Getting Yourself Out Of The Way
“You choose to create your reality every single day and every single moment. Burn the past daily for it is gone and the only thing that lingers is the stories.”
Many times throughout my life I’ve heard people say “Get yourself out of the way you are your own worst enemy” but I never really understood what that meant and when pressed none of those who said it could explain it to me.
Of late I have found myself repeating this phrase to others so, not wanting to be a hypocrite, here is my attempt to explain the meaning.
I think we must begin with a few basic premises upon which to build meaning. So, beginning with Quantum Physics – the Universe began with a big bang and hence all that is in the Universe now is linked together as one via a Quantum Field. In Quantum Physics lingo this is known as entanglement – from a spiritual perspective one might say ‘All is one’.
The second premise is that as the Universe is always expanding. It has a tendency towards more complexity and more energy (see the Second Law of Thermodynamics). In simple terms it is always trying to create something AND nature is irreversible – hence no turning back.
The third premise is that the Universe abhors a vacuum. So whenever a vacuum is created it will always rush to fill it up.
Now translate all of these premises into an existential perspective and focus on the ‘being’ aspect of it and I believe you get the following.
We are all linked together so my ‘being’ is linked to yours and hence we influence each other and collectively we influence and create the tone of the World. Interestingly enough from a Neuroscience perspective they’ve recently discovered what has been called ‘mimic neurons’. As the name suggests mimic neurons mimic the actions and feelings of another. So if we see someone else accidently hit their thumb with a hammer our mimic neurons copy the other person and we ‘feel’ it too.
Researchers have also found that if a group of people are in the same room then the one who has the strongest held emotions sets the tone of the room. In other words they control the vibe.
Bring this into the field of Self Mastery and you can see how the whole notion of ‘Holding Space’ works. If you can strongly hold a feeling and not react to the feelings and emotions of others then you will be able to hold a space of possibility into which others may step.
Premise two – the Universe has a tendency towards complexity – it is always trying to create something. Maybe we should say it is always trying to create something ‘better’? Does ‘more complex’ mean ‘higher vibration’? And if so when translated into an existential perspective – higher vibration as in – more aligned with love rather than hate? Lighter rather than heavier. More indigo blue than deep red?
Premise three – the Universe abhors a vacuum. So everything is always full and any time a vacuum appears the Universe will rush to fill it up with something. Note that you don’t have to DO anything. The Universe will fill the vacuum up all on its own.
Translation – if you create a space then the Universe will rush to fill it up. What it fills it up with will be more complex than not. And – we are all linked together so we are able to play a role in setting the ‘tone’ of the environment.
So – we are co-creators not sole creators. Our power is exercised through holding space and we choose to hold this space by exercising our will and gently and calmly refusing to REACT to any negative stuff that other people may be putting out there (read hate, anger, spite, bitterness etc).
Now here’s the key.
The Universe is expanding and has a tendency towards COMPLEXITY – higher energy states.
In ‘Do you Suffer from Drama Syndrome?’ I proposed that we either create expansive life situations for ourselves or we create drama as a way of filling our energy quota.
Complexity as a higher vibration means love, compassion, kindness, gentleness.
We can choose to create the environment for this and then get out of the Universe’s way. It doesn’t need our instruction or interference to do this.
If we create a space – a vacuum – for it, then it will fill it up.
The problem is that more often than not if we create a vacuum either deliberately or accidentally then our FEAR jumps up, panic sets in and we rush to fill it up with what we think is the right thing to do.
Panic and fear causes us to jump into the hole before the Universe has a chance to fill it up.
WE GET IN THE WAY…
Well as far as I can work out – our egos like to think that ‘It’s all about me’. Past patterns will also limit us to an understanding of ‘the way the world works’ and faced with any sort of vacuum we rush to fill it up with what we think is right. JUST IN CASE something bad happens or we miss out in some way.
And this is where FAITH comes in. In ‘The Magic Box’ I shared an exercise for seeing how the really magical things that have happened in the past have occurred with little or no input and/or planning from you.
Now I hope you can see that the role that you can play in this is to create a space for possibility and hold it whilst resisting the temptation to jump into the hole and fill it up with what YOU THINK is right.
Acknowledging now that what YOU THINK is right is by definition limited to a very narrow range of options and does not open you up to the full range of possibilities that could exist.
Years ago I was fortunate enough to have this explained to me from a religious perspective. I asked a Rabbi what he prayed for and he explained to me that in his religion they did not believe that it was possible to comprehend the hand of God in action. So they prayed for courage to face whatever challenge was put before them content in the knowledge that only with the passing of time would the real meaning behind events be made clear to them.
I believe that we plant the seeds of possibility and then pray for the rain of grace. We get clear about what we want - what our vision for the future is – and then we hold space around that way of BEING – resisting the temptation to jump into the fray and try and work out the way it will come about or the form that it will take.
Using a gardening analogy – we turn the soil and prepare it by taking all the weeds and other crap out of it (we identify and release any negative thoughts and stories from our past that may be holding us back). Then we carefully and lovingly plant the seeds in the ground with a clear vision in our minds of what we want.
Then we step back and every day whilst there is still no sign of life, we continue to water the seeds and to hold a vision in our mind of what is going to appear (and with some seeds this takes 30 days or so).
Imagine what would happen if after a week we panicked and worried so much that nothing was happening – that there was no signs of life – we rushed into the garden and dug up the seeds to see what was happening?
Same with life.
So – how to do it?
Get a clear idea in your mind of what you want. Use the FutureMe exercise from ‘Walking between the Worlds’ to indentify a clear feeling of the state of ‘being’ associated with that possibility. Draw a circle around that state and sit in the circle imagining yourself ‘holding space’ around that possible future.
Don’t try to work out HOW that possible future is going to happen. Just sit with it and if a panic arises in relation to the HOW simply acknowledge it without giving it any energy. Feel the panic and BREATHE through it RELEASING the feeling of panic on every out breath.
Keep breathing through the feelings of panic and worry until they have all been RELEASED.
Stay in the circle until you can feel totally relaxed, at ease and aligned with the Vision.
Then RELEASE it. Release the OUTCOME and SURRENDER to the journey.
Consciously CHOOSE to SURRENDER to the journey accepting that you do not know all of the possible roads that will lead to that outcome.
Hold that space as a POSSIBILITY get yourself OUT OF THE WAY and allow the Universe to do its work – knowing that the Universe has a tendency towards complexity (love).
Treat it like a game and get excited about the possibilities of what might grow in the space you’ve created.
In this way we can live in a far more fluid and loving way released from the fears that arise from scarcity and doubt.
In this way we can change the World.