Exercise 1 - Finding Passion

"Whatever you decide to do in life, just be passionate about it…   Don't be intimidated by competition, as success is sweeter and failure less bitter when you have given everything. You have to be true to yourself -- it's your life. You are the masters of your destiny and passion, not pedigree, will win the end."
Jon Bon Jovi addressing Oxford University's prestigious Oxford Union debating society, June 15th 2001.

Passion is such a good indication of purpose because it’s so irrational. Passion is great because it breaks down the linear nature of existence that our society tries so hard to indoctrinate people with.  What I mean by that is, we are told from an early age that we must do this, or do that.  We are given tasks that we must accomplish and we are measured or judged by how well we go.  That is, good, bad, mediocre, which box do you fit into?

“Where the spirit does not work with the hand, there is no art”
Leonardo Da Vinci

In this sense, life becomes very linear or one directional.  It’s hard just to ‘be’ when someone is always asking you what you’re doing.  Passion breaks this down because when you’re passionate about something you’re happy just to be in it.  That’s not to say that it’s not nice to win at something you’re passionate about, or to be acknowledged for it, but it’s not the end of the world if it doesn’t happen.  If you’re in line with your passion that’s enough.

So, take yourself off somewhere quite and start by writing a list of all the things you’re passionate about and simply love to do.

For example I love:-
- any form of motor racing or speed orientated pursuit
- being in nature
- building and creating things
- ancient traditions, ceremonies, shamanic practices
- new cutting edge technologies

When you have created this list then ask ‘What have I been good at in my life?’

For me I am good at:-
- driving and controlling machines
- understanding complex theories and translating them into practical application eg economics, philosophy
- working with and growing plants
- helping other people to be grounded and sort out any issues

Now when you have both lists the trick is to ask:- What is the common trait in both lists?

This is something that may not appear immediately obvious and you may have to sit with it for a while. When I did this exercise what came up for me is that the common traits were:-
- the need to explore limits and still remain in control – seen in the motor sport stuff and also with regard to my attraction to shamanic practices and ceremonies
- the issue of freedom comes through very strongly – I need to feel free and I love working with plants and being in nature
- creation is also a common theme
- practicality – it’s not enough for me just to work on the theoretical side of things I need to apply knowledge

By now you might see a trend? From this exercise I would say that my life purpose relates to:-
- exploring new ways and ideas for creating freedom of expression that  people can practically apply in their life

So… I write, teach and research new ways of living and working then create courses such as this one to make them real.

How about you? Are you aligned to your passions?

Exercise 2 - Defining Moments

“A value isn’t a value unless you’re willing to pay a price to uphold it”

Values are the things we care about most in life, they are the things that keep us headed in the right direction much like the tracks steer a train. Common values include; love, family, honesty, fairness, freedom, tolerance, responsibility, respect for life, accountability, achievement, duty, justice, empathy, humour, integrity, humility, obedience, patience, self confidence, wisdom, independence, serenity, creativity, generosity, loyalty, safety, dignity, service and generosity. 

Amidst the Chaos all around us, values allow us to see what is most important and to pursue these things in our lives. 

Martin Luther King Jr. pointed to this when he said,

“If you haven’t found something you are willing to die for,
you are not fit to live.”

We don’t see values though – what we see is actions and through others actions we then determine what their values are.

Values form the foundations of character. Without solid values we stand on shaky ground.

The crucial moments of our lives come not when we are faced with the choice between right and wrong but with the choice between right and right. Should we tell the truth and confess to the teacher that our best mate just hit them in the back of the head with a paper jet? Or should we lie to protect him?

Should we work back to meet a project deadline and miss our daughters school play or leave work early and risk losing the job?

Should we stand up for a stranger in the street who is being harassed by youths and risk being harassed ourselves or cower in the corner trying not to make eye contact for fear of the consequences?

Right versus right.

The defining moments of our lives are those times when we are forced to choose what values we will uphold. It is these times that define our character and shape our personal legend of who we are.

Shared values form the underpinnings of culture. We are unlikely to continue a friendship or relationship unless we have shared values.

So, what have been the defining moments in your life?

The times when you have been forced to pay a price to uphold what you thought was most important?

What price did you pay and what benefit did you gain?

What did that tell you about the Values that are most important in your life?

How has this affected your life since?

What story do you tell yourself about who you are because of these events?

Exercise 3 - The Power of Stories

Considering the World from the perspective of the 3 Domains of Being – Past, Present and Future – in the Past we have a fixed view of the World which includes our belief about who we are and what we deserve from the World.

It is useful to uncover what these stories are and whether or not they are supportive or obstructive to us in being able to create what we really want in the World.

The first step is to begin to become aware of your internal dialogue and what the main themes of your ‘self talk’ or stories are.

Researchers say that we think about 90% of the same thoughts today as we did yesterday so don’t worry too much if you don’t catch it all the first day – you’ll get another chance tomorrow.

The best way to do this is to carry a journal with you and simply jot down the main gist of your internal dialogue as it arises. For instance you may find yourself sitting in traffic in your car and your mind wanders to your job and your relationship with your boss. You might have a dialogue that starts with the thought that your boss doesn’t like you and that’s why you never get promoted.

A little while later you may be having lunch and you begin to think about your husband or wife and how you don’t spend enough time with each other anymore and that you’ll probably just drift apart.

Driving home you may then begin to think about your children and how they will soon be leaving home and how lonely you will be.

These three things would then be identified as the main themes in your thinking.

Once you have identified the main themes then you can dig deeper and uncover the sub parts. The individual stories that you tell over and over again.

For example – with regard to the main theme identified above of the relationship with the boss. The sub parts may include:- recounting past events where you have been looked over for promotion; past events when he/she gave you odd looks or mixed feedback; past events where you actually did stuff up.

If you stick at this exercise, over a period of time you will uncover the main themes and all the sub-part or supporting stories – the evidence to support the main theme.

Once you have all this written down you need to ask:-
- Who are you in this story? Good or bad
- What does the story tell you about what you deserve from life?

In the example above, the story may be that you are always missing out on opportunities because you don’t present well (read bad). Therefore the logical conclusion is that you don’t deserve to be promoted and hence you are actually getting exactly what you believe you deserve.

