put simply says “You think I’m bad but you should see them”.
Their key strategy then is to make you reactive and angry so you do something which violates your values so they can say “See, I told you you’re bad – look what you’ve done now” – and of course be able to repeat this accusation to others to reinforce their position as the victim.
Step 6 – Manage Your Breakdowns
“The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling down but in rising every time we fall.”
Nelson Mandela (in reference to Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky)
If you think you’re going to deal with a really good petty tyrant and not lose it occasionally then frankly you’re delusional…
Have a breakdown process ready to go for such an occasion. The two key words to remember are Acknowledge and Redirect.
Acknowledge that you are having a breakdown – in the form of being reactive and acting out of alignment with your stated intention – make sure it is just an acknowledgement – not a self-berating monologue such as “You bloody idiot…”
Then when you’ve acknowledged you’re out of alignment the next step is Redirect – redirect here means redirecting your attention by asking “What do I want?” or more specifically “What do I want to create?” in terms of the values you’ve identified and what these values look like in reality?
We are endlessly creating our world in every moment of every single day. The eternal truth that is taught over and over again in spiritual teachings is that everything changes all the time. Petty tyrants can needle and prod and provoke us in extremely uncomfortable ways. They can also make us do things that with the benefit of hindsight we regret. But they can also teach us lessons about ourselves and provide us with opportunities for growth that we could never have created without them. These six steps are some suggestions for helping you as you move forwards. They are by no means a cure all or an exhaustive list but they will help you as you go through the process.
“…for there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”
William Shakespeare, Hamlet Act 2, Scene 2
In peace and love always.
"Sweet are the uses of adversity
which like the toad ugly and venomous
wears yet a precious jewel in his head."
Act 2, Scene 1, 'As You Like It' William Shakespeare
Your goal is power over others. Your need arises from a deep seated lack of self worth and self love. Your method is manipulation. Your currency is fear and guilt.
You are the boss who subtly takes credit for another's work, not by claiming it outright but by simply failing to correct an incorrect assumption.
You are the ex husband who uses money as a way to manipulate and control your ex wife, the one who you supposedly loved and probably still do. You are the ex wife who uses the children to get back at your ex husband by making them doubt their own father.
You will never attack me directly, or choose to fight in public for your public face and ever so often trotted out story is the one of the victim. "Oh poor me" you wail to all who will listen "You'll never guess what so and so has done now..."
You lead me to the brink of despair. How can these people believe such lies? Surely the truth must come out?
You temp me to buy into anger but I know this is exactly what you want. An outburst of mine, a wrongful deed, a harsh word, would all be met with a scream of pain from the roof tops as you called people to your cause.
You are the petty tyrant. Your game is not a nice one and you cause me many hours of anguish as I deal with the question of why I have called you into my life.
But I see now that you have a purpose. I see now the gift that you have come to bring me. In taunting and harassing me in such an unfair and underhanded way you have shown me my edges. You have pushed my buttons and shown me the weak spots in my character. You have made me ask myself questions that I didn't even know I should ask. You have made me clarify what it is I believe in and most importantly what I am willing to do about it.
But you have also shown me the darkness. Star Wars and the Empire Strikes Back flashes into my mind as I think of what you do. Darth Vader is tormenting Luke as they battle with light sabres on some futuristic floating space station "Feel your anger Luke" he says.
To heal your darkness first you have to feel it. You're never going to feel it sitting in peace and comfort on your own. In Carlos Castaneda's books about the Yaqui Indian Sorcerer Don Juan, he talks about Petty Tyrants and how import it is for the warrior to find a good one. The more impossible, the more unreasonable the better. And preferably one who has some sort of grip of power over you - yes a parent of the child you love, the co-owner of a business or asset, your boss at work.
Petty Tyrants are one of our greatest teachers on the path to enlightenment. By needling us and tormenting us in the most unsavoury way they tempt us to react in anger but in reacting we give away our power and buy into their game.
Power is the ability to seize the moment of opportunity and choose how you wish to act. Choose to act from a space of love not fear.
"The sage battles his own ego; the fool battles everyone else's."
Pir Vilayat, Sufi Master
The gift that you know you need to give a petty tyrant - the one that they crave the most but will never ask for - the one that you will be most unwilling to give, even though you know you should - is love. Pure and simple - love.
Their pain arises from a lack of love. Their story is one of being bad. Their salvation is of showing you that you are worse. By tormenting you and provoking you until you crack they show themselves that they are better than you. But it's not really what they want - who is the worst is not an empowering question to ask - nor does it fulfil their need in any meaningful or long lasting way. Soon their lack of love and intense self criticism will raise its ugly head again and they will seek another round of the game.
Are you willing to keep playing?
Or is it time to say "STOP!"
Re-activeness will hold you in it - even though their tactics are unfair and their lies hurt most deeply. Seeking to expose them and take them on will never work because to beat them you must lower yourself to their level of deceit and dishonour. Lies do not cancel out lies, rumour does not negate rumour, hate does not deny hate, anger will not quell anger.
Love really is divine power. But love must be consciously chosen. Power must be held with an open heart. Freedom must be granted. Action needs to be taken.
In the maelstrom of emotional chaos that arises when confronted with a petty tyrant it is easy to react with anger. "Why me? This is so unfair! These lies are untrue! This person is deceitful!"
The challenge that the petty tyrant places before you is a great one. In the midst of the chaos can you find the courage to hold an open heart, to choose what it is you want and to act in alignment with that wish and from a place of love?
Do you have enough trust and faith to let go of the fear that the truth will not prevail?
If you can rise to that challenge then you can give thanks for the gift that the petty tyrant has brought to you.
"But strange that I was not told
That the brain can hold
In a tiny ivory cell
God's heaven or hell."
Oscar Wilde
In peace and love always.
Read "Ode to the Petty Tyrant - Part Two" [47]
New book 'The Art of Remembering Who You Really Are'now available on Amazon [35]
[35]
"One should not avoid one's tests, although they are
perhaps the most dangerous game one could play and are in the end
tests which are taken before ourselves and before no other judge."
Beyond Good and Evil, Nietzsche
My apologies for the lack of posts recently. I have been grappling with my own dramas and coming to terms with a whole new existential expansion.
If you've read by books and blog posts you will know that over the past few years in particular I've faced a few challenges. Many times during these periods I've asked that fatal question "Why me?"
"Why is this happening to me?" "Why can't I just have a nice easy life like many others?" "Why the drama?"
Unfortunately what compounds that is my belief that we create our own reality - hence we must take responsibility for what we are attracting into our lives. And yes I know there's a whole fate question bound up in there somewhere and in recent times I've come to the conclusion that we do indeed choose the circumstances of our lives - that in fact life is about expansion or what I would call ascension. By choosing the circumstances of our lives and then conveniently forgetting why we chose them before we incarnate we begin from a whole new starting point. Hence my post "The Art of Remembering Who You Really Are".
So, what's my point here?
Well - basically where I've got to is "Step up buddy! You created this so own it!"
"One cannot learn wisdom by sitting at
another's feet. One must live one's own life,
make one's own mistakes, feel one's own ecstasy
to learn the true meaning of existence,
for it is different in each individual.
Fall down, get up, do it all
over again in another context.
Experience. And learn.
That's the only way."
The Ninja, Eric Van Lustbader
I've had a great urge recently to fight against what's been appearing in my life. To run away from the challenges that I've faced. To get ANGRY about what's been happening. To ask the question of what am I doing WRONG?
Yeah sure - wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong WRONG! What's WRONG with me? Why is this happening to me?
Hear the fight? Hear the anger?
By fighting against I dis-empower myself and become simply RE-ACTIVE to what's going on - giving my power away to others.
I pulled a Medicine Card on all this - Snake - Transmutation - People with snake medicine have been bitten many times (yep that's me...) so much so that they are able to transmute any poison be it physical, emotional or spiritual. Sure ok...
So, instead of fighting against I sucked it up, pulled it towards me and transmuted it into something better, something loving, something more aligned to what I believe in.
I owned my experience and I slowly came to embrace the idea that ALL life experiences are equal - good and bad. With more work on acceptance and release I finally began to find a way out of my self imposed prison.
Faith.
"Embrace the Freedom that comes from having
complete Faith that what you are getting right now is Perfect"
Total release and surrender.
And now I can go forth and speak by truth with an open heart totally releasing any worries about what others will think about me - for I am at peace with who I am.
Talk is easy action takes courage.
"Life shrinks or expands
in proportion to one's courage."
Anais Nin
In peace and love always.
"The problem of determining surely and universally which action would promote happiness of a rational being is completely insoluble… happiness is not an ideal of reason but of the imagination.”
Immanuel Kant
If you’ve ever studied ethics in any form you have most likely come up against Immanuel Kant, German Philosopher and key figure in the creation of Universalist ethical thinking and author of the dreaded ‘categorical imperative’…
Kant would have us believe, as noted above, that the application of the rational mind to the pursuit of happiness is a futile exercise due to the irrational nature of happiness. Duly noted… but are there some things that we can ‘do’ to help us release the magical Genie out of the bottle and help us on our way to happiness?
This is not a be all and end all post on happiness – many books and theses have been written on the subject – rather it’s an observation from someone who has struggled with happiness and seen others struggle, sometimes to the point of despair…
So, let’s call it a sharing of experiences.
So, first up I’d point out that it’s a holistic systemic issue – you can’t deal with one bit in isolation, you need to address the whole. By whole I mean all the parts of what it is to be human – physical, mental, emotional, material, spiritual.
In the diagram you will see that everything effects everything else so the first thing you need to do once you’ve decided that you are going to have a crack at this happiness thing is define it – what are you actually trying to create?, what does good look like?, what would it look like if you were actually happy?
Let’s hear from Kant again,
“The concept of happiness is such an indeterminate concept, that, although every human being wishes to attain this, he can still never say determinately and consistently with himself what he really wishes and wills.”
Immanuel Kant
Oh…
Ok so first up – get with the program – everything changes… what you really want and need and wish for will change throughout the course of your life so you won’t answer this question once you will answer it over and over again. But, you can do some work on essence rather than form.
For example – physical – essence can be “I want to feel comfortable about my physical form. Be pleased with who I am and have enough energy and well-being to do what I wish to do.”
Note that this is very different to – form – “I want to be 65kg, have a body fat percentage of 12% and be able to fit into size 10 clothing…”
Essence means go for the feeling not the form. Feeling is about energy – you can’t see feelings, you feel them – yeah I know derr it’s obvious right but how often do we feel unhappy and then try to work it out by engaging the rational mind?
Physical effects all of the other parts of self.
Physical exercise is shown in studies to have a positive effect on well-being and happiness pretty much on par with drug type therapies (you can Google the research).
Here’s a picture to demonstrate
Want to be happy? Exercise or at least move.
Physical issues also affect happiness through other pathways.
• Food allergies – affect mood (http://extrahappiness.com/happiness/?p=1948 [48])
• Different foods can lift your mood – see the article by Sandra Dubs http://www.ozfoodtrainer.com/index.php/what-s-hot/16-food-to-lift-your-mood [49]
• Parasites – google parasites and happiness and you will see the link between the two and possibly get paranoid about the little critters crawling around inside of you…
• Places – see “How room designs effect your work and mood” http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/building-around-the-mind/ [50]
A commitment to happiness means a commitment to action – little things accumulate – little things means little habits – for instance something as simple as avoiding chocolate donuts if you work out after years and years (like I did) that even though they taste great as they go down, a little while later their gift is a deeply negative mood…
The key process here is:-
1. What do you want? What does good look like and feel like?
2. Self assess – where are you at out of 10?
3. Are you doing anything that’s undermining your own happiness? e.g. eating the wrong foods? Feeding your parasites? Allowing yourself to be in physical environments that don’t serve you?
4. What little things do you need to habitually DO to BE who you want to BE? e.g. daily yoga, walk, bike ride etc
Let’s move on to mental.
Physical effects mental remember so if you’re feeling down and out and unmotivated a good starting point is often the physical side of life. Once you’ve moved and got the brain engaged then it’s a good time to address the mental side.
The mental side comes down to an enduring battle between the rational mind and its self-appointed role as commander and chief, and the intuitive, sensing part of the brain. A lot of the ‘to do’ part of happiness comes down to training the brain in little habitual processes that will allow it to self-manage.
See Daniel Kahneman’s TED talk “The riddle of experience vs memory” http://www.ted.com/talks/daniel_kahneman_the_riddle_of_experience_vs_memory [51]
Bottom line is – you can have great happy experiences but if the remembering self chooses not to remember these experiences then you will be an unhappy person. Your task is to direct your attention.
So – trick #1 – teach the brain to habitually remember the good experiences – every day at the end of the day ask yourself “What did I do right today?” and/or “What am I happy about today and what am I grateful for?”
And/or write the answers down in a journal – the physical act of writing these things down will assist in reinforcing your happy story.
Martin Seligman has spent a lifetime studying optimism, pessimism and happiness – see his website “Authentic Happiness” https://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/ [52]
One of the keys to Seligman’s work is the difference between how an optimistic person and a pessimistic person describes events to themselves. This is what I refer to as internal dialogue. The distinctions Seligman uses are: - Personal/Impersonal, Temporary/Permanent, Specific/Pervasive.
If a bad thing happens an optimist will describe the event as Impersonal, Temporary and Specific e.g. “I just got the sack but it’s not about me it’s a corporate downsizing, it’s just a one of temporary setback and I will be back on my feet in no time”.
A pessimist might describe the same situation as Personal, Permanent and Pervasive. “I just got the sack. It’s all my fault, bad things are always happening to me and I will never get back on my feet again.”
A bit dramatic I know but do you get the picture?
So, what to do?
• #1 habitually direct your attention to remembering the good stuff
• #2 monitor your internal dialogue and check how you are describing experiences to yourself
• #3 change your life narrative by asking empowering questions that direct your attention to the positive e.g. “Why am I so blessed?”
Which brings us to Emotional.
Emotional well-being is about FEELING and then CHOOSING. Repressing feelings won’t help just as being overwhelmed by feelings won’t help. Choose to feel and then choose what to do about those feelings.
See the work of Candace Pert and specifically “Your body is your subconscious mind” http://candacepert.com/ [53] . Candace Pert’s work focusses on the relationship between the mind and mood, and the chemical changes in the body. She was a great proponent of body work and the ability to shift emotional blocks through body work – for instance massage and other body work modalities.
Knowing what you are aiming for again is key – what does good look like? e.g. “I am fully emotionally expressive. I feel deeply and then choose what to do with those feelings. I honour my own personal space and feel loved and appreciated by my friends and family.”
Training your body to know what this feels like is a good start. I recommend an exercise called “Creating a Circle of Honour” http://www.acping.net/catalyser/creating-circle-honour [16]
Deciding to take responsibility for your mood is a good one to get as well – see “Who decides what mood you’re in” http://www.acping.net/catalyser/who-decides-what-mood-youre
[54]
Knowing what good habits will support your emotional well-being is also critical – for example if you want to have good relationships with people it takes time – quality time – so ask yourself questions like “If I am going to be clear and connected with my family what do I need to DO habitually to make this happen?” e.g. weekly dinners out with your partner, picking up the kids from school occasionally if you are the parent who usually does not do this, scheduling regular family holidays, and making sure you have one on one time with kids, friends and partners as needed.
Again though – if you don’t know what good looks like you’ll find it hard to DO stuff regularly that delivers this – you may instead end up simply being reactive to life events.
Material stuff dominates our capitalist world. Many people focus exclusively on the material when they do goal setting and the like – but is this what you really want? Sure I’d like a huge warehouse full of classic cars, a massive house, even a yacht would be cool but if it means that the entire time I’m stressing about my things and worrying then am I truly rich or do I have a poor mentality? Money ranks right up there as a source of unhappiness and relationship conflict.
The research on this is interesting, essentially it says that up to a certain point – about $60k per annum if you’re in the USA – there is a correlation between happiness and material wealth. However, over that the correlation falls apart and of course, like many statistics, it’s a gross generalisation as I’m sure many of you know people who are rich who are poor in spirit and many who are poor but rich in spirit. When looking at the Happy Planet Index http://www.happyplanetindex.org/ [55] Costa Rica ranks #1.
Again it is essence that is key. Maybe good looks like “I am comfortable, relaxed and grateful for all of the things that I have. I allow the flow of abundance in my life and trust that what I am getting now is perfect.”
You’re probably starting to see the interconnectedness between all these aspects of self so it should come as no surprise that Spirit sits right in the middle of the picture.
Spirituality – people can get really reactive when others start talking about spirituality – many confuse spirituality with religion and if you’re like me it may have negative associations with memories of Sunday school, prayer and the whole idea of a dominant patriarchal figure looking down from above…
The best way of describing the distinction that I’ve found is that religion is about answers (of what’s right and wrong e.g. the Ten Commandments) and spirituality is about questions.
For me, spirituality is simply about acknowledging a connection with the unseen aspects of life. Some, like my Dad, do this by pursuits such as fishing. Others like a walk on the beach with the dog at sunset, others meditate, pray, do yoga, Zen breathing, the list goes on. The point is that at our core we humans have a need to connect with something bigger than ourselves. Fundamentally, we need to have faith that there is more to life than we can actually see and that there is divine justice in the world. A spiritual practice feeds this and sustains us when things don’t go the way we want them to.
Peace – deep inner peace is what you’re looking for here. A practice that enables you to let go of any worries about the past or the future and simply be present in a simple open hearted way.
The doing part of this is finding something that resonates with you and enables you to get to that place. Exploration of the possibilities is key.
So, there you go, hope some of this is useful – and again – this is not a cure all, end all post but rather a share of some of the things that have worked for me.
“Often people attempt to live their lives backwards; they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want, so they will be happier. The way it actually works is in reverse. You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do, in order to have what you want.”
Margaret Young
In peace and love always.
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“A man learns to skate by staggering about and making a fool of himself. Indeed he progresses in all things by resolutely making a fool of himself.”
George Bernard Shaw
I will try to keep this brief as I know we are all especially busy these days and wish for a quick fix to all things that trouble us.
Ethics – the study of the question of what ought we to do or how one can live a good life.
Traditional teaching and thinking around ethics is flawed due to the assumption that man is a rational being – he is not, you are not, we are not – we are emotional irrational flickering flames of light that all the time make errors of judgement due to perceptual bias, confirmation biases and our inherent need to be right.
So
#1 SELF RIGHTEOUSNESS IS POISON – BE A FOOL INSTEAD
We all have what’s called a Moral Identity – a way that we see ourselves. The more attached you are to your moral identify the less willing you will be to reassess your self-assessment and admit you were wrong. In plain English the more self-righteous you are the more willing you will be to commit terribly unethical acts and then try to justify them in some warped and convoluted way. See religious fundamentalists of all persuasions for examples.
Be a fool instead – let go of the need to be RIGHT and accept instead that you may be WRONG. Aspire to live universal values such as freedom, equality, unity, honour, patience, truth, empathy, impartiality.
#2 WHEN IN DOUBT DO NOTHING
Because of our inherently flawed nature we humans can jump to wild conclusions, get emotionally charged and then rush off to take action that we may later regret. Research shows that one of the key issues in resolving ethical dilemmas is that we don’t recognise the issues in the first place due to moral blind spots.
Your best indicator that you’re being confronted with an ethical dilemma is not your head but your heart and gut. You will get a FEELING that something is wrong. Processing this through the head and the rational faculties of the human mind may not help to resolve the issue and acting with no clear resolution may make things worse.
