Give Yourself Permission
"Only when it is dark enough can you see the stars."
Martin Luther King Jnr
It never ceases to amaze me how with all the best intentions in the World we can pass on such toxic belief patterns to our children. See in an ideal World where we've all expanded out to become and be all that we are - we would honour our own inner guidance system with the utmost integrity.
But in the course of trying to raise children and help them to be all that they can be we all so often slip into something that goes like this "Hey kid I'm trying to teach you to be everything you can be and I think I know what I'm doing so do what I say or else I'm going to disapprove of what you are doing/withhold my love from you or whatever else works until you do - all in your best interests and because I love you of course..." And hence teach our children to follow us and seek our approval and permission to be who they are - which is actually OUR version of who we think they are...
Problem is how all this stuff gets buried like lost treasure to come up later in life once we start digging in to ourselves. Neuroscience research shows that from 0 - 2 years old the brain is predominantly in Delta brain wave patterns (deep sleep - unconscious) then from 2 - 6 predominantly Theta (transcendent states - subconscious) then once they hit 6 the brain pretty much normalises into an adult type of mix.
Between 2 and 6 then we are laying down some pretty deep seated subconscious belief patterns just as Mummy and Daddy are deciding that - now that we can walk, talk and answer back to them - they should be teaching us how we should be...
How does this manifest later in life?
At some stage many of us get to the point where we really want to connect with who we really are so we go digging and bingo up comes the buried treasure.
Working with a client the other day he explained to me how he had a story running that he always quit things and never stuck at things. He'd got a try out for a famous football club as a teenager but when it didn't go well and the coach gave him a bullocking he spat the dummy and never played competitive football again.
Somewhere along the line it became a life pattern and before long he had a story to support it. All of which became self fulfilling until he decided to do some digging.
Up comes the buried treasure - "I have a right to be encouraged and supported" he said
"Otherwise you're taking your ball and going home?" I asked
"Oh" he replied
"How about just giving yourself permission to be who you are and do what you want and give up on waiting for someone else to give you support and encouragement?" I asked
The penny dropped, blinkers were removed, life changed.
So, if you're waiting - DON'T - give yourself permission to be who you really are. TRUST that you really are the best judge of what you should be doing with your life and what is most important to YOU.