The challenge once you have identified such a story is then to re-write it into a positive one.

Then every time the story arises – usually there will be an environmental trigger e.g. office meeting – you can simply acknowledge and redirect.

That is – “Oh, there’s that negative story again – I acknowledge that story is there but I refuse to buy into it and I’m going to focus on what I want instead.”

In this way – over time – you can deconstruct your internal dialogue and reconstruct it in a much more supportive way.

Reading 1 - Are You Deciding On Purpose?

Interview with Richard Leider from Fast Company, Issue 13, page 114.

Fast Company spoke with Richard Leider about his "laws" for making decisions on purpose.

1. Life is a Spiral
People today are intimidated about how much choice they have.  There are almost too many career choices, too many life choices.  People are overwhelmed at times by the decisions they get to make and have to make about their jobs, their families, their businesses, and their futures.  There are so many variables today: Where will you work?  Where will you live?  What do you want for yourself?  What do you want for your family?  If you don't have a way to sort it all out you can become paralyzed.

I have a visual exercise that helps you understand the choices you have to make at different points in your life.  Draw a little spiral, something like a tornado going upwards.  That spiral represents the different phases you encounter in your life.  There are times in life when you're on a plateau, where things are well balanced.  Then along comes a triggering event that knocks you into limbo.  When that trigger occurs, you have to put all your energy into handling the situation, whether it's an emergency at work, the death of a close friend, or your own health crisis.

That puts you into the third part of the spiral: a period of uncertainty.  Something is ending, something else is about to begin - but you're between the ending and the beginning.  To get out of limbo, you have to look at everything you've been carrying with you.  You have to unpack your bag and then repack it, so you can go on with the next phase of your life.

Today, more and more people are being struck by more and more triggers.  One out of every two marriages ends in divorce.  Every eight seconds, one of the country's 76 million Baby Boomers turns 50.  In the workplace, companies have downsized and reengineered, and people have become free agents.  As a consequence, more people are asking themselves where they're going, what they're going to do with the rest of their lives, and what really matters to them.  These aren’t decisions you can just think your way through.  They involve emotions more than ideas - how we feel about ourselves, more than how we think about ourselves.

2. Answer these two questions. 
Ask yourself these questions and answer them honestly: What do you want? And how will you know when you get it?

People really do have their own solutions.  The problem is, either they don't know how to discover them, or they avoid discovering them.  But if you want to come up with good decisions for your work and your life, simply ask those two questions, because it comes down to the very simple things.

3. Feed these three hungers
There are three hungers that people are trying to feed throughout their lives.  The first is to connect deeply with the creative spirit of life.  Sooner or later, most people come to recognize that there is some sort of creative energy that infuses all of life.  They feel a hunger to touch that energy and to be touched by it.  That doesn't mean you have to be a creative person in a classic sense - to make your living as a painter, a dancer, a writer, or an actor.  It could mean an experience as universal as bringing a child into the world, or helping to nurture and shape a life.  It could mean finding ways to infuse the workplace with more creativity and more playfulness.

The second hunger is to know and express your gifts and talents.  The people I have met in my 30 years as a career counselor are always absolutely sure they have some unique talent.  They may not know what it is yet.  They may not know how to express it.  It may have nothing to do with how they earn a living or what they do at work.  But they know they have something within them that they have to contribute.  And this feeling lasts throughout your lifetime:  The healthiest seniors I've met continue to explore their gifts and abilities, long after they’ve left the workplace.

The third hunger is to know that our lives matter.  Everyone wants to leave behind some kind of legacy, some kind of personal mark.  It doesn't have to be great or magnificent.  But human beings know that at one level, we each have our own unique thumbprint, and we all want to leave that print behind for others to see that we've been here.  We can be successful, make a lot of money, reach a certain status, but it will be success without fulfillment.  Fulfillment comes from feeding these three hungers.

4. Discover the four factors of every decision
No matter what decision you're facing, the same four elements apply.  First, to discover how to live from the inside out.  You absolutely have to start with yourself, not with the external demands of the situation.  Second, discover your gifts.  What is it that makes you unique?  What song do you want to sing?  Third, discover what moves you.  Where do you find joy?  A decision that connects with your own emotions is much more likely to succeed.  And fourth, discover solitude.  Go to a special place where you can find quiet.  If it's in the mountains, take the time to get there.  If you can’t go there, create a space in which you can find a similar piece of mind.  In solitude, you're much more likely to deal with the first three elements of this process.

5. Answer the ultimate question
The ultimate question is, What is your vision of the good life?  In this culture, there's a tendency to talk about the good life in consumerist terms.  It's all external.  We measure the good life by the car we drive, the Scotch we drink, the designer brand we wear, the community we live in.  In doing research for my books I ask people their definition of the good life.  Remarkably, I hear the same answer:  The good life means living in the place where you belong, being with the people you love, doing the right work on purpose.

You can boil it down to these four elements.  You live in a place where you feel you belong.  You're with people you love, and your relationships are working, including your relationship with yourself.  You've got the right work:  You're using your talents on something you believe in, in an environment that fits who you are.  And you're doing it all on purpose:  It fits your overall philosophy.

With all those elements, you look at your life and you work from the inside out.  They're all about you as an individual, about creating meaning for yourself, rather than having the outside world create it for you.

6. Make every job search an inventure and an adventure
Looking for a job is so much a part of everyone's experience, and is so important to each of us, that not only is it worth talking about in its own terms, but it also relates to the much larger issue of personal direction.  Start with a fairly simple fact: If you don't know what you're looking for almost any job will look great.  And if you don't know where you're going, a lot of paths will take you there.  But if you do care where you work and where you're going, how do you assess what's right for you?

We all need good information to make good decisions.  There are two paths to good information gathering.  The first is internal - I call it "in-verturing".  It means taking a very long look inside yourself.  For some people, particularly tough minded, old school business people, that can be very difficult.  This personal reflection stuff is not their cup of tea.  They're not interested in it, and they're not comfortable with it.  For others, it's not only part of who they are - they've built time for it into their life.  By participating in such programs as Outward Bound, they try to live a more conscious reflective life.