So – when in doubt DO NOTHING.
#3 WHAT’S YOUR MORAL INTENT
So, now maybe you’ve calmed down a bit. Taken some time out, resisted the temptation to go out and strangle someone and carefully avoided going into self-righteous judgement and critical damnation of someone.
Now you need to ask – What do I want to create?
And specifically – What are the Moral Boundaries of this creation? These boundaries should ideally be defined using intrinsic or universal values such as freedom, honour, equality etc. These are distinct from instrumental values that have no value in themselves but only through what they create – for instance profitability, efficiency etc.
See the diagram below for a graphic illustration
#4 WHAT’S YOUR DECISION?
Yes – we live in a cause and effect world so bottom line is you need to make a decision to ACT – but just before you jump up and run off to implement let’s test it.
#5 HAVE YOU NEUTRALISED YOUR MORAL INTENT?
Here’s where it gets tricky because we humans can be very adept at using rationalisations to neutralise our moral intent and hence create bad outcomes that we justify to ourselves so we don’t have to reassess our moral self-identity.
You need to check that you haven’t used one of the following 7 moral neutralisations:-
1. Denial of Responsibility – “It’s not my fault”
2. Denial of Injury – “It’s not hurting anyone”
3. Denial of the Victim – “They deserved it”
4. Condemnation of the Condemners – “You think I’m bad but you should see them”
5. Appeal to Higher Loyalties – “I did it for you”
6. Everyone else is Doing It – “I had no choice but to follow suit”
7. Claim to Entitlement – “I deserve it”
These neutralisations will neutralise the intrinsic values that create the moral boundaries for your intended outcome. If you have neutralised the moral boundaries then you may be creating something that is unethical but justifying to yourself why this is fair or just.
Hence – if you look at the diagram you will see that outside of the Moral Boundaries there is another ring which is your concept of Justice.
The ultimate test is whether or not you can live with your conscience – if you truly believe you have done a bad thing then you will be haunted by your own conscience. Justifications which neutralise moral boundaries allow a person to do bad things and then justify it to themselves so that they believe they are acting fairly and in a just way.
So – have you neutralised your moral intent or is it intact?
If it has been neutralised I suggest going back to step 1 and considering another action.
#6 BE GENTLE AND PATIENT
Some people may not like what you’ve decided to do. Some people may accuse you of being a fool. Some people may try to convince you that they know the future and if you do this then that will happen and then…
In the wee hours of the morning when you lie in bed in the darkness listening to the silence you will be accountable to your conscience – fear has no place here.
Be gentle with yourself and others and be patient.
The wheels of justice turn very slowly but grind very finely.
In peace and love always.
"Doubt is uncomfortable, certainty is ridiculous"
Voltaire
I'm guessing that by now, if you've read 'Your Greatest Gift is Truth' [56], then you may have spent a good portion of your time taking a deep breath and fearlessly telling people your heartfelt truth?
How many time have you been shocked by the response?
It's kind of like spending a great deal of time thinking about what someone would like for their birthday and then spending even more time carefully shopping for that 'perfect' gift - only to find when you give it to the person their response is something less than what you'd hoped for. Some part of you may feel cheated by their lack of gratitude. Some part of you may feel like explaining to them how much time and effort you put into the gift.
So, here is the paradox of Truth and its inherent limitations.
You see there is a difference between objective and subjective truth.
The great Nagual Don Juan shares the Sorcerer's explanation in Carlos Castaneda's book 'Tales of Power'.
"We are inside a bubble. It is a bubble into which we are placed at the moment of our birth. At first the bubble is open, but then it begins to close until it has sealed us in. The bubble is our perception. We live inside that bubble all our lives. And what we witness on its round walls is our reflection. The thing reflected is our view of the World. That view is first a description which is given to us from the moment of our birth until all our attention is caught by it and the description becomes a view."
In giving others our gift of truth we are in essence just giving a view. One that, nevertheless, we have spent our whole life creating and then reinforcing. One that is simply based on perception.
To let go of our fixed view of the World and embrace the mystery of life is one of the greatest challenges we can face but paradoxically one of the most rewarding.
"It's the best possible time to be alive, when
almost everything you thought you knew is wrong."
'Arcadia', Tom Stoppard
As human beings we are growth seeking. We strive to expand on all levels - when we don't we get stuck in the mire of the past and obsess about who is right and who is wrong. We go to war with others because they have different beliefs to us. We hang our hat on the hook of judgement and work hardest to protect what we have for fear of loss.
To ascend to a greater way of being requires us to open up our bubble.
If you think about it from the Past/Present/Future perspective. All of your stories about how the World works, who you are and your place in it are based on the past. When confronted by a conflicting view of the World you will instinctively point to all of the 'evidence' that has arisen from past events. You will naturally then come to the conclusion that you are right and 'they' are wrong. End of story. End of expansion.
A commitment to speak truth can be made from the perspective of "I'm going to tell you my truth - fully expecting that you will then realise how completely WRONG you are and adopt my point of view instead."
Or it can be made from the perspective of "I've surrendered to the mystery of the Universe. I embrace the ideal of speaking my truth however I accept that my viewpoint is just one of many and I am committed to expansive growth."
See the difference?
Values, Ideals, Visions and Dreams live in the Future. We aspire to live them and MOST importantly - we can't get to them by striving to live in certainty.
And of course, here's another paradox. You see we are hard wired to seek certainty. Our brains are self organising patterning systems that perpetually try to make our lives easier by identifying patterns and then re-enacting stored behaviours.
Faced with a new piece of information (maybe even right now) your super computer of a brain switches into gear and starts madly searching its memory banks to find anything that it has seen, heard, read or experienced before that will help it to make sense of what it is experiencing now and place it in the correct box.
But naturally this limits us to a fixed view of the World based on past experience - which is EXACTLY what we don't want when trying to be expansive.
Can we even see new possibilities then?
Scientists have experimented with kittens to see how their perception changes when inputs are limited early in life. They placed kittens in an environment where they were no horizontal lines. Months later the kittens were still unable to perceive horizontal lines in their environment even when exposed to them.
It is also well tested that the human brain fills in 'blind spots' by speculating and then projecting what it thinks should be perceived in those areas. Note that I say 'it' because it is not a conscious action.
(No the image is not moving... Your brain just thinks it is - see Akiyoshi's Kitaoka's other work http://www.ritsumei.ac.jp/~akitaoka/index-e.html [57])
So, back to the weird and wonderful limitations of truth.
Yes - truth is the greatest gift you can give to another. However, you must have a commitment to emotional and spiritual expansion and an acceptance that your truth may not be the same as my truth.
You might also like to embrace the notion that the World is a mystery. One that we should never stop trying to understand but a task that we should never expect to accomplish.
An open heart. An open mind. A willingness to listen. An absence of judgement. A spirit of adventure and exploration.
And the best bit is - You can't work it out from where you are right now!
"Reality is just an illusion, albeit a very persistent one."
Albert Einstein
What sort of amazing World can you imagine?
In peace and love always.
In Book X of his work 'The Nicomachean Ethics', the Greek philosopher Aristotle extols the virtues of contemplation as
"both the highest form of activity (since the intellect is the highest thing in us, and the objects that it apprehends are the highest thing that can be known), and also the most continuous, because we are more capable of continuous contemplation than we are of any practical activity."
In our current crazy world full of smart phones constantly connecting to wifi networks whilst syncing themselves to all manner of other gadgets just to make sure that all the machines and us might miraculously end up on the same page, we rarely get enough time for contemplation.
So, what would a person with only limited time left in the world but released from the concerns of the world spend their time contemplating?
Recently I've had the opportunity to ask this question as two of my friends have been dying - and yes I know we are all dying but what I mean is dying in a more accelerated way - read terminal illness and visualise doctors frowning and stroking their chins as they try to determine exactly how long you've got...
In any case, contemplation - or in the initial case rumination - "chewing the cud" - begins with 'Why?!' or more specifically 'Why me?!'
And here's where we get to see pain because 'Why me?' is a question about fairness and justice. And we can extrapolate this type of thinking into any bad news or perceived injustice afflicting us in our world.
A refusal to accept the reality presented before us and a vain attempt to try and dredge through history to find a reason 'WHY!' so that the world may make sense and we can find a solution to the underlying feeling of injustice.
Rumination like this keeps us up at night, frustrates us on a tautological merry-go-round that haunts our dreams and taints our world.
Neuroscience researchers tell us that part of our brain seeks meaning in the events of life and absent of meaning will actually make something up to fill in the details. The merry-go-round of 'Why?' keeps engaging this part and keeps us trapped in an analysis of the past.
Freedom arises when there is surrender and acceptance. One friend has been in terrible pain. At one point after days and days of suffering he had an epiphany - stop fighting and allow yourself to see through the pain. We joked about it later. About embracing your destiny.
"Welcome teacher, thank you" he said.
There is only the present and no amount of rumination on the past will change history.
I asked my other friend what he thought about whilst he sat for days and days on end, having medical treatments but knowing that quietly the doctors were calculating 'How long'.
I expected a truly profound and philosophical response - especially given that he had long ago cast himself off the merry go round of why and had instead embraced the moment.
He laughed at me, at my naivety I guess, "I'm thinking about surviving" he said "just thinking about surviving every day."
So, there is freedom. The ability to embrace every moment as if it's your last, the will to release yourself from the perils of ruminating about the past and to instead direct your contemplation towards the future.
It doesn't have to be that complicated.
Aristotle cautions us about studying ethics, or how to lead a good life. He says that our aim should not be the acquisition of knowledge about the action, but the action itself. It's not enough to contemplate the 'good life' we must get ourselves into action and live it.
George Bernard Shaw was a great exponent of this view
"This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.
I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community, and as long as I live it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can.
I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no “brief candle” for me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations."
In peace and love always.
We all love to right, right? And it can be painful to be wrong, humiliating even? Righteousness compels us to stand up for what we believe in and is associated with being courageous. See Martin Luther King Jnr.
“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.”
Martin Luther King Jnr.
Or John Paul Mellencamp,
“If we don’t stand for something, we’ll fall for anything.”
Or JFK,
“Let the word go forth… let every nation know whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price… to ensure the survival of liberty.”
John F. Kennedy, 26th January 1961
Or Robert Kennedy (1966),
“Each time a man stands up for an ideal,
or acts to improve the lot of others,
or strikes out against injustice,
he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope
and crossing each other from a million
different centres of energy and daring,
those ripples build a current that can
sweep down the mightiest walls of
oppression and resistance.”
But is there a difference between being courageous and standing up for what you believe in and being so pig headed and self-righteous that you are willing to violate the very values you ‘say’ you believe in just to prove a point – or in simple speak – to cut off your nose despite your face?
There’s a few things in play here – firstly there are Values – Values are the things that you believe in that give meaning to life, things like freedom, truth, fairness, equality. The thing about Values is that we aspire to live them but most often we fail to actually deliver. For example, most of us would aspire to live by the Value of honesty but most – if not all - of us have told a lie. So, our Values live in the future as aspirational states of being.
Then there are beliefs about how you think the world works, what is right and wrong, and the way things actually are. These tend to be absolutist things like – either you believe in God or you don’t.
Then there are stories about who we think we are and how we describe the world to ourselves – especially the past – because we need to be able to make sense of what has happened in the past to be able to reconcile our current reality. The who we think we are part is bound up in what’s called ‘Self Identity Theory’ and part of this is our ‘Moral Self Identity’ – in other words how we see ourselves as a good or a bad person. For example a priest is likely to see themselves as a good moral person whereas a thief is likely to see themselves as a bad person.
Now the tricky bit is how these three things mix together – Aspirational Values, Beliefs and Stories.
You’d think that someone with a high Moral Self Identity would be least likely to do bad things but you might be surprised to know that the more tightly you are attached to your Moral Self Identity – the more likely you are to be self-righteous and the more likely you are to use justifications that enable you to do bad things without having to reassess your own view of yourself as a good person – oops…
Check out the graph below
You see aspirations live in the Future, stories and who we believe we are live in the Past. Someone who has a strongly held view of who they are will fight to defend that view by telling a supportive story that leaves them in the position of being RIGHT – hence self-righteousness.
Complicated huh? What makes it even more complicated is that we have an inherent self-serving bias which leads us to perceptual blindness – in other words we see what we wish to see in order to support our fixed view of the World.
A ‘supportive story’ then won’t be based on all the facts, it will be based on a selective view of the World and will justify why the action needed to be taken and why it is fair. Some moral justifications for doing things however, actually neutralise the very Values that we say we aspire to up hold. There are seven common ones:-
- It’s not my responsibility (e.g. Nazi Germany “I was just following orders”)
- It’s not hurting anyone (e.g. Graffiti)
- They deserved it (e.g. Israel v Palestine)
- Condemning the condemners (e.g. “If you think I’m bad you should see them”)
- Appeal to higher loyalties (e.g. I did it for Family, Country, God…)
- Everyone else is doing it so I had no choice (e.g. bribes in developing countries)
- I deserve it (e.g. “I’ve worked back for the last two weeks so I deserve to take whatever stationary I want”)
Now this article is about Self Righteousness so let’s put it all into perspective – the more attached you are to being RIGHT, the more willing you will be to use these justifications which neutralise morals, to ensure that at least in your own mind (and maybe to your supporters) you remain RIGHT.
Good for you :)
However, in your determination to be RIGHT you may have violated the very Values that you aspire to uphold and in doing so have well and truly trapped yourself in the Past and closed the door to creating the possible Future you want – go figure? – and all because you are determined to be RIGHT…
Right/Wrong thinking traps us in the Past and holds us in an ever spiralling cycle of ego based conflict.
If you find yourself in this cycle try reframing by asking better questions – What is it that you actually want? What do you need to do to create this? What do you need to let go of to allow you to move forwards?
Most importantly – as hard as it may be sometimes it’s incredibly empowering to be able to simply say “I’m sorry”.
In peace and love always.
Coming into the Equinox - Sept 23rd - is traditionally the time of the year to refresh and renew your Vision this is because the energies of the cosmos are in equal balance - equal day equal night - hence equinox.
If you are in the Southern Hemisphere you are about to go into a period of about three months through to the summer solstice where the days are getting longer and longer. This means that the expansive energy of the sun is getting greater and greater. If you are in the Northern Hemisphere the opposite is occurring with the introspective energy of the Moon getting stronger and stronger up until the winter solstice.
This has implications for visioning - if you are entering an expansive period you need you be more orientated to DOing and getting stuff out there. If you are entering the introspective phase you need to be more orientated to BEing and getting your internal house in order.
Having said all that the question is how to do it...
Traditionally and ideally you should do some prep work over the next two weeks or so and then take yourself off to the mountains and sit in circle for up to 4 days and ask for spiritual guidance for your Vision. This can be hard to do if you live in a city and/or have ongoing commitments, however you can do the prep work and plant some seeds.
As a possibility I suggest this 11 day program.
For two days each consider the 5 areas of Vision in this order - Spiritual, Emotional, Physical, Mental, Material.
On the first day (Fri 12th Sept) ask the questions - what do I want and what does this look like and feel like? I'd suggest focusing on a one year time frame - so for example - sit quietly and imagine it's Sept 2015 - what do you want spiritually? what does this look like? that is - what are you actually DOing? and what does this feel like? remember here to focus on essence not form. Play with it here - put the question out there and allow it to come to you - be receptive in the dreams and in your everyday life. Use what you need to make it real - write, draw, paint etc
On the second day - ask - what do I need to let go of to allow this to happen? Write these answers on separate pieces of paper (you'll see why in a sec).
Then on day 3 & 4 (14th and 15th) you'd do the same with Emotional, 5 & 6 (16th & 17th) Physical (18th & 19th) Mental and so on until on the 21st Sept you will be finishing Material. Also if you are inspired to incorporate directions - this relates to the Medicine Wheel - you will be going East (Spirit), South (Emotional), West (Physical), North (Mental), Earth (Material).
Day 11 (22nd Sept) is the day to bring it all together and return to Spirit (East) to receive the new. Start by putting all your Visioning bits together - again allow yourself to synthesize the bits into a whole.
Next take all the bits of paper on which you have written all of the things you wish to let go of. Light a fire - or if not possible a candle (remember to unplug the smoke alarms...) - take each piece of paper in the order you wrote them - read them out loud and say "I release this past behaviour/pain/fear/memory/relationship (which ever is appropriate) to the universe and allow the energy to be transformed for the highest good" - then burn them.
Last bit - on the day of the Equinox - if you can go and sit somewhere quiet or take time out in some way that's great - if not light a candle and put some of your favourite things/crystals/photos (esp. of ancestors). Put your consolidated Visioning writings/drawings/paintings etc with your candle - if it is in a book make sure it is open - and ask for assistance and guidance to bring it into creation. Big key here is to be open - don't assume you know - allow intuition, spirit, prayer, insight to guide and inform you. Hold your intention to stay in that space for the whole day - be aware of nature, especially animals, birds etc. Take special note of your dreams that night.
On awakening say thank you remembering that Grace is the unearned love of God (Universal Spirit)
In peace and love always :)
More on the Facebook page www.facebook.com/a.c.pingpage [29]
Coming into the Equinox - Sept 23rd - is traditionally the time of the year to refresh and renew your Vision this is because the energies of the cosmos are in equal balance - equal day equal night - hence equinox.
If you are in the Southern Hemisphere you are about to go into a period of about three months through to the summer solstice where the days are getting longer and longer. This means that the expansive energy of the sun is getting greater and greater. If you are in the Northern Hemisphere the opposite is occurring with the introspective energy of the Moon getting stronger and stronger up until the winter solstice.
This has implications for visioning - if you are entering an expansive period you need you be more orientated to DOing and getting stuff out there. If you are entering the introspective phase you need to be more orientated to BEing and getting your internal house in order.
Having said all that the question is how to do it...
Traditionally and ideally you should do some prep work over the next four weeks or so and then take yourself off to the mountains and sit in circle for up to 4 days and ask for spiritual guidance for your Vision. This can be hard to do if you live in a city and/or have ongoing commitments however you can do the prep work and plant some seeds.
As a possibility I suggest this 28 day reflective process which you can start this Friday.
For five days each consider the 5 areas of Vision in this order - Spiritual, Emotional, Physical, Mental, Material.
For the first four days - PLAY (engage the wondering mind) - ask the questions - What do I want and what does this look like and feel like? I'd suggest focusing on a one year time frame - so for example - sit quietly and imagine it's Sept 2016 - What do you want spiritually? What does this look like? that is - What are you actually DOing? and What does this feel like? Remember here to focus on essence not form. Play with it here - put the question out there and allow it to come to you - be receptive in your dreams and in your everyday life. A good question to ask is 'I wonder what would happen if...?'
Use what you need to make it real - write, draw, paint etc
On the fifth day - ask - What do I need to let go of to allow this to happen? Write these answers on separate pieces of paper (you'll see why in a sec).
Then on day 6 do the same with Emotional for 5 days then Physical, Mental and so on until on the 20th Sept you will be finishing Material. Also if you are inspired to incorporate directions - this relates to the Medicine Wheel - you will be going East (Spirit), South (Emotional), West (Physical), North (Mental), Earth (Material).
Monday 21st Sept is the day to bring it all together and return to Spirit (East) to receive the new. Start by putting all your Visioning bits together - again allow yourself to synthesize the bits into a whole.
