A Warrior Makes Their Own Mood
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”
So, what if Marianne Williamson is right? What if we really are powerful beyond measure? What if, to paraphrase Will Smith “two plus two doesn’t have to equal four, it equals what we want it to equal”?
That’s a lot of responsibility isn’t it? Suddenly there’s no excuse for being a victim. Suddenly the phrase ‘if you’re not part of the solution you’re part of the problem’ takes on a whole new meaning.
In ‘Choosing Unconditional Love’ I wrote about the ability that we all have to choose to love ourselves unconditionally and then to choose to hold that space for another person. But what does ‘holding space’ mean? And how would you actually do it?
In a rational, logical three dimensional world it makes little sense at all because something either is or isn’t. Add the dimension of time however and the concept of ‘Holding Space’ becomes more relevant. In ‘Walking Between the Worlds’ I discussed the idea of time as something that was able to be travelled through. One can go back in time to visit one’s PastMe and forward in time to visit one’s FutureMe.
From the perspective of ‘Being and Time’ the concept of ‘Holding Space’ can now be applied. Simplistically you can retell the story about who you are and hence begin to change the ‘space’. But what are we actually talking about when we talk about ‘space’?
Delve into the world of quantum physics and we are able to add another dimension to our world. The dimension defined by the Quantum Field. According to Quantum Physics there is an energy field that links us all together. A field that we are not consciously aware of and yet has the ability to influence us on a subconscious level.
We all have the ability to interact with this field and even influence the field via our intentions. In 2003 Rupert Sheldrake wrote the book ‘The Sense of Being Stared at” in which he detailed experiments that showed a majority of people were aware of being stared at. It is something that all of us have experienced at some time in our lives but what’s this got to do with ‘Holding Space’?
Well, imagine our five dimensions from the perspective of being and the Past, Present, Future model that I have been using.
The world is not static. Nothing exists that does not change. Hence if you simply sit still and do nothing, time will not stop – rather it will continue to hit you in the face and your body and all the things around you will continue to change.
Now add in the Quantum Field energetic perspective. Everything has an energetic ‘signature’ or vibration and we all have an opportunity to influence the energetic field around us.
For instance, experiments have shown that we all have the ability to influence the moods of those around us. That the one who sets the ‘tone’ of a meeting is the one with the strongest resonance around a certain mood.
We’ve all experienced this too. You know the situation where you have been sailing along having a jolly old day just enjoying things and suddenly someone in a bad mood comes into your field and all they want to do is whine and moan about everything and anything. Initially you may try to deflect their vibe but it takes a lot of energy and often we get to the point where it seems we have no choice but to react.
Know what I mean?
So back to ‘Holding Space’.
‘Holding Space’ for yourself means holding a particular energetic vibration around a specific way of being DESPITE what anyone else does, says, thinks or feels AND staying in that space and ALLOWING the space time continuum to fill in the gap. Hence in the Future plant the seed then in the present HOLD THE SPACE.
The key here is that it is an act of WILL not reason.
Nelson Mandela quoted Marianne Williamson in his inaugural speech in 1994 for a very good reason. It was because after decades of abuse from the ruling white minority, the easy thing would have been for the majority black population to rise up in a violent wave of retribution. But as the next line of that quote goes:-
“It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.”
To my mind he is asking - Are you willing to step away from your anger? Are you willing to create something much much better?
Are you willing to BELIEVE in a greater possibility?
This is the ability to HOLD SPACE.
This is the challenge for a Warrior. Are you able to hold space DESPITE what anyone else is doing or saying? In the face of the ranting, angry masses are you able to maintain your composure and hold your energy in a loving space?
True power lies in the hands of those who are able to always be PRO-ACTIVE. By definition Pro-activeness takes you into the Future Present loop.
The moment you become re-active, you hand your power over to someone else. Now they are choosing how you are being. They are setting the agenda.
To hold space for yourself can be difficult if you are trying to ‘change your story’ about who you are. This is because of all the ‘evidence’ that you’ve accumulated over the years that you have been alive.
Going around and around in the Past/Present loop is all about Mastery of Reason.
Talking holds you in this loop – your fixed view of the world is held by your internal dialogue or self talk, talk of others and stories you tell about how the world works. In general most people are constantly trying to co-opt others to support their view of the world so they can be more safe and more comfortable that they are right. REGARDLESS of whether or not their view of the world is benevolent or antagonistic.
At the root of any argument in the Past/Present loop is evidence based on past events – either factual or interpretive.
If you want to hold space you’ve got to get good at operating in the Future/Present loop and this is all about Mastery of Will.
Feeling, dreaming, visioning takes you to this loop. Will holds the possibility. Will holds the space. Will holds the new concept of the world.
I believe therefore I am.
It can be quite easy to be in this space when you are all alone in your private place doing your visioning work walking between the worlds. The real challenge comes when you return to the ‘real’ world and stick your neck out/put your head on the chopping block/get bigger than your boots/think you’re better than you are/get an inflated view of yourself etc etc etc
Then guess what?
Everyone who’s been cheerfully plodding along in the Past/Present realm just reacting to things as they occur because they see themselves as completely POWERLESS to change things and hence complete VICTIMS of circumstance suddenly get a bit SHITTY and really want to CUT YOU DOWN TO SIZE!
Because you are COMPLETELY threatening their entire world view and by implication (in their minds) calling them a LOSER…
Or something minor happens which sows a seed of doubt in your mind and suddenly, without warning you are plunged back into the Past and begin reliving, in graphic detail, your past failures that have made you who you are today – which is NOT who you are holding space around being.
Now – the Self Mastery bit…
A warrior makes their own mood remember. A warrior consciously holds space around a certain possibility despite what anyone else says, does or thinks and despite a disconcerting lack of EVIDENCE.
“And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
The trick here is to know how the brain works. Neurobiology tells us that every emotion has a specific chemical signature associated with it. Hence, good moods relate to a certain chemical state in our brains and bad moods to another.
We also know that there is such a thing as ‘state based memory’ – such that if we learn something in a certain chemical state – e.g. high on something – we will be more easily able to remember it if we are in the same state.
The concept of ‘state based memories’ applies to moods. Hence if we are depressed we are more easily able to remember all of the other times in our lives when we have been depressed. Likewise if we are ecstatically happy we are more likely to remember other times when we have been happy.
Aha! I hear you say.
Making your own mood is therefore about consciously being aware of what mood you are in and consciously CHOOSING to shift that if it does not suit you.
How to do this?
If you take time to track the key or dominant thought patterns and their associated stories you will gain some conscious awareness of what events or thoughts trigger your plunge into reactiveness.
Once you are aware of the triggers the next step is to create an Anchor Memory that is strong enough in emotion that once you trigger it the direction of your thoughts shifts to new thoughts associated with the Anchor Memory.
By shifting your thoughts you shift your mood and by shifting your mood you shift your thoughts and hence break the reactive pattern.
By using your intent you can shift your thoughts and in this way you make your own mood.
This is the way of a Warrior.
This is the Power of Intention to change the World.