Whether you're comfortable with it or not, to make a good life decision, you have to answer some hard questions about who you are and what you want.  I believe we all have answers to those questions - we all have mental maps that express our innermost sense of ourselves.  In-verturing gives us the quite and the time to discover those maps.

Then, after you know more about your map, you're ready for the second part of good information gathering: adventuring.  Adventuring takes you out into the world, prepares you to find the people and the environments that fit your needs, suit your talents and match your map.  Of course, in reality, you don't first do in-venturing and then do adventuring; they happen simultaneously.

But frequently, in-venturing doesn’t happen at all - people simply avoid it.  An event will trigger a change, but instead of taking time for reflection, they go back out into the world.  And what they find is the same type of job, and the same type of situation that didn't work for them before.

You see the same pattern in both work and marriage:  You leave a job that makes you unhappy - and then you find the same kind of job.  You get divorced and then marry the same kind of person.  And typically, you blame the world for these bad experiences, rather than doing self reflection or finding some coach to break the pattern.

7. Use this formula for a good career decision
Over the years, I've devised a very simple formula that lays out the critical factors to consider when you're making a career choice:  T + P + E x V

T stands for talent, and it's where you should begin when you're considering a career choice or a career change.  Very simply the questions are, What are your strengths and weaknesses?  How can you focus on your strengths and manage your weaknesses?

Most people aren't using their talents.  They didn't choose their career, their career chose them.  They got into a line of work because they had to get a job, or somebody told them they'd be good at a job.  They were young, they started down a certain path, and they never stopped to ask what their calling might be - not just their job, but their real calling.  Then before you know it, they hit midlife, and they're asking themselves, "Why am I doing this?  Why did I start down this path instead of following my real talents?”

P stands for passion, or for purpose.  Talents develop best in the context of interest.  Aristotle said it a long time ago: "Where the needs of the world and your talents cross, there lies your vocation."  Ask yourself, "What needs doing in your organisation?  What needs doing in the world?"  Then put your talents to work on some area of need that you believe in.  Choosing your work is your chance to do something more meaningful than getting up in the morning, putting in your time, doing what it takes to pay the bills.

The E stands for environment:  What work environment best suits your style, your temperament, your values?  I often meet people who have identified their talents and their passion, but who are working in an environment that doesn't permit them to express themselves.  When they move to a new environment, one that uses their talents and honors their values, they suddenly find an alignment that works.  They discover new energy and new purpose in their work.

V stands for vision - how you see the rest of your life.  Talent, purpose and environment are all about work style and work choice.  Vision describes how work fits into the rest of your life.  Where do you want to live?  How much money is enough?  How important are your relationships?  What are you doing to stay healthy?

8. Live in the real world
In an ideal world, you would do what you love, and get paid handsomely for it.  But in the real world, you're often pulled in two or more different directions.  It's become popular to say, "Just follow your bliss and the money will come."  I don't believe that at all.  These decisions take hard work.  You can't simplify life into that kind of wishful thinking.

But what does work is something called natural productivity.  It happens when the elements of that formula T + P + E x V are in alignment:  You do your best when you're using your talents on something you believe in, and when your environment supports your effort.  The number one factor that holds people back in their environment.  People have real talents that they're prepared to apply to something they believe in, but their environment is toxic.  They take their talents and sense of purpose to a job across the street and they shine.

Mostly people who feel tension between what they say they want to do and what they find themselves doing simply haven't done their homework.  They're waiting for someone else to make the choice for them - or for the world to present them with a corner office, a lot of money and a life of travel.

9. Don't sell yourself short
Work can and should give you a sense of joy.  You spend 60% of your life doing work or getting ready for it.  So, to dismiss your work by saying, "I'm just doing this to pay the bills" seems like an enormous trade off.  Are you really willing to trade off 60% of your time juts to have money to spend in the time that's left?  That's not a good investment.  And if money is what motivates you, ask yourself this:  What if you could invest in yourself?  Would you invest more if you knew you were working on something that used your talents and tapped your passion?  If you could invest in yourself, why not invest in your time?

10. Find motivation from within - and from without
I'm not naïve about motivation.  External rewards like money play an important role in motivating people.  But so does getting recognition for mastery.  I know a lot of people who have made a lot of money, and what they want now is the recognition that comes from being at the top of their profession.  Another motivator is a chance to work with a team that you value in a place where you feel valued.  You love going to work because of the people you're working with.  Together you have a chance to create something that really matters.  On an internal level, recognising your talents can be a great motivator:  What you want more than anything else is the opportunity to express yourself.  For purposes of self motivation, nothing is more powerful than the desire to demonstrate your talents.

11. Get advice from within - and from without
I start with one simple truth:  All change is internal change.  Ultimately every decision comes from within you - and you can't separate yourself into a work "you" and a life "you".  Every decision touches all of you.

That said, it's just as critical to have other people you can turn to for advice and perspective - a personal board of directors.  You need a variety of people, each with a different outlook.  As you go down the boardroom table, you see your family; you see someone who's been a mentor to you.

I recommend at least one or two people who are "go - to" people - regular sounding boards.  You need at least one person you see all the time, someone who's a great listener and who allows you to make your decision.  You're not asking that person to make the decision.  You're asking them to listen and to help you with your decision process.

You may even have someone on your board who's no longer alive - but whose opinion you value and with whom you can have a virtual conversation about the decision you're facing.

12. Make your decisions the way senior citizens wish they had
For nearly 25 years, I've been doing interviews with senior citizens, asking them to look back over their lives and talk about what they've learned.  I've conducted more than 1,000 interviews with people who were successful in their jobs, who retired from leading companies after distinguished careers.  Almost without exception, when these older people look back, they say the same things - things that are instructive and useful for the rest of us as we make decisions going forward in our lives.

First, they say if they could live their lives over, they would be more reflective.  They got so caught up in the doing, they say, that they often lost sight of the meaning.  Usually it took a crisis for them to look at their lives in perspective and try to reestablish the context.  Looking back, they wish they had stopped at regular intervals to look at the big picture.

They also sounded a warning:  Life picks up speed.  The first half of your life is about getting prepared and getting established.  Then time shifts gears.  You hit the second half of your life and everything moves faster.  Days turn into weeks, weeks into months, and all of a sudden you're 65 years old.  Looking back, they say, you realize that time is the most precious currency in life.  And as they get older, having time for reflection became even more important.