Next take all the bits of paper on which you have written all of the things you wish to let go of. Light a fire - or if not possible a candle (remember to unplug the smoke alarms...) - take each piece of paper in the order you wrote them - read them out loud and say "I release this past behaviour/pain/fear/memory/relationship (which ever is appropriate) to the universe and allow the energy to be transformed for the highest good" - then burn them.
Last bit - on the day of the Equinox - if you can go and sit somewhere quiet or take time out in some way that's great - if not light a candle and put some of your favourite things/crystals/photos (esp. of ancestors). Put your consolidated Visioning writings/drawings/paintings etc with your candle - if it is in a book make sure it is open - and ask for assistance and guidance to bring it into creation. Big key here is to be open - don't assume you know - allow intuition, spirit, prayer, insight to guide and inform you. Hold your intention to stay in that space for the whole day - be aware of nature, especially animals, birds etc. Take special note of your dreams that night.
On awakening say thank you remembering that Grace is the unearned love of God (Universal Spirit)
In peace and love always :)
There is a Sacred Path you can walk through life. It is intimately connected to your life purpose and your essence as a spiritual being. It is based on the foundation of honour and requires a blend of Being and Doing.
A Sacred Path is one that is held in the most high as a path of devotion and surrender.
To honour something is to hold it in the highest regard or respect - and ACT accordingly.
Walking a Sacred Path requires honour in four directions. Honour of your Self; Honour of Others - including those who have come before, those who are yet to come and all the animals, plants and other sentient beings who share this planet with us; Honour of the Earth - including all elements of the material World - the Moon, Sun and Cosmos included; and finally Honour of Spirit - the unseen that flows through all of our lives in every moment.
To ACT with honour in these four directions an intermingling occurs which manifests in the Centre as a Sphere - the vessel that holds the emptiness of the present.
The Sphere that holds the present varies in size according to how tightly you hold on. Getting yourself out of the way creates a larger sphere were serendipity and Spirit have a larger space to operate.
In the present there is no fear, there is no worry, there is no anxiety - there is only the fleeting glimpse of the moment that is the present and then it is gone.
If you release the Past and the Future and choose to be fully present - to BE fully present - a path will open up before you that may not be logical, may not be rational, may not be what you 'think' you desire or what you 'think' you should be doing - but will nonetheless reveal itself as the Sacred Path.
Surrender to this path. Allow yourself to go on the Journey. ACT with honour in the four directions, BE fully present and this path will allow you to ascend to higher states of being and flow along your life path.
Walking a Sacred Path will allow you to shift from the lower states of Fear, Anger, Desire and Pride to Courage, Love, Joy, Peace and Enlightenment.
And why should we bother to walk this path?
In a word - FREEDOM
Freedom from fear, anxiety, craving and worry to a state of BEING dominated by reverence, serenity, peace, love and bliss. Not just for you but for all of us - as we are linked inextricably by the weaving quantum field that embraces us.
"My humanity is bound up in yours,
for we can only be human together."
Archbishop Desmond Tutu
For now, it is enough to ask:-
What are you doing here?
What do you believe in?
What are you going to do about it?
In peace and love always.
How does one find this mystical Sacred Path?
"Who looks outside dreams, who looks within awakens."
Carl Jung
In a time already passed I lived in the beautiful Drakensberg Mountains of South Africa on a farm called 'Ekuthuleni' - a place where you may find peace. We used to have WWOOFERS (Willing workers on organic farms) come to volunteer their services and one night myself and two of the wwoofers ended up at a friend's place for dinner and a few drinks.
Our intention had been not to stay late but dinner time soon became late evening and our host, who had brought us to his house in his car, had taken it upon himself to get rather, shall we say, trashed! A dilemma eschewed as midnight approached - how would we get back to Ekuthuleni? Given that he was in no state to drive his car I asked to borrow it and bring it back in the morning but he wanted us to stay - especially since his interest had been taken by one of the wwoofers who happened to be a fit young German backpacker. Needless to say, she wasn't keen at all and wished to get out of there as soon as possible.
What to do? Harsh words followed. By road it was a drive down the ridge where my, by now almost former friend's house was, to the valley below and then along the road deep into the valley to where Ekuthuleni was situated - approximately 15 kilometres - not a short walk at past midnight. No taxis in the Drakensberg either and a general warning to most not to stray out at night for fear a being robbed or mugged.
But there I was with these two young girls - so - off we went out of the house up to the road and within a few short steps away from the security lights we were plunged into darkness so deep that one could not literally see the hand in front of one's face. Navigating the narrow bitumen road was an exercise in feeling for the camber of the bitumen and finding the high point in the middle.
But 15 kilometres?
There was a short cut of course.
The Drakensberg is Zulu country and with cars in short supply there is a network of goat tracks that criss cross the mountains allowing kids to get to school and adults to get to work or visit friends and relatives.
The problem was the short cut went down the side of the mountain directly into the valley below to where Ekuthuleni was - crossing a narrow bridge over the river at the bottom. I'd walked the trail many times during the daytime but never at night.
Faced with a 3 or 4 hour walk on bitumen or a 1 hour walk down the trail we chose the latter.
But who counted on the moon being in its darkest phase and the cloud cover so thick we had to grope our way from boulder to boulder? Who imagined that the various intersections of trails, so innocuous during the daytime, would become such a source of confusion and despair at night? And no torches of course - not even a match or cigarette lighter between us!
So we groped, stumbled, tripped and blundered our way along. Each time we came to an intersection I battled with my inner demons that voiced a thousand and one fears. Courage, calmness and self belief were met head on by fear, doubt and accumulated stories of woe. My resolve was tested most when the young German girl began to cry. I daren't voice my own fears.
"If you think you are beaten, you are.
If you think you dare not, you don't.
If you like to win, but think you can't,
It is almost certain you won't.IF you think you'll lose, you're lost.
For out of the world we find,
Success begins with a fellows will -
It's all in the state of mind."
Walter D. Wintle
I held in my heart the desire to reach the bottom, knowing that regardless of where we came out we would eventually hit the river and then be able to find the bridge. But one last challenge awaited us when we reached the bridge and found that after the last floods all that was left of it was a slippery tree trunk that had to be negotiated on all fours.
And the lesson as we bumbled into Ekuthuleni and fell into our beds physically and emotionally exhausted?
Life is like that trail on the side of the mountain. Sometimes it is so dark, we can't see the way ahead, it is easy to give up and retreat but although harder the road ahead leads to our dreams.
It is easy to fight another, but the real battle, the battle of the Spiritual Warrior - is the battle between the self and the self.
On one side is fear and doubt. On the other courage and love.
To find the Sacred Path we must begin within by finding the deepest love of ourselves and having the courage to speak our truth.
Too much of our current society feeds our fears and encourages us to deny our truth so we can be embraced by what appears to be comfort and safety. But is it really? Are we walking our highest path by denying our truth? Are we creating the World that we truly wish for?
So begin by making a choice. Choose to love yourself unconditionally. Choose to begin to honour yourself by tuning into your deepest inner guidance. Choose to make decisions based on what you feel rather than what you think you should be doing. Choose to have the courage to act. Choose to release your fears and choose to deny those who would wish you to be fearful.
"A human being is part of the whole called by us Universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty."
Albert Einstein
In peace and love always.
Your Greatest Gift is Truth
"Each lifetime is the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.
For some there are more pieces. For others the puzzle
is more difficult to assemble. But know this:
you do not have within yourself all of the pieces
of your puzzle. Everyone carries within them at least one
and possibly many pieces to someone else's puzzle...
When you present your piece, which is worthless to you,
to another, whether you know it or not,
you are a messenger from the most High."
Rabbi Lawrence Kushner
And once more with feeling because I've been told many times that we humans need to see something three times before we get it...
Your Greatest Gift is Truth.
To Walk a Sacred Path is to seek a path of FREEDOM. Freedom from what you may ask? How about we start with freedom from fear, anxiety, worry, craving, addiction, guilt, despair, regret, shame...
If you look at all those afflictions - the first few relate to the future and the last few to the past.
It's all a bit silly really because the fear of what may happen is generated within our own minds and the regret for what has already happened is simply baggage that we cannot let go of even though there is NOTHING that we can do to change what has already happened.
Go back to the Past, Present, Future model that I have shared many times in the past.
Power lives in the Present where spirit and matter interconnect for the briefest of moments.
Living in a Past/Present loop limits us to the Past and sends us spiralling downwards into Judgement, Right/Wrong thinking and obsessing with protecting our territory.
Future/Present is ideally expansive. We are growth seeking beings remember - we are at our best when we are growing on some level. Check it out for yourself - do you feel better when you are growing in some form - whether it be spiritual, mental, material, emotional or physical?
Status Quo is bullshit boring stagnation!
Check out 'Do You Suffer From Drama Syndrome' [13] and you will see that we each have a quotient for growth which if not directed into growth will automatically redirect into DRAMA - boring!
So - back to the point of this post - TRUTH - The Greatest Gift You Can Give Is Your TRUTH!
Follow my logic here - we are growth seeking beings, we come onto this physical realm so we can expand, grow and ideally ascend. We attract to us situations and people who are best able to help us grow by - loving us, challenging us, pushing our buttons, supporting us - and whatever else we best need at the time.
That's the FAITH bit - yes - EVERYTHING is PERFECT right now.
AND if everything is perfect right now and you and me and all of us are attracting to us exactly what we need right now to allow us to expand and grow along our journey how then do we best surrender and embrace a Sacred Path?
TRUTH
Have the courage to speak your truth from the heart with love and compassion.
Often we do not - for fear of what we THINK may happen - but in doing so we block the expansive path forwards and trap ourselves instead into a fear based, rational view of life based on the PAST.
I worked with someone recently who told herself a story that it was best to manage her marriage by biting her tongue when things upset her so that she didn't rock the boat.
'How's that working for you?' I asked
'Ambivalence is not only pervading my marriage but is also seeping into the other areas of my life'
Ouch!
So - let's summarise - to walk a Sacred Path in life requires letting go of the fear of what may happen in the future and releasing the regrets of the past. Stepping into the void where spirit and matter connect can only happen in the present.
Allowing yourself to move forwards and EXPAND is best accomplished by speaking and living your TRUTH.
The greatest gift you can give to another is your whole truth spoken from your heart.
By letting go of your delusion of thinking you 'know' you open yourself to the mystery of the universe.
"The whole World is you,
yet you keep thinking
there is something else."
Chinese Proverb
In peace and love always.
"’Hope’ is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul
And sings the tune without the words
And never stops – at all.”
Emily Dickinson No. 254 (c. 1861)
When all is lost what do you hold on to?
When unexpected tragedy strikes your world what keeps you going?
All of us will experience the loss of a loved one at some point in our lives. Most of us will experience the painful heartbreak of the end of an intimate relationship. Many of us will experience betrayal by a friend. Some of us will experience debilitating injuries and illness. All of us will experience the emotional pain caused by the seemingly uncaring actions of others.
Loss and tragedy can lead us down a dark path. Cut loose from the ties that bind us to our ‘safe’ and comfortable existence we can fall into the emotional pool and be tossed around by the current like a swimmer caught in a rip. Desperately treading water just to keep our heads above the surface, gasping for breath at every opportunity.
The current can be strong. The fleeting touch of the ground beneath all so brief before the current picks us up and sucks us out to sea.
Panic rears its ugly head. Fear sets in. Breathing becomes more of a struggle. Drowning seems inevitable.
What do you hold on to?
Logic makes no sense.
“It’s so unfair!” part of you screams “Why me?”
The mind replays the past, “If only I’d…” “If only they’d…”
The past churns violently through the mind – every detail examined, every incident reassessed, every decision remade. Regret bites hard. Sleep becomes a fleeting and ever so brief release from the reality that now confronts.
Emotions threaten to overwhelm.
“Oh poor me”
Many will listen and give pity. Escapism will beckon – alcohol, drugs, sex, irrational, self-harming behaviour will tempt – give up don’t fight it, it’s so unfair anyway will be the cry.
Swirling around in the current what will you hold on to?
That there is karmic justice in the World?
That good wins in the end?
That there is some meaning to life?
Deep in the shit logic will not help you.
Idiotically enough it will be faith that provides the answer.
We like to think that we are smart – that the mind and the higher order reasoning it is capable of will let us work it all out. That if we can just get all the facts – the evidence – and think about it some more then we will be able to find a way out – find a solution. But there is no solution to some things. There is finality in loss, tragedy and death that makes no sense and simply can’t be fixed.
On being confronted by the sudden loss of her Mother, a beautiful friend wrote,
“We can survive the most horrendous of experiences, more than that we are given the opportunity to grow strong from these experiences. It’s almost as though our capacity to open that which is unimaginably painful and difficult is the key to unlocking the doors to a world that is beautiful…”
Ripped apart by grief she chose to open her heart and there found an unexpected gift.
Logic will not lead you there only the profound belief that there is some meaning in life and the willingness to open your heart and feel.
“Faith is the bird that feels the light and sings when the dawn is still dark.”
Rabindranath Tagore
Faith is the belief in something where there is no evidence but faith is nothing if it is not tested. It’s easy to say you believe when things are easy – it’s much harder to act when the going gets tough.
“When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.”
Alexander Graham Bell
So – what do you believe?
What do you hold on to when things get tough?
What does this mean in practice?
And how will you exercise your will to translate your faith into reality and act?
Strengthen the will – know that panic will lead you to catastrophisation – a rolling explosion of fear that blows away all sense of stability and leads you to believe that all is lost. Remember instead that everything is temporary – nothing exists that does not change – nothing.
Bring the horizon closer. Instead of worrying about the rest of your life, next year, next month, next week, tomorrow, tonight – just come back to NOW.
NOW there are blessings – the sun shines, the birds sing – here is the gift.
NOW strengthen the will – consciously choose to DO something, anything that is aligned to what you want and what you believe in. Choose to move the stagnant energy that is despair. Choose to walk, sit in the sun, smile at people, draw your attention to what is good and say thanks.
If there is meaning in life then act like there is.
Bit by bit by bit, little things accumulate.
Let go of trying to touch the bottom. Stop panicking. Start breathing. Feel the current. Remember what you want. Stop fighting against the flow. Start kicking. Save yourself.
Back to my friend,
“Out of the pain and suffering that is an integral part of living, we can discover the extraordinary love, light and compassion that resides in all our hearts…”
In peace and love always.
"The road to hell is paved with good intentions.”
Anon.
What’s your intention is a question that seems to be asked more and more these days with regard to personal manifestation. In fact there has even been a global ‘experiment’ called ‘The Intention Experiment’ running for some years now (see the website www.theintentionexperiment.com [58]) which seeks to align the intentions of participants to create various good results in the world.
The theory behind it is that we are all linked together through the quantum field and hence if a sufficient mass of ‘us’ aligns our intentions then we can create or manifest certain outcomes in the world. This research is not new – the ‘Maharishi Effect’ is a term coined in 1974 in honour of Maharishi Mahesh Yogi who predicted that when a critical mass of the population - 1% - experienced and stimulated the field of pure consciousness through transcendental meditation then the flow on effect would influence the greater population. The researchers, Borland and Landrith (1976), observed 11 US cities where at least 1% of the population was practicing TM. They used the crime rate figures to compare those 11 cities with others and concluded that the crime rate was indeed decreasing. Over the last 30 years this experiment has been repeated in a variety of ways. A similar effect has also been found with regard to plants (see ‘The secret life of plants’ by Christopher Bird and Peter Tompkins) and also water – see the work of Masaru Emoto ‘Messages from Water’.
So, if changes in intention can have such an impact not only on other people but also plants and even water, why aren’t we all changing the world for the better??
The problem seems to arise from the subjective nature of reality and the fact that all of us humans are flawed delusional beings who suffer from perceptual biases and blind spots so big you could drive a truck through them.
“Not me!” I hear you cry
Yeah well…
Research shows that we all suffer from self-serving biases that mean we think we are better than we actually are, know more than we actually do, revise the story of our past actions for the better and predict that we will act better in the future than we actually do.
Research also shows that once we have made up our minds about something – and generally I should point out that by ‘made up our minds’ I don’t mean that we have engaged some higher order reasoning function and actually objectively considered the problem at hand – no what I mean is that we have (in our lazy human way) simply ‘pattern matched’ the current experience to past experiences and then decided that it fits and moved on assuming that we (of course) are right – then we consciously seek only information that confirms that we were right and reject all information that doesn’t fit.
Hence, intention is one thing but do you have integrity between what you have intended and what you are actually doing about it??
Start with intention – the simple definition is that intention means that you have a desire for certain consequences to occur. A good rule of thumb if you are working with personal intention is that it should be something that is completely within your control. Hence you can intend a specific state of being. Such that you may get up in the morning and during your meditation set your intention that today no matter what happens you will be calm and relaxed. Your state of being is within your control and your challenge then is to align your actions to your intention – so that even if something major happens at work and others are freaking out you can re-presence your intention, take a deep breath and remain calm and relaxed.
Note here the difference between essence and form.
You can intend a state of being – an essence – but you can’t control the form.
We live in an uncertain environment remember.
Try it round the other way – you intend to have a calm and relaxed day and you are certain that the form of that will be that you will have a Zen environment at work and no one will disturb that. Then mid-morning drama erupts and not only is your calm broken you are reactive and enraged by what this other person has done – ‘How dare they break my peace’ you may say. Your response may be to yell at them and throw them out of your office and then because you have reacted to the situation and your Zen calm is broken you may feel breathless, adrenalized and in need of a coffee, smoke, drink, treat, shoulder to cry on, or confederate to whinge to.
Your actions are entirely justified – or so you believe – in your self-serving, delusional, confirmation bias way…
But is there integrity between your intentions and your actions?
You see you can’t run from yourself – no matter where you go there you will be. This means that you need to find a way of (yes a self-serving way) making some inner peace with yourself – or really your three selves – your aspirational being (who lives in the future), your constructed being (who lives in the past) and your free being (who lives in the present).
How do you do this?
You tell yourself stories that justify why it was ok for you to violate your intention – or specifically your moral intention. The moral boundaries that define for you what it means to be a ‘good’ person and who you aspire to be.
There are seven key justifications that we use to make peace with ourselves when we have done something we know (deep down) that we shouldn’t have done.
We say; “They deserved it”, “It’s not hurting anyone”, “It’s not my fault because of my bad childhood etc” or “I’m just following orders”, “You think I’m bad but you should see them”, “I did it for you (or God or country or family)”, “Everyone else is doing it so I had no choice but to follow suit”, or, “I deserve it”.
These justifications allow you to neutralise your moral intention so you can get what you desire. These justifications are used to justify, murder, abuse, slander, lying, stealing and all manner of immoral practices. This is the doorway that when walked through allows good people to justify and create bad things.
“The line between good and evil is in the centre of every human heart.”
Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn
Ultimately this is a battle between Will and Desire, and Faith and Fear.
On the one hand you desire some outcome and you are afraid that if you don’t do something about it then you will not get what you want. So you violate your moral boundaries and take actions which you justify using one of the neutralisations above. Your self-serving bias and confirmation bias will then allow you to maintain your belief that you are a good person.
The alternative is Will and Faith. A clarity of intention that is clearly defined using moral boundaries that you aspire to live by. The Will to be able to resist the temptation to do bad things and then justify them. Faith that given time the truth will bubble its way to the surface and justice will manifest.
Why bother? Is the last question.
Put simply – what you DO you become. If you lie repeatedly no matter what the justification, then you become a liar – you cannot escape yourself remember.
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”
Martin Luther King Jr.
So, the answer – the simple enduring truth – Love is divine power.