Second, if they could live their lives over again, they would take more risks.  In relationships, they would have been more courageous.  And in expressing their creative side, they would have taken more chances.  I think it was Oliver Wendell Holmes who said "Most of us go to our graves with our music still inside us."  Many of these people felt that, despite their successes, their music was still inside them.  Almost all of them said they felt most alive when they took risks.  Just being busy from business made them numb.  Aliveness came with growing, stretching, exploring.

Third, if they could live their lives over again, they would understand what really gave them fulfillment.  I call that the power of purpose:  doing something that contributes to life, adding value to life beyond yourself.  Purpose is always outside yourself, beyond your ego or your financial self interest.

We all want both success and fulfillment.  Success is often measured in external ways, but there's an internal measure of success, and it's called fulfillment.  Fulfillment comes from realizing your talents - adding value and living by your values.  Fulfillment comes from integrity, from being who you are and expressing who you are as fully as possible.  It doesn't have to do with your job description or the specifics of your work.  It has to do with how you bring yourself to your work, regardless of what that work is.

Reading 2 - Get What You Want Out Of Life

By  Robert McGarvey

Years before rising to prominence as coach of the University of Notre Dame’s prestigious football team in America, Lou Holtz made a list of 107 things “to do before I die”.  It covered the gamut from attending a dinner at the White House to sky diving.

So far, Holtz has made it to goal 91.  “Set goals and follow through on them,” he says.  “You transform yourself from one of life’s spectators into a real participant.”

We all have dreams and desires, but relatively few people have goals.  Strongly held wishes – “I want to be rich”  or  “I wish I were thinner” – do not qualify.  Though they begin as dreams, goals are specific objectives, attained only through concrete action.  “If you can’t measure it, rate it or describe it, it is probably not a goal,” says Michael LeBoeuf, a business consultant.

Coach Holtz sees this first hand.  Nearly every first year player dreams of professional football.  He explains to them the distinction between goals and fantasies.  “I tell them lots of little goals lie between training camp and playing with a professional team.  First they have to make the Notre Dame team.  Then, one by one, they have to clear the hurdles, and that’s true of every goal we set.”

As Holtz suggests, high achievers know exactly where they want to go.  Here are the steps he and others have followed to fulfil their dreams.

Define your objective
From the time he was eight years old, Dave Thomas wanted to own a restaurant.  “That way,” he says, “I’d never be hungry.”  Orphaned at birth, Thomas never had a stable home life.  Nor did he excel at studies.  But he clung to his goal.

When he was 12, Thomas got a job cleaning tables in a restaurant.  Later, he worked his way up to become a restaurant manager.  He turned around four failing fried chicken restaurants and became an executive with a national chain. 

Finally, after putting together the necessary capital, he opened his own place and named it after his daughter Wendy.  Today he has over 3,800 restaurants.

“I didn’t set my sights on owning a thousand restaurants or even ten,” he says.  “I just concentrated on making one profitable, then another, one step at a time.  Too often people set a difficult task, then give up.  Goals should be focussed on what is achievable.”

Put it on paper 
Once you’ve defined your goal, write it down.  High achievers trace their accomplishments to the time they committed their goals to paper.

When Curtis Carlson was 24, he founded the Gold Bond Stamp Company in Minneapolis and set a goal of earning 100 dollars per week – a princely sum in the Depression.  He wrote down that objective and carried it in his pocket until the paper was frayed.  Today, Carlson Companies ranks among America’s largest privately held corporations, with annual revenues topping 9,000 million dollars.

“Writing out a goal crystallizes it in my mind,” says Carslon.  “I can quickly evaluate whether decisions will take me towards that objective or away from it.”

Map your strategy 
Breaking a goal down into bite sized pieces makes achieving it seem less intimidating.  A technique called backward planning consists of setting an objective and then retracing the steps needed to achieve it.

When Jeff Jackson lost his job as manager of a car dealership, the 36 year old could have landed another sales position.  But he had dreamt of being an independent filmmaker.

It’s now or never, he thought.  Expenses for the project he had in mind would come to 250,000 dollars.  It seemed far fetched, but he had an idea.

The property where Jackson lived was for sale, and he sketched out a series of goals to buy it.  These included finding partners and identifying a potential buyer to make a quick resale.

By pooling resources, Jackson and his team bought the building and promptly resold it for a profit.  With this cash, Jackson bought land, and by selling off small parcels he’s been able to finance his film.  “As I made the individual steps happen,” he says, “I became increasingly sure I could do it.”

Set a deadline 
“A goal is a dream with a deadline,” says motivational expert Zig Ziglar.  “Deadliness provide a time frame for action and get us moving in pursuit of our dreams.”

When Jan McBarron, a nurse, was 25, she acted on her dream of becoming a doctor.  “At first, I thought it was beyond my grasp,” she says.  Then she saw each step towards medical school had a built in deadline.

“Rather than dread deadlines, I used them,” she says.  “Applications had to be in by a certain date, assignments completed at a certain time.  Once I saw what deadlines could do, I began setting my own.”

Twelve years later, Dr McBarron enjoys a thriving medical practice.

Commit yourself
Sales trainer Dave Grant offers this example.  Say your goal is to go to Tahiti a year from now.  What steps can you take ?  How about giving a travel agent a non-refundable deposit ?  If you are really committed, you will make that goal a reality.

That sort of gamble can be used in professional life as well.  Set an ambitious target and commit to it with your boss.  You’ll find you can rally resources you never thought you had.

Don’t fear failure 
Sixteen years ago, Pam Lontos was unemployed and 18 kilograms over weight.  “I was afraid of everything,” she says.  “Nothing was going my way.”

One day in 1976, on impulse, the 31 year old joined a health club, began listening to motivational tapes, and things started clicking.

As her appearance improved, so did her confidence.  “I was still plagued by fear of failure,” she says, “but I decided I had to take steps towards a career goal.”

Lontos asked the club’s owner for a job selling memberships, and within a few months she was the club’s top salesperson.  After two years, she found a bigger challenge in advertising sales with a radio station.  Sales zoomed.