In peace and love always.
The recent drugs in sport controversy together with the revelations of the behind the scenes antics of the Australian swimming team at the London Olympics has left many of us wondering how this could possibly have happened?
The instinctive response to such events is to point to one of three things; character flaws - the perpetrators are 'bad apples'; greed - they did it for the money; or, lack of values - they've been brought up badly and need to be re-educated. Heaven forbid that we could possibly accept that 'they' could be just like us - much easier to condemn them and declare "I would never do anything like that!"
But reality and research reveals a far more complex answer. You see if you scratch below the surface of this issue and look closely at the people involved you won't find bad, greedy people with fatal character flaws. Instead you will find family minded people who've often done a lot for the community and in many cases have gone beyond the call of duty for their clubs, team mates and country.
So, what's going on? How do good people end up doing bad things?
It's all got to do with stories and justifications. All of us tell a story about ourselves that describes our moral identity - whether or not we are a good or bad person. When we do something bad we have to re-adjust our story to reflect what we've just done. The thing is there's a certain degree of flexibility in the way we can describe events to ourselves and this is where we have a big of wriggle room to let ourselves off the hook.
Rationalisations allow us to justify taking certain actions that if we saw someone else do we would be most likely to condemn. Common rationalisations include; denial of responsibility - "I was just following orders"; denial of injury - "It didn't hurt anyone"; denial of the victim - "They deserved it"; condemning the condemners - "You have no right to judge us"; an appeal to higher loyalties - "We did it for the team"; everyone else is doing it - "If we don't do it then it wouldn't be fair" (see Lance Armstrong for a good example of this!); claim to entitlement - "We've earned it".
Rationalisations allow 'good' people to keep their moral identity intact even as they do 'bad' things.
What goes hand in hand with rationalisations and makes unethical practices endemic is socialisation. Socialisation is the process of including individuals in a group to reinforce meaning. The more one desires to be a part of a group the more one is likely to bend one's own values and behaviours to fit the group - see the bizarre initiation ritual described by the Australian men's relay team for instance.
Socialisation is negative when old 'players' model 'bad' behaviour; newcomers are encouraged to emulate and idolise them; newcomers are consistently told "This is the way we do things around here"; and, any concerns of the newcomers are dismissed as their personal naiveté or shortcomings.
Established rationalisation and socialisation is hard to overcome simply because the people perpetrating the behaviours are not 'bad' people. Attempts to address the 'bad' behaviour are recast as personal attacks on 'good' people. Witness the way in which Rugby league players have rallied around sacked coaches, community members have stood up for the 'good blokes', and fans have called for Board members to be sacked.
When 'bad' practices come to light we want someone to blame, a bad guy to take the fall. The problem occurs when at the end of the trail of clues, investigations find instead of an Ogre, a community minded family man with a track record of caring for others.
"Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues,
but the parent of all others."
Cicero
The conflict had been going on for many months and the young man was getting tired. As the normal avenues for resolution had evaporated the other side had resorted to underhanded tactics - rumour, innuendo and unfounded allegations of the lowest kind were used to try and smear his character and turn the community against him.
In the midst of this, self pity called; "Oh poor me" it spoke "I don't deserve this"
The young man was tempted, his spirit had been wounded by the ongoing taunts. He'd been forced to defend himself to others and question his very being in his quieter moments.
Suddenly, his melancholic state was broken. An old man appeared before him, his hair silver with wisdom, his eyes clear and bright.
"Before you the path diverges," he said, "If you choose to go down the path of self pity, you will relinquish your power. Your judgement of the situation will close the gate to possibility and you will be forced to release your freedom to choose.
Your self pity is thinly disguised self importance. You will tell yourself you are the victim and that you need to be saved but you will not be willing to take any action to save yourself. Hence you will wallow in self pity and cry to anyone who will listen, hoping against hope that someone will come and save you. All along you will have denied yourself the opportunity to embrace your own freedom."
The young man was taken aback, no one had ever spoken to him like this before and although a part of him wanted to tell the old man to leave him alone another part yearned to know the rest of the story.
"And the other path?" he asked.
The old man's eyes lit up, a smile curled his lips and he chuckled softly.
"The other path involves power. Not over others but over the self and the challenges of spirit. To seek freedom is to know that in every situation one has a choice. But that freedom is not given by others, it is taken by the self through the act of exercising our will. Free will.
As judgement locks the gate to possibility, gratitude opens the door.
Your life is a precious gift and every challenge you face contains a gift - a gift of power.
Gratitude transforms the pain of whatever challenge we may face in life. It gives us the opportunity to ask a question of ourselves that we didn't even know we should ask. And through the answering of the question we give ourselves the opportunity to grow and expand.
Without duality there would be no growth. By embracing any challenge and seeing it as perfect we claim our chance. We exercise our will and claim our freedom to choose. In doing so we receive the gift of power."
The young man reflected on how he had been dealing with the conflict. All too often he knew he had rejected the situation as unfair. Anger and resentment had arisen and he had poured out his feelings to anyone who would listen.
Slowly it had poisoned his mind and zapped his energy.
The old man's words shone a light into the darkness. There was a way forwards. It wasn't all about him. It wasn't personal. He was free to choose.
"Thankyou" he said. And as he did so the heavy weight that had plagued him for weeks began to lift and the very life force began to flow back into him.
The old man smiled again, "You're welcome", he replied and turned to go on his way.
In peace and love always.
Read other posts that feature the Wise Old Man
I Must Not Fear [45]
“I believe therefore I am.”
When asked recently what exactly my philosophy was I quickly replied that it was plain to see – just go and read my books and all the other stuff I’ve written. “Yeah but” was the reply “could you just explain it to me in simple terms without me having to go and read all that stuff to work it out?”
So here goes…
We are here for a reason – YES life has a purpose! – to ascend and expand spiritually. I like to call this ‘Ascension Theory’ – that our purpose in this material world is to bring light onto the planet. As they say in Taoism – to be the bridge between heaven and earth. The only way we can do this is to move to a higher and higher vibration – to move closer to love – to resonate more closely with unconditional love. For it is love that gives us freedom from fear as it is the antithesis of fear and all of the control based paradigms that go with it.
To be able to resonate with love, we must first find love within ourselves and the best way to do this is to find our life path. This is our sacred path.
The specific purpose in all our lives is generally only fully revealed to us in retrospect so there is a need to love our lives in flow – in the moment – and to be able to release our need to know ‘what happens next’. In other words – you can’t fully ‘work it out’ – you can think your way through life only to a certain point and then after that you need to embrace the chaos and allow life to surprise you.
The best way to find purpose is to follow passion and do what you love. By loving ourselves first and being love then we give ourselves a better chance of releasing our fears and putting love into the world so that we can fully embrace the experiences that life may present to us.
The ultimate place to be therefore is to embrace love in all its forms. Love of self, love of others, love of life. In this way one can be free of fear, free of the need to try and control things, and able to let go and be in flow. Hence be in happiness, hence be able to bring happiness and love and light onto the planet.
Make sense so far?
Bliss is really what we are looking for.
I should add also that the environment in that we are living is a mystery. The World and how it works is a mystery. We should never hope to fully understand it but we should never stop trying to work it out. In other words – complete understanding is not possible. Complete certainty is beyond our comprehension. Again – embrace the chaos – become comfortable living in uncertainty.
The issue is the middle bit – how do we get from where we are now with our issues and baggage – to where we want to be – in that totally blissed out happy state doing exactly what we love to do and being in perfect alignment with our life path.
That’s the bit where all my work comes in. I believe that our natural state is to be perfect light filled beings but that we come into this world like a diamond that has been stuck in the mud. Some or all of our facets are dirty, preventing us from shining out into the world. Our task therefore is to – one by one – clean up our facets, shine up our being – so we can light up the World with our brilliance.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.”
Marianne Williamson
I believe that we construct our reality through our beliefs and our stories and that our best course of action is to evolve our ‘being’. Hence,
“I believe therefore I am”
Our challenge is to work in the three Worlds – the Present, the Past and the Future – to clean up our being and to find and follow our life path. Always seeking to evolve consciously and always ascending to a higher vibration.
In the Past our task is to face and release limiting beliefs. To uncover our deepest stories of who we are and what we believe we deserve and let go of the ones that hold us back.
In the Present our task is to fully surrender to the moment. To release our worries, concerns, anxieties and fears and to embrace life as we live it.
In the Future we have the opportunity to plant seeds and EXPAND. If life isn’t about dreaming a bigger dream then what is it? The human condition allows us to create grand visions that inspire ourselves and others into creative action.
To me all of this is about letting go of many of the things we have learned in this life and training ourselves to remember how to be ‘powerful beings beyond measure’.
In this challenge we are all linked together. Quantum Physics tells us that there is a quantum field that links us all together as one. Whatever I do in some we influences you and vice versa. Therefore we are not sole creators we are co-creators.
Which means that sometimes there are things I want to create that will be limited or held back by the whole. However, it also means that I have an opportunity to influence the whole of humanity – however subtle this may be - in every moment of every day.
My enlightenment, salvation, ascension – or whatever you like to call it is therefore intricately linked to yours. But yours is also linked to mine.
I choose then to hold a higher vibration. I choose then to dream a bigger dream. I choose then to move away from fear and towards love.
My work is dedicated to this task.
If you want to play soccer well then you don’t just stand in front of the goal kicking the ball into the net. You work instead at core skills – running, foot skills, strategy, team work etc
Likewise I believe that there are key skills that you can work on to help you ascend to a higher vibration.
These skills are the 8 Principles in the Self Mastery Program
Neuroscience now tells us that our brains are extremely plastic – that we can reshape them by changing what we focus on and changing what we believe.
I believe that we can use the findings from neuroscience and quantum physics to fundamentally change the way that we are being and hence change our World.
I walked into a Nursery this morning to buy some plants and was told by the owner that it was really hard to get the particular plant that I was looking for because it was no longer economic for the growers to grow it.
“That’s a shame” I said
“Money makes the world go round” he replied dejectedly.
Does it?
Does money make your World go round?
What if love made the World go round?
What sort of World would we live in then?
Are you ready to let go of your fears? Ready to stop hiding from the World just accepting whatever you are getting and step up?
Are you willing to change the World?
You may think this is all too hard. You may cringe at the thought of taking some responsibility. You may look at the problems in the World right now and feel it is beyond you. It may feel easier to buy into your own powerlessness.
“Our greatest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure”
You may think I am far too idealistic. A nice thought but totally impractical…
You can begin though in the simplest of ways. Just by believing just for a few minutes every day that it is possible to live in a World ruled by love.
“One can’t believe impossible things.”
“I daresay you haven’t had much practice,” said the Queen.
“When I was your age, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why sometimes I believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.”
Lewis Carroll, ‘Through the Looking Glass’
Dare to dream a bigger dream because,
“We are the ones we have been waiting for”
"…there is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so.”
Hamlet, Act 2, Scene 2, William Shakespeare
The young man had been having a bad morning, a night of sleep plagued by disturbing dreams had morphed into a foul mood made all the worse by emotional hypersensitivity. Arriving at his favourite café with plans for some ‘me’ time to reset his jangled state his hopes were soon dashed by the persistent, and truly poor, harmonica playing of a beggar.
Resisting the temptation to have a monumental and very public emotional outburst he reluctantly gave up on his plans and climbed back onto his bike for the ride home. Channelling his frustrations into the pedals he powered along the path through the park weaving in and out of the pedestrians. Out of the corner of his eye a man stepped onto the path from the car park and it was only a reflex flick of the handlebars that saved them from colliding.
“Hey slow down”, said the old man.
Without thinking, and charged by the emotions of the mornings events, the young man lashed out, “F@ck you!”, he yelled.
Turning to see the effects of his outburst, the young man was shocked to stare straight into the bright eyes of the mystical old man he had met before. It was as if time stood still, one part of him wanted to tuck his tail between his legs and scurry away as fast as possible, pretending all the while, like a naughty school boy, that it just hadn’t happened. Another part, a grown up part, slammed on the brakes and turned the bike around.
The old man stood waiting for him as if he knew all along that there was no choice but for him to come back.
“I… I… I’m sorry”, stammered the young man, “I’m having a bad day, I…”
The old man held up his hands to silence him, “These things are sent to test us”, he said simply.
A wave of peace flowed over the young man. The mere presence of the old man and his simple acceptance of his foul outburst caused the dark cloud that had shadowed him to evaporate instantaneously.
“I’m sorry”, the young man started again, “there was a harmonica player at the café who…”
The old man chuckled, “Don’t blame anyone unless you want to be the victim. Do you want to be a victim?” he asked rhetorically, “Of course not!”. He chuckled louder amused by his own observation.
“Life goes in cycles. Some days are good, some days are bad, some times are hard, some times are easy, it’s not linear, it’s not predictable – otherwise it would be boring!” he laughed again, “What good would it be if life were predictable? How would you grow if you had no challenges in your life?”
The emotion welled up again in the young man, “Yes I know, I know, but I’ve been having a bad day! I didn’t sleep well and then the stupid beggar…”
The old man cut him off, his levity had vanished replaced by a tone as sharp as a razor, “But is that how you want to be?”
“It’s the best I can do!”, the young man replied.
“Is it?”, the old man asked sharply.
The two glared at each other, like an old and a young bull. At any moment it seemed the young man’s emotions would get the better of him but at the same time the intensity of the old man’s stare – his pure will – held the situation in check.
“It is really?” he asked again “Is it really the best you can do? We are limited only by our beliefs. If you believe that’s your best then it will be. So tell me again – is it really the best you can do?”
Time froze as the emotion swirled about them. Slowly the energy dissipated and the young man broke from the old man’s glare. He hung his head in shame.
“No”, he finally admitted.
“Good, good, good”, the old man clapped his hands, “First step accomplished!
Now next step – stop beating yourself up! Lift your head up high! Accept your failures and choose to love and accept yourself unconditionally. Take responsibility for your actions and do something about it!”
The breath flowed back into the young man. He straightened up, stood tall and looked directly into the old man’s eyes.
“I’m sorry, please forgive me”
The old man hugged him, and as he did he chuckled again, “It doesn’t take much to push you over the edge does it? Instead of reacting, use these things to strengthen your Will. They are sent to us for a reason – they are sent to test us. Seize the opportunity. The easy way is to react and to make excuses for why you aren’t being who you really want to be. It’s not your fault, you didn’t get enough sleep, you had a bad childhood, you deserve it, they deserve it, it’s not hurting anyone, everyone else is doing it so you have no choice, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah…
These are just words! Real growth, real life, comes when you stop making excuses and ask instead – what do I really want? and how do I need to be to have that?
When you get to that point, then you have the opportunity to claim your freedom by choosing how you want to be.”
In peace and love always.
“If you fail to honour yourself you can be sure that you will fail to truly honour others”
I hope you are thoroughly enjoying the 30 day ‘No Complaining’ challenge…
I don’t know about you but I really hoped that it would be an easy 30 days where everything would go just swimmingly and I’d just roll along having nothing really to complain about. And that would have been just about when a mini cyclone decided to hit the coast just south of here dumping about 100 mm of rain on us and subsequently flooding the back part of the house.
Damn! Oh yes that’s right NO COMPLAINING…
So, I took a deep breath and started cleaning up all the fine silty mud that had washed into every tiny little crevice it could find.
‘Everything happens for a reason’ – well of course it does and naturally there has to be something GOOD about this situation hasn’t there? Err… The house is cleaner than it was before? I got to throw out some things I should have thrown out ages ago? Umm…
Anyway, please don’t think I’m complaining about not complaining or complaining about not being able to see the bright side of the situation.
Did it matter why? Not really. Did it help to get upset about it? Not really.
Just life and maybe the opportunity to share part of life with my gorgeous daughter who helped clean up in between walking little muddy footsteps through the other part of the house…
Which brings me to honour.
If we start from the premise that we are all linked together in a quantum energy field and that everything I do affects you in some way and everything you do affects me then what drops out of that is the question – ‘What’s really me? Or What’s mine?’
Think about it this way – we are all floating in a swimming pool and each of us has a bubble around us which is ‘our space’. Everyone’s bubble is energetically linked to the fluid in the pool and is both influenced by the fluid and able to influence it.
The way we influence the fluid is through our intention and the way we hold our intention in a certain vibration or feeling is through the use of will.
Now we know from various experiments that have been done that we have the power to influence others by the power of intent. We also know that in a group of people the one with the dominant intent holds sway – that is others will slowly align themselves to the intent of the dominant person in the group. So power then is the ability to pro-actively set and hold intent and not be re-active to others. Hence the notion of ‘holding space’.
In our swimming pool and bubble scenario ‘holding space’ is therefore about setting and holding the intent for our own bubble and the area immediately surrounding our bubble. Knowing that whatever you put out into the pool is going to be drawn to you.
In a ‘real world’ sense then it becomes critical to be able to define what you want inside your bubble – or space – and what’s NOT in your space.
This relates to the first principle in the Self Mastery Program – that of ‘Belief in Yourself’. Specifically – what do you believe you deserve from life?
You see – if you don’t believe you DESERVE to get something then you won’t get it. You will push it away from yourself at every opportunity. Maybe not consciously – but subconsciously and unconsciously. For instance, you might SAY you want to have a happy loving relationship and LOTS of money but if you don’t believe you DESERVE it you won’t get it or you may get a brief glimpse of it before you lose it.
So, being able to honour yourself is key.
Do you love yourself unconditionally regardless of how you behave? So, if you do something bad, dumb, stupid or thoughtless during the day do you go to bed at night having forgiven yourself or do you lie at bed thinking ‘You useless bugger, why did you do that?’ beating yourself up until you finally fall asleep?
Have you released yourself from your past ‘failings’? Or do you have a story based on a whole lot of stuff that happened ages ago, that you can’t change now BUT you keep telling the story and feeding that energy anyway?
Honour – respect highly, confer dignity upon, acknowledge.
Do you honour yourself?
You will fail to honour others if you don’t honour yourself first because the most precious gift you can give another is truth.
Take some time to do the ‘Circle of Honour’ exercise
Go to the beach, the park or the bush – or if you can’t do that simply get a large bit of paper.
Take a few moments to centre yourself by doing some breathing exercises and bringing yourself into the present moment. Set your intention to create your Circle of Honour – your sacred space in the world.
Now slowly and deliberately draw a circle big enough to easily sit in.
When you have finished step into the circle and sit in the middle. Say out loud ‘This is my circle of honour’ and become aware of the size of the circle and the area enclosed by the circle. Take a few moments to centre yourself with your breath.
When you are ready – ask yourself – ‘What type of behaviour is outside my circle?’
This may include: - other people yelling at you, criticising you, complaining to you, abusing you in any way, making sexist or racist remarks, trying to coerce you into doing things you don’t want to do etc.
Take a smaller piece of paper and draw a circle on it. Write all of these things down outside the circle.
Now ask yourself ‘What type of behaviour is inside my circle?’
This may include:- other people listen to my point of view, give me compliments and praise for the work I do, are considerate of my feelings etc.
Write all of these down inside the circle around its edge.
Now look over both of the lists and consider if this is the way you want others to behave towards you:–
‘Who do you need to be for this to happen?’
This may include: - I stand up for myself and speak my truth gently and compassionately at all times. I take the time to praise other people for the good things they do. I resist the urge to criticise others etc
Now write these things down in the middle of the circle.
Look at your final result. Feel what it is like to sit within your Circle of Honour.
Set your intention to take this into the World.
This may seem like a simple exercise but the effects of it are very powerful. Being clear about what is inside your circle and what that means for how you need to be is a great way to set boundaries and to define your ‘space’ in the world.
Try it.
Honour yourself. Honour others. Change the World.
Also – just to let you know:-
“This is the true joy in life. The being used for a purpose, recognised by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of nature instead of a feverish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.”
George Bernard Shaw
I don’t know about you but I’m with George Bernard Shaw. On my death bed I want to feel thoroughly exhausted sure that I took every opportunity presented to me and engaged with life to the fullest, striving to suck the juice out of every moment of every day.
I’d hate to look back on my life and think ‘Oh if only… if only… if only’
But sadly, if I ask the question now: - ‘Have I engaged with life to the fullest extent possible?’ the answer would be no.
Many times throughout my life I’ve held back through fear. Many times throughout my life I’ve lived for something yet to come. Many times throughout my life I’ve struggled through the hard times waiting, waiting, waiting… For what?
Regardless of what I do now I can’t go back and change the past. But I can change the way I feel about it and I can CHOOSE to re-create my future every single day in every single moment.
Fundamental to all this is how I view the World. Is it a supportive place or an obstructive place? And - Do I have any power to change things?
If you’ve been reading these Blogs for a while or have looked at any of my books or the website you probably know by now that I do believe that the World is an infinitely supportive place and that I do have power to change my reality by changing my beliefs and my intentions.
I like this equation to describe life:-
Belief + Intention = Creation
I like to think as well that ‘I believe therefore I am’.
Within all of this though, what I have realised is that there is an underlying current of thoughts, feelings and beliefs that we are not always consciously aware of. We THINK we are in control but with a bit of analysis we find that our conscious mind is only a very small part of our total selves.
In addition to our conscious mind believing and creating our reality. Our sub-conscious mind and unconscious mind is doing the same. Hence the reason why we sometimes create repetitive patterns in our lives.
There are some lessons that we just can’t avoid. Some truths that we just can’t hide from. Some experiences that we just must have in this lifetime. Maybe we should call this fate? Or pre-destiny?
The point is that sometimes these things happen to us whether we like it or not. Whether we consciously intend them or not.
The beauty of life though – the richness of life – is that it is uncontrollable and unpredictable. So that means we get unexpected and unpredictable GOOD things happen to us as well (read ‘The Magic Box’ for more on this).
Recognising the benefit of stepping away from the delusion that we are in control creates space for magical things to occur.
The Self Mastery Program is aimed at proving the tools and techniques that slowly allow you to access a freer way of living. One that releases you from fears, anxieties and doubts and allows you to get to a place where you can look back and say ‘Yes, I engaged with life to the fullest whether it was good times or bad times I made the most of them always living in the moment, never living for tomorrow.’
The aim of this Blog is to provide ideas, tools and techniques that will allow you to change your beliefs and hence change the world.
So – practical application time.
Are you up for a challenge?
The challenge, should you choose to accept it is to stop complaining for one month.
Yes, that’s right – NO COMPLAINING – about anything.
So, if someone cuts you off on the freeway whilst driving to work – NO COMPLAINING. If you burn your toast in the morning – NO COMPLAINING. If your wife/husband/partner/lover forgets YOUR birthday – yep you guessed it – NO COMPLAINING.
No – ‘Oh poor me why is this happening to me?’
No – ‘What’s wrong with you why did you do that to me?’
Not even – ‘I’m having a BAD day’
NO COMPLAINING – NADA – ZIP – NOTHING
Comprende?
WHY? I hear you scream…
Ok, good question.
The word ‘Complain’ comes from the Latin word ‘Plangere’ – to strike or beat. It’s added to the intensive prefix ‘com’ – with. It’s meaning developed metaphorical ‘To beat one’s chest’ – or ‘com-plangere’ – ‘with a beating’.
Ha ha – are you laughing yet?
Complain – to beat one’s self up!!!
‘Oh poor me!’ indeed.
So would it be too obtuse of me to suggest that complaining is actually beating ourselves up?
If so, I don’t know about you but I’m over it and I really want to expunge it from my life.
But just a little but more digging first.
Where does it come from? For what purpose would we learn to beat ourselves up?
Think for a moment about how you feel when you are complaining – I mean really whining to someone…
Try doing it whilst beating yourself on the chest for great effect.
‘You’ll never believe what happened to me today! On the way to work I was minding my own business when this rude arrogant person just about ran me off the road. I tooted him with my horn but he just turned around and gave me the bird (one fingered salute – a rude gesture for those of you not familiar with western sensibilities…) Can you believe it? Then I pull into the car park at work and someone had parked in my spot! I had to park three levels down and then carry all of the things for my presentation up the stairs. And do you think anyone would help me? No! Of course not! People just looked at me struggling and then looked away. The nerve of some people! How dare they! Then I walk in the door only to find that the meeting has been shifted to another meeting room on a different floor so I have to pick all my things up again and go traipsing about until I find it. Finally, I find it and walk in only to find the meeting has already started. My boss just looked at me and shook his head. Why do things like that always happen to me?’
Translation.
‘I am a victim. I have no power to change or influence my reality. All I can do is complain about what I am getting in the hope that someone, somewhere will hear me and release me from this hell. More than that I am addicted to the chemicals released in my brain when I complain and I really need you to say to me ‘You poor thing. How could they do such things to you? How could they be so mean to you?’ and maybe even promise that in some dark alley on a cold night you might step out from the shadows and bop them one just to teach them a lesson. Thereby giving me some much needed attention but at the same time trapping me into a victim mentality.’
And the origin?
Cast your mind back to being a toddler. Could you talk? No. So how did you get attention? You screamed. And who rescued you? Mummy or Daddy. And how did you feel then?
Complaining has its roots in the powerlessness of the infant human form. As babies we can’t walk, talk, feed ourselves or sustain ourselves in any way at all. Left to our own devices we’d be dead pretty quickly.
Beating our chests and complaining back then was a pretty good strategy.
Carried over into our adult years it becomes a burden.
So – are you a victim or a warrior?
A victim believes they have no power and can only make lots of noise and hope someone else will rescue them. They are a passenger on the journey of life.
A warrior believes they can influence the world. They see every obstacle as a challenge to overcome. They know that the world is a mystery that they cannot hope to comprehend but they keep trying anyway. They trust that what they are getting right now is right for them right now. They know that all is ALWAYS prefect regardless of how shitty things might seem right now.
So – try the challenge. Try not to complain for 30 days. Note what you complain about. Who you complain to and what you really get from it. Then delete it from your life and choose to step up and take responsibility instead.
Then see how life changes.
“You choose to create your reality every single day and every single moment. Burn the past daily for it is gone and the only thing that lingers is the stories.”
Many times throughout my life I’ve heard people say “Get yourself out of the way you are your own worst enemy” but I never really understood what that meant and when pressed none of those who said it could explain it to me.
Of late I have found myself repeating this phrase to others so, not wanting to be a hypocrite, here is my attempt to explain the meaning.
I think we must begin with a few basic premises upon which to build meaning. So, beginning with Quantum Physics – the Universe began with a big bang and hence all that is in the Universe now is linked together as one via a Quantum Field. In Quantum Physics lingo this is known as entanglement – from a spiritual perspective one might say ‘All is one’.
The second premise is that as the Universe is always expanding. It has a tendency towards more complexity and more energy (see the Second Law of Thermodynamics). In simple terms it is always trying to create something AND nature is irreversible – hence no turning back.
The third premise is that the Universe abhors a vacuum. So whenever a vacuum is created it will always rush to fill it up.
Now translate all of these premises into an existential perspective and focus on the ‘being’ aspect of it and I believe you get the following.
We are all linked together so my ‘being’ is linked to yours and hence we influence each other and collectively we influence and create the tone of the World. Interestingly enough from a Neuroscience perspective they’ve recently discovered what has been called ‘mimic neurons’. As the name suggests mimic neurons mimic the actions and feelings of another. So if we see someone else accidently hit their thumb with a hammer our mimic neurons copy the other person and we ‘feel’ it too.
Researchers have also found that if a group of people are in the same room then the one who has the strongest held emotions sets the tone of the room. In other words they control the vibe.
Bring this into the field of Self Mastery and you can see how the whole notion of ‘Holding Space’ works. If you can strongly hold a feeling and not react to the feelings and emotions of others then you will be able to hold a space of possibility into which others may step.
Premise two – the Universe has a tendency towards complexity – it is always trying to create something. Maybe we should say it is always trying to create something ‘better’? Does ‘more complex’ mean ‘higher vibration’? And if so when translated into an existential perspective – higher vibration as in – more aligned with love rather than hate? Lighter rather than heavier. More indigo blue than deep red?
Premise three – the Universe abhors a vacuum. So everything is always full and any time a vacuum appears the Universe will rush to fill it up with something. Note that you don’t have to DO anything. The Universe will fill the vacuum up all on its own.
Translation – if you create a space then the Universe will rush to fill it up. What it fills it up with will be more complex than not. And – we are all linked together so we are able to play a role in setting the ‘tone’ of the environment.
Hmmm…
So – we are co-creators not sole creators. Our power is exercised through holding space and we choose to hold this space by exercising our will and gently and calmly refusing to REACT to any negative stuff that other people may be putting out there (read hate, anger, spite, bitterness etc).
Now here’s the key.
The Universe is expanding and has a tendency towards COMPLEXITY – higher energy states.
In ‘Do you Suffer from Drama Syndrome?’ I proposed that we either create expansive life situations for ourselves or we create drama as a way of filling our energy quota.
Complexity as a higher vibration means love, compassion, kindness, gentleness.
We can choose to create the environment for this and then get out of the Universe’s way. It doesn’t need our instruction or interference to do this.
If we create a space – a vacuum – for it, then it will fill it up.
The problem is that more often than not if we create a vacuum either deliberately or accidentally then our FEAR jumps up, panic sets in and we rush to fill it up with what we think is the right thing to do.
Panic and fear causes us to jump into the hole before the Universe has a chance to fill it up.
WE GET IN THE WAY…
Why?
Well as far as I can work out – our egos like to think that ‘It’s all about me’. Past patterns will also limit us to an understanding of ‘the way the world works’ and faced with any sort of vacuum we rush to fill it up with what we think is right. JUST IN CASE something bad happens or we miss out in some way.
And this is where FAITH comes in. In ‘The Magic Box’ I shared an exercise for seeing how the really magical things that have happened in the past have occurred with little or no input and/or planning from you.
Now I hope you can see that the role that you can play in this is to create a space for possibility and hold it whilst resisting the temptation to jump into the hole and fill it up with what YOU THINK is right.
Acknowledging now that what YOU THINK is right is by definition limited to a very narrow range of options and does not open you up to the full range of possibilities that could exist.
Years ago I was fortunate enough to have this explained to me from a religious perspective. I asked a Rabbi what he prayed for and he explained to me that in his religion they did not believe that it was possible to comprehend the hand of God in action. So they prayed for courage to face whatever challenge was put before them content in the knowledge that only with the passing of time would the real meaning behind events be made clear to them.
I believe that we plant the seeds of possibility and then pray for the rain of grace. We get clear about what we want - what our vision for the future is – and then we hold space around that way of BEING – resisting the temptation to jump into the fray and try and work out the way it will come about or the form that it will take.
Using a gardening analogy – we turn the soil and prepare it by taking all the weeds and other crap out of it (we identify and release any negative thoughts and stories from our past that may be holding us back). Then we carefully and lovingly plant the seeds in the ground with a clear vision in our minds of what we want.
Then we step back and every day whilst there is still no sign of life, we continue to water the seeds and to hold a vision in our mind of what is going to appear (and with some seeds this takes 30 days or so).
Imagine what would happen if after a week we panicked and worried so much that nothing was happening – that there was no signs of life – we rushed into the garden and dug up the seeds to see what was happening?
Same with life.
So – how to do it?
Get a clear idea in your mind of what you want. Use the FutureMe exercise from ‘Walking between the Worlds’ to indentify a clear feeling of the state of ‘being’ associated with that possibility. Draw a circle around that state and sit in the circle imagining yourself ‘holding space’ around that possible future.
Don’t try to work out HOW that possible future is going to happen. Just sit with it and if a panic arises in relation to the HOW simply acknowledge it without giving it any energy. Feel the panic and BREATHE through it RELEASING the feeling of panic on every out breath.
Keep breathing through the feelings of panic and worry until they have all been RELEASED.
Stay in the circle until you can feel totally relaxed, at ease and aligned with the Vision.
Then RELEASE it. Release the OUTCOME and SURRENDER to the journey.
Consciously CHOOSE to SURRENDER to the journey accepting that you do not know all of the possible roads that will lead to that outcome.
Hold that space as a POSSIBILITY get yourself OUT OF THE WAY and allow the Universe to do its work – knowing that the Universe has a tendency towards complexity (love).
Treat it like a game and get excited about the possibilities of what might grow in the space you’ve created.
In this way we can live in a far more fluid and loving way released from the fears that arise from scarcity and doubt.
In this way we can change the World.
“The World is a mystery that we should never stop trying to solve
but we should never expect to truly achieve that task”
“I just don’t know where to file that” said Steve in a rather dismayed tone, “it doesn’t make any sense to me”
We’d been talking about the innate desire that we all have to try and make sense of the world. Neuroscientists seem to think that it’s a left brain thing. That good old left brain constantly asks ‘Why?’ and in the absence of a reasonable answer will simply make one up…
In contrast right brain is happy to just ‘go with the flow’.
The problem is that in our western society we’ve become pretty much left brain obsessed in the way that we seek to inculcate our young into the ‘right’ way of doing things. Rules, rules, rules and more rules is delicious food to our left brains and what neuroplasticity tells us is that whatever we focus on expands and gets stronger.
So, guess what? A left brain dominant culture creates people who have strong left brains and hence strong rational, logical ways of doing things. Great for a civilised culture but where’s the juice?
Life is in the cracks isn’t it? In the detail between the lines…
Which brings us to The Magic Box.
Faced with experiences that just can’t be filed away in the most logical and rational pigeon hole what does left brain do?
Either ignores it or makes it up…
Remember that scientists seem to think that we can only consciously process about 2000 bits of information per second but we are actually receiving about 4 billion (yes billion) bits of information per second.
So faced with stuff that just doesn’t fit we either pretend it isn't happening and ignore it – easy to do when there is so much stuff coming at us anyway – or make a reason up for how it fits.
But what sort of stuff are we talking about here and why should we care anyway?
Go back to “Getting Beyond Thinking” and you’ll see that limiting ourselves to just ‘trying to work it out’ limits our lives to a narrow corridor of options that fit within a pre-determined range.
Opening ourselves up to the mystery opens our lives up to an incredible range of possibilities. And that’s where The Magic Box comes in.
You see if we ignore magical things then we dismiss them from our lives but if we find a way of filing them in a logical, rational and meaningful way then we allow our rational minds to take them into account. And yes as we acknowledge them and focus our attention on them we allow the possibilities to grow.
Back to an example. Steve was having trouble with his business and with his relationship. Faced with the problems at hand Steve was desperately trying to ‘work things out’ and in trying to ‘work things out’ he was limited to the information available and his predisposed way of viewing the world. That is, his concept of ‘how the world works’.
Thinking about it from an existentialist point of view – faced with a problem in the Present Steve’s mind gathers all of the information and then goes back to the Past through everything he knows and all of his life experiences to try and find a similar problem that either he has had or that he has maybe read about or heard about. Then he tries in a very logical way to ‘work out a solution to the current problem.
Only thing is that solutions to problems such as relationship issues are not logical or often rational. We are not mechanical robots hence you can’t just input the data and then expect to get just one answer. Illogical problems produce a range of answers and what the left brain hates more than anything is uncertainty so it keeps on searching for more possibilities and going over and over the problem and the information available. Hence we churn…
This in turn gives us no peace of mind and actually increases our level of stress and therefore decreases our level of well being.
So, what to do?
Well think back through your recent past and consider the key events that have led you to where you are right now. Draw a line back through them and consider the possibility that where you are right now may have in fact created those significant events that brought you here – in other words – is it possible that time may in fact be going backwards? That the present created the past and in fact the future may be creating the present you are living right now?
Consider also those key events one at a time. Did you plan for those events to occur? That is, did you ‘work it out’ back then so that those things would happen?
Bet the answer is an emphatic ‘no’.
So, if that’s the case – what makes you think you can ‘work it out’ right now? What makes you think that the only solution to your problem at hand can come from ‘working it all out’?
Maybe now you are thinking it’s time to let go a little bit. And maybe you are wondering how but you still have your pesky left brain refusing to give up even a little bit of control for FEAR that things might completely STUFF UP and you will MISS OUT on something?
So, here’s the drill – The Magic Box.
Acknowledge that some stuff just happens… That the world IS a mystery. That life happens in the cracks and that sometimes it makes ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE at all. And that sometimes these illogical and unplanned things that happen are actually some of the best most amazing things – that they are MAGIC.
Like Steve who met his wife in a restaurant in London because he just happened to be there on a work visit and she just happened to be there on a holiday and they just happened to have a mutual friend who just happened to be in town at the same time and incredibly enough they both just happened to phone him when they were there and not surprisingly he just happened to think that it would be easier to kill two birds with one stone and ask them out to dinner with him at the same time.
And imagine their surprise when two months later - despite their mutual friend trying to dissuade their union because Steve was now in Hong Kong and she was still travelling the world – they found themselves back in Australia at EXACTLY the same time and at EXACTLY the same party. Who would have imagined?
And where might one logical, rational, mystery solving, and obsessed left brain like to file such a thing?
IN THE MAGIC BOX OF COURSE!
So, what to do with all this information?
Well, choose to INVITE some more MAGIC into your life.
Get a nice little box and write THE MAGIC BOX on the side of it. Put it somewhere nice in your house and then every time something even the slightest bit magical and unexpected happens, write it on a small piece of paper and file it in the magic box.
Every now and again go and open your magic box up and read through all of the magical experiences that you have in your life. Bring your conscious attention to these and choose to invite more magical experiences into your life.
Try it just for 30 days like you might try a swiper or swisher or whatever those hand held non powered vacuuming things are – see what happens to your life.
Above all EMBRACE the MYSTERY of life. Let go of the need to make sense of everything and create a space for the world to fill up with MAGIC!
“We are growth seeking beings – if you don’t consciously seek growth opportunities your subconscious will create them for you and the easiest way is through drama”
According to scientists the Universe is constantly expanding. From a Quantum Physicists perspective we are intimately related to ALL of the Universe through the principle of entanglement so therefore as the Universe expands surely we must expand also?
One could argue that this expansion is occurring on a physical level as we collectively get bigger and stronger but what I’d like to focus on here is the expansion in consciousness.
From an existentialist perspective we must always be full, we can’t be part of who we are we must always be all of who we are – whether this be good, bad or ugly. From a ‘being’ perspective then, and in relation to the notion of ‘being’ in the three worlds of the Past, the Present and the Future – we must always be 100% also. So we can ‘be’ 95% in the Past/Present loop (as most of us are) and 5% in the Future/Present loop – or – we can shift to 70% Past/Present and 30% Future/Present – which to my way of thinking is a better balance as you are then spending about a third of your time actively creating what you want to create in the world and the other two thirds ‘putting it to bed’ and making it part of your routine.
Now if we think about all of this from the perspective of being growth seeking beings who are consciously or subconsciously seeking to expand then the question to ask is: where are my opportunities for expansion?