Lontos’s impressive record prompted the station’s owners to promote her to top management.  “In three and a half years, I’d gone from a frightened, overweight housewife to an executive with a major entertaining company,” she says.  “I did it by taking small steps.  That’s the only way I could overcome my fears of failing.”

Usually, it’s the anticipation of failure that paralyzes, not failure itself, according to management consultant Allan Cox.  “We survive our failures,” he says.  “We pick ourselves up and try again.  We have to.”

Persist, Persist 
Along the way to any goal, you will be confronted with obstacles.  Belief in yourself can act as an anaesthetic against these setbacks.

After he was expelled from university, Duke Rudman drifted into jobs in the Texas oilfields.  As he gathered experience, he dreamt of trying his hand at independent oil exploration.

Whenever he could scrape together a few thousand dollars, Rudman leased drilling equipment and sank a well.  He drilled 29 wells over two years, each time coming up dry.  “That,” he says, “was failure.”

Nearing 40, Rudman still hadn’t hit oil.  To improve his chances, he studied land formations, shale types and other aspects of geology.  Then he leased his thirtieth tract.  This time a huge oil reservoir was discovered under his land.

Three of every four holes Rudman drills, turn up dry.  Over 60 years he believes he has failed more frequently than anybody in the business.  But he has struck oil often enough to accumulate a fortune.

“There were days when I wanted to give up,” says Rudman.  “But I’d just push the thought away and get back to work.”

It’s Never Too Late 
Age is not a barrier to achievement.  As we grow older and learn more, we gain the confidence to take on new challenges.

Ask Kirk Fordice.  Fordice prospered as a contractor in Mississippi, but as he entered his fifties he wanted more.  With a friend’s encouragement, Fordice decided to run for governor.  The idea seemed ludicrous to some, but not to Fordice, even though he was nearly unknown.

Fordice became convinced that the politicians weren’t listening to what the voters were saying, so he drew up a plan to mount a challenge.  Then, at 57, he announced his candidacy.

Rather than play down his age and relative lack of experience, Fordice put them to work for himself as assets.  “I honestly felt it would take someone like me from the real world to make a difference,” he says.

On election day, to everyone’s surprise, he won.  “Nobody ever told me I was too old to try this,” says Governor Fordice today.  “When I entered the race, I set the goal of going all the way.  Now I’ve set goals for the next four years and am committed to seeing them through.”

This then is the power of goals: they can give us new energy, new direction, a purpose we might have lacked.  And as Coach Lou Holtz has demonstrated they can help us get the most out of life.

Exercise 4 - Defining Your Vision And Goals

"Remember that you only have one soul; that you only have one death to die; that you only have one life, which is short and has to be lived by you alone; and there is only one glory which is eternal. If you do this, there will be many things about which you care nothing.”
St. Theresa of Avila, Maxims for her nuns

Your first task is to create a picture in your mind of what you want to create (plant the seeds of possibility).

To do this – take yourself off somewhere quiet. Still your mind and then project yourself forwards to the time you have set for your Vision. Imagine you are sitting comfortably in a favourite spot reflecting backwards on the time that has passed since you did this Vision Quest.

See if you can write a statement about what has happened and how you FEEL about it.

When you have finished writing the statement read it back to yourself and see if it is 10/10 – if not re-write it and keep re-writing it until it is 10/10.

Now see if you can anchor some of the statements and feelings to past events that were similar in nature. For example – if you are writing ‘I am fit, energetic and feel great about myself’ then think back to a time in your life when this was the case – connect the two times together.

If you can’t connect to an experience you have had then consider someone else who is how you want to be. Take a moment to imagine what it is like to be them. FEEL what it is like to be them. Anchor your Vision to this feeling.

The language of creation is the language of FEELING.

Write your Vision Statement into your Personal Development Plan.

Note that in doing this exercise different things are going to work for different people. So, you may wish to get a large sheet of paper and your coloured pencils out and draw the Vision. You might want to cut things out of magazines and stick them to a sheet of paper. Whatever works for you is ok.
You may wish to stick this up on a wall somewhere you will see it.

Next take this Vision Statement and break it down into the 5 elements – Physical, Mental, Emotional, Spiritual, Material. Use the format in the Personal Development Plan

Under each heading write a ‘Being’ statement and a ‘Doing’ list for each element - that is for physical the ‘being’ part might be 'To live a life with boundless/limitless energy'. Then the ‘doing’ list could be – ‘I exercise 3 times per week, I do yoga and stretching every day, I eat healthy organic food’.

When you have completed this part of the exercise you may feel like it’s all a bit overwhelming so the next step is to take a step back and consider what are the 80/20 projects? That is the key issues that when addressed will get you 80% of the way there but take only 20% of the effort. It’s an energy management question.

When you have determined what these issues are fill them in on the Personal Development Plan.

Exercise 5 - Open Your Heart

“Your Vision will become clear only when you look into your heart.
Who looks outside dreams. Who looks inside awakens.”
Carl Jung

This exercise is about locating the place within you where you hold the things that are most dear to you. It is aimed at opening you up to this place and allowing you to tune in to that guidance when you need to make difficult decisions. And also to check that the path you are on is in alignment with what you feel deep within yourself.

The more deeply and realistically you can visualise this exercise the better. So if you can take yourself off to a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed for about half an hour that would be perfect.

First imagine that you have recently been to the doctor to have a complete physical check up so that you can update your life insurance.

The phone rings and it is your doctor’s receptionist telling you that the doctor would like to see you to discuss the results of the tests. You work out an appropriate time with her and soon you are sitting in the waiting room ready to see your doctor. Think at this point about what your doctor’s waiting room looks like. What do you see? How many people are there? What do you hear?

After a short wait your name is called and you are led through to the doctor’s room. The doctor sits down in their chair and invites you to sit also. Visualise what the room looks like, what your doctor looks like, what the room smells like.

The doctor looks you in the eye with a grave expression,

“We’ve got all your results back” they say “but I’m afraid there are some anomalies in your tests and I have some bad news for you. You are going to die in thirty days. There will be no pain or degeneration. In thirty days from now you will simply and peacefully pass away.”

Think now about this news. Look at today’s date – think that on the same date in a month’s time you will be dead.

Now – what are the three to five most important things you would like to do in that time??

Assume here that you can teleport yourself all over the place instantaneously so if you wish to see loved ones who live far away you can do that immediately.

When you have written the three to five things down continue the visualisation.

Now – go back into the vision of being in the doctor’s room. Same scenario except his time the Doctor says to you that you have seven days to live. So, if today is Saturday – next Saturday you will be dead.

What are the three to five things you would most like to do in that time? These may be exactly the same as the first part of the exercise or they may change.

When you have written these down – continue below.

So – back to the vision again, except this time the Doctor says you have one day to live. So this time tomorrow you will be dead.

What are the three to five most important things you wish to do?

Write these down and continue.

Back to the vision again for the last time. This time the Doctor says you have one hour to live.

What are the three most important things you wish to do in that time? And

What are the thoughts that are going through your head?

What are the feelings that you are having?

What is your sense of self?

What are the physical sensations you are having?

When you have written all of these things down tune into them all and determine where in your body is all of this located? Where is the centre of this feeling?

When you have located this spot you have found the place where you hold the things that are most dear to you.

Now imagine a sphere of white light in this place. Imagine this sphere as a portal into which you can place things and get a feeling reaction.

From now on you can use this to make intuitive feeling based decisions about crucial things.

Take the work that you have done on your Vision Statement and Goals - place it within your white light sphere. Now without thinking about it just feel whether or not it feels right or not.

If yes – move into action, if not – rewrite them.

This is the process of opening yourself up to feeling based intuitive guidance. The more you use this method the easier it will become to ‘hear’ what you heart and gut are telling you.

Reading 3 - Work and Life

by Chuck Salter
First appeared: Fast Company issue 30 page 198 December 1999 

"When you learn how to die, you learn how to live."

Morrie Schwartz used to say that he wanted to be remembered as "a teacher to the last." Well, he got his wish. Four years after he succumbed to Lou Gehrig's disease, Morrie is teaching more students than ever -- millions all over the world. And his class is still growing.

For nearly 30 years, he taught sociology to students at Brandeis University. But in the last year of his life, he taught anyone and everyone -- family, friends, colleagues, journalists -- something even more profound: how to live a meaningful life, and how to die with no regrets. Now he's best known as the old sage in "Tuesdays with Morrie: An Old Man, a Young Man, and Life's Greatest Lesson" ( Doubleday, 1997 ), a loving tribute written by one of his former students, Detroit-based sportswriter Mitch Albom. With 2.8 million copies in print, the book has remained on the "New York Times" best-seller list for two years running. It has been translated into 22 languages. And earlier this year, "Morrie: In His Own Words" ( Walker and Co., 1999 ), a collection of his aphorisms, was republished.

Why the enormous interest in what a retired college professor had to say? The answer is simple: Morrie offered candid, heartfelt insight into many of the philosophical questions that so many of us ask ourselves ( or should be asking ourselves ) about life, work, community, relationships, aging, and death. And he offered all of this insight from a unique perspective. After being diagnosed with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis ( ALS ) in the summer of 1994, he decided to make the act of dying another educational opportunity: The living would learn from his experience with death. "When you learn how to die," Morrie said, "you learn how to live.”

So he taught Albom, who had lost touch with him after graduating from college. And he taught Ted Koppel, during three touching "Nightline" specials. In the process, Morrie became a mentor to millions of readers and viewers, regardless of their age, wealth, or occupation. But his lessons hold special power for businesspeople, who are consumed by the opportunities of the new world of work -- yet often unaware of the costs associated with their achievements.

Slow down long enough to take stock, Morrie advised Albom during the first of his weekly visits: "Have you found someone to share your heart with? Are you giving to your community? Are you at peace with yourself?" The biggest mistake that most people make, Morrie said, is being shortsighted. "One hundred and ten years from now no one who is here now will be alive," he wrote. "When you look at it that way, you can see how absurd it is that we individualize ourselves with our fences and hoarded possessions."

It's easy to understand why people lose perspective. The pressure to perform is overwhelming, Morrie said. It pushes people to strive for status, power, and money -- regardless of the sacrifice. It pushes them to go it alone. "We have a sense that we should be like the mythical cowboy ... able to take on and conquer anything and live in the world without the need for other people," he wrote. Morrie believed that the opposite is true: that a community is far more powerful than an individual and that making an impact on that community is far more fulfilling than focusing only on individual goals.

If we're all so smart, then why aren't more of us happy? That was a question that Morrie was happy to wrestle with. Happiness, he said, comes from figuring out what gives your life purpose and then devoting yourself with passion to that purpose. For Morrie, that defining passion was teaching. Happiness comes from opening up to people, emotions, and experiences. For Morrie, the key experience was dancing, always dancing. But happiness also comes from knowing and accepting your limitations and imperfections. For Morrie, the key limitation was his body, which grew weaker as ALS limited his ability to walk, to feed himself, to breathe freely.

Laugh at yourself, Morrie urged. Forgive yourself for not doing the things that you should have done. He didn't pine for lost youth: "You know what that reflects? Unsatisfied lives. Unfulfilled lives. Lives that haven't found meaning. Because if you've found meaning in your life, you don't want to go back. You want to go forward."

Much of his advice may seem like common sense. Yet people often fail to act on such common sense, Morrie said, because they're either sleepwalking or sprinting their way through life. Dying provides the kind of clarity that people need earlier in life but usually lack, Morrie said. Why not practice that greater awareness in your daily life now? "We're involved in trillions of little acts just to keep going," he wrote. "So we don't get into the habit of standing back and looking at our lives and saying, Is this all? Is this all I want? Is something missing? ... Dying is only one thing to be sad over.... Living unhappily is something else."

Is his message sappy? Sure. That was Morrie. Is it simplistic? Well, Morrie didn't think that the best answers were necessarily the most complicated answers. Sometimes, the simplest advice is also the truest advice, and, in that spirit, Morrie liked to quote this line from W.H. Auden: "Love each other or perish."

"Everything that gets born dies," Morrie wrote. "The best way to deal with that is to live in a fully conscious, compassionate, loving way.... Don't wait until you're on your deathbed to recognize that this is the only way to live."