The Past has already happened so all we can change about it is our interpretation. We can ‘Walk between the Worlds’ to resolve issues that have occurred and release some of the trapped energy from them but we can’t expand our consciousness.
Expansion needs to occur in the Future realm by actively creating new areas for growth through putting ourselves ‘out there’ in challenging situations. From the perspective of ‘holding space’ this would mean being able to hold a bigger space.
The paradox of all this is that part of us seeks certainty and security. Part of us is quite happy with the way things have always been. Part of us is comfortable with our fixed view of the world that we have developed over the years of our lifetime. Part of us is comfortable being safe and knowing how the world works – no matter how dysfunctional and disempowering this may be.
The simple fact is that it is SAFE to remain going around and around in the same old habits and routines. Doing the same old things day after day. Thinking the same thoughts, holding the same opinions about things and doggedly defending our fixed view of the world lest anybody get any ideas and start to rock the boat.
To step over into the realm of Future/Present living is by definition SCARY! There is no evidence to support some of the things you may want to create. There is no evidence to support the new way that you would like to BE. Lots of other people that you know – who have been quite happy to support your old LIMITED view of yourself – are quite willing to throw rocks at you if you dare to step out of the comfort zone and propose that there may be another more expansive way of living.
So why not just retreat back to the safe space of ‘the way things have always been’ and resign yourself to living that way?
That would be the easy way – EXCEPT for this deep seated impediment to expand…
So what happens?
Well in the absence of the courage required to consciously push ourselves ‘out there’ and create opportunities for growth, I’d suggest to you that our subconscious does it anyway. The problem is that the easiest way to promote opportunities for growth is through drama and conflict so guess what the subconscious creates?
Ho hum…
I think that we all have a required ‘quota’ for expansiveness which can be filled by either growth generating expansive experiences or drama.
If we are not ‘putting our self out there’ enough, trying new things, facing our fears and exploring new ways of being then we fill our quota with drama instead.
Now I’m not suggesting that we all have the same quota. Everyone’s different and factors such as early childhood experiences, genetics and karmic influences all mix together to create each and every one of us as unique individuals.
BUT what I am saying is that we all have a choice as to how we wish to fill our quota. It may seem easier to remain in the ‘safe zone’ but that just leaves us open to catching Drama Syndrome.
If you have Drama Syndrome it means that when even the slightest little things go wrong it sends you into a major spin and you turn it into a big drama. The eschewing drama becomes so big that it prevents you from doing what you want to do and as such you become a powerless victim to circumstance unable to create what you want.
You HAVE however, created the emotional juice that you need to FEED your consciousness and trick it into feeling like you have had an expansive experience.
AND you have created a great excuse for why you can’t do what you really want to do.
Boring…
Check for yourself – think about the times in your life when things were going really well for you and you were ‘in flow’ with things, taking on every challenge that was presented to you. Were you surrounded by drama that you just couldn’t get away from? Or did the people and events that you associate with drama seem to just drop away from your life?
So my hypothesis is this:-
We are growth seeking beings all trying to expand our consciousness. All of us have a ‘quota’ that can be filled by either expansive experiences or drama. If we don’t consciously create expansive experiences that take us out of our comfort zones and trigger growth then we will subconsciously create drama in our lives to generate emotional juice.
Drama Syndrome occurs when you’ve become so fixed in your ways and so tied into a victim story that you see yourself as powerless, refuse to take any responsibility for what’s going on in your life and consequently fill your quota with drama. This drama can be through turbulent relationships and confronting experiences which – instead of seeing as challenges to face and embrace and learn and grow from – you turn into a massive drama in which you are the victim.
The flip side of this is the life of the Spiritual Warrior.
As a Spiritual Warrior you understand that human consciousness has a need to expand so no matter what happens in your life, no matter how confronting or challenging – you simply see it as a new opportunity to expand. You face your fears as they arise and consciously choose to step into the void which is the Future, never expecting to know what is going to happen next but always willing to put yourself out there beyond your comfort zone anyway.
You never see yourself as a victim. You take full responsibility and you never judge what has come to you. You know that even though you don’t understand what is going on or why, you know that it is absolutely perfect exactly as it is so you RELEASE the need to ‘work it out’.
As you EMBRACE the world and the challenges that come to you, the drama leaves your life to be replaced by a DEEP sense of PEACE arising from the knowledge that you are stepping UP and INTO a bigger space of consciousness.
So, here’s my challenge to you.
For the next 30 days how about taking the Spiritual Warrior’s Challenge?
At the start of the 30 days consciously set your intention that:-
“For the next 30 days I will be a Spiritual Warrior by facing my fears and embracing the experiences that come to me, acting on my intuition with courage, never needing to know why things are happening and taking responsibility for everything knowing that all is perfect exactly as it is”
Write it in your journal, stick it up on a wall somewhere, write it on your bathroom mirror – whatever works for you.
Then every morning before you get out of bed:-
At the end of thirty days reflect on the level of drama that has been in your life versus the number of expansive experiences.
Then email me at selfmastery@acping.net [59] and I’ll share your feedback.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”
Marianne Williamson
So, what if Marianne Williamson is right? What if we really are powerful beyond measure? What if, to paraphrase Will Smith “two plus two doesn’t have to equal four, it equals what we want it to equal”?
That’s a lot of responsibility isn’t it? Suddenly there’s no excuse for being a victim. Suddenly the phrase ‘if you’re not part of the solution you’re part of the problem’ takes on a whole new meaning.
In ‘Choosing Unconditional Love’ I wrote about the ability that we all have to choose to love ourselves unconditionally and then to choose to hold that space for another person. But what does ‘holding space’ mean? And how would you actually do it?
In a rational, logical three dimensional world it makes little sense at all because something either is or isn’t. Add the dimension of time however and the concept of ‘Holding Space’ becomes more relevant. In ‘Walking Between the Worlds’ I discussed the idea of time as something that was able to be travelled through. One can go back in time to visit one’s PastMe and forward in time to visit one’s FutureMe.
From the perspective of ‘Being and Time’ the concept of ‘Holding Space’ can now be applied. Simplistically you can retell the story about who you are and hence begin to change the ‘space’. But what are we actually talking about when we talk about ‘space’?
Delve into the world of quantum physics and we are able to add another dimension to our world. The dimension defined by the Quantum Field. According to Quantum Physics there is an energy field that links us all together. A field that we are not consciously aware of and yet has the ability to influence us on a subconscious level.
We all have the ability to interact with this field and even influence the field via our intentions. In 2003 Rupert Sheldrake wrote the book ‘The Sense of Being Stared at” in which he detailed experiments that showed a majority of people were aware of being stared at. It is something that all of us have experienced at some time in our lives but what’s this got to do with ‘Holding Space’?
Well, imagine our five dimensions from the perspective of being and the Past, Present, Future model that I have been using.
The world is not static. Nothing exists that does not change. Hence if you simply sit still and do nothing, time will not stop – rather it will continue to hit you in the face and your body and all the things around you will continue to change.
Now add in the Quantum Field energetic perspective. Everything has an energetic ‘signature’ or vibration and we all have an opportunity to influence the energetic field around us.
For instance, experiments have shown that we all have the ability to influence the moods of those around us. That the one who sets the ‘tone’ of a meeting is the one with the strongest resonance around a certain mood.
We’ve all experienced this too. You know the situation where you have been sailing along having a jolly old day just enjoying things and suddenly someone in a bad mood comes into your field and all they want to do is whine and moan about everything and anything. Initially you may try to deflect their vibe but it takes a lot of energy and often we get to the point where it seems we have no choice but to react.
Know what I mean?
So back to ‘Holding Space’.
‘Holding Space’ for yourself means holding a particular energetic vibration around a specific way of being DESPITE what anyone else does, says, thinks or feels AND staying in that space and ALLOWING the space time continuum to fill in the gap. Hence in the Future plant the seed then in the present HOLD THE SPACE.
The key here is that it is an act of WILL not reason.
Nelson Mandela quoted Marianne Williamson in his inaugural speech in 1994 for a very good reason. It was because after decades of abuse from the ruling white minority, the easy thing would have been for the majority black population to rise up in a violent wave of retribution. But as the next line of that quote goes:-
“It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.”
To my mind he is asking - Are you willing to step away from your anger? Are you willing to create something much much better?
Are you willing to BELIEVE in a greater possibility?
This is the ability to HOLD SPACE.
This is the challenge for a Warrior. Are you able to hold space DESPITE what anyone else is doing or saying? In the face of the ranting, angry masses are you able to maintain your composure and hold your energy in a loving space?
True power lies in the hands of those who are able to always be PRO-ACTIVE. By definition Pro-activeness takes you into the Future Present loop.
The moment you become re-active, you hand your power over to someone else. Now they are choosing how you are being. They are setting the agenda.
To hold space for yourself can be difficult if you are trying to ‘change your story’ about who you are. This is because of all the ‘evidence’ that you’ve accumulated over the years that you have been alive.
Going around and around in the Past/Present loop is all about Mastery of Reason.
Talking holds you in this loop – your fixed view of the world is held by your internal dialogue or self talk, talk of others and stories you tell about how the world works. In general most people are constantly trying to co-opt others to support their view of the world so they can be more safe and more comfortable that they are right. REGARDLESS of whether or not their view of the world is benevolent or antagonistic.
At the root of any argument in the Past/Present loop is evidence based on past events – either factual or interpretive.
If you want to hold space you’ve got to get good at operating in the Future/Present loop and this is all about Mastery of Will.
Feeling, dreaming, visioning takes you to this loop. Will holds the possibility. Will holds the space. Will holds the new concept of the world.
I believe therefore I am.
It can be quite easy to be in this space when you are all alone in your private place doing your visioning work walking between the worlds. The real challenge comes when you return to the ‘real’ world and stick your neck out/put your head on the chopping block/get bigger than your boots/think you’re better than you are/get an inflated view of yourself etc etc etc
Then guess what?
Everyone who’s been cheerfully plodding along in the Past/Present realm just reacting to things as they occur because they see themselves as completely POWERLESS to change things and hence complete VICTIMS of circumstance suddenly get a bit SHITTY and really want to CUT YOU DOWN TO SIZE!
Because you are COMPLETELY threatening their entire world view and by implication (in their minds) calling them a LOSER…
Or something minor happens which sows a seed of doubt in your mind and suddenly, without warning you are plunged back into the Past and begin reliving, in graphic detail, your past failures that have made you who you are today – which is NOT who you are holding space around being.
Now – the Self Mastery bit…
A warrior makes their own mood remember. A warrior consciously holds space around a certain possibility despite what anyone else says, does or thinks and despite a disconcerting lack of EVIDENCE.
“And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Marianne Williamson
The trick here is to know how the brain works. Neurobiology tells us that every emotion has a specific chemical signature associated with it. Hence, good moods relate to a certain chemical state in our brains and bad moods to another.
We also know that there is such a thing as ‘state based memory’ – such that if we learn something in a certain chemical state – e.g. high on something – we will be more easily able to remember it if we are in the same state.
The concept of ‘state based memories’ applies to moods. Hence if we are depressed we are more easily able to remember all of the other times in our lives when we have been depressed. Likewise if we are ecstatically happy we are more likely to remember other times when we have been happy.
Aha! I hear you say.
Making your own mood is therefore about consciously being aware of what mood you are in and consciously CHOOSING to shift that if it does not suit you.
How to do this?
Anchor memories.
If you take time to track the key or dominant thought patterns and their associated stories you will gain some conscious awareness of what events or thoughts trigger your plunge into reactiveness.
Once you are aware of the triggers the next step is to create an Anchor Memory that is strong enough in emotion that once you trigger it the direction of your thoughts shifts to new thoughts associated with the Anchor Memory.
By shifting your thoughts you shift your mood and by shifting your mood you shift your thoughts and hence break the reactive pattern.
By using your intent you can shift your thoughts and in this way you make your own mood.
This is the way of a Warrior.
This is the Power of Intention to change the World.
“If you can’t love yourself unconditionally you will fail to love anyone else unconditionally”
In ‘The Power of Stories’ I wrote about the way the stories we tell about ourselves and what we deserve from life create our reality. In the Self Mastery Program, the first of the eight principles is Self Belief and one of the core practices is the ability to uncover these deep seated stories and to begin to re-write the ones that don’t serve us.
However, underlying these stories is a fundamental question: “Do you love yourself unconditionally?”
When asked this most people immediately respond “Of course I do” but a bit of questioning often uncovers doubt. For instance, imagine that it is late in the day, the phone rings, you answer it and upon speaking to your sister realise that you have forgotten your Mother’s birthday.
Later that night as you lie in bed do you berate yourself for being such a forgetful twit or have you graciously forgiven yourself and resolved to find a better way of remembering things in the future?
Or imagine that as you were trying to sort out an incorrect telephone bill by trying to communicate with a customer ‘service’ representative in some far away country who’s first language you are sure is DEFINITELY not English, your daughter tips her tray of paints over the new carpet and you – despite having done your morning yoga and meditation – completely LOSE IT at her and drive her to tears.
Do you:-
See the point?? Is the little voice inside your head your friend or your judgemental persecutor constantly there to remind you what you have done wrong and why you should feel guilty and UNWORTHY of love???
So maybe I am exaggerating a little and then again maybe not?
But where does this judgmental stuff come from and how do we shift beyond it so we can embrace ourselves unconditionally?
Think about it this way – up until the age of about 2 we can generally do no wrong. Babies can vomit all over you, poo in their pants, break things, keep you up all night crying and STILL you will love them unconditionally.
Then somewhere around age 2 you want them to do a few more things for themselves and you start to get a little bit annoyed if they don’t do them. For instance, you want them to feed themselves and if they throw the food all over the floor you get upset.
You want them to wee in the toilet but they wee on the floor and you get upset.
Your message – with the greatest of good intent – is “Do this the right way (in other words how I say) and you are a good boy/girl and daddy/mummy loves you”
Their response to the message is probably something like – “Hey wait a second I used to be able to do anything and you loved me now that’s all changed and become conditional upon me doing and being a certain way”
Reflecting back on the Ontological model for being below:-
Over in the Past are our stories about how the world works and what is right and wrong etc. Because we have a certain fixed view about how the world works and therefore what one must do and how one must be to ‘get ahead’ – we pass it on to our children. We say to them “This is the right way to do things, this is the right way to be” and our leverage for getting them to do and be this way is to give them acknowledgement for good stuff and discouragement for bad stuff. Hence our attention – and by interpretation our love – is conditional.
So fast forward to adult hood and here we are with this little internalised dialogue about what is right and wrong and how the world works. If we do the right thing then we ‘tell’ ourselves ‘well done’. But if we do the wrong thing then we ‘tell’ ourselves ‘bad girl/boy’. Hence the consequence is often ‘bad girl/boy’ you don’t deserve to receive love and abundance.
Get it?
So come back to changing ourselves and changing the world.
Self Mastery.
Let’s take some responsibility here – as convenient as it may be to blame our parents for all of our internalised faults and hence absolve ourselves of any responsibility and embrace the notion of victimhood.
If you want to shift the internal stories you tell about yourself and what you believe you deserve from life then the first thing is to CHOOSE to love yourself UNCONDITIONALLY.
That is, despite whatever ‘bad’ things you may do CHOOSE to remain in a loving space for yourself. Now I don’t mean that you should jump up and go off and rob the corner store – that would be silly – remember Self Mastery is about taking RESPONSIBILITY and stepping up to change ourselves and change the world.
WE ARE THE ONES WE HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR.
So, stop waiting and get moving.
CHOOSE to love yourself UNCONDITIONALLY.
Recognise where the negative self talk comes from. Recognise that your parents and those who influenced you in your formative years did the best that they could.
FORGIVE THEM!
And this doesn’t mean that you should ignore any negative things you may do or be. What I am saying is acknowledge and redirect.
“Even though I yelled at my daughter today and made her cry I choose to forgive myself and to love myself unconditionally and I set my intention to be calm, loving and less reactive in future”
The starting point is to choose. Judgement and negative stories about yourself will take you straight back into the Past/Present loop which will simply perpetuate your old way of being. And as I have written before, as soon as you start telling that negative story about how ‘bad’ you are, there will be a series of past events flashing before your eyes providing you with reams of evidence for why this is TRUE.
But YES it is just a STORY remember?
So – standing here totally in the present I acknowledge what I have done and I acknowledge the story that I have about myself however I choose to turn to face the future and love myself unconditionally.
“Keep your face to the sunshine and you can see no shadows”Helen Keller
In other words “I see what I have done or how I have been but this is not me, this is not who I chose to be and I resolve to move forwards to strive to create a different future.”
When you CHOOSE to love yourself unconditionally and choose not to berate yourself for your failings but to acknowledge and redirect you change the story about what it is that you DESERVE from life.
If you are constantly telling yourself where you have gone wrong and what a bad person you are the consequence is that you don’t believe you deserve much from life and hence – guess what – that’s what you get!
Choose to love yourself unconditionally and to take responsibility for creating a greater you and suddenly you have a much bigger space for what you DESERVE from life. If you’re not such a bad person you deserve a bit more. If you focus on what you are doing right and begin to emphasise the positive then maybe you deserve a lot more from life?
So – how to shift all this?
Simple really:-
The result of this is that you will change your relationship with yourself.
The beautiful and amazing result of that is that you will change your relationship with others. Instead of projecting your crap onto them and being conditional in your love for them you will be able to hold a space of UNCONDITIONAL love.
That is, instead of loving someone as long as they act in a certain way towards you – you can CHOOSE to love them REGARDLESS of how they are being or what they are doing. In this way you will set the tone of your relationship and truly hold a loving space for them.
And in this way love becomes divine power.
Divine power enough to change the world.
“I believe therefore I am”
Great ! So what do you believe in and what creates and reinforces these beliefs in the first place?
Stories.
Belief creates Perception creates Reality.
If your beliefs don’t support a certain perception of reality then you can’t ‘see’ it and hence can’t create it. For instance, Joe Dispenza in his brilliant book ‘Evolve your Brain’ cites an experiment that was done with a litter of kittens. One half of the litter was placed in a room with only horizontal lines, the other half in a room with only vertical lines. After a period of time they were re-united in a room with a table and chairs in it.
The kittens that had been raised in the room with only vertical lines kept walking off the tabletop and plummeting to the ground because they couldn’t see the horizontal surface. They believed the world was flat hence couldn’t perceive depth. Whilst the other kittens kept walking into the chair legs because they couldn’t see the vertical forms.
So what do you believe that shapes your perception and hence creates your reality and holds you in a certain fixed view point?
Let’s look at it from an existential perspective so back to the Past/Present/Future model:
Reality lives in the present moment. Once you get past the question of whether or not you actually believe you are real – that is, not some dreamlike construct a la ‘The Matrix’ movie – then in the present something either is or isn’t – debate can be resolved by physical and intellectual verification. Are you reading this right now? Yes or no – not maybe.
The past however is just an intellectual construct – one that spills over in to the present moment because of the way the brain works in constantly searching backwards for previous experiences that match, or are similar to, what it’s experiencing now. So – yes – right now your supercomputer of a brain is trying to relate what you are reading to any past experience that may be relevant.
As I have discussed in previous writings – most of us are going around the Past/Present loop about 90 – 95% of the time. So the momentum from the past is constantly being re-created in the present moment.
And what is it that ‘spills over’ ? – beliefs supported by stories that create perception and hence create reality. More specifically – stories about who you are, how you believe the world works, including whether or not the world is antagonistic or supportive towards you and what you believe you deserve from life.
These key stories sit under the Past circle and start being created from the moment you come into existence. Even as babies we are told who we are by our parents and others we come into contact with. As we grow our parents pass onto us significant beliefs about the world and whether or not we should be wary of it or embraced by it. Out of all this we accumulate a fixed perception of the world and start calculating what it is that we believe we deserve from life – maybe that should be ‘how much we should EXPECT from life’.
These key stories, because they live in the past, are evidence based. If you take a moment now to consider the question of ‘What you deserve from life’ and then ask why you believe this, you will find a raft of factual evidence to support this. For instance, if you believe that you deserve to have a high income job, nice house and car etc, some of the evidence may include; ‘Because I worked hard at University and have a Masters Degree in Engineering’.
The thing about stories though is that as well as telling ourselves good stories, we also tell bad stories.
Bugger!
And it’s when this happens that the evidence based momentum from the past starts to undermine our ability to create what we want and in fact traps us in a certain way of perceiving and hence creating the world. For instance, if our past has led us to believe that life is a struggle and that we never really get what we want - then we will create that. Every time something doesn’t turn out the way we want we may hear the voices of our parents reminding us of that fact. Our super computer brains will also flash before our eyes all of the previous experiences that we’ve had were the same thing happens – in other words EVIDENCE to PROVE that the story is CORRECT.
But it’s just a story isn’t it?
And the past is simply an intellectual construct isn’t it?
The only true reality is right here right now and in every moment we have the opportunity to create the future the way we want it to be.
The problem is those pesky limiting beliefs based on old stories that keep us walking straight off the end of the table top and crashing to the floor like those little kittens.
So, if you’ve got a negative momentum of story power zapping your current reality how do you get out of it?
Consider that Past/Present/Future model again.
The Past stuff is all about EVIDENCE and factually reasoning. If we want to change our direction then we need to plant new seeds in the future and as I have written before – shift our balance from 90% in the Past/Present loop and 10% in the Future/Present loop – to 30% Future/Present and 70% Past/Present.
So, about 1/3 of the time actively creating what we want and about 2/3 of the time ‘putting the new stuff to bed’ and getting it into our habitual way of doing things.
The problem is that there is no EVIDENCE for future based stories…
Our reason – and the reason based arguments of our closest friends and family (yes those people who wish us to remain EXACTLY how we are right now and continue to perpetuate the negative cycle of reality that causes us so much internal angst…) will shoot down those future based stories EVERY time on the basis of lack of EVIDENCE…
Bugger again!
Which brings us back to Self Mastery – the ability to create what we wish for in the world. If there is no evidence to support future based stories about who we are, how the world works and what we believe we deserve from life – then what must we use to counteract reason?
WILL!
If the momentum of the past is based on reason, then the ability to ‘hold space’ around a particular future reality is based on will.
In this sense it becomes purely creative. To spin around and around in the Past/Present loop is by definition a re-active loop. We can do continuous improvement but we can’t be truly creative.
Changing the future. Changing ourselves. Changing the world is all about asking ‘What do we want it to look like and feel like?’ and then actively holding space around that possible reality using the power of our will DESPITE the fact that there is no EVIDENCE.
Our actions and our being then need to be completely aligned to this as I have referred to in ‘Walking between the Worlds’.
So – what stories are you continually telling yourself about who you are, how the world works and what you deserve from life?
And – are they supportive of who you wish to be and how you wish the world to be?
Researchers suggest that we have about 50-60,000 thoughts per day. Imagine if 90% of these thoughts are simply locking things in place just how they are now?
Self Mastery is about deconstructing this pattern.
Once you have done some visioning work and have a clear idea about what you want for the future the next thing is to become aware of the stories.
Get a journal and label it your ‘Self Mastery Journal’. Now as you go through your daily life become aware of your stories. Importantly, become aware of the stories you tell yourself as you come to critical moments in your day – maybe before you go into a meeting, go on a date, begin performing etc.
Write these stories down. Then when you have some quiet time take a moment to look at the stories you have written. Are they supportive or not? If not – re-write them and read them out loud to yourself.
Make a commitment to yourself that you will be supportive. Forgive yourself for any negative chatter you may have and get good at ACKNOWLEDGING and RE-DIRECTING.
In other words – if you find yourself about to experience an important event in your day and suddenly a little voice inside your head begins preparing you for failure by saying things like ‘Don’t get too nervous about it – it’s not that important anyway because you never get what you want so don’t even bother trying’.
DON’T get angry with yourself. Instead simply acknowledge – ‘Hah there’s that old negative story again, that’s interesting it’s coming up now’ – and re-direct by asking ‘What do I REALLY want to think and believe about this?’
By practicing this skill and getting good at becoming aware of and re-writing our stories we slowly but surely shift our ‘being’ from passive re-activeness based on the way things have ALWAYS been to active creativeness based on our deepest and heartfelt desires for the way we wish things to be.
For a good example of how this works try Googleing Will Smith’s 2007 interview with Tavis Smiley [60] where he explains that 2 + 2 doesn’t necessarily equal 4 – it equals what he wants it to be.
In 1637 when Renee Descartes wrote ‘Cognito ergo sum’ – ‘I think therefore I am’ he established the concept of Cartesian dualism – the separation of the mind and matter, and, I believe, trapped us into a way of thinking that limits our ability to create what we want in life.
It is time now to recognise that mind and matter are not separate and in fact that a more correct, and expansive, way of viewing the world is ‘Credo ergo sum’ – ‘I believe therefore I am’.
But what evidence is there that this could possibly be true? Do we really have the power to influence the world through our belief?
The simple answer is YES
Through the power of our intentions we have the capability to influence; ourselves, other beings and inanimate objects.
Research shows, we have the power to influence our body and our very chemical structure. Neurobiologists have shown (see the work of Candace Pert ‘Molecules of Emotion’ and Bruce Lipton ‘The Biology of Belief’) that by intentionally controlling our mood and hence our feelings we can control the chemicals released into our body which in turn feeds back to our brain.
We can also change our physical body by using our mind. In 1992 the Journal of Neurophysiology reported a study which was done to see if the simple act of imagining something happening could have a physical effect on the body. The researchers split subjects into 3 groups. Group 1 released and contracted one finger on their left hand for 5 training sessions per week for 4 weeks. Group 2 rehearsed the same sessions in their mind. Group 3 – the control group – did nothing.
After 4 weeks Group 1 had a 30% improvement, Group 2 22% and Group 3 0%.
So, we can influence our self but can we influence others?
In 1993 an experiment was undertaken in Washington DC where 4000 practitioners of TM meditation were assembled for a period of 8 weeks with the intention of meditating collectively to reduce crime. The result was a decrease in the crime rate of 23%, the odds of this occurring by chance were estimated at 2 in 1 billion.
In the years since, this experiment has been repeated many different times and the result has been called ‘The Maharishi Effect’ by scientists.
But how can this happen? How could we influence other people without even seeing them let alone speaking to them or having contact with them?
Quantum Physics provides an eloquent answer which goes something like this: in the beginning there was just one big blob of matter which exploded apart with a big bang and started exploding outwards to form the Universe and everything in it.
The thing is that everything that is now in the Universe came from that original blob of matter and as such everything in the Universe is linked together as one. This is what is called ‘entanglement’. So, I am linked to you and everything else through the quantum field and to some extent everything I do influences you.
Generally this is very subtle. However, the more people you link together in a like minded intent the stronger the effect. Hence the Maharishi effect.
So, if we are linked together and everything else is also entangled, can we influence inanimate objects?
Funny you should ask.
One of the simplest and most beautiful areas of research that has been undertaken in this area has been conducted by a Japanese scientist, Masaru Emoto. For over a decade, Emoto and his team have been directing intention at water and then freezing the water so that it forms crystals. As the crystals form they take photos of the formations and then compare them according to what sort of intention was projected at the water.
The results are quite striking. Water which has had loving intent projected at it forms beautiful symmetric crystals, whilst water that has had angry intent projected at it will only form random shapes or no crystals at all (see the web for more details).
Research has also been conducted to see if human intent can influence random event generators. The results have shown that human intention can affect such a mechanical and seemingly rigid process. For more information see ‘The Intention Experiment’.
So, there is evidence to show that we can affect ourselves both chemically and physically. We can affect other people and we can affect inanimate objects.
But, what’s the point? And how does this help us with creating what we want in life?
Well, consider this – scientists estimate that the brain processes about 400 billion bits of information a second but that we are only consciously aware of about 2000 bits of data. That means that in our conscious rational mind we may believe that we are in control but in reality we are not.
Our conscious mind is only a very small part of what is actually happening in our brains subconsciously and unconsciously.
So, what’s this got to do with creation?
Well if you remain in your conscious thinking mind trying all the time to ‘work it out’ you should see by now that you will be limiting yourself to a very narrow range of possibility.
If, however, you recognise that you have huge power to influence yourself, others and the world around us simply through the power of your intentions, then you open yourself up to a whole new expanded view of the world.
None of it will make sense from a rational, purely left brain view of the world. You can't ‘work it out’ because we don’t really know how it works. All you can do is plant the seeds, release the outcome, surrender to the journey, and trust in your innate ability to create it.
The other great revelation to note here is the pointlessness of worry. Worry arises because we are concerned about something that is yet to happen so we start trying to work out ways of preventing whatever the thing is, from happening.
Seen from the perspective of the power of intention worry will only serve to help create what we are worrying about…
So, here is a left brain, rational, scientific basis for why it is beneficial to let go and get beyond thinking and embrace a more fluid, trusting, belief based way of life. Because:-
I believe therefore I am.
I’ve often wondered what I would say to myself if I could go back through time and confront myself at various critical moments during my life. Philosophers and physicists have suggested many different models for time, ranging from the simplistic notion of linear time to multiple parallel universes.
In my writings I’ve used the model below to represent the three states of being and I believe it is worthwhile to consider the notion of ‘Walking between the Worlds’ as a key skill in the attainment of Self Mastery.
In the Present lies our point of power. The intersection between spirit and matter and hence the only opportunity that we have to affect the material world through action. In the Future lies possibility and as such it is a blank canvas and our opportunity to dream a new reality for ourselves.
Neuroscience tells us that the more often we use the same neural networks the more strongly the neurons wire together and hence the more likely we are to subconsciously perpetuate the same behavioural patterns. In the model above we could see this as spinning around the Past/Present loop making deeper and deeper grooves in the paper and our minds, as we do so.
The issue is that going around and around in the same loop creates a momentum which spills over into the Future so that in the Present, when we are confronted with a new situation – a new opportunity – instead of grasping it and creating change, we are much more likely to subconsciously continue with our old ways.
Neurobiology also tells us that this perpetuation of old behaviours and patterns has a chemical aspect to it (see the work of Candace Pert ‘Molecules of Emotion’). Feelings experienced in the brain trigger the release of neuro-peptides and other chemicals into our system. In other words, the outcomes produced in the form of how we feel, have a chemical signature. It is this chemical signature – or environment – that we get addicted to.
Research in Neuroscience also tells us that from 0 to 2 years of age a baby’s brain is mostly operating in the Delta brain wave range – this corresponds to deep sleep and therefore unconscious beliefs. From 2 to 6 years of age a child’s brain is predominantly in the Theta brain wave range – corresponding to subconscious beliefs. From 6 onwards a child’s brain reflects an adult mix of Delta, Theta, Alpha and Beta waves.
Therefore the emotional environment that you experience from 0 to 6 years of age is critical in laying down your unconscious and subconscious beliefs about what is ‘normal’ and hence what feelings and chemical environment you will seek to subconsciously recreate in your life.
As we grow older we create behavioural loops to support the creation of what we believe to be a ‘normal’ environment. Thoughts create actions which create results which have feelings attached which create chemicals which create more feelings which create more actions and hence we go around the loop again.
So without consciously thinking about it, when confronted with a situation similar to something that has happened in the past, we subconsciously press the ‘play’ button on an old recorded behavioural pattern.
The result of all of this is that it is very hard to create real change in our lives because subconsciously we are trying to perpetuate the behaviours and feelings that we are used to – even if they are dysfunctional and not what we consciously say we want.
SHIT !
Yes – that’s right – if you find yourself in this situation then the enemy is within. It is you and your trained addiction to old habits, behaviours and the feelings and chemicals that result.
Which brings me to Walking between the Worlds.
If we seek to create something different for ourselves in the Future then we must first plant some seeds of possibility. Do some Visioning, in other words (try the Visioning exercise in Principle 4 of the Self Mastery Program at www.acping.net [17]).
Once you have a Vision then try the following exercise:-
Go off to a quite place where you can meditate and get yourself into a calm centred and relaxed state. Now take yourself forwards in time to the end point in your Vision (whatever time frame you set for your Vision – e.g. 6 months, 2 years, 5 years etc).
Come into the reality of your Vision as an observer. Find yourself – your ‘FutureMe’ - in your Vision and sit and watch and observe ‘FutureMe’.
How is FutureMe being? How is FutureMe behaving? How is FutureMe feeling?
Watch and observe FutureMe for as long as you can.
When you are ready come back to the present and reground yourself.
Now ask yourself – Am I in love with FutureMe?
That is, when you reflect on what you saw as your future self – did you absolutely 100% unreservedly LOVE FutureME??
If yes, your Vision is good. If not then you need to revisit your Vision and revisit and refine FutureMe until you do get to the point where you are in LOVE with FutureMe.
Once you are at that point you then need to practice Walking between the Worlds. Taking time to go to the future and observe FutureMe and the world in which he or she lives. Charge this world with as much emotional energy as possible. Ask yourself WHY you want this will stir emotions. Visualise it with as much clarity as possible so as to begin to put some spin and momentum into the Future/Present loop that you wish to create.
Remember the aim here is to train your mind to seize the moment of opportunity that arises in between thought and action and to take action aligned to the Future you desire rather than the Past that you are addicted to. By visualising the Future with emotional intensity what we wish to do is to start to tap into our feelings about this Future and hence create the corresponding chemicals AND replace our old addictions with new ones.
Make sense?
The more you Walk between the Worlds the more you will build a relationship with FutureMe. The more you will create a strong link between your Present reality and the Future you want.
Once you have done this - when faced with a decision in the Present you can simply ask – What would FutureMe do in this situation?
When you have your answer don’t try to rationalise it. Don’t try to justify it in any way. Just do it and slowly but surely you will become FutureMe.
The second part of Walking between the Worlds is walking backwards and reclaiming your power.
In this exercise, you need to identify any past issues that bother you or somehow limit you from being who you want to be.
Take yourself off somewhere quiet once again and get yourself centred and grounded. When you are ready go back to the time in question. Observe your PastMe for a while until you feel you have truly connected. Now sit down with PastMe and have a talk with them.
What do you feel you need to say to your Past self? What does PastMe most need to know so that they can be truly whole and truly powerful?
Make peace with PastMe and nurture them as much as possible. Help them to release whatever fear, doubt or anxiety they may be holding onto. Lastly, bring them into a space of joy and see them happy and playing.
When you are ready come back to the Present and reground yourself in the moment.
Now you know how to Walk between the Worlds.
Next challenge is to practice it until you are fluid in the skill and able to float between the Past, Present and the Future as your needs desire.
“For all the cruelty and hardship of our world, we are not mere prisoners of fate.
Our actions matter, and can bend history in the direction of justice.”
—Barack Obama, Nobel Lecture, Dec. 10, 2009
In every situation you have a choice to be a leader or a follower by the way you act or react. Throughout history men and women of great character have chosen to stand up for ideals greater than their own narrow self interest. Among them have been: Nelson Mandela, The Dalai Lama, Aung San Su Chi, Martin Luther King Jr, Abraham Lincoln, Mother Teresa, Mahatma Ghandi, Viktor Frankl and Muhammad Ali.
What is common to all of these leaders is a foundation of universal values such as; equality, freedom, justice, respect for life; and the willingness to take action in support of these values. They are without doubt honourable leaders.
As the world recovers from the Global Financial Crisis and attempts to address the challenges of climate change and the other ills facing the world, my question to you is this: Are you an honourable leader who courageously acts on your ideals?
If so, are you up for the challenge? And if not, where should you start?
“This above all, to thine own self be true” wrote William Shakespeare and it is as relevant today as it always has been. The most basic foundation of character is a deep sense of honour for yourself. Integrity is an alignment between what you believe, what you say and what you do. In other words – you can’t fake it. A requirement of integrity therefore is to know what your beliefs are and I would add – what your purpose in life is.
Before being put in jail Nelson Mandela was the leader of the youth ANC and was trained in guerrilla warfare. He established the Umkhonto We Sizwe (Spear of the Nation), the militant wing of the ANC and if not for being captured he may well have been remembered for other things.
Clearly the opportunity to reflect on what was most important in life caused Mandela to change his views and 27 years later he emerged from jail and is to this day hailed as the man who saved South Africa from a bloody uprising.
The first test in becoming an Honourable Leader is to take the time to clarify your values, beliefs and, in a general sense, what your life purpose is – hoping of course that this isn’t going to require you to go to jail for 27 years and noting that your true purpose will not be given its true meaning until much time has passed.
Muhammad Ali stood up for his religious beliefs and in doing so paid the considerable price of being banned from boxing. At the time Ali was vilified but with the passing of time his stand was put into a different context and to this day he is hailed worldwide as a hero.
So do you know what you believe in? and, most importantly, are you willing to act on it? Because a value isn’t a value unless you are willing to pay a price to uphold it. As Martin Luther King Jr said:-
“I submit to you that if a man hasn’t found something that he is set to die for
then he isn’t fit to live.”
An honourable leader knows what they believe in and isn’t afraid to go against the majority to take a stand.
“I don’t have to be what you want me to be. I’m free to be who I want to be.”
Muhammad Ali, 1964,
in reference to dropping his slave name Cassius Clay and becoming Cassius X
“My freedom cannot be separated from your freedom”
Nelson Mandela
With a deep sense of self honour in place the next test in being an honourable leader is to honour other beings. Mahatma Ghandi extolled his followers to embrace a path of peaceful resistance even when they were being beaten with batons.
Everyone has a right to their own beliefs and having honour for others is about being willing to listen to and respect those beliefs even if they disagree with yours. In conflict the honourable leader does not lose faith in others nor waver from upholding higher ideals.
“You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.”
Mahatma Ghandi
What others see as your values are your actions. Talk is cheap, you cannot preach peace and then make war. A child growing up in Afghanistan is today is much more likely to associate Americans with guns, violence and war rather than with peace. The honourable leader accepts that we are all in this together. That there is a thread of interconnectedness that ties us as one. As the world becomes smaller through technology we have an increasing number of opportunities to link together and hold a higher ground defined by freedom, equality and honour. How do you treat others ? Do you have empathy and compassion? Do you listen to others viewpoints? Do you consider all beings – not just other humans – when you are acting?
The third area of honour is the Earth.
“Only when the last tree has died and the last river has been poisoned and the last fish has been caught will we realise that we cannot eat money.”
Cree Indian saying
We cannot deny that we live in a closed system. Irrespective of who wins the scientific debate about whether man’s actions are making the planet warmer or not, the simple reality is that we are destroying the earth in so many different ways. Clearly, our economic system is flawed when it comes to placing a value on the Earth. But this doesn’t mean it is ok to exploit it. Honour for the Earth means minimising the impact of our actions on the Earth and where possible contributing to the improvement of the Earth through reforestation and clean up programs.
We have the technology to reduce our environmental impact now. Why are we waiting for our so called leaders to come to a global agreement on carbon emissions? The Copenhagen summit showed that the leading players are well and truly tied down by lobby groups and vested self interest.
It’s time to stop waiting and act. We can act through the way that we interact with the Global Financial system. Be clear about the environmental impact of the goods and services you buy. Invest using environmental and social criteria. And above all, don’t work for organisations that are out of alignment with your values.
When in doubt about any of this – ask !
The fourth area of honour is the unseen or spiritual aspect of life.
“We are what we think. All that we are arises from our thoughts.
With our thoughts we make our world.”Buddha
As Quantum Physics is now confirming – there is more to life than meets the eye. Japanese scientist Masaru Emoto has shown that the power of our intentions is enough to effect the structure of water crystals. Other studies have shown the power of the mind to influence random event generators and how we can sense when we are being stared at.
A quantum field links us all together.
An honourable leader recognises the unseen nature of the universe and the power of the mind to influence this. A cultivation of higher ideals in our minds is the fourth essential aspect of honour. Are you holding space for higher ideals and defining the tone of your environment rather than just reacting to what others do?
So what then should you as an honourable leader fight for?
The one thing that links Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King Jr et al together is their willingness to stand up for a cause and a higher ideal – freedom from oppression, civil rights, religious freedom, abolishment of slavery.
In the wake of the Global Financial Crisis and the failure of our institutions to address the structural inequalities in our economic system I believe the time has come for the honourable leaders in all of us to stand up and be counted.
Reject the fear and greed based system that makes us all competitors. Reject the scientific squabbling over who is right or wrong about global warming. Reject the fear mongering of those with vested interests in war and the willingness of the same people to end human lives.
Step up and embrace a future based on higher ideals. Take time out to work out what you really do believe in. Think about what you really are doing here before it’s all too late. Consider the interconnected nature of all of us. Use your leverage when interacting with the financial system. And above all honour the unseen aspects of life and the divine nature in all of us. For the deeper meaning of our lives will not become clear until it is too late to change it.
“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world – indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.”
Margaret Mead
Throughout history sages and spiritual teachers have told us that there is a ‘Sacred Path’ that one can follow through life. A path that is in harmony with the Earth and all of its creatures, and one that will lead to lasting happiness.
But in a world full of concerns about global financial crises, climate change, interest rates, budget deficits and stock market indices, what would it look like? And more importantly – how would you live it?
Walking a Sacred Path through life begins with honour. Honour for ourselves, all other beings, Mother Earth and Spirit.
Let’s take a look at each of these areas individually beginning with the Self. If we fail to honour ourselves we can be sure that we will be unable to honour anyone else or anything else. Love, compassion and empathy all arise from within and it is only by cultivating these qualities in ourselves that we are then able to radiate them out into the world.
We can be our own worst enemies though! Within ourselves we can be conflicted by our base desires and our higher aspirations which can result in an inner dialogue that sounds more like a brutal disciplinarian than our best friend. Buddhist teachings exhort us to still the mind, stop the dialogue and break the cycle of samsara. Shamanic teachings tell us that the world is an illusion and that we create it through our beliefs and stories. Interestingly Quantum Physics mirrors this by telling us that like attracts like and therefore we are what we believe.
But what would it mean to step beyond our limiting stories and shift into a space of existential alignment?
In Hamlet, William Shakespeare advised,
“This above all. To thine own self be true”
Honouring the Self is about finding your true purpose in this life and then living in alignment with that purpose and with a set of universal values. Key to this is to live it pro-actively, always with one foot moving in front of the other and not re-acting to what fear based stuff might be going on around you…
So where to start? How about with unconditional love? Finding a way of breaking the perpetual cycle begins with loving who you are right now regardless of what you are doing or how you are being. Unconditional love truly must be unconditional if it is to be empowering. If you think of your most loved person in the world – be it your child, lover, friend or parent – and imagine a time when they have done something that they are not proud of or happy with, then you will know that the story they tell themselves is far worse than any story any other person might tell them – and – what you say to them is completely forgiving and unconditional.
Now the challenge is – can you hold that space for yourself? Can you choose to consciously love yourself regardless of what you do or how you are being? If you can then you have found a space from which to dare to walk between the worlds and step into the future. In the future you can plant seeds by asking – what do I want? And how do I want to be, physically, mentally, emotionally, materially and spiritually?
Importantly you also need to ask – what is most important in my life? What values do I hold most dear to me?
“We plant the seeds of possibility and pray for the rain of grace”
With a picture in your mind you return to the Present and honour yourself by aligning your actions to your vision. The critic in us, the parent, tells us off when we are out of alignment with our stated intentions. To follow a Sacred Path is to have the awareness to know what our highest vision is and then to have the courage and presence of mind to live it. Physically that means eating, sleeping and moving well – honouring your body as a temple.
Mentally – by stimulating and expanding your mind – knowing that new findings in neuroscience tell us that we really do use it or lose it. Emotionally – by allowing yourself to have a full range of emotional expression – to live life deeply and graciously. Materially – by releasing worry and concern and being in flow AND ensuring that the way in which you interact with the financial system is aligned to your deepest held values.
That means every time you buy something, every time you invest money be it in the bank or in shares, and every time you work for another person or organisation you ensure that you are not supporting any other person or organisation that has different values to you. So if you believe in peace make sure that your superannuation is not invested in companies that make ammunition or any type of war making machinery or equipment.
Last but not least we must honour ourselves spiritually – by acknowledging the existence of a world beyond what we can see, touch, smell, hear and taste. For each of us this will be different but for all of us it will form the centre of the circle. Some may be nurtured by walking the dog or running, whilst others will pray, meditate, sing or dance – whatever it takes to create space for the divine in our lives.
To nurture Self Honour you can put two simple practices into your daily routine. First thing in the morning – walk between the worlds to the future and set your intention for what you want to do and how you want to be – then last thing at night simply ask – what did I do right today? And acknowledge yourself for it.
By choosing to love yourself unconditionally, being kindler and gentler to yourself and being careful to manage your focus by asking – what did I do right? – you can honour yourself and create fertile ground for the growth of love, compassion and empathy.
With an open and loving heart you are in a good space to honour others. Living in the Past confines us to being who we always have been according to our collection of stories about our self. It also confines us to a fixed view of the world and by definition this means that we believe that we know something about the way the world works and what is right and wrong. Now this is a comfortable and safe place to be except for the fact that by definition it can put us into conflict with other people because at times, we know we are right – or at least we believe we are.
Honouring others begins with recognising that we are all linked together in a kind of quantum soup. Because of this whatever vibration or energy we send out into the world simply stays in the world. As Martin Luther King Jr said,
“Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that”
Honouring others must begin with a recognition that we are all ‘brothers and sisters’ and as such everyone has a right to a particular perspective on life. Being able to ‘live and let live’ and to see others points of view is key.
However, honouring ourselves and others must also be done in the space of truth – the greatest gift we can give to others is our whole selves in love and truth. This means not holding back from our truth out of fear of the consequences but rather having the courage to speak in truth with empathy and compassion.
Balanced with this is the ability to hold space for others around a higher possibility. So instead of going into judgement when others act in a way that is out of alignment with love and compassion being able to see a higher possibility for them and hold this space for them to move into. Judgement is only a mask for fear. Opening our hearts to others moves us beyond this.
With honour for ourselves and others we move to honouring the earth. Recognising that Mother Earth is the cradle that holds us and that we are the bridge between Heaven and Earth. It is our task as this bridge to be the vehicle to bring universal light and love onto the Earth. We do this through our actions and our being.
To honour the Earth through actions is to ensure we do not defile or pollute the Earth in any way. The practicalities of this relate again to our mode of social organisation. Every time you buy something, invest in something or work for someone you have an opportunity to ensure you honour the Earth. Bottom line is – take the time to ensure you are not implicitly supporting activities that defile our cradle.
The ‘being’ part of honouring Earth is to be conscious of our role as the bringers of light. In every moment we have the opportunity to be in a space of love and to radiate that love into the world. With every moment we spend in nature we have the opportunity to give back to the Earth with gratitude and grace. Mindfulness, reverence, honour.
And finally to honour spirit. To acknowledge that there is more to life than what we can see, hear, feel, smell and touch. Honouring the self, others and the Earth takes us a long way towards living in honour with spirit. The last part is to release our fear of inadequacy and to have faith in ourselves and the notion of a sacred path. This is a leap that can never be made by the rational mind. There will never be enough evidence to support a rational argument for doing this. This is beyond thinking. This is connecting to source and shifting our way of being.
A Sacred Path opens before us at this point. One that requires us to be believe. One that requires us to release our fears, have the courage to act boldly and to walk at one with spirit in light and love. May you walk bravely on this path.
With the Global Financial Crisis in full swing and global corporations of the standing of General Motors filing for bankruptcy it is pertinent to ask whether or not we are seeing the death of the capitalist system.
Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd and US President Barack Obama have both scolded the players in the financial markets for their unrestrained greed but almost in the same breath they have reached into their pockets (read ‘our pockets’) to provide billion dollar bailouts.
The bailout packages and stimulus measures that governments have taken around the world are premised on one thing – that this recession, no matter how big it is or how much it is compared to the Great Depression – is in fact just a momentary blip on the ever expanding growth of global capitalism. In fact Government forecasts in Australia go so far as to predict that we will come out of this economic downturn on a roll and go back to above average economic growth which will see all of the debt accumulated now, wiped out very quickly. So, pop the champagne corks now, we’re going to be back to boom times before we know it, just rest up and take a Berroca until the worst of it passes!
But is this true? Are we in fact in the midst of a massive structural shift that will transform the way we live and work?
Charles A. Beard was a historian who was asked what he had learned from history. He replied,
“First, whom the Gods would destroy they must first make mad with power. Second, the mills of God grind slowly yet they grind exceedingly small. Third, the bee fertilises the flower it robs. Fourth, when it is dark enough you can see the stars.”
Let’s consider the application of this wisdom to the current situation. In the world now we are seeing the result of what happens when greed and free markets are allowed to run rampant – millions of dollars in bonuses and severance pay has been gifted to executives all around the world even whilst their companies have failed or gone backwards. Sol Trujillo – ex CEO of Telstra being a case in point.
Even more distressing is that the very governments and economic advisers who championed the free market system have been afraid to let it be truly free because of what might happen if it fails to deliver the equilibrium they promised it would. Instead of simply allowing companies to fail so that the system can come back into balance they have seen themselves as great saviours and have pumped unheard of amounts of money (read ‘our money’) into the system. Desperate to keep things afloat they have even resorted to printing money. Hmmm, let me think, isn’t that what they have been doing in Zimbabwe?
Sounds to me very much like they have become ‘mad with power’.
“Second, the mills of God grind slowly yet they grind exceedingly small.”
Fundamentally societies rest on the foundations of moral truth. A society that violates these truths may survive for a time but eventually it will collapse like a house of cards. Witness the French Revolution, Slavery in America, the apartheid regime in South Africa to name a few.
There are five lies that currently undermine the foundations of modern western free market capitalist society.
One could write a PhD thesis on each one of these lies but just consider each of them briefly.
Rampant materialism and the never ending urge by global corporations for us to buy more things may work in the short term but long term it leads to societal division between the haves and the have nots – both within countries and between countries. New long term research shows that after a certain point it is better to limit growth and build social networks. (see ‘The Spirit Level: Why more equal societies almost always do better’, by Richard Wilkinson and Kate Pickett (Penguin 2009) – which by the way identifies Australia as one of the most unequal nations in the world!)
Point 2 – clearly the Earth is not an infinite resource however someone forgot to tell the people in the mining industry. I’m sorry but you can’t keep digging up coal, oil, uranium and other toxic products without there being some long term effect on the Earth and therefore on us.
Point 3 – in the movie ‘The Matrix’ one of the characters refers to the human species as a virus. Let’s hope that the kids who watched ‘The Bee Movie’, and saw how the devastating it would be if bees stopped pollinating flowers, get a chance to see the world in full bloom before we wipe out too many more endangered plants and animals.
Point 4 – well this is fundamentally at the base of our current problems isn’t it? The system we have works on a win/lose basis but last time I checked we didn’t have any colonies on planets outside of the Earth so surely we are living in a closed system. That means, for instance, that secretly sending IT waste to be buried in China doesn’t actually get rid of the problem – it just hides it. On a more energetic level, Quantum Physics is now showing us that there is a quantum field that links us all together – so yes we are all one – and therefore if one person suffers on some level we all suffer.
Point 5 – a key to enlightenment, ascension, or whatever you like to call it is that you are able to live and let live and truly embrace all beings as brothers (see Point 4). The sooner we get this and stop pretending that our way is the best way or only way to enlightenment – the better.
These five lies are slowly being revealed to us and the ‘wheels of God’ are cracking them open for all to see.
“Third, the bee fertilises the flower it robs”
Well what should we do about this? Reject the capitalist system? Disengage from society and go live in a humpy? Waiting until it all collapses around us so we can reappear just in time to say ‘I told you so?’
If we view the development of Capitalism from a historical perspective it could be argued that it has never really reached its full potential. Adam Smith, the first of the free market proponents, proposed that if all forces were operating in the market effectively, then the so called ‘invisible hand’ would reach in and set a fair and equitable price. A ‘perfect market’ would be one where; everyone has the same information; there are no entry or exit barriers; products are freely available from different suppliers; quality is the same; and prices are the same. Instruments such as the Capital Asset Pricing Model rely on this concept of Perfect Markets. But without a ‘perfect market’, pricing inefficiencies creep in and fairness goes out the window. Something which, by the way, many financial markets players have been the beneficiary of.
The evolution of the Internet has moved us a huge step closer to this theoretical concept. Not only has the Internet increased the flow of information across the globe but it has also increased access to markets and broken down the barriers that once existed. Effects of this change can be seen in the percentage of individuals that now own shares (either directly or through superannuation funds) and the amount of goods now being bought over the Internet.
So, where does this leave us ? If we are closer to the ‘perfect market’ stage what are the implications ?
Try this on for size - old style capitalism is out and Neo-capitalism is in. With old style capitalism, people spent their dollars, saw themselves as citizens protected by the state and voted at elections. Neo-capitalism turns this on its head – people vote with their dollars, judge Governments on how well they manage money and see themselves as stakeholders who collectively own the assets of the state.
In pressing for the deregulation of financial markets the ‘bee’ did indeed rob the flower. Large global corporations have indeed plundered the world and relocated resources from third world countries back to the developed world. The rich have indeed become richer over the past 20 or so years of economic rationalism.
However, the ‘bee’ has also pollinated the flower. We have been left with the gift of being able to truly participate in the economic system. We are free to purchases goods from anywhere in the world. And most importantly we are free to be able to seek information about companies around the world and how they behave. The gift is that we are informed and empowered to change the world.
Those leading this trend are making decisions on how they interact with the economic system based on their deepest held values. That is, where they work, where they shop, what they buy and what they invest in.
“Fourth, when it is dark enough you can see the stars”
Right now it is dark. Corporations are going bankrupt, governments are in disarray, people are losing their jobs.
But now you can see the stars. The companies that have taken measures to look after their people by cutting back executive bonuses, sharing the burden by cutting working hours rather than staff. Organisations that are taking the time to adopt more sustainable working practices and environmentally friendly products. People and organisations that are building community rather than the single minded pursuit of profit.
So – how to change the world by being a good capitalist? Or should I say Neo-capitalist.
Recognise that knowledge is power.
Know what values you stand for and how they translate into the financial system.
Know that every time you interact with the financial system you are implicitly supporting the values and vision of the corporations you interact with. The four key areas are:
I contend that the current crisis is not a blip on the never ending growth cycle but rather a massive structural shift in the way we live and work. We have a chance now to change the world not by waiting for the current system to collapse but by recognising how the changes of the past 20 years have left us truly empowered. Our challenge now is to determine what we stand for and then to act on it by being good neo-capitalists.
Links:
[1] http://acping.net/catalyser/awake-now-what
[2] http://acping.net/catalyser/vision-quest-time-0
[3] http://acping.net/catalyser/art-remembering-who-you-really-are-0
[4] http://acping.net/catalyser/treatise-anger
[5] http://acping.net/catalyser/believe-someone
[6] http://acping.net/catalyser/maybe-you-just-dont-know-how-be-happy
[7] http://acping.net/catalyser/rss.xml
[8] http://www.acping.net/catalyser/how-change-world-being-neo-capitalist
[9] http://www.acping.net/self-mastery/online-program
[10] http://www.corpwatch.org
[11] http://www.wikileaks.org
[12] http://www.acping.net/catalyser/are-you-ready-revolution
[13] http://www.acping.net/catalyser/do-you-suffer-drama-syndrome
[14] http://www.acping.net/catalyser/act-intention
[15] http://www.acping.net/catalyser/strengthen-your-will
[16] http://www.acping.net/catalyser/creating-circle-honour
[17] http://www.acping.net
[18] mailto:acping@acping.net
[19] http://www.tut.com/theclub/
[20] http://chrisguillebeau.com/
[21] http://zenhabits.net/
[22] http://www.sethgodin.com/sg/books.asp
[23] http://www.fourhourworkweek.com/
[24] http://escaping-mediocrity.com/
[25] mailto:skype@acping.net
[26] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OWAw7gxfB7Q&feature=related
[27] http://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/acping
[28] mailto:fu*#@ed
[29] https://www.facebook.com/a.c.pingpage
[30] http://www.linkedin.com/in/acping
[31] mailto:info@acping.net
[32] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f_9INBPUX9U
[33] http://www.acping.net/catalyser/life-project-2-little-things-accumulate
[34] http://www.ted.com/talks/daniel_kahneman_the_riddle_of_experience_vs_memory.html
[35] http://www.amazon.com/Art-Remembering-Who-You-Really-ebook/dp/B00WDR61ZG/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8
[36] http://www.acping.net/catalyser/ethics-escaping-boundaries-time
[37] http://www.acping.net/catalyser/ethics-why-ideals-should-never-be-mercy-history
[38] http://www.acping.net/web_shop
[39] http://www.acping.net/catalyser/why-perfect-now
[40] http://www.acping.net/catalyser/mystery-and-light
[41] http://www.acping.net/catalyser/2014-life-project-1
[42] http://charlesduhigg.com/
[43] http://www.acping.net/catalyser/life-project-3-managing-your-3-selves
[44] http://www.acping.net/catalyser/walking-between-worlds
[45] http://acping.net/catalyser/i-must-not-fear
[46] http://www.acping.net/catalyser/ode-petty-tyrant
[47] http://www.acping.net/catalyser/ode-petty-tyrant-part-two
[48] http://extrahappiness.com/happiness/?p=1948
[49] http://www.ozfoodtrainer.com/index.php/what-s-hot/16-food-to-lift-your-mood
[50] http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/building-around-the-mind/
[51] http://www.ted.com/talks/daniel_kahneman_the_riddle_of_experience_vs_memory
[52] https://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/
[53] http://candacepert.com/
[54] http://www.acping.net/catalyser/who-decides-what-mood-youre
[55] http://www.happyplanetindex.org/
[56] http://www.acping.net/catalyser/walk-sacred-path-3-your-greatest-gift-truth
[57] http://www.ritsumei.ac.jp/~akitaoka/index-e.html
[58] http://theintentionexperiment.com/
[59] mailto:selfmastery@acping.net
[60] http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&client=safari&rls=en&q=Will+Smith+2007+interview+Tavis+Smiley&aq=f&aqi=&aql=&oq=&gs_rfai=