The only way to live. Take it from Morrie, a teacher to the last.

Reading 4 - How To Be An Artist

Stay loose.  Learn to watch snails.  Plant impossible gardens.  Invite someone dangerous to tea.  Make little signs that say Yes !  and post them all over your house.  Make friends with freedom and uncertainty.  Look forward to dreams.  Cry during movies.  Swing as high as you can on a swingset, by moonlight.  Cultivate moods.  Refuse to ‘be responsible’.  Do it for love.  Take lots of naps.  Give money away.  Do it now.  The money will follow.  Believe in magic.  Laugh a lot.  Celebrate every gorgeous moment.  Take moonbaths.  Have wild imaginings, transformative dreams and perfect calm.  Draw on the walls.  Read everyday.  Imagine yourself magic.  Giggle with children.  Listen to old people.  Open up.  Dive in.  Be free.  Bless yourself.  Drive away fear.  Play with everything.  Entertain your inner child.  You are innocent.  Build a fort with blankets.  Get wet.  Hug trees.  Write love letters.

Exercise 6 - Creating Milestones

Once you have done the Vision Quest exercise and you are happy with your vision statements you need to take some time out and 'sit' in that ideal future. When you can see, feel and touch the ideal future look backwards in time to the present and think about what the key milestones were that showed you things were changing.

The reason we do this exercise is because the Vision itself may be so big that it is daunting – so big that you can’t get ‘into action’ around it – so big that you have a constant little voice inside your head saying ‘you’ll never be able to do that so why even try?’

When mountain climbers attempt to reach the top of Mt Everest they don’t simply start climbing and keep plodding until they get to the top. No – there are about 5 steps along the way – Base camp, Camp 1, 2, 3 and 4. The climb to the top doesn’t just go Base Camp, 1, 2, 3, 4 – summit, either. It goes more like Base Camp to Camp 1 then back to Base Camp then up to 1 then down to Base Camp then up to 2 then back to Base Camp etc. The reason is that climbers need to acclimatise to each new level of altitude. Until they have completed each individual step they can’t even begin to think about the next step. But they know each time they get to a new camp they are making progress.

Your Vision is the same. You need to develop specific Milestones along the way – stepping stones to your final destination. Then instead of focussing on the overwhelming vision, you can simply focus on the first step – which is a much more manageable goal.
 
Depending on what your Vision is you may need to do this for every one of the five key issues or you may be able to just develop milestones for the overall Vision.

Now the hard part – see if you can put some dates next to the milestones.

And finally ask – how are you going to reward yourself when you reach these milestones?
 
When you have completed this exercise, stick the sheet up on the wall underneath your life Vision. Now you should be able to see at a glance what you are doing here and how you are trying to do it.

Exercise 7 - Developing an Action Plan

Now you have the key 80/20 issues and milestones for either each one or the overall Vision the next step is to develop an action plan. For each issue there are 5 areas or conversations you need to address.

PEOPLE
  Who needs to be involved?
  How are we going to work together? – Game Rules
  Whose support do you need?
  Who are the switch throwers?
  How will you enrol people? – remember W.I.I.F.M.? (What’s in it for me?)

IDEAS
  Brainstorming
  Challenge Dominant thinking
– What happens if we cut the aspect away?
- What are the reasons behind this?
- What are the alternatives?
  Ask other people who are already there

RESOURCES
  What resources do you need?
- $s, information, equipment etc
  How will you measure success?
  How will you celebrate success?
- include how will you thank the people who have helped you?

ACTION
  Committed actions and communications
- Yes, No or Counter offer

BREAKDOWNS
  Call it ! Then ask:-
  What are the facts not the story?
  What do you want? What are you committed to?
  Are you still committed?
  What conversation is missing? Or what action is next?
  DO IT!

THE D.E.A.R. LOOP

A good tool to use for applying these conversations is the DEAR loop:-
- D – Make a Declaration
- What is your intention? What do you want to achieve? What are your goals and expected outcomes?
- E – Exploration
- Are there any issues or concerns? Who are the key people? What ideas do we have? What are the milestones? What resources do we need?
- A – Action
- Make a commitment to take specific action
- R – Results/Review
- What results have been achieved and what needs to be done next?

Put your answers in the Personal Development Plan and then use the Summary page to summarise. Again this is an energy management question so just identify the key issues and the 10 most important actions. You can also take this page and put it up on the wall next to the Vision and the Milestones.

Exercise 8 - Walking Between The Worlds

Once you have your Vision along with the Milestones and the Action Plan try the following exercise:-

Go off to a quite place where you can meditate and get yourself into a calm centred and relaxed state. Now take yourself forwards in time to the end point in your Vision (whatever time frame you set for your Vision – e.g. 6 months, 2 years, 5 years etc).

Come into the reality of your Vision as an observer. Find yourself – your ‘FutureMe’ - in your Vision and sit and watch and observe ‘FutureMe’.

How is FutureMe being? How is FutureMe behaving? How is FutureMe feeling?

Watch and observe FutureMe for as long as you can.
When you are ready come back to the present and reground yourself.

Now ask yourself – Am I in love with FutureMe?

That is, when you reflect on what you saw as your future self – did you absolutely 100% unreservedly LOVE FutureME??

If yes, your Vision is good. If not then you need to revisit your Vision and revisit and refine FutureMe until you do get to the point where you are in LOVE with FutureMe.

Once you are at that point you then need to practice Walking between the Worlds. Taking time to go to the future and observe FutureMe and the world in which he or she lives. Charge this world with as much emotional energy as possible. Ask yourself WHY you want this will stir emotions. Visualise it with as much clarity as possible so as to begin to put some spin and momentum into the Future/Present loop that you wish to create.

Remember the aim here is to train your mind to seize the moment of opportunity that arises in between thought and action and to take action aligned to the Future you desire rather than the Past that you are addicted to. By visualising the Future with emotional intensity what we wish to do is to start to tap into our feelings about this Future and hence create the corresponding chemicals AND replace our old addictions with new ones.

Make sense?

The more you Walk between the Worlds the more you will build a relationship with FutureMe. The more you will create a strong link between your Present reality and the Future you want.

Once you have done this - when faced with a decision in the Present you can simply ask – What would FutureMe do in this situation?

When you have your answer don’t try to rationalise it. Don’t try to justify it in any way. Just do it and slowly but surely you will become FutureMe.

The second part of Walking between the Worlds is walking backwards and reclaiming your power.

In this exercise, you need to identify any past issues that bother you or somehow limit you from being who you want to be.

Take yourself off somewhere quiet once again and get yourself centred and grounded. When you are ready go back to the time in question. Observe your PastMe for a while until you feel you have truly connected. Now sit down with PastMe and have a talk with them.

What do you feel you need to say to your Past self? What does PastMe most need to know so that they can be truly whole and truly powerful?

Make peace with PastMe and nurture them as much as possible. Help them to release whatever fear, doubt or anxiety they may be holding onto. Lastly, bring them into a space of joy and see them happy and playing.

When you are ready come back to the Present and reground yourself in the moment.

Now you know how to Walk between the Worlds.

Next challenge is to practice it until you are fluid in the skill and able to float between the Past, Present and the Future as your needs desire.

Exercise 9 - Getting Beyond Thinking

We have been led to believe that time flows forever forwards. That the past creates the present which in turn creates the future. This way of thinking sticks us well and truly in the mire of thinking, rationalising and worrying about how we can create the future we want.

But is this true? What if I suggested to you that time flows the other way around? That actually the future becomes the present which in turn becomes the past? That if you sit here right now perfectly still, doing nothing, the future will still continue to smack you right in the face. Could you release yourself from the mire of worrying and have some Faith then?

Try this exercise:-
Consider where you are right now in your life and then think back to all of the significant events, planned and unplanned, that have led you to be where you are right now. Identify the pathway that has led you to this point. Did you ‘work out’ that pathway? Could it be possible that the future has actually created the Past? That the act of holding that Future possibility (which has now become reality) in your mind at some level (conscious or unconscious) has actually led you along a path to that reality? If you didn’t ‘work it out’ in the past what makes you think you can ‘work it out now’?

Once you have done this exercise begin your day by doing some meditation and then consider the proposition that the future and the visions and dreams that we have for the future actually create our reality.

Now say to yourself or write out "Even though I do not understand how the world works I choose to believe that everything is perfect right now". Finally, release any worries or concerns you have to the Universe and set your intention that no matter what happens today, no matter how bad or good you may think it is, you will have Faith that it is happening for a very good reason - that you do not need to know what this reason is - and that everything is perfect right now.

Exercise 10 - The Journey

In order to know where we are going we need to know where we have been and where we are know. Focussing too much on the Past or the Future may cause you to forget where you are right now. Acknowledging your place on the journey is important because in every moment we have the opportunity to create ourselves as the person we wish to be.

The ideal place to do this exercise is on the beach where you can draw 3 huge circles but if that is not possible use three big sheets of paper and draw a circle in each one that is big enough to stand in. Label the first one ‘Past’ the next ‘Present’ and the third ‘Future’.

Now stand or sit in the Past circle. Consciously take yourself back in time.
• How does it feel to be here?
• What stories do I tell myself here?
• Who am I?
• What do I believe I deserve from life?
Next move to the Present circle.
• How does it feel to be here?
• What ‘is’ now? What do I have that I am grateful for?
• Standing here – what do you want to say to PastMe?
Next move to the Future circle.
• Who am I here?
• How does it feel to be here?
• Standing here – what do you want to say to PresentMe?

Acknowledging where you are on the Journey – what is the most important thing you need to DO now to honour your place on the Journey of life?

Exercise 11 - Creating a Circle of Honour

How often do you let things slide because you don’t want to upset people or it’s easier not to make a fuss?

Do you lie in bed later on wishing you had stood up for yourself?

You will fail to honour others if you don’t honour yourself first because the most precious gift you can give another is truth.

To create a circle of honour go to the beach, the park or the bush – or if you can’t do that simply get a large bit of paper.

Take a few moments to centre yourself by doing some breathing exercises and bringing yourself into the present moment. Set your intention to create your Circle of Honour – your sacred space in the world.

Now slowly and deliberately draw a circle big enough to easily sit in.

When you have finished step into the circle and sit in the middle. Say out loud ‘This is my circle of honour’ and become aware of the size of the circle and the area enclosed by the circle. Take a few moments to centre yourself with your breath.

When you are ready – ask yourself – ‘What type of behaviour is outside my circle?’
This may include: - other people yelling at you, criticising you, complaining to you, abusing you in any way, making sexist or racist remarks, trying to coerce you into doing things you don’t want to do etc.

Take a smaller piece of paper and draw a circle on it. Write all of these things down outside the circle.

Now ask yourself ‘What type of behaviour is inside my circle?’
This may include:- other people listen to my point of view, give me compliments and praise for the work I do, are considerate of my feelings etc.

Write all of these down inside the circle around its edge.

Now look over both of the lists and consider if this is the way you want others to behave towards you:–
‘Who do you need to be for this to happen?’

This may include:- I stand up for myself and speak my truth gently and compassionately at all times. I take the time to praise other people for the good things they do. I resist the urge to criticise others etc

Now draw a smaller circle inside the large circle and write these things down inside the new small circle.

Look at your final result. Feel what it is like to sit within your Circle of Honour.

Set your intention to take this into the World.

Exercise 12 - Maintaining Momentum

“Excellence then, is not an act but a habit”
Aristotle

Now you are at the end of the Vision Quest Program the question is how to maintain your momentum?

By now you should have a good daily practice established so consider the following:-

- What activities do I need to do every day to maintain momentum?

This could include:- meditation, journaling, gratitude, intention setting, breathing exercises, yoga, running etc.

In considering your Vision you will also see that the 5 elements – Physical, Mental, Emotional, Material and Spiritual are linked together like the parts of an apple. Each part must be maintained and worked on to allow the whole to thrive.

So, what activities do you need to DO on a weekly basis to keep you on track?

This could include: - going to the gym three times a week, eating healthily, taking time to be in nature, reading, seeing friends to socialise etc.

Finally, remember that we all lose our selves from time to time - we all get 'off the track' - so what's the enduring message you would like to write for yourself to read at those times?

Take your answers to these two questions and put them in your personal development